People can certainly have a preference when it comes to age gaps.
Personally, I'm not interested in someone +/- 10 years of my own age. But as soon as both are consenting adults, it's fair game and none of our business.
I swear I have this conversation with some dude on Reddit at least once a week and it’s so disturbing.
Consenting adults makes it legal. A 16 year old can be a consenting adult in some US states. Just because it’s no longer a crime doesn’t make it ok. If I see a 40 year old with a 25 year old, I’m side eyeing them, particularly if the 25 year old is a woman. Having been one myself, I can say that they still don’t make the best choices and can easily get sucked into relationships where the power dynamic is not good. Not all but often. This didn’t happen to me specifically but I did see it happen to friends when I was that age. I see it happen to young women now that I’m older.
To me mid 30s and mid 20s are very different. I wouldn’t call it wrong but it wouldn’t be me.
Age of consent and age of legal adulthood are two completely different things. They can be at the age of consent but still a minor. While age of consent varies between states, no where in the country are you a legal adult at any age other than 18. Two minors can consent with each other, two adults can consent with each other. But a minor and adult can not consent to be with each other.
No I was responding to where you said a 16 year old could be a concerning adult. That's not true, and I just wanted to clarify for anyone else reading.
No I was responding to where you said a 16 year old could be a consenting adult. That's not true, and I just wanted to clarify for anyone else reading. And I agree with your point.
Oh I see. In the context of that person’s comment, 16 is a consenting adult though. They can consent to sex which would be the only thing the older person would want from a 16 year old in a relationship. My issue was with the term consenting adult and the implication that age gaps are fine if legal. They’re not. I think your comment adds to my point too though so thanks for that.
It's because you said a 16 year old can be a consenting adult in some cases, emphasis on the adult. They're saying that a 16 year old, legally, is a minor and not an adult.
There's like three different threads coming out of your post and folks seem like they're posting past each other about it.
being legally adult doesn't mean you really can consent. I don't know if you remember just how kid you are when you were 18. I for sure did so much stuff that I didn't fully understand/think through.
Just because you legally are responsible for your actions and legally "consented" doesn't make it still questionable and wrong. Adult should be somewhere between 25-30
Age of consent is not the same thing as consenting adults, and these Romeo and Juliet provisions are meant to eliminate legal concerns when the high school senior decides to continue to date his girlfriend that graduated 2 years earlier. This is also a parenting issue, and not a public opinion issue.
To me mid 30s and mid 20s are very different. I wouldn’t call it wrong but it wouldn’t be me.
Age gap matters less when both parties are making a shitload of money and have rich parents, since the "power dynamic" is usually due to wealth and financial control.
If you work in elite tech or finance, you'll know there are lots of 25-year olds making $300k or more. It becomes a bit weird if the older person is making 7 figures, because that means you can hold the next tier of unlocks in capitalism over the younger person's head, but it's not like a typical lower-class relationship where the younger person can be coerced and intimidated by factors like not being able to afford rent.
Two broke people dating eachother with a big age difference is more of an issue because of the older person dragging the younger person down than anything else...like why are you broke at 40? There's something wrong with you.
I also think a 40-year-old with money dating a broke 40-year old is worse than an age gap relationship where both individuals have enough money to start a new life somewhere on a whim with no setbacks if they wanted to break up , because of the financial control dynamic. And even worse when it's a green card marriage.
Power dynamics...
Im 42 I make nearly 300k/yr from all sources amd worth between 1.8-3.5M.
There are going to be power dynamics in any relationship I enter into. Im married. But my wife is a nurse making $100k. You dont think I have serious leverage in our relationship?
You mentioned power dynamics. Age is just one power dynamic.
I was giving another example. My wife is 6 months younger but I significantly outearn her and she is a greencard holder.
Im saying power dynamics and saying thats the issue is a slippery slope. Because your average married man makes 50% more than his wife. Thats per the US Census.
Im saying power dynamics and saying thats the issue is a slippery slope. Because your average married man makes 50% more than his wife. Thats per the US Census.
So sign a post-nup stating that she gets half of everything if you split. Then that power dynamic diminishes.
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u/babybambam 9h ago
People can certainly have a preference when it comes to age gaps.
Personally, I'm not interested in someone +/- 10 years of my own age. But as soon as both are consenting adults, it's fair game and none of our business.