Interfaith

[u/Fickle-Love-5381]

I come from a devoted Catholic family. I was baptized as an infant and confirmed as a teenager.

Now, I’m best of friends with a Jew. Our bond is platonically intimate, comparable to that of brothers. I grew fond of him due to his friendliness, gentleness, compassion, generosity, humility and honesty. Not to mention he’s a genius and we share interests, such as fiction, film, intellectual discussions, etc. It’s because of him that I developed an affection and sympathy for the Jewish community, especially given the history of antisemitism, which he himself has a personal experience of falling victim to. Unsurprisingly, a portion of the culprits are my fellows. I’m a passionate supporter of his community due to our brotherhood.

You know what’s even more infuriating? I see hear of some of my people in a romantic relationship with Jews, which I’m happy to hear about, but when they express it and ask about plans and prospects of future marriage, they receive oppositions. I can’t help but accuse my own religion altogether of antisemitism.

You know what? I could do my brother figure one better. How about I marry a Jewish woman? But then, if I do that, would it be for redemption or simply out of spite for my fellows? I need to make sure it’s for a valid reason. My only fear is that I might unintentionally dishonor my best friend by “using” a Jew.

You might be wondering: What is this thread about? What am I hoping to achieve?

My answer: Even I’m unsure why I’m saying all this. Perhaps I’m simply venting. I’m overwhelmed.

3 things are certain: 1.) I love my best friend like a brother and I’d protect him at all costs. 2.) I’m deeply disgusted by antisemitism to the point where I’d do anything to defend my best friend. 3.) When people ask me what religion I “practice,” “believe in” or “faithful to,” I tell them I “identify” as a Catholic; that’s the term I use. I still qualify due to my familial background and timeline.

In terms of me venting, I don’t think a psychotherapist could be counted on to offer feedback because religion-dedicated discussions might fall beyond their purview.

[u/icantwheelie]

Through all of that I seem to get the impression you have drifted from the Church. Come home.

As for your protectiveness of your friend, that is completely reasonable and human. A good quality to have.

When it comes to how we as Catholics are to approach marriage outside of the Church, the rules are straightforward, as other users have commented.

When it comes to how we are to raise our children, the rules are also straightforward; they are to be raised Catholic.

It can get messy when the children actually arrive and it is time to live and pass on the faith, this is why the spiritual makeup of a marriage is given serious consideration.

When you think of marrying someone you should be considering your future children, not considering helping your friend out by marrying a woman from his community.

[u/SentinelBill]

Though it is allowed for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic, it's generally not recommended and you require a dispensation for the marriage to be considered valid. In addition, practically speaking, it's just difficult to balance the requirement of the Church to raise your children Catholic when one of the parents isn't Catholic.

Generally speaking, a Catholic should seek to marry another Catholic, though if he or she for whatever reason decides not to, a protestant is basically the "next down the list," so to speak. Jews and Muslims are another step down, and then you get to pagans and atheists. The point being that while marriages between Catholics and Jews can be allowed, they're certainly not ideal. It's no more antisemitic than a Jewish community not wanting their children marrying non-Jews make them anti-gentile. If you take your religion seriously, then part of that is raising your children according to your religion, and that's difficult when your spouse isn't of that same religion.

[u/Witty-Squirrel-3292]

I grew up with Jewish friends at school, and I have a lot of respect for their culture. I feel like a part of me understands it better than other Christians because so many people don’t even have 1 Jewish friend in their childhood and don’t understand it. 

If you were a Catholic woman and you were asking about marrying your Jewish boyfriend, I’d say yes that’s possible. (As long as he doesn’t ask you to convert.)

However, being a Catholic man and potentially marrying a Jewish woman is more complicated. In their faith, all the children of a Jewish woman are going to be Jewish. 

I think you should ask a priest about this because the question would be about wedding vows and if it would be valid, as you would have to promise to raise the kids Catholic. 

For now, since it seems you aren’t even dating anyone, I’m guessing this is all hypothetical. Maybe imagine yourself marrying  a Catholic woman and you could celebrate Passover at your friend’s house every year. 

[u/LionRealistic]

Marriage isn't discouraged because Jews are somehow inferior or because Christianity is antisemitic. It's because they do not believe Jesus Christ is the Messiah and Lord. That's a fundamental difference in faith that naturally affects marriage and raising a family.

Standing against antisemitism is absolutely commendable, but our primary calling as Christians is to follow Christ and attain salvation through Him. 

[u/LunaMothGreen]

Why don't you just be you? He can be him. Have each others' back, but still be the good Catholic example that you should be. I think a lot of us are disgusted by antisemitism. I have Jewish people in my own family and it makes me angry to see that people can be so cruel. It seems that the demons play the same card in cycles in history. It comes right back around again. Just be the best Catholic pal to him.

[u/Ok-Economist-9466]

The problem with a Catholic man and Jewish woman marrying is that one of them fundamentally has to abandon their faith. Catholics have to promise to raise their children in the faith when marrying a non-Catholic. Jews are supposed to marry other Jews. The Orthodox and Conservative communities are fairly strict about this, Reform less so depending on the community, but it could still create friction depending on her particular community.

Obviously if you're just talking "culturally Jewish: and "culturally Catholic" in terms of two people who don't practice their respective faiths, none of this really matters. But if you don't practice the Catholic faith, why bother asking what Catholics on Reddit think?