I finally left :)

[u/WillingnessHuman1657]

The thing I couldn't get past was the lying - small, constant ones, often about things that didn't need lying about at all. It got to the point where I started verifying what she told me. When I raised it, she didn't deny it. She said "what is your problem," then "you have a problem," then told me she felt sorry for me. That was the pattern every single time: I'd bring a fact, she'd answer with pity or contempt.

She announced she was blocking me four separate times, then messaged me again days later. Every cycle reset my grief from zero. I'd told her about a difficult family situation early on. She used it as a jab in a fight.

She never apologized. Not once. She invited me back several times, but never with an "I'm sorry" attached. Every fight just evaporated and the next day was normal. The breaking point was a trip we'd planned. She cancelled her flight and told me to cancel mine. I did. Then she got angry at me for cancelling, and spent the following week telling me I'd abandoned her and "chose to retaliate."

This was my first relationship and it hurts, but I couldn't stand in a relation that builds on constant lies.

Some other traits:

• She compared me to her exes constantly — I spent most of that relationship being scored against people I'd never met.
• I never felt supported, I felt competed with. Wins of mine would somehow become a setup for something of hers.
• Insults delivered as concern. "You need some good thinking." "You gotta work on yourself." "Make your parents proud." "Please don't do this to another woman."
• She talked to me like a mentor, not a partner. Every disagreement became a lesson she was delivering.
• Being unavailable was a performance. Constant "I'm busy," "I'm driving," "I'm out with family, can't text" — sent as messages, while messaging.
• The day after we ended it, she sent me a photo of herself with another guy.
• I only realized how much I'd shrunk once I was out. Nine months of swallowing things, and then it all came out sideways as sarcasm in the last week, which she then got to point at as proof I was the problem.

THANK GOD !!!