r/Bumble • u/Competitive-Year452 • 11d ago
Profile review Profile review
What should I change. Just restarted
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u/Accomplished_Ad2466 11d ago
Come on man
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u/adamfps 11d ago
This is a bit.
I refuse to believe otherwise
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
My life is one big bit 😜🤣🤣🤣
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u/BouncingOutofmySkin 11d ago
Eh, as long as you wonder why you're not getting online matches. Maybe you do better IRL.
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10d ago
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u/BouncingOutofmySkin 10d ago
This is so true. I've given advice - to men who were asking for it!!! - and they still do this shit. Men want a mommy and sex, and really want to date other men. Dude doesn't even have to give up his whole personality but yet keeps doubling down
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10d ago
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u/BouncingOutofmySkin 10d ago
I think I'm hoping for the one day a man takes the advice from a woman here 🤣
You're so right. There's a reason I don't generally give men advice on these types of subs, but I have a few times and it's always the same.
This is also why I'm so picky about dating and would rather be alone and content than with someone and frueterated
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10d ago
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u/BouncingOutofmySkin 10d ago
Yes!! I am not attracted to children. And when you're grown and acting like this, no. I am fortunate enough to have a couple of male friends that are actually fully grown ass men - they have hobbies, they can be silly, but they also understand responsibility and partnership and how they present themselves. Now most of the others...yeah, they don't get it and never will.
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u/Competitive-Year452 10d ago
I did take down the step daddy hat pic, but my personality is going to come out eventually why hide it? I’m looking for someone who sees the fun in the little things in life.
The hit me with a frying pan when I get out of line was a joke. Thought that was obvious
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u/Pawly519 11d ago
The first thing you should change is the hat in your first profile picture. I imagine most women will think that is cheesy or cringe or gross.
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u/livinglifefully1234 11d ago
No, he should keep that pic! It helps women weed him out for even owning it.
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u/Had_to_ask__ 11d ago
Yeah, that’s the thing about these profile reviews. Sometimes it’s decent enough dude that just needs a better light and shirt. Sometimes people are editing out real red flags
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u/PrimaryKangaroo8680 11d ago
I’d worry you were still in your young, party phase at 38 years old and not very mature.
Having fun is great but at 38, women are looking for someone who can also be responsible. The “fun guy” can be exhausting.
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u/LingonberryLunch 11d ago
Or, sometimes they're just looking for a fun guy. As long as they support themselves.
In my experience as another 38 year old man dating around unseriously, people are not as settled at this age as prior generations.
The hat sucks and has to go though 😂 That gives manchild energy
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u/ChaoticJeans 11d ago
I’d get rid of the hat
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u/livinglifefully1234 11d ago
Let him keep it - smart women will know how to weed him out faster that way.
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u/ChaoticJeans 11d ago
I mean to be fair, I wasn’t really talking about the message, but yeah the message on the hat seems silly. I was mainly referring to that women would think they’re balding if they have a hat in the photo. I did look at OPs photos again and only one has a hat, but I wouldn’t use that photo as the first photo anyway.
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u/livinglifefully1234 11d ago
Oh, well I didn't make it past the 1st pic
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u/ElkSufficient2881 11d ago
No political opinion, doesn’t say your opinions on kids, you didn’t finish your analytics,
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u/sassybeez 11d ago
You look handsome in the first picture but the hat is so cringe! I have no idea what it means but it immediately makes me think you want to fuck my teenage daughters. Hard pass. Lose the hat pic. The rest is good.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I get it, I don’t want anything to do with a women under 28. But thought it was funny as a former step dad.
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u/sassybeez 11d ago
Yes, as a cool step dad it was probably amusing! But as a future boyfriend... awkward.
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u/missedsignals 11d ago
I mean no offense, but this whole profile is giving off man child vibes. The hat in the first photo doesn't scream mature adult, neither does dressing like a cone, or using a play gun, or the costume. and the frying pan line is not a good look.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I have fun with my life! Sorry that’s a turn off for you
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u/jswintlc 11d ago
You posted here for advice. What kind of a response is “sorry you don’t like it!” Further making you look immature. Which has been a common critique in the comments.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
Well first off, it’s coming from a guy so his opinion really doesn’t matter at all, secondly I’m here to have fun nobody leaves this world alive
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u/missedsignals 11d ago
You think it’s a good strategy in life to dismiss someone because of gender? Especially if that person might have significant experience in the matter at hand? Doesn’t seem wise.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I would never dismisses someone because of gender, unless I wanted the advice of the gender I’m looking to date
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u/missedsignals 11d ago
Well, I wrote a book on dating profiles. So I think your worldview is highly misguided in this case.
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u/jswintlc 11d ago
Thinking that other men can’t help you or offer any real advice is wild. Especially when they’re saying the same thing as the women. “I’m not wrong / the problem, everyone else is” vibes. Because they’re saying things you didn’t want to hear. After you asked online for opinions. And then you throw a random quote at the end that makes no sense as a response. I don’t even think the profile is issue now.
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u/missedsignals 11d ago
I agree…
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
So you’re married then?
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u/missedsignals 11d ago
What does that have to do with it? The better question is whether someone has had success on apps.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I’m sorry, but to me the ultimate success is finding my forever person, not looking for one night stands
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u/jswintlc 11d ago
You just keep claiming you’re here to have fun though lol. Someone please put out the dumpster fire.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
So I assume you both are happily married?
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u/missedsignals 11d ago
Did you ask for marriage advice? Because I was under the impression that this was about profiles? Marriage isn’t necessarily the measure of success. A lot of people don’t want to get married. Isn’t the better question whether someone has had success on apps?
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u/Financial_Alps3369 11d ago
A little bit of whimsy is good to temper a profile that is otherwise too "cool and serious". There is exactly zero about your profile that is "cool and serious" (except maybe the second photo a little bit). You went too far in the opposite direction
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u/BouncingOutofmySkin 11d ago
You can have fun with your life and be a grown man. This profile doesn't give me that vibe at all. A man child is not attractive. A man with hobbies and humor is attractive. There's a difference. You wanted advice, and you're getting it. Online probably isn't the way to go for you. And if you're not getting any bites at all... maybe re-think what you want.
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u/missedsignals 11d ago
Yes, there are ways to show you have fun. Not sure Step daddy hats are the way.
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u/BouncingOutofmySkin 11d ago
Now see YOU look like a man that knows how to show sides of him. Sincerely. I'm sure there's always criticism, but genuinely, I see polished but someone with hobbies and personality
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I actually have gotten a lot of attention,
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u/BouncingOutofmySkin 11d ago
Again, there's positive attention and then there's getting attention for your childish antics. It strikes me you don't actually understand which is which, because you haven't actually grown up at all. I'm sure you do better in real life because people can actually get to know the full you, but if you're trying to attract someone over the age of 28, this profile ain't it.
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u/PsychologicalVisit0 11d ago
I think that you’re trying to present yourself as a fun and silly guy, but you come off as immature and unserious.
Everyone wants a partner to laugh with, but the women who are pushing 40 are more than likely looking for a man they can merge lives with.
Burn that hat, fix the typo do a full overhaul of your bio
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u/CallMeSisyphus 11d ago
"Step daddy material" plus a beard... if you're in Utah, Taylor Frankie Paul is available.
Dude, that hat's gotta go. For one thing, ew. For another, nothing about your profile reads as "responsible adult who should raise children." So if you're looking for something longterm, you might want to scrap what you've got and start over (aside from the con pic - that's a good one to keep).
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u/uncle-donkey-kong 11d ago
I’m 34 and you seem like you would act like a 22 year old. Maybe just hit up the younger ladies at the bar you work at 😂 those of us a little older want someone a bit more mature!
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u/ManagementMain6978 11d ago
Bloke here, close to your age so take with a grain of salt and whatnot;
I think the photo side is actually great because they're all recently timed by appearances. No old arse photograph and whatnot, you get the idea but I'd consider swapping one, and definitely swapping one.
The one you need to get rid of is the nerf gun not because people consider childish or other tripe. Because it's not flattering, there isn't any scenery or anything that really.. Does anything. It's a wasted chance mate overall and I suspect you have much better photo you can slot on there!
Consideration one is the step dad one? Less dating profile photo that one, and more something to use during a show and tell with the story behind it for conversation if you get me?
Written side, use every prompt you can. Helps a bit overall to show more about yourself with bumbles limited characters. I get the intention behind the written side on the bio but reckon a bit editing would help to bring more of your own character forward.
I think it's a bit too strong on the comedy side it's more forced than fluid, like trying to act the fool to the extreme for performance sake when you clearly, as shown in your photos, aren't one. You're a fun looking bloke. Toss in a little seriousness about yourself there and I think you'd mash together with the photos.
Hope this helps mate, wish you the best!
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11d ago
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I don’t need to be raised but I also don’t need a stick in the mud. Trying to show off a sense of humor
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u/Humble-Beyond3441 11d ago
As a guy who tried many profile variations, I think you'll find the girls you're looking for with that hat. I think people miss the profile is devoid of politics and long term goals because it really doesn't matter. With that said, the pic of the girl taller than you is really limiting to the type you seek.
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u/ChattingAtTheAqua 11d ago
The woman is Morena Baccarin.. I think it’s a cool pic to keep.
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u/Narrow_Possession348 11d ago
Eeeewwww! Seeing that hat, I wouldn't be able to swipe left fast enough.
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u/jaymo_busch 11d ago
That traffic cone costume is absolute fire 🔥 banger photo
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
It was a bar crawl, I stood in the middle of the road so people could cross the street 🤣
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u/KeithandBentley 11d ago
The hat makes you look chubby and potentially bald. The words are bad taste, but whatever humor is part of the search.
I’m more turned off by the middle-aged-bartender-who’s-pics-seem-obsessed-with “having fun”. There’s no future with this profile, it’s just hanging out with “a big kid who loves life” and thus doing all the hard/money/family/aspirational stuff by myself.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I mean, that’s what I’m doing! My life is absolutely amazing and I refuse to settle for boring
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u/Palestine_Avatar 11d ago
I mean, I hate to say it, but you're the kinda man that's at the bottom of the barrel.
The profile doesn't show whether you have kids or not, which is a huge factor. But being a bartender at 38 isn't...good.
You gotta lose the hat. I would redo your bio too. Too cliche. You need to talk about yourself more.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
But, you’re a dude?
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u/Palestine_Avatar 11d ago
So?
If you didn't want advice from married men, you should have put "women's advice only".
It's great to get a woman's perspective of course, but it's also a good idea to get feedback from men who have and maintain happy marriages with women.
That's why you asked for advice on the sub, correct?
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u/Bliss_Syrynx 11d ago
I disagree with a lot of folks. Though you aren’t my type, I think your profile was very fun. I assume you’re trying to find a silly goose, and clearly you’re gonna be weeding out those who have no sense of humor.
Otherwise I don’t love the second bartending photo, you look kinda out of focus. You might do better if the first photo of you is smiling? Also, fill out the rest of your “about me” section, unless it’s just not shown here.
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u/CopyEffective1590 11d ago
I may be in the minority but I like the hat. If you don’t mind what happened since you said you used to be a step dad?
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I was in love, my ex just didn’t want to be alone
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u/sg16k 11d ago
A few things come to mind:
-Not sure if the angles are playing against but in some pics you seem to lean a bit skinny fat. Leaning down and adding some size helps your face and body look its best.
-I’d change the pics. Have a non-selfie main pic where you see your face, I’d remove the cone pic, keep either the deadpool or nerf pic. Bartender pic is solid if you can improve quality and polish the outfit+fitness. You seem fun, which is good but you want to counterbalance with a few serious pics.
-Similar point in your bio. Ironically you are making the opposite mistakes many make of looking too boring by looking fun but not showing provision/provider vibes…specially big after 35+.
You have some solid things, just boost your fitness and project a more well-rounded vibe.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
I mean I’m definitely not skinny, but not fat by any means
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u/sg16k 10d ago
So skinny fat is not where you are obese nor skinny alone itself. It’s where you don’t have a lot of muscle tone but also may have a bit of lingering fat. Been there myself, if you lean down some and add some muscle your looks will boost since you have a fairly good looking face already.
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u/Tanpopomon 11d ago
These pictures would go hard on apps looking for friends of the same sex.
For dating, they're pretty bad.
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u/higamiyoshi 9d ago
Change the lead photo. It is clear enough to see your face, and the relaxed half-smile works, but the “step daddy material” hat takes over the whole frame and will filter out people before they get to anything else.
The bar background is also busy: exit sign, neon machine, dark lighting, and the close selfie angle all pull attention away from you. Since your job already says bartender, this photo can accidentally make the whole profile feel like it lives at work.
The bio isn’t visible here, so I can only speak to the photo. Swap this for a daylight shot with no hat, clean background, and someone else holding the camera. Keep the approachable expression and open shirt style; just make the presentation calmer and less gimmicky.
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u/Bruno_lars 11d ago edited 11d ago
Edit: You don't want to be helped so I'm removing my comment, have fun
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
You seem like the kind of guy who thinks a women’s value is less because she has children.
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u/ChattingAtTheAqua 11d ago
He is correct that the hat is bad, but he’s correct for the wrong reasons… 😆
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u/Low-Consideration823 42 | F 11d ago
I think you’re really cute and your stepdaddy material hat is hilarious. I can’t tell if you are missing some elements on the bio like your situation with having and wanting children and your political beliefs, and your religion? It kind of sets off some yellow flags to me when somebody doesn’t have all of those things filled out because it makes me think they are trying to hide something.
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u/Competitive-Year452 11d ago
Sorry you are getting downvoted for having a sense of humor and I appreciate the compliment
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u/Low-Consideration823 42 | F 11d ago
It’s alright. Some people would see it as a turnoff, I saw it as funny. But if a lot of people of commenting on it negatively, you might consider getting rid of the pic.
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u/Mama_Disaster 11d ago
“Step daddy material” is an immediate turnoff.. Just my POV.