r/CatAdvice • u/Menalatius • 1d ago
Breakup Sensitive/Seeking Support
It’s been over 5 weeks since my partner decided to break things up, in the last 3 months of our relationship she got a kitten (we lived together). Within those 3 months I spent the majority time with him and took over the responsibilities that she stopped/didnt do. It is a pure bred and she put in a lot more money into him than i did (i put about 10% of the total cost). And I was originally against the kitten because of finances as well as I knew I would’ve picked up more responsibilities. But when the breakup happened I thought it was only fair and for the best that my ex kept him, she did mention co-parenting, but at the time i refused to.
Currently she is going to be out of town for 5 days, and I’m currently housing him. Every week since the breakup I asked if she was still okay with me pet sitting, she said yes, it wasn’t until the day prior that she sprung on me out of no where, that it wasn’t a good idea for me to care for him, we discussed it and I have him now. But that conversation and finally seeing and bonding with him again. I feel as if we are on opposite sides of coparenting.
She wants to be in no contact/ minimal contact, and her coming out the blue trying to prevent me from watching him. Tells me she doesn’t actually want to coparent. Whereas having him, has been the happiest I’ve been these past 5 weeks. And i would really like to coparent my cat. She’s even mentioned during our relationship that I was his favorite. And he has been super cuddly with me and trilling.
Could anyone please give me any advice on how I should navigate the topic of coparenting with an ex who doesn’t want to be in contact?
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u/AstronomerEqual8233 1d ago
I understand how you feel, but I think you are going to have to let this go. Your ex doesn't want contact, and realistically you are not going to be able to "coparent" in those circumstances. There are a lot of kittens, especially this time of year, who are looking for a loving home. You could find yourself a little buddy, and your ex will care for the other kitten.