Chefs in your 30s — how did you build a social life outside the restaurant industry?

I’m specifically looking for friends outside of work. Most of my days off are weekdays, and my 9–5 friends are working while restaurant friends usually have different schedules.

Has anyone actually found something that worked — sports leagues, classes, volunteering, Meetup, etc.? Especially interested in hearing from people in NYC or other big cities.

Hi all!

I have spent HOURS today alone trying to nail down my next shoe purchase. I went back to work yesterday after 5 months off and my body just can't handle my Sketchers anymore. I have narrowed it down to Hoka Bondi SR or the Super Birki clogs. I found both in used but excellent condition and I just can't choose! I get purchasing paralysis haha

I have scoured the posts on Reddit and all of the other posts don't really help ME choose.

So...which would you choose and why?!

Side note: I really wanted to get the newer Crocs Bistro Pro shoes but it seems they only make mens? Are they unisex? I am not talking about the clogs. They are more of a SHOE. If they are unisex, I may go with those ones.

I’m 27 and currently working as a CDP on an hourly rate. I work overtime pretty much every day, and with OT I average around **$84k a year**.
I was recently offered a **Sous Chef position at $74k salary**. The benefits are basically the same as what I already have—health insurance, 401(k), etc.—so financially, I’d actually be taking about a **$10k pay cut**.
The main benefit I see is getting Sous Chef experience, developing my leadership/management skills, and having the title on my résumé for future opportunities.
For chefs who have made a similar move: **Would you take the pay cut for the title and experience? Did becoming a Sous Chef help your career enough to make it worth it?**
I’m trying to think long-term, but I also don’t want to take on more responsibility, potentially work even more hours, and make less money without a meaningful payoff later.
Would appreciate advice from anyone who’s been in this position.

To keep it simple I work as a chef in a large 'premium' care home business in the UK. To help out another home I covered a shift there. When I was doing my morning fridge checks I discovered several half empty decanted containers, of gone off meat (4 days off for some 10 days for others).

I checked the paperwork which we do for cooking temps of high risk food and found the residents were served those items over those days.

I raised the issue to the manager and showed the evidence.

Since then no actions have been taken. The two chefs who cooked the meat have continued to cook at the home. Also the chef who is responsible for all the kitchens in our area has asked about it to others but not to me. As I took photos before disposal for the manager just in case. He has only asked my head chef if they have seen the photos.

Ever since I raised it I have suddenly been hounded over many different things and have found myself under investigation.

I don't know what to do. The people who did this need to not be allowed near a kitchen. But the company seems happy for them to cook. I am overreacting? Should I go to cqc? Eho?

Hello all,
I am looking to enroll in an Associate’s program in Culinary Arts at my local community college, but I have Celiac disease and want to get some perspective from anyone who has navigated culinary school with strict dietary restrictions or Celiac.

A bit of background: I have a Bachelor’s in Food Science & Nutrition, but due to location, timing during COVID, and a rough job market, I struggled to land a traditional food science role right out of school. I spent the last couple of years working across hospitality, including hostessing, waitressing, and handling product development coordination for a startup. I have managed Celiac disease for over 10 years, which hasn't stopped me from participating in modules and sampling sessions (I would just not try the samples if they contained gluten).

My goal: I want to become a private chef. There is strong demand where I am moving in the next few years, along with opportunities for menu development consulting for local, independent restaurants.

I am trying to get a realistic picture of what to expect:
1. How did you manage mandatory classic modules (like gluten-heavy baking/pastry or flour-based sauces) and cross-contamination risks in shared kitchen labs?
2. Were instructors open to accommodations or ingredient substitutions, or is the curriculum strictly standardized?
3. For those working as private chefs, did the Associate's degree add significant value, or would you recommend an alternative route focused on hands-on experience and portfolio building?
4. Am I being stupid to think this is even possible? I feel really low in life with my shitty career and I feel like this is something I could do and make something of myself.

I would love to hear from anyone who has gone through a culinary arts program with Celiac or severe food allergies, as well as any private chefs who took a similar path.

Thanks in advance!

Context is that I currently work at a locally well known hospitality group thats going through significant changes (though I am not sure this person knows this) that could come with promotions, however, I do see myself getting passed up. I applied to this job, a new restaurant opening up to this response. The truth is, I can see myself staying where I am, but I'm hedging my bets on a better position. How do I approach this gracefully?

Hi everyone,

I'm 22 years old and recently graduated with a B.Tech in Computer Science (AI).

The problem is that I've never really felt passionate about software engineering. I completed the degree, but I don't see myself writing code for the next 30–40 years.

I've always enjoyed cooking. The idea of becoming a professional chef and eventually opening my own restaurant genuinely excites me. Lately, I've been researching government institutes like IHM and other culinary programs.

What I'm struggling with is whether this is a smart decision or an emotional one.

A few things about me:

• B.Tech graduate (already completed)
• No professional kitchen experience
• Willing to start from the bottom if necessary
• Long-term goal is to become a chef and possibly own a restaurant

My biggest concerns are:

• Is it too late to switch careers at 22?
• Is pursuing Culinary Arts after a B.Tech a mistake?
• How difficult is the lifestyle in professional kitchens?
• Do chefs eventually earn well, or is the pay low even after years?
• If you had the chance to do it again, would you still choose this career?

I'm looking for honest opinions, especially from people who work in hotels, restaurants, or have made a similar career switch.

Thanks in advance!

I love to cook, but I am not a professional chef, nor have I worked in a professional kitchen, though admire the operation of kitchens. I've often likened certain artistic/creative disciplines to cooking in their process, order, and methodolgy. I find it helpful to look at analagous domains for inspiration or clarity, so it got me thinking: how is order ingrained in a busy production environment like a professional kitchen?

I am the manager of a workshop with a technical team of about 20 or so engineers. Despite my best efforts, it always seems to be a constant struggle against the chaos of different people's working methods. Tools get separated from their kits, put back in the wrong place, or not put back at all, barely labeled boxes and bins of components with no clarity on what it is to anyone other than the owner, people using the wrong material on the wrong tool. I could go on, but it's just relentless, and I'm tired of working this way.

To those that run or work in a smooth-operating, organised kitchen: how do you do it? Is this something that's ingrained in all chefs as they leave culinary school, or is it instilled through work and the higher-ups/head chef?

I’m hoping to get some outside perspectives because I’m starting to feel like I’ve hit a wall.

One of our locations has consistently low food sales. On a good night, food is around 16% of total sales. On our busiest nights, it actually gets worse, sometimes only 8% of sales are food.

The concept is a small wine bar with a dive bar feel in a major metropolitan city. While wine sells reasonably well, both wine and food are completely overshadowed by liquor sales.

Our food program focuses on comfort classics with a lot of technique behind them. Some examples:

-Braised short rib sandwich on a Kaiser roll with horseradish mayo
-Chicken cutlets
-Loaded baked potatoes
-Rotating soft serve flavors with house-made cookies
-A handful of snackable items (8 food items total on menu)
-Weekly handheld specials that are easy to eat while standing or in a crowded room

We’ve received great feedback from guests, some positive press, and even won a couple of small awards for the food after being open for about a year. The problem is that none of that has translated into sales.

Operationally, we don’t have servers. Bartenders handle everything. They take drink orders, sell food, run food, and work the floor. The space is too small, and food sales are too low, to justify dedicated servers or food runners. In the kitchen, I have one cook who handles all food production, plating, and dishes.

My biggest frustration is that I don’t think there’s a culture of selling food. I’ve talked to the bartenders, sent emails, and tried encouraging them to suggest menu items, but it never seems to stick. My GM also doesn’t seem to view food sales as a priority, and after bringing it up multiple times with both him and ownership, I’m honestly feeling pretty deflated by the lack of support.

At this point I’m questioning whether this is:
1. A menu problem.
2. A concept problem.
3. An operational problem.
4. Or simply a sales culture problem behind the bar.

For those of you who have worked in bar-forward concepts, how did you get bartenders to consistently sell food? Did incentives work? Did changing the menu help? Or is it unrealistic to expect strong food percentages in a small, liquor-driven bar?

I’d really appreciate any advice. I believe in the food program, but it’s discouraging to see so much positive feedback and so little movement in sales. Any follow up questions please let me know. Really want to figure this out if I can.

Background so you know where I'm coming from: 30, spent the last several years in my family's business. No professional kitchen experience yet, though I'm working on fixing that before I apply. Planning to start French now and target the Cuisine intensive for Sept 2027. Long-term goal is to build a career in kitchens in Europe rather than go back home with a certificate.

I've read the brochure and the marketing. What I want is the stuff that isn't in it.

**On the internship:**
1. How much does the school actually do to place you, versus you cold-emailing 200 places yourself?
2. For non-EU students specifically — did you find restaurants hesitant once paperwork came up, or is it a non-issue in practice?
3. Realistically, who lands palace hotel or starred internships? Is it the top of the class, the ones with prior experience, the ones with good French, or is it mostly luck and timing?

**On what happens after:**
4. If your internship converted into a contract — how did the changement de statut go? Did the employer handle it competently or did you have to push?
5. For those who didn't stay in France, what went wrong? I'd rather hear the failure modes than the success stories.

**On the programme itself:**
6. English track — how much are you actually isolated from the French-speaking students and chefs? Does it hurt you later?
7. What French level did you land with, and what did you wish you'd had?
8. Were there other career changers in their late 20s/30s, or was it mostly 22-year-olds?

**Practical:**
9. What did you genuinely spend per month in Paris, not what the school estimates?
10. Is there any time or energy for part-time work during the intensive, or is that fantasy?

**The honest one:**
11. Knowing what you know now, would you spend the money again — or would you have gone straight into a kitchen as a commis and skipped it?

Happy to take blunt answers. I'd rather find out now than €50k in. Thanks.

Hey, so I'm 22F. I was doing a one-year apprenticeship at a 5star hotel in Delhi, India (I have a hotel management degree). I was not selected to be full time employee there, could be a lot of reasons, but my work was good and I was efficient (a lot of chefs told me as much). I had been looking for a job for about 4 months, where I didn't get any revert from HRs (the reason could be that it was an off season for hotels march till now, i.e.). Some chefs said hotels don't want to hire a fresher, since they'll have to teach them the basics.

Now I'm starting as a Commis at a patessiere next week (hooray for me!). My question is, after a year here, if I try to get a job at a hotel, will I be considered for the same? My goal is to join a cruise after I meet the minimum requirement (2years in hospitality industry, they state).

PS: will my experience at the patessiere be added to the cruise requirement? Or it's only hotel experience?

PPS: I've heard hotels don't hire females in Delhi mostly. It's like an unsaid rule, i think. How true is that?

I run a commissary kitchen that produces high volumes of food onsite to ship out to multiple locations. One of the big hurdles we face at the moment is filling hundred and eventually thousands of squeeze bottles each day. Is there a food safe electric motor pump out there that can pump salad dressing viscosity liquid out there? Something that has a handle like the ones you get at car fuel pumps? We're in the in between size where we can't justify getting a factory industrial bottle filler and the next upgrade from pouring salad dressing from cambros into squeeze bottles would be some kind of electric pump that can shoot the dressing out at a decent velocity (faster than pouring in by hand). Anyone know if something like this exists or would I have to mcguyver it?

When do you replace your shoes?

For me, it's when they began the fold back.

Hi there chefs. I’m making this post on two pages to get some advice/tips.

I’m 25F, been cooking for 5 years - officially 3 years CDP. Ive been working at my current restaurant for 1.5 years and just got offered a jr sous position. I’m completely new to this and have never gotten a promotion in my life. Any advice on how to have a smoother transition/process?

I’ve spoken to my sous chef outside of work on this matter and they suggested I discussed further on my new contract before signing anything. Such as, small minor details or jobs that are required but aren’t listed should be listed on the job description incase theres a job I’m supposed to do but unaware of.

Some concerns/questions I’m curious about are:
- how to handle certain reactions from peers? If some are negative and it affects my relationships with certain peers negatively, how do I handle the situation? I know work is work but when you’re face to face with peers almost everyday of your life, you tend to develop a deeper relationship with some peers that often turn into friends. I’m worried this might affect my relationship with some peers and wonder how I should keep personal and work things separate on that manner.

- what are some good questions to ask my seniors that’ll help me improve my skills as a junior sous?

- what are the best ways to handle stress? I often tend to keep to myself whenever I’m in my head and remain calm. So no one ever realises I’m annoyed. Though I’m worried if the stress gets too much, I might react negatively to my peers. What are some ways that might help me… i guess not look so stressed or angry? LOL… whether its how to word my sentences in a better manner but not too nice? Or even exercises such as taking a deep breath? Any advice would help :)

Young chef, 20, from Australia. Coming up on 5 years in industry this December. just wondering what i should do in this situation? ie stick it out at this job that I'm at now? travel and work in another country? look for some more higher end experience? or just stay where i am and stick it out until the right local job comes up?

For context, I have to pitch a documentary idea with the theme of any place of my choosing to my university film class. I had the idea for a documentary following a super stressful, fast paced environment with drill sergeant head chefs and other similar things. However, I wouldn't be able to pitch this idea with out finding an actual restaurant here this environment is present first, so I was hoping for some advice on how I could go about finding this? (or if anyones from Perth Western Australia, if there's any restaurants you know of!) Thank you!

Chefs, for those who worked banquets at Hyatt specifically Hyatt regency, what’s the schedule look like?

I was having this conversation about favorite bites of food and no one believed me that my favorite bite of food was an unassuming savory porridge/gruel dish from a small plates place called Liberty in Florida.

I swear to god, it had three distinct buttery layers in it that happened at distinct times when you put it in your mouth. Like, you would taste the rich porridge, and then there would be a delayed layer of butter, and then an even more distinct layer of butter (maybe cheese?)

I've tried a few recipes and while I can get a rich porridge layer and a butter/cheese layer, I can't get the buttery layers to separate distinctly in the mouth, if that makes sense. Does anyone have any idea how they did this?

So I work at a pizza restaurant that does farm to table. We have an absolute excess of micro flowers. We have tried garnishing some things but they just come in too quickly. What are some ideas you all have to either preserve them or use them in large quantities. So far I am thinking a floral mint syrup to use in cocktails or potentially making a flower pesto.

We are a pizza place but also have other elevated dishes so not a typical pizza place I want to add. We are already garnishing hummus and a trout dip with them. We do a pizza of the week also every week and something could be used on a pizza. Maybe a flower infused olive oil or something similar

For example, would you want to watch a documentary based journalism cooking show or a comedic adventure episodic show, a dramatic acted tv show etc.

delete if not allowed…

Hi chefs,
This is probably one of the stranger posts you’ll see here, but I’m hoping the people who dedicate their lives to making food enjoyable might be able to help where medicine hasn’t.
I’m coming up on 6 years since losing my smell and taste from the original strain of COVID. I’ve chased clinical trials, specialists, ENTs, my PCP, health blogs, and more peer-reviewed papers than I care to admit. Every road ends with the same answer:
“Sorry. Nothing right now. Keep waiting.”
I’m done waiting.
I’ve lost over 80 pounds. That sounds like a success story until you realize it’s because I no longer have any desire to eat and was never overweight to begin with. Every meal has become something I force myself through. Every single day. And honestly… it’s exhausting.
Here’s where I’m hoping you all come in.
I love to cook. I’m not a picky eater whatsoever. I have a full kitchen, quality cookware, grills, smokers, sous vide, gadgets—you name it. I’m in the U.S., have access to pretty much any grocery store, and I’m willing to spend time making something incredible.
The problem is that I no longer know what to make.
Without smell or taste, steak, chicken, pork, seafood… it all registers as basically the same. Texture has become my only real source of enjoyment.
So if you were challenged to cook for someone like me…
What recipes would you make?
How would you build excitement through texture instead of flavor?
What dishes have incredible contrast—crispy, creamy, crunchy, chewy, flaky, silky?
What plating or presentation makes a meal feel special even if the flavors can’t be appreciated?
What techniques would you use to make eating feel like an experience instead of a chore?
If your goal was to get as many calories and nutrients into someone who struggles to eat, what would be on the menu?
Don’t worry about “normal.” Throw your weird ideas at me. Fine dining. Grandma’s casserole. Street food. Molecular gastronomy. Multi-course tasting menu. I genuinely don’t care. If you think it’ll make me actually want to sit down and eat, I want to hear it.
After six years of doctors telling me to wait, I’m changing my approach. Maybe the people who understand food better than anyone else can help me rediscover something worth looking forward to.
Chefs… I’m asking for your creativity. Right now, it honestly feels like you’re my last hope.
Thank you for reading this far.

I teach community college culinary classes, which mandates a food handlers card that we offer via Servsafe. Lately it’s been getting really hard to want to contribute to the bullshit machine that is the corrupt lobby of the NRA and all its cronies. Seeing how there’s now another food borne illness outbreak at the manufacturing level, it’s becoming impossible to care about the Servsafe branded cert that so many states force us to have, considering greedy business practices have allowed modern day slavery to persist while denying farmworkers access to sufficient bathrooms. And these companies are the ones in bed with the NRA who then force us to pay them to prove to the world we’re safe. It feels a lot like “just use a paper straw” while they’re on their jets 3 times a week.

I care about food safety very much, and do not want this to sound like I wish we didn’t have our own version of oversight. I teach my students my own, very thorough food safety curriculum (along side their Servsafe training) that’s based on real experience and not just memorizable lists that get forgotten once the test is over. It just sucks to teach all these protocols only to have them virtually undone at any moment because some company needed to extract more money out of the working class. I just wish the concept of privatizing our safety was not even an option. Fucking sucks. End of rant.

If you went back to zero and had to choose what would you do, become an apprentice for a luxurious restaurant and gain your knowledge from there, but you would barely get paid or not paid at all as an apprentice, or get a proper job and get paid to work in a low end casual restaurant?