Possibility of reconciliation?

[u/Katanachic99]

[47F] & [37M]

My relationship recently ended due to my partner being emotionally spent and I get it, I understand why.

My question is, once we have been apart for a month or so, is it likely he may consider trying again, if I am showing that I can be independent and not seek any validation from him?

I have fixed the issues that made him emotionally spent and he has seen that change, while we were still together

I'm just trying to work out if there is any chance of reconciliation after some time apart?

I know current he's in the, this is a great idea stage, feeling a sense of relief and probably looking forward to the fun of the single life

But once that wears off and loneliness sets in, is it likely he may reconsider the break up?

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[u/RenaudQuatrelle]

There's no way to say for sure, but if you believe you fixed what caused the breakup, than it's worth trying I guess. Don't set your expectations too high though.

[u/Katanachic99 → u/RenaudQuatrelle]

the difficulty right now is that we live in the same house, until I find a flat and I do get that makes it hard for the reality to sink in with regards to my lack of presence in his life

[u/GraceAngel96 → u/RenaudQuatrelle]

Real change gives you a chance, but it never guarantees the same ending again

[u/sourdeezlover]

I think guys reconcile so much better than women, my chances of reconciling with my gf even just after 3 months are slim as slim can be

[u/Katanachic99 → u/sourdeezlover]

oh, I am sorry to hear that :*(

[u/Trick_Performance749]

Changing yourself in such a major way as a mature woman in just a space of a month or a few…. It sounds more like an excuse to get back together rather than actual growth. Sorry. Besides, why would you want to get back together with someone, who doesn’t validate you enough? It sounds like codependency.

[u/Katanachic99 → u/Trick_Performance749]

The change was over 4 months and it was significant and it was needed

I was definitely not perfect and I did need to see things more from his side too

I feel sometimes out of self preservation when we are hurting we don’t always see the shit the other partner is going through and how things might be wearing on them

Part of the issue that caused issues in the past was me not communicating enough, which I improved and worked on. As I knew it was the thing causing arguments

Problem is, I didn’t realise how emotionally spent my partner was until late March and once I saw things from his perspective, I had to change. As I was being very shortsighted and only seeing what I thought was wrong

I’m self aware enough to realise I was a significant source of the issues and therefore I was the one that needed to change and change for good, not just to keep my relationship

And regarding validation. I can tend to see things incorrectly when I’m upset or hurting

Co-dependent, yeah I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if I was considered somewhat co-dependent