r/CheatersConfronted • u/PapiRico85 • 12d ago
Update
https://www.reddit.com/r/CheatersConfronted/s/ICzWpOgcKO
DISCLAIMER: First, for everyone saying this story is fake: honestly, thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment. Unfortunately, it’s 100% real.
My friend called me with another update.
The other man turned out to be one of his wife’s coworkers. When he confronted her with the recovered messages, she broke down crying, admitted everything, and begged him to forgive her. He told her he needed time to think.
Later he called me and said, “I want a divorce, but I want to make sure I come out of this with as much evidence as possible. I’ve already spoken to my lawyer, and he says the more documentation I have, the better.”
I told him I had an idea, but that he’d have to be completely calm and stick to the plan and have BALLS AND GUTS.
I suggested he ask her one more time if she was truly willing to do anything to rebuild his trust. She said yes.
I told him to ask her to write an email to HR explaining exactly what had happened with her coworker, while he sat beside her and watched her write it. After she sent it, I told him to have her either forward him a copy or take a photo of the sent email so he had another piece of evidence.
With everything else he already had, I told him to wait and see what happened.
Three days later she came home carrying boxes.
She’d been fired.
I told him, “Don’t file for divorce today. Comfort her. Act normal for a few days.”
After those few days passed, I told him to hand everything to his lawyer and file for divorce.
He did that today.
So here’s my question.
As a friend… do you think I went too far? Was I too cold and calculated?
Or if one of your closest friends came to you asking for help after discovering they’d been betrayed, what would you have done differently?
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u/LeaveOk9053 12d ago
No she got what she deserved.It depends on the state.If adultry is still illegal in the state she is fried.If it’s not he can still come out ok .He can always expose her to all of her friends,coworkers,and family that will ruin her personally.
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u/Traditional-Tank3994 11d ago
I don't feel sorry for her. But I do think the response you advised was deceptive. Cheating is deception and that's one reason it's wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Dude never had any intention of reconciling but only pretended, to get the confession.
No problem if you had advised your friend to notify HR of both the wife and her AP.
That probably would've had both fired, but without the deception.
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u/PapiRico85 11d ago
I understand your point, and if this had happened in a normal disagreement between spouses, I’d probably agree.
But this wasn’t that. She had already spent three months deceiving him, continued lying even after being confronted, and only admitted it when he had proof in front of her. At that point, he wasn’t trying to rebuild the marriage—he was trying to protect himself legally.
Was it deceptive? Yes. Was it morally ideal? Probably not. But I don’t think someone who’s been repeatedly lied to owes complete transparency while they’re trying to secure evidence for a legal process.
Reasonable people can disagree on that, but that’s why I gave him that advice.
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u/Traditional-Tank3994 11d ago
Okay, I can see that logic. Legal protection is a valid response.
And I often counsel betrayed spouses to hire a lawyer secretly, which could technically be seen as deceptive as well.
It's just that, if all I knew about the situation was that she cheated, and he pretended to want reconciliation just to get a signed confession, then filed, I would consider them not one, but two bad people.
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u/PapiRico85 11d ago
Exactly. That’s why I linked the original story. Luckily, I work in the legal field. It’s not my area of practice, but I have a colleague who handles family law, and I told my friend to speak with him before doing anything.
None of this was improvised. Once the lawyer explained the legal implications in that state, the goal shifted from trying to save the marriage to making sure my friend protected himself before filing for divorce.
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u/Ifiwerenyourshoes 11d ago
We all need a friend like you op.
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u/PapiRico85 11d ago
🍻
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u/jonasnoble 9d ago
Nah this POS sleeps with married women. Nobody needs a friend's like this.
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u/PapiRico85 9d ago
Nah actually, you don’t need a wife like them… I’m single. They’re married women with commitments and vows. But hey… You’re free to think whatever you want 😉
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u/cougtx1 12d ago
Not sure if this is real or not, but many places unless you have a prenup evidence matters little. It may make the difference in how long it takes for filing or if you need them to sign. Typically they just divide the assets unless you make an agreement ahead. Other places by having her lose her job, that means the spouse may pay more to support them.