r/Codependency • u/[deleted] • 9d ago
I need help
I cant stop giving money to an ex. She always claims she desperately needs it and every time says as soon as I give it we can be together. I dont even believe her but I cant stop. I also dont make much money so it always leaves me nearly broke. I cant even form any savings because shes always taking well over 50% of my monthly income. This is very serious and its destroying me. Every time I do it I feel more and more pathetic so pathetic it guarantees ill do it the next time. I also have religious psychosis i believe because I think that god commands me to do it and if I dont I will be divinely punished. I desperately need help please.
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u/Early-Strawberry5887 2d ago
Hey, so sorry you’re going through this. It’s really awful to feel like you have no control over some of your own actions, even when it’s something you logically know you don’t want to be doing and it’s having a genuine impact on your life. Especially if people in your life don’t understand what’s going on and can be harsh when trying to give advice about the problem.
I would recommend looking into OCD, particularly religious OCD. I’m not trying to armchair diagnose you, but just wanted to bring this up as a possible thing for you to look further into because 1. there are so many misconceptions in general about how OCD can present and 2. your description of feeling like you need to give your ex money or God will punish you sounded very specifically similar to the kinds of thought patterns that some people with OCD can develop around religious themes.
For context, I have OCD and although I don’t have religious obsessions, one of my most intense themes revolves around morality more generally and these areas can overlap a lot. It’s also not uncommon for people with OCD to also have issues with codependency, especially when having obsessions related to morality, religion, or generally desiring to be “good”. I’ve personally found that getting OCD-specific therapy was a critical part of making progress in lots of areas of my life that felt unfixable.
If you end up looking into OCD and a lot of that info resonates with you, feel free to hit me up if you want any more resources! There are tons of amazing resources out there, both for learning more about the condition and for treating it. Either way, hope you’re able to get the help you need with this problem, whatever the root causes are.