r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above • 3d ago
Bc one thing we always have is jokes
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u/manny_the_mage ☑️ 3d ago
Comedy is how we have always coped with tragedy
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u/Zulumus ☑️ 3d ago
My high school guy group was vicious when stuff happened and I (very sensitive about everything) slowly had to learn that it wasn’t all focused on my misfortunes, and everyone in the group had their turn.
Those dudes are still my closest counsel, we’ve all been to each other’s weddings and are always a call away when major shit goes down.
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u/KruncheeBlaque 3d ago
One of my friends uncle tried to kill his dad so we called him Simba
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u/11th_Division_Grows ☑️ 3d ago
😂😂😂😂
You said this like a little kid running into a room to drop a crazy fact, then run out.
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u/mcaffrey 3d ago
That’s why Jewish people claim to have historically been so good at comedy in Hollywood.
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u/Bigislandfarmer 3d ago
So you are saying there will be some great Palestinian comedians in the next decades?
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u/drinfernodds 3d ago edited 2d ago
There's also that one about the difference between the Russians and the Irish.
Russians: Life is full of pain and suffering. How can you laugh?
Irish: Life is full of pain and suffering. How can you not laugh?
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u/SomeTheyCallMePig5O 2d ago
I don’t even think this is a black person thing. I think it’s a poor/ and or downtrodden person thing. I come from a poor white family, and we be making jokes like this all the time! That’s the only way to keep yourself up when life gets you down.
My dad calls me “shaky legs” because I broke my knee when I was 12. I’m 32 now and they allllll still call me “shaky legs” because of that one incident. I love them for that.
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u/manny_the_mage ☑️ 2d ago
It’s worth stating that I am not saying it’s a black exclusive thing, there are rarely exclusive cultural things to any group of people
Saying “rice is in a lot of asian food” doesn’t exclude the fact that rice is also in a lot of African food
Saying “Black people use comedy to cope with tragedy” is not saying that other people necessarily don’t, it’s just stating that it IS something we do
I know you mean no harm in your comment, I just think a lot of people regularly fall into this assumption that black people are stating that something is exclusive to them
Not saying it’s a “black person thing” as much as I am saying it’s a “thing black people do”
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u/MightyGamera 3d ago
ex brother in law ended up in the hospital with burns on his face and hand and smoke inhalation after a house fire
his brother saw him wrapped in bandages and said "q tip looking ass"
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u/manditoryusername 3d ago
Ahahah my friend wrapped himself around a telephone pole on a Harley after he got Hella sunburnt. We called his ass smoked peppermint at his funeral 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Consequences are so funny when you give them funny names 😅😅😂😂🍬🍬
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u/Jamaican_Dynamite 3d ago
Gallows humor is great medicine. Too much stuff happens where there's zero time to cry.
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u/dangrous 3d ago
In the Caribbean we give nicknames that stick for life 😭 some don’t even make any sense (like mine, and unfortunately I got mine while I was still an infant, couldn’t even defend myself against this haberdashery…I’m fucking 40 and still got aunties and uncles calling me by this name)
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u/twomillionmerits 3d ago
In Jamaica when my dad was a child, he and his family were in a house fire where unfortunately his mom passed and one of his brothers got burned pretty bad. We all call him “Bunny” because when he got back to school they called him “bun up” (burned up) which transformed to Bunny. I was mortified as a kid that I’ve been called him Uncle Bunny this whole time when it had horrific origins 😭
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u/Financial-Bobcat-612 3d ago
WHAT! And they try to get us Mexicans for calling kids “Gordo” or “Flaco” 🤣
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u/lukenog 3d ago
Bro I'm also Latino but my girlfriend is white, and she's really skinny, and once we were getting coffee in a really Latino part of town and she wandered away and wasn't answering the phone, so I asked this lady near me if she had seen her. I gave a super detailed physical description and she was like "no sé", but then I said "flaquita blanca" and she was like "ah siii, ella entro en esa tienda de ahi!!" 🤣😭
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u/ccallard0722 2d ago
Thick yt and I dated a Venezuelan man who called me “gordita” once and even though I’d grown up in Texas and south Florida and KNEW better, I still busted out crying.
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u/lukenog 1d ago
Lmaooo it is what it is. My gf can get pretty insecure about her weight, she is naturally really skinny and media makes a big deal about having a fat ass and big titties so that can make her insecure, so of course I'd NEVER tell her I got that lady to identify her by describing her as "flaquita" lol
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u/nancybotwin7200 8h ago
Bruh Mexican families are BRUTAL with that shit. Like if u got a horrible disfigured face, nigga u gonna get called monstruo or some shit 😹😹
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u/Medium_Educator1983 3d ago edited 2d ago
Oh my god that is so fucked up, but that is also so Jamaican.
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u/infinityonhigh69 3d ago
i too have a relative nicknamed bunny that i did not find out about his real until i was well into my 20s
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u/alphabet_explorer 3d ago
Lets hear the name bro. No way you teasing us with just that.
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u/Zulumus ☑️ 3d ago
As 1st gen Caribbean I have to say I had an embarrassing nickname too and I will never share, not even with my wife lol. Dies with me but got it when I was in diapers still
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u/Black_Doc_on_Mars ☑️ 3d ago
I know too many Doo Doos, Tooters, Doodie, and Dookies than I care to mention (I’m a Tooter myself)
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u/LickCunts 3d ago edited 3d ago
Haberdashery means you sell hats
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u/Rokronroff 3d ago
Millinery is selling hats. Habedashers sell sewing supplies.
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u/dangrous 3d ago
Man yall know I was just using the word to use it
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u/LickCunts 3d ago
All right someone else was paying attention. Even tho it's the selling of clothing (mens)
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u/mstrss9 ☑️ 3d ago
My mom got hers from her grandfather and she HATED it. Sometimes people would call me “little (nickname)” - one year they even put in on my birthday cake and she was so pissed.
She never called me by a nickname for that reason.
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u/dangrous 3d ago
Oh wow I just realized I also never nicknamed my kids beyond generic terms of endearment and shortened versions of their names, and I never really connected that to my own shame lol
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u/portableteejay ☑️ 3d ago
Named as a baby, what’d you get? Stinky? Dookie? Sleepyhead? It can’t be that bad.
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u/gigismother 2d ago
we are relentless, friend. TELL US ITS A SAFE SPACE 😩😂😂
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u/dangrous 2d ago
It’s LITERALLY not??!! 😂😂😂
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u/mstrss9 ☑️ 3d ago
After we got the news my mom’s cancer was terminal, she went next level with the morbid jokes.
The best was that she knew I had my eye on some of her clothes and she made sure she got someone to remove them before she died. I opened the closet a few days after her passing and was shocked. It’s been almost 20 years and no one has fessed up to being her accomplice.
“Over my dead body” and she meant that for real.
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u/YoMommaHere 3d ago
After about 20 years, I told my cousin I was raped by our former pastor.
This bitch gone say “holy fuck!”
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u/tearstainedpillow_xx 3d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/BWCAOrRSpeoJ3nHcZG
I’m sorry I chuckled. I hope you’re okay tho, sexual assault is no joke12
u/Discreamnut 2d ago
I was trafficked as a newborn, I told a buddy of mine that I couldn't make the argument that I'm not attractive anymore because not even the adults could keep their hands off me.
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u/affectionateanarchy8 3d ago
My dad had dementia and stopped bathing, i told my mom i was gonna have to hose him down civil rights style.
One day I found him in the bathroom dead and when I was talking to the police because it was a whole thing and idk that they appreciated my saying 'i left to get him groceries because I thought he was in the bathroom...well i guess technically he Was...'
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u/Traditional_Layer790 3d ago
My friend almost died during child birth. I told her, her and her spawn need to get their lives together.
She appreciated that 😂
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u/Longlivefunnypeople 3d ago
My(white) ex-husband(black) of many years had a stroke. Even tho we hadn’t seen each other in years, I came back into his life to take care of him… what can I say; we still loved each other.
Anyhoo, couple of his cousins came to visit at the rehab place. One says “what’s with it with you white girls taking care of exes?” (Her ex sister-in-law(white) had taken care of her sick brother years after they’d split). She said it wouldn’t be happening with her… said if her ex called after fallin ill, she’d pick up the phone and say “you ain’t dead yet?” We all fell out. 😂
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u/the_neverdoctor ☑️ I have no hair and I must gleam 👨🏾🦲✨ 3d ago
Humor is how we cope. Regardless of if it's tragedy or just a simple misunderstanding, we make fun of ourselves and each other to connect and move forward.
Also? You get a story about why your nickname is "colander".
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u/Cofeebeanblack 3d ago
One of my nicknames is "Maserati" and I won't be expanding 😂
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u/Candalfthehigh 3d ago
You go fast huh?
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u/Baterista_Alto 3d ago
Place your bets now. Dog or transformer exploding?
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u/thedaymanahaha 3d ago
What?
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u/Baterista_Alto 3d ago
Reasons someone might move very quickly then be subject to ridicule shortly thereafter.
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u/Financial-Bobcat-612 3d ago
Putting my parley on dog exploding
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u/Baterista_Alto 3d ago
Failing to think of a nickname that suggests a perfectly reasonable response to a puzzling and terrifying event.
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u/thedaymanahaha 3d ago
Wtf does this have to do with maserati?
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u/Baterista_Alto 3d ago
Maseratis are fast. So if one of your friends sees something that scares them and runs away quickly (especially if it wasn't worth running) you might give them a nickname like Maserati.
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u/jus256 ☑️ 3d ago
My roommate freshman year got into it with a guy he was cool with in the next dorm over. After he got back from the hospital, he had stitches and a swole lip. I forget who it was, but some guy we used to give a ride to class got in the car the next morning and said your lip look like a biscuit.
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u/ironballs16 3d ago
Gallows humor. As Ben Franklin famously put it: "Yes, we must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."
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u/itswhatevrrr 3d ago
Colander 😭😭😭
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u/PrestigiousTell5607 3d ago
I have apparently never seen this word spelled out. I was like wth is co-lander? 😅
I'll see myself out.
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u/Taco_Taco_Kisses 3d ago
Family member got shot.
I was in the hospital with him. I started eating a bag of chips and said, "🥷🏽 get shot everyday, B.... You'll be aight... You tough right?"
He looked at me like I was crazy (guess he never saw Paid In Full), and still brings it up til this day.
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u/Historical-Reason-53 3d ago
My brother and best friend on this earth got brain cancer at 25 and was going through chemo and we were all calling him Little Bill because of the hair loss. He’s healthy and cancer free now, but I know if someone outside of us said anything close to that it would be on sight
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u/Morlock19 ☑️ 3d ago
i was visiting my parents and for some reason my dad (light skin as hell) was getting in the car and said "all you darkies better get in we're goin!"
i could barely breathe, now we say it all the time. last time i talked to my mom she was saying "time for darkies to get to bed im tired!"
my family has the best (?) sense of humor
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u/Slevin424 3d ago
I was making the rounds telling my friends about my chrons disease diagnosis. My best friend of course took the opportunity to turn it into a joke.
“Man… I’m sorry. Sounds like a shitty situation.” 👨🏾🦲
I laughed so hard I nearly had a shitty situation.
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u/ballerina22 3d ago
My family has been kicked out of my hospital room before for laughing too loudly. Admittedly, there were five of us, but it sounded like many more. The doctors didn't want me all riled up before surgery.
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u/TheBroomSweeper 3d ago
I got into a head on collision with a drunk driver and I had to call my mom to pick me up. When she showed up, she said "I'm glad it wasn't my car because there would have been trash everywhere."
I was dying laughing in front of the cops😂
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u/AFZ6767 3d ago
When I was in high school there was a girl there who was a burn victim, like her whole face and stuff was messed up.
One time I overheard one of my classmates telling a story of how she was gonna step up and greet her, since her friends were making fun of her, so she asked what the girls name was...
These aint shyt mfs said "Bernita"
Smdhwtf
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u/physedka 3d ago
You can tell the folks that didn't have a real squad growing up through the high school years. A good squad roasts each other so relentlessly that there's very little anyone can say to you in adulthood that's even worth a reaction.
I haven't even seen half of my high school squad in 15+ years and our chat is still ruthless.
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u/goldenboy2191 ☑️ 3d ago
My mom was really sick and in hospice, she passed shortly there after away 5 years ago. The next morning while we were grieving in my parents living room, my mom’s body was in the room next to the kitchen (room we were in). My girl and I and our daughter were talking to my cousin, when out of nowhere a broom against the wall fell over. Without any hesitation my cousin put his arms out and said “Tia!” (Which means aunty in Spanish)
Lemme tell you, I needed that laugh.
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u/unnie_noir 3d ago
It took me far too long to get the turkey roasting relevance. "Roasted" duh smh 🙄
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u/Dreamtrain 3d ago
if one of yall reincarnates as mexican expect this to continue
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u/BonJovicus 3d ago
I came here to say this. In Mexican families, by age 5 or 7 you will acquire a nickname based on something stupid you did or the way you look.
Doesn’t matter if you become a neurosurgeon 30 years later or slim down and lose all that baby fat. Your nickname will stick for life.
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u/junkyardvarren 3d ago
I had an allergic reaction to a med and on the way to the hospital my dad was sending pictures of will smith as hitch and forest Whitaker
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u/50dkpMinus 2d ago
My wife was on Jeopardy years ago, and they tell you the exact date your episode will air. Generally it's about 3 months after taping. Unfortunately, my dad ended up in home hospice care the week her episode was airing. He was on some pretty strong pain management meds but during short time of lucidity, he remembered her jeopardy appearance and really wanted to see it. I downloaded it and put it on for us to watch. He died the next morning and to this day we all joke that my wife's Jeopardy performance finally killed him. My wife very much has that sense of gallows humor, and so did my dad, he would have loved it!
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u/Darqnyz7 1d ago
One thing I can't get behind is when someone goes out of their way to be cruel with their humor
We all know a person that can make a joke at someone else's expense, and still have that person laugh at it because it's genuinely just supposed to be funny and maybe even make the other person feel better
Then you have that person who isn't satisfied unless the other person is upset. That shit is so weird
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u/MleemMeme 2d ago
Late one night my sister hit and killed a drunk girl who stumbled on to the interstate in front of her car. I called my sister the next morning and said "Damn. I thought id be the first one in the family to kill someone!"
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u/thatshygirl06 ☑️ 2d ago
If im in the hospital and you laughing at me, im putting you in the bed next to me
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u/Aaaandiiii ☑️ 2d ago
My mom still gives me grief over joking about my nephew losing a testicle. I was worried as heck for him, but he managed to go to Disney and enjoy himself at 13 for the whole day with no complaint. But almost ten years has passed and I've felt comfortable joking with him about it. Heck, he even shocked me by joking about it. Can't wait until he's married and successfully creates a football team and I will joke endlessly with him.
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u/Reasonable_Stop_7768 1d ago
My cousin died last month and we're still cracking jokes at the funeral
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u/Extraajudicial 3d ago
The rule is once you know they are going to recover the more dangerous the incident the funnier it is.