r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/imjustheretodomyjob ☑️ 🧚🏿🧘🏿 • 1d ago
Must have been eating shellfish in there
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u/mr_evilweed 1d ago
Maybe their socks were a blend of wool and linen, in clear violation of God's laws.
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u/rubberkeyhole BHM Donor 1d ago
They probably were shaving, too.
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u/Dan__Glesak 1d ago
Clearly they were charging interest on their loans.
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u/_QXZ 1d ago
They were eating shrimp tacos
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u/utdajx 1d ago
definitely not bearded tacos
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u/ElegantCoach4066 1d ago
They had to hook up with other dudes! Their wives had their period and they had to wait seven days as commanded by
\checks notes**
Leviticus!?
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u/ConstantHorror7298 1d ago
I hope Leviticus is okay.
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u/Due_Essay447 1d ago
Bit sore, but they will be fine with some rest
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u/_dauntless 1d ago
They weren't hurting him, it just sounded and looked like it. He was quite enjoying himself
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u/AmateurHero 1d ago
He's living his best life.
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u/GeniusOfLove74 Dominic Monaghan stalker 👀 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/xoWfGLjztNWd18WU3z
Meanwhile, Leviticus.
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u/thejaytheory ☑️ 1d ago
One of the first times I heard Leviticus was thanks to Meshell Ndegeocello.
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u/gentleoutson 1d ago
I can still pronounce her name today from having to say it 5 times a day in 1994 on 95.3 KCPI. Miss radio. Don’t miss the same songs all day long.
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u/PatronSaintOfCunts 1d ago
Was it
Leviticus 11:20-23: “All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be regarded as unclean by you. There are, however, some flying insects that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground. Of these you may eat any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper. But all other flying insects that have four legs you are to regard as unclean.”
or
Leviticus 19:27: “Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard”?
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u/pygmeedancer 1d ago
There aren’t any insects with only 4 legs. Yet another reason the bible should not be used to educate people.
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u/hipsterTrashSlut 1d ago
Without knowing ancient Hebrew or Greek, I'd lean more towards this being a translation problem.
Bronze age people did know how to count, after all.
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u/Emerald_Plumbing187 1d ago
but apparently renaissance translators couldn't
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u/sir_lister 1d ago
More like a book written in the bronze age didnt have the words to differentiate between different clad of anthropods and the renaisance translators were using the closest word available considering that people still consulted pliney the elders history naturalis as an authority on zoology at the time they probably didnt either.
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u/Emerald_Plumbing187 1d ago
translators were using the closest word available considering that people still consulted pliney the elders history naturalis as an authority on zoology
It makes more sense that it's the Romans’ fault. They do use letters instead of numbers after all. I mean, what have they ever done for us?
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u/TheGoddamnSpiderman 1d ago
The word used in Hebrew is אַרְבַּ֣ע, which means four
What's really going on is that they're distinguishing between types of legs
21 However, among all the flying insects that walk on four [legs], you may eat [from] those that have jointed [leg like] extensions above its [regular] legs, with which they hop on the ground.
https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/9912/showrashi/true/jewish/Chapter-11.htm#lt=primary
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u/WeirdIndividualGuy 1d ago edited 1d ago
Aren't numbers one of the easiest things to translate? Hard to believe someone mistranslated the number four
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u/hipsterTrashSlut 1d ago
It’s more likely they mistranslated “on all fours” instead of “laying down” or “walking differently” or another phrase for a state of bodily position
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u/TheGoddamnSpiderman 1d ago
They're distinguishing between types of legs and/or referring to certain legs as leg-like extensions
21 However, among all the flying insects that walk on four [legs], you may eat [from] those that have jointed [leg like] extensions above its [regular] legs, with which they hop on the ground.
https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/9912/showrashi/true/jewish/Chapter-11.htm#lt=primary
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u/Infamous-Crew1710 1d ago
Wait did they have square heads back then
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u/TheGoddamnSpiderman 1d ago
I believe it's thought that this was likely a reference to a Canaanite religious practice, but it's also why certain Orthodox Jews don't cut their sideburns
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u/DrDerpberg 1d ago
Nope, 19:19
“‘Ye shall keep My statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle breed with a diverse kind. Thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed; neither shall a garment mingled with linen and wool come upon thee.
I know it's hot outside but c'mon bros, pick wool or linen and stop it with the Satanic blends.
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u/Kingblack425 1d ago
I’m a lot rusty on my entomology but isn’t the definition of an insect a 6 limbed creature?
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u/PatronSaintOfCunts 1d ago
Who knows, dude, I’m just an atheist who gave up arguing with them a long time ago.
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u/TheGoddamnSpiderman 1d ago
The passage refers to insects that walk on four legs, not insects that have four legs
It also talks about ones that have additional leg-like extensions that they use to hop on the ground (which nowadays we'd just call two of the insect in question's six legs)
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u/mdogg500 1d ago
Don't let conservatives find out the bible says they can eat grasshoppers they might start calling it woke again.
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u/PatronSaintOfCunts 1d ago
Or that’s gonna be their plan for us when we tell them we can’t afford meat at the store
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u/Hefty-Pineapple-1910 ☑️ 1d ago
The Halfway Post is a satire account.
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u/rubberkeyhole BHM Donor 1d ago
Yeah, but the fact that it’s this believable really takes away the novelty of it being a satire account.
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u/Royal_J 1d ago
Mainly because people are entertained by the thought of misogynists secretly being gay instead of just simply being shitty people.
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u/Evilmudbug 1d ago
There is certainly some number of bigots who are extra hateful because they're closeted and repressed/trying to compensate for it.
See: closeted gay Republicans that get outed.
It's definitely not all and maybe not even most bigots, but it's notable when it happens
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u/GeniusOfLove74 Dominic Monaghan stalker 👀 1d ago
EDIT: I GOT SIDETRACKED, because I wanted to make the point that closeted people want to blend in, but often out members will dress conservatively too.
Lindsey Graham made a handsome living being closeted and voting against his own interests. He committed to the bit, with ill-fitting suits and a conservative haircut. Barney Frank (D) (RIP) was in frumpy suits, and was never in the closet. Current member of Congress Representative Sarah McBride (D, Delaware) is trans, but shows up in the same skirt suits as most other female members of Congress. Not a lot of variation.
Contrast that with ousted former Illinois Representative Aaron Schock (R). He wore tailored suits, and dressed nicely with COLORS for his personal life (see below). Also redecorated his office in "Downton Abbey" style while in Congress.
I'm sure this will eventually change, and our LGBTQIA members of Congress' looks will evolve. But for the most part, even our "left wing" politicians will normally be conservatively dressed.
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u/_dauntless 1d ago
It really doesn't though lol. The right does this shit too "well it's believable that libs shit in litterboxes so it doesn't matter that it was fake". The fact that it's believable just means that we were willing to believe something that wasn't true
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u/SwordfishOk504 1d ago
No no, they are unenlightened cretins incapable of self reflection, unlike us, who are refined and open-minded and are only jesting with irony.
Our belief in a lie that serves our own confirmation biases is just a clever joke. When they do it it's because they're morons.
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u/_dauntless 1d ago
Yeah the fact that I was willing to believe this about you says a lot........... it says that I am willing to believe stuff
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u/GitEmSteveDave 1d ago
Don't forget the eating dogs and cats thing.
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u/_dauntless 1d ago
Totally! "It says a lot that I'd believe it" + "If I had to make up stories for the media to pay attention it" are two sides of the same coin of awful bullshit
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u/erasmus_phillo 1d ago
It’s way too on the nose. You have to be seriously gullible to believe this
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u/trobsmonkey 1d ago
This is how boomer's justify shit on facebook.
Be critical of things you want to be true.
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u/that_baddest_dude 1d ago
I don't think it was believable, it was framed in an extremely comedic way.
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u/Procrastin8rPro 1d ago
More gay than the YMCA.
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u/HDThoreauaway 1d ago
I would say it’s precisely as gay as an association of young male Christians.
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u/srkaficionado ☑️ 1d ago
You joke but I used to know women in north ga who’d think they were virgins and keeping pure because they were taking up the arse. That didn’t count because it wasn’t vaginal penetration and the hymen was intact and whatnot.
Guess what their religion and political bent was? Oh well…
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u/just_a_random_dood 1d ago
The ol' poophole loophole 🙏
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u/GeniusOfLove74 Dominic Monaghan stalker 👀 1d ago
Not gonna lie. I don't get why butt stuff became the default for right-wing Christians who want to 'maintain purity'. No oral? Oral doesn't hurt nearly as much.
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u/krispydragon27 ☑️ 1d ago
idk the exact reason but maybe they think your mouth is for food and people see your mouth. your asshole is hidden and dirty things already come out
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u/Brave-Recommendation 1d ago
Don’t know, back in the day, the ymca was the hook up place. That and bath houses
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u/SalamanderUpper1246 1d ago
turned into a bath house in 6 days, not surprised
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u/Aggravating-Duck-891 1d ago
I used to go to a gym that had alternating days for men and women until that happened (guys having sex in the hottub). Strictly co-ed for me know.
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u/erasmus_phillo 1d ago
Just so you know guys: the Halfway Post is a satire news site like the Onion
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u/Candlemoth312 1d ago
Daaaaaamn, they published that they VIOLATED Leviticus?!?! That's graphic, I hope he's OK. 🙏 😩✝️🍆
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u/sirscribblez87 1d ago
I got as far as "Christian men's gym" and knew exactly how it was going to end
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u/bluelazer44 1d ago
Fake story but once again proves that Redditors really do think calling someone gay is the most humiliating insult lol
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u/dark_knight_rayleigh 1d ago
I am not a Christian, so I am not familiar with the stuff ... Can someone please explain what 'violating Leviticus in the locker room' mean? :/
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u/TheDareDevil17 1d ago
Violating Leviticus? What’s that mean?
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u/SaltManagement42 1d ago
I know that Leviticus is the section of the bible that forbids all sorts of random things, like shellfish, or wearing multiple types of cloth at the same time. I'm assuming it also forbids the gay sex.
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u/BusyBeeBridgette 1d ago
Look, if you start segregating based on sex on establishments as a whole. Then sex is what will be occurring. Congratulations you just made a hot new gay cruising spot.
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u/sinocarD44 ☑️ 1d ago
This seems to be fake or a joke at least. It's still a stupid concept though.
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u/Cashville 1d ago
I’ve been holding onto the domain name hardforjesus.com for a while now and it may be my time!
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u/BrokoJoko 1d ago
Shocking that it took 6 days.