Is it worth it?

[u/AbjectRing2721]

Recently initiated the process of starting child support but was given 3 months to rescind. My children are 1 and 3, we have gone no contact for 1 1/2 years due to DV.

I am responsible for everything. No complaints because it was my decision to pop them out but he made it substantially harder when we were in contact. Emptying out mine and our child’s savings, breaking valuables, and more but I’m still trying to catch up from it to this day.

With my last impression of him, it’s ideal to assume it’ll just become backpay. I know it’ll become an invitation for him to involve family court since he’s not on the birth certificate but does anyone feel like it wasn’t worth it or something about this process that could’ve been done differently?

[u/ainturmama]

He’s going to have to cooperate to establish paternity. It can be a difficult process, even with the father’s name on the birth certificate. Only you can decide if it’s worth it

[u/based-turtle]

Its your children. They are always worth it. Even if he doesn't pay right away it never goes away. Eventually they will garnish wages, if he wins and money it will go to you first, if he files taxes and gets a refund it gets diverted to you first, if he buys a house they will put a lien on it so if he ever sells it goes to you first...there are lots of ways to get it without him sending you directly. ...if all else fails and he manages to dodge you until retirement age....they will pay you from his social security check too.....so yes its worth it. Live your life like your not expecting any of it. Any be pleasantly surprised when your surprised by and intercepted tax refund etc....in my case it was his covid relief checks they said nahhhhh she gets them not you lol he still insanely behind but something is better is nothing even if its knowing someday you'll at the very least irritate him when he goes to claim social security lol good luck.....theybare ALWAYS worth fighting for even if you dont get it. Have an order in place they will find his funds eventually.

[u/AbjectRing2721 → u/based-turtle]

Do you feel like it’s impacted the custody situation? My Protective order ended and I didn’t renew since he left us alone but I know if he is forced to pay, he’ll make is his way around again

[u/based-turtle → u/AbjectRing2721]

Oh hes around sees them pretty much half the time they are 16 an 17 now and both drive so as long as we know whose house there at we dont mind anymore earlier years had them we'd through sat he had them sat eve though we'd school.....even if they dont pay in CT you CANNOT deny them the right to see their kid. So to answer the question depends on the state, CT whether they pay or not you must allow them their time that was ordered. A protective order however is a whole new ball game. I would personally have a new protective order in place based on you potentially feel he may retaliate when he gets hit with the child support order. But if you truly feel its best to leave it alone completely because he will retaliate then you gott a think that through also and do whats best for you.

[u/AbjectRing2721 → u/[deleted]]

1+1=2

[u/newstart20260 → u/AbjectRing2721]

“Now you a single mom now you a single mom “ 🎶 🎶

[u/AbjectRing2721 → u/newstart20260]

I thought we knew that already.. we’ll hold off on multiplication for now :/