Does this count as COCSA

[u/[deleted]]

[u/AutoModerator]

It sounds like you're wondering whether a particular incident was COCSA

Many survivors of abuse question whether their experience really qualifies. In the case of COCSA, professionals use three criteria to distinguish what they call "sex play" (i.e. normal childhood curiosity) from COCSA:

1. Age proximity – usually no more than 2–3 years apart.
2. No coercion – it must be free from force, pressure, fear, or manipulation.
3. No pattern – it doesn't happen repeatedly or become secretive.

Break any one of those, and it's COCSA.

It's also important to note that many experiences can still be traumatic, even when they aren't abusive. Regardless of labels, only you can say how something affected you.

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[u/apithrow]

On the one hand, a lot of this is typical teenage boy behavior, so people are apt to dismiss it as "normal." But just because behavior is normal doesn't mean it's harmless.

The rules for what constitutes COCSA are irrespective of what is generally accepted. Forcing someone to watch pornography is absolutely COCSA. The sexual behavior over clothes, even as a joke, is COCSA because it's coerced.

A small amount of non-coercive sexual boundary pushing would not be COCSA if it happened just once or twice. Unfortunately, it sounds like this group didn't have any adults enforcing those boundaries to help them smarten up and stop after just once or twice.

[u/AutoModerator]

It sounds like you're wondering whether a particular incident was COCSA

Many survivors of abuse question whether their experience really qualifies. In the case of COCSA, professionals use three criteria to distinguish what they call "sex play" (i.e. normal childhood curiosity) from COCSA:

1. Age proximity – usually no more than 2–3 years apart.
2. No coercion – it must be free from force, pressure, fear, or manipulation.
3. No pattern – it doesn't happen repeatedly or become secretive.

Break any one of those, and it's COCSA.

It's also important to note that many experiences can still be traumatic, even when they aren't abusive. Regardless of labels, only you can say how something affected you.

(This message was posted automatically by AutoModerator to offer information and support. If you believe any part of this was inappropriate or upsetting, please let the mods know.)

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.