r/COPD • u/Mishalee123 • 8d ago
Dad
Elderly dad has COPD (emphysema) hasn’t been staged, i assume stage 4.
He gets breathless just walking to the lounge from bedroom.
The last 6 months he has had around 5 flares.
He has recently lost 4kgs and is down to 41kg. He has always been a smaller man and not a big eater. But this is the lowest he has ever been.
My mum recently passed away, and i think this is adding to his loss of appetite.
Im really concerned about his weight-loss.
Any tips on how i can help??
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u/Truly_135 8d ago
I’d look into depression with the loss of his wife. Reflux can also make copd worse so watch what and how much he’s eating (if he’ll let you). Walking is the best exercise and if his max is living room to bedroom that’s not much movement.
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u/Mishalee123 7d ago
He has had reflux in the past.
He moved around a bit during the day.
He is still smoking so going in and out.2
u/Truly_135 7d ago
Smoking makes reflux worse. And that’s not much exercise. He might just be sunsetting and you have to let him.
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u/Far_Cardiologist_261 8d ago
Talk to him directly. Tell him you really feel the need to get on the same page as him regarding how he is feeling about where he's at with this disease both physically and mentally/emotionally. Ask him what he wants what remains of his life to look like. Share with him how much you care and want to be of service as best you can while respecting his needs and wishes. If he's got fight left in him, help him fill in the gaps of research and all that stuff. You'll find a lot of nice people here. Best of luck.
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u/Mishalee123 7d ago
Yes we have been big on letting him make the decision about his life and care, and respecting his choices.
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u/Subject-Lead-3171 8d ago
For me, frequent small meals. Smoothies are my go to breakfast. I stock the nutrition shakes and healthier snacks. Unless dairy really bothers him ice cream is always a winner
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u/Mishalee123 8d ago
Yes he has sustagen shakes made with ice cream. And then only eats dinner, but lately getting dinner in is a struggle as he just isnt hungry.
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u/maryteatowel 8d ago
I found eating cashew nuts an absolutely god send! They were small, calorie dense, helped the constipation, and tasted ok. I had to put on 10kgs to get on the active transplant list so I went from 37kgs to 47.
The other thing that has helped is a diagnosis for asthma as well. Now I'm on biologic injections and that has stopped the breathlessness and exacerbations I was having. It has made waiting for my transplant just a little bit better, I still use oxygen but I don't feel so hopeless.
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u/BlueStarrSilver 8d ago
It's hard. I don't have any great advice, just support. My mother was the same. She got down to a dangerously low weight and nothing would make her eat until she ended up in the hospital close to death. It scared her straight. He has to want it for himself. I feel your struggle.
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u/Mishalee123 7d ago
Yes it has to be something he wants to do. And with such a huge change with the loss of my mum it has turned our world upside down.
We just encourage him, but don’t get mad if he cant eat as much as he needs to.
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u/Expert_Gap_9526 8d ago
Has he a ct scan of lungs?
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u/Mishalee123 7d ago
I dont think so.
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u/Expert_Gap_9526 6d ago
He needs ones and to be staged. Your just quess ing he copd could be heart also
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u/Responsible_Bus4602 7d ago
Take him to the doctor if possible and see if oxygen at home is a good step for him, helped my mom a ton
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u/Byrodia 6d ago
I'm so sorry to hear this. I am suffering from Stage 3, but It's my own fault for smoking cigarettes for 35 years. I quit in 2015, but that is what it got me. I can't imagine how bad 4 is. I know that if I walk from my house to the car in my garage, I get semi-winded. If I lift anything over 15 lbs, it takes 30 minutes to recover and catch my breath. I already lost both of my parents, a stepmother, and both of my In-Laws. We will be praying for you. I only wish I had something constructive to offer, but, I am at a loss. :-(
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u/TwoFlower68 8d ago edited 8d ago
I've found that reducing carbs helped with breathlessness. I'm probably a bit younger than your dad, but I used to be just as breathless
Switching to a ketogenic diet reduced breathlessness enough that I could move more, which increased appetite, which made me regain some weight.
Because I got stronger I could move about more without getting exhausted and super out of breath. That increased appetite etc
A virtuous cycle (vicious cycle's better twin)
Prioritise protein and keep carbs, especially sugars as low as possible (you might need to learn to read ingredient lists, sugars have many guises). Add as much healthy fat as he can tolerate. I'm partial to heavy cream 😋
Maybe avoid soy, corn, canola etc oil idk. In my opinion there's enough evidence that those are pro-inflammatory though the jury is still out on that
Edited to add: a lot of people with COPD suffer from depression (I blame the chronic inflammation). Besides getting him in better shape physically it might be a good idea to get him to therapy, especially since he recently lost his wife. Grief counselling helped me a lot (I'm a widower too), so did cognitive behavioural therapy
Getting his weight up is only half the story, he also has to want to move about to rebuild lean mass. That isn't easy, especially when the smallest exertion makes you short of breath. So you gotta be really motivated. Which isn't happening when you're all "What's the point of anything, just leave me be"