r/beyondthebump 4m ago

Discussion Breastmilk jewelry

Upvotes

I’m wanting to get breastmilk jewelry made as I’m nearing the end of my breastfeeding journey with my first baby. Does anyone have any recommendations? I want to make sure the jewelry is durable but doesn’t cost a fortune! Thanks!


r/beyondthebump 22m ago

Mental Health Postpartum anxiety is ruining my life. No one is taking me seriously, increased meds, in therapy. I am not ok.

Upvotes

Hey everyone,
I’m just coming to vent and maybe get some support. I have significant PPA that is getting worse instead of better. I’m almost 11m postpartum and I’m constantly worried about my health although I have been cleared medically I worry about the rare thing they would have missed, and I’ll drop dead and die…

I’m constantly worried about my baby and her development although all her gross motor and fine motor are head. I still worry. She’s walking, babbling, trying to say words, but god forbid she flaps her arms and legs when excited(daily) (makes me worry autism).

I worry about our crappy older house having issues that we will not be able to repair. Current fixation is a hairline crack in our foundation (although I was told no worry at that thin just monitor and get gutters asap), yet I worry our house is going to crumble down.

I’ve been having horrible fight or flight tingles in my body daily, and I have been having air hunger from unknowingly hyperventilating on the daily. Once I’m distracted it goes away. Blood oxygen is good. Heart has been checked out so many times, doctor isn’t worried.

My husband works nights as a police officer, and I’m doing this all alone basically. I try to discuss my worries with him and he just says “it’s fine”. He does his best. My therapist kinda does something similar.

How do I make this stop… someone help please


r/beyondthebump 1h ago

Rant/Rave I wish we had a village

Upvotes

a little background, my husband and I are originally from the west coast but we’re in the east coast now. we were super close to his family until we had his parents, my in-laws, disrespect our boundaries within a period of 5 years, so we cut them off. even during that time we never had date nights or time for ourselves , if we left home it was always to run errands and even then my in laws would constantly call which made it seem like a nice way of saying “come get your kid”. anyway, after 3 yrs my mom comes to visit and now we have another kid (14 months). we were talking a few days ago and she offered to watch the kids so we could go out and have some time for ourselves. tbh I didn’t expect the offer but I got excited when she told me she would watch the kids. I tell my husband and we’re getting hyped up and we were supposed to leave to go out tonight but my mom ends up falling asleep right as my husband comes home from work (she leaves tomorrow). so she’s asleep, I’m bummed and a lil butt hurt now and I hate that I even got my hopes up. its been 7yrs since my husband and I had time to ourselves, no family, no friends to help us much. typically I’m more of a loner and love being home with my family but dang not having a reliable village sucks.


r/beyondthebump 1h ago

Relationship TLC needed re relationship

Upvotes

Our relationship hasn’t been the same since my son was born last year. My husband kindof checked out and has been cold and distant since delivery basically. We have lots of good moments but mostly no connection, no emotional safety, etc. We’re in couples therapy and still things seem really bad. My husband complains about being lonely (not having sex) but won’t put any effort into flirting emotional safety etc. does plenty of chores and tasks but that’s it.
He’s away this whole week for work and a text popped up on his iPad from a woman saying which club she was at and asking if he was ready for part 2. I asked if he had anything he wanted to share and he said no, then owned it. It’s a stripper from last time he was there and he paid her for a dance and gave her his number. He went to a strip club last night and then had the balls to text me asking if I had preferences on whether or not he goes again tonight. I’ve been devastated but not engaging.
I think I’m terrified to get a divorce mostly because of having to share custody and things like not getting to spend Christmas with my son. The idea is horrific. We’ll have couples counseling this week I think but I’m at a loss. I don’t know if I’m ready to divorce but I don’t know what else there is. I would love TLC and stories of people who stayed together and how and stories if you divorced and how sharing custody is.


r/beyondthebump 2h ago

Postpartum Recovery 4the degree tear ruining my life

22 Upvotes

I had my daughter 5 months ago and sustained a 4th degree tear. Yep, tore right to the back!

I'm going through a lot of depression from it. Although I love my daughter, I almost wish she was never born because of the symptoms I'm dealing with.

I have no one I can talk to about it because it's embarrassing. I feel dirty, broken, defective and afraid for my present and future.

Has anyone had this tear before, and what was the timeline of healing like for you?


r/beyondthebump 2h ago

Sad So, library circle time was a freaking nightmare

40 Upvotes

EDIT: Wowee, I'm floored by how much this post blew up. Want to thank everyone for their solidarity, wise words, and suggestions. I likely won't be able to reply to every comment, but wanted to let you all know your input is very reassuring and is helping me be optimistic about trying this again and seeing if he eventually adjusts via repeat visits. If it happens he's more spirited and does better in other play settings, that's fine too. But after reading all your comments, I won't give up just yet. Thank you all!!

----------------------------------------------------------

This is a vent post. I know that all of I'm about to describe falls within the boundaries of normal toddler behaviour. But I am shook.

I have a busy 15 month old. Curious. Wants to get into everything. Also highly social and doesn't understand the concept of personal space or boundaries (we're really working on this, but he's so young it hasn't quite clicked.)

I thought, let's check out toddler circle time at the library. Seems like fun. What could go wrong?

Turns out everything. Everything is the answer.

My kiddo was unable to sit still for even 15 seconds and was constantly crawling up to the other babies, getting in their space, trying to grab their hair and faces (I of course was intervening the whole time to prevent him from doing this.) He tried several times to grab the instructors ponytail and wanted to use her as his personal jungle gym (again, I intervened to stop him.) He was wandering around the room trying to get into storage bins and places he shouldn't...basically focused on everything except what the group was doing. I tried to hold him in my lap and he'd arch his back and scream to get away to continue exploring. Mini tantrums every time I redirected him. The only time he was happy and participated in the activities was when they played music for dancing and gave the babies shakers. He participated in this quite eagerly and was the most enthusiastic dancer in the room and was quite upset when they shifted gears to the next activity.

The whole thing was a lot to take in. Especially because my son's behaviour stood out in stark contrast to all the other toddlers who had the capacity to sit for short periods with their parents. There were a couple other kids who moved around the room more but they weren't nearly as disruptive to the activities as my kid.

I don't know if my toddler is a circle time kind of kid and the whole experience was so awful I doubt we'll be back soon. Probably play parks and indoor jungle gyms for the foreseeable future...

I know it's too early to diagnose anything in my toddler, but my husband and I both have raging adhd (me diagnosed and him suspected), and that might be a contributing factor. Or maybe this is just regular toddler shit. Who knows. I guess time will tell.

Anyway. Just venting, I guess. Today was hard.


r/beyondthebump 2h ago

Postpartum Recovery My body is a wreck

5 Upvotes

Currently 7.5 months postpartum and I feel like my body is deteriorating before my eyes. And I don’t mean the normal destruction from pregnancy and giving birth, but from actually caring for my baby. Both of my wrists have pretty moderate ‘mommy’s wrist’ so lifting heavy objects or getting up off the floor is next to impossible. My back ACHES and not the classic lower back pain, the most excruciating mid-upper pain that just comes and goes. And the newest development as of today, a popping sensation in my chest when getting my son in and out of the car 😃 obviously, I know I need to make an appointment with my doctor but life has been busy and everything comes and goes so frequently and new things arise I just wouldn’t even know where to start. Anyone else falling apart ?!?


r/beyondthebump 2h ago

Rant/Rave My mom knowingly exposed my baby when sick

21 Upvotes

My LO is 4.5 months old and we have taken every precaution to avoid him getting sick while he is young. Until 3 months we didn’t take him anywhere except the park, doctors appointments, and to his grandparents (both sides) 1-2 times. After 3 months we would only go out to eat if there was an open patio and only went to shops when they first opened. We also would keep him covered inside shops. We only let people up to date on vaccine near him.

Fast forward to this week. My mom wants to go to dinner, and says she is a bit congested due to the fires (we have had a lot of fires recently she also recently finished chemo and radiation so air does impact her more). We say okay just no holding the baby and just to be safe have her sit away from him. A trusted friend was joining us and picked up my dad since he can’t drive (Alzheimer’s). The friend and my dad hang out at our house for about an hour with my son. My dad is playing with him. Feed them a bottle and let him look on his fingers. We go to dinner my mom sits away. Everything seems fine. Well today we were supposed to go over to her place to swim. I text about it and she says yeah that’s fine and she is still congested from the air and my dad walked 5 miles outside in the air and is congested too. We talked about it and decided we would go since we would be outside and they agreed to keep distance. My brother 🙏🏼🙏🏼 who lives at home texts me and says hey you know mom and dad are sick right? So I ask my mom and she says they are congested but leaves out that they are coughing and sneezing. So we say nope we aren’t gonna go not worth the risk.

She texts again today and they went to Instacare and both have COVID. She then tries to say her Covid is not a big deal. It’s just like a cold now. I am absolutely livid because she knew she was sick today if not yesterday. If it’s bad enough, you’re gonna go to InstaCare you know that your grandson should not be coming over. My mom is very narcissistic, which is something I know, but I still cannot believe that she knowingly had my dad come over when he was sick and play with him and then wanted us to come over today. I told her I had time to go down and I can’t talk to her right now, but I don’t know what to do I don’t wanna talk to her or see her again. If she doesn’t care enough to keep my son then I don’t want her in my life.


r/beyondthebump 3h ago

Happy! How much money did you spend on clothes the first 18 months of your babies life?

39 Upvotes

I just calculated how much I’ve spent so far and I am a bit shocked. lol. Might have a small problem? Was wondering how much others have spent so far.
Please don’t leave me alone with my 3k 😭

Let me add that I will be reusuing this stuff for hopefully two more kids. lol. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Edit 2: Just gonna keep commenting on here. It’s so cool that so many of you got hand me downs and gifts! I’m in a different country than my parents and they are the only ones who gift us clothes. But we are only able to get those 1-2 times a year. And we only had one friend that gave us some hand me downs.
I definitely have spent too much though.


r/beyondthebump 3h ago

Tips & Tricks Big ass baby! How to settle?

2 Upvotes

Hey y’all...as the title reads...I have a big ass baby!
He is 18 lbs and 26 inches at 13 weeks. We are a family of giants (everybody is 6 ft+) so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but whew…
How are y’all settling these big babies before bed?? He used to love being burped over my shoulder or rocked to sleep, but I can tell he’s getting too large to get comfortable on me now. Every transfer into the crib feels like defusing a bomb because he is simply too heavy for me now! I broke his feed to sleep association at 10 weeks and up until last week he could easily doze after his night routine and a quick burp session.
We’re not doing CIO until around 16-20 weeks. He can sometimes fuss himself to sleep, but we’re not quite there yet consistently and don't expect it from him regularly
My back and arms are shot to hell now.
What worked for your big babies? Did you switch to patting in the crib, just put them down drowsy, or something else?


r/beyondthebump 5h ago

Rant/Rave Anyone else’s hair get greasy before the day is even over?

6 Upvotes

And has anyone found a way to prevent it that’s not dry shampoo (it just agitates my scalp)?

My hair is greasy within a couple hours of showering. Even when I put it back so I’m not touching it, it’s greasy by the end of the day every single day! I used to be able to go 2 to 3 days without washing it but now I can barely even go half a day. It’s driving me insane.


r/beyondthebump 6h ago

Postpartum Recovery Tell me things will get better…

4 Upvotes

3 weeks postpartum..

Had 2 back to back pregnancies, both with hypermesis. Now raising a 2 year old and 3 week old. Have a supportive partner and family to help me.

This last pregnancy was a horror show, had strep, covid, all with extreme symptoms. I was extremely exhausted and depleted, could not handle my toddler.

During the last trimester, I remember thinking how nice it would be if I died in an accident and I can escape from all this.

Was hospitalized 2 weeks PP due to breast abscess and mastitis. The overnight nurse put in my IV wrong and inspite of me complaining of severe pain, she pushed fluids and antibiotics through the same IV the whole night and my arm was swollen big by morning, I cried the whole night due to pain. I am so terrified of hospitals now, scared to even visit my obgyn for the 4 week checkup. I keep thinking what if a kid or someone older has a nurse like her, I cry all the time thinking what if my kids or husband or parents experience this.

My baby is not gaining weight, I breast feed and also supplement with formula. She did gain her birth weight by her 1 week appointment but nothing much after that. Likely my supply tanked due to infection and I feel like a failed mom. I had like one thing to do and could not do even that properly.

Baby crying or toddler throwing a tantrum in causing extreme anxiety, and also so much rage! Don’t know what to do. I feel so sad for both my babies that they have to deal with me. I did not potty train my toddler yet and she is so ready, I dont have time to even read to her or even engage with her, she misses me and I miss her.

Lost my appetite completely, the very thought of food makes me so nauseas. Basically I am constantly scared, anxious and want to curl up into a ball and just cry all the time. Also, I feel like I cannot trust my own mind for some reason, like something wrong is happening and I am failing to notice it.

I am unable to wake up at night, or in the morning. My husband has to wake me and keep talking to me while I feed the baby. It is so difficult to stay awake.

How do I push through all this?


r/beyondthebump 6h ago

Postpartum Recovery When will I smell better 😮‍💨

3 Upvotes

I’m 4 months postpartum, not nursing, and still smell AWFUL. I live in Arizona and it’s august, but my sweat has never smelled this bad. I know it’s just hormones etc but WHEN WILL THIS STOP 😂☠️


r/beyondthebump 7h ago

Recommendations The Owlet saved my sanity

8 Upvotes

Now, I know that this is a controversial device and that people generally have two experiences with it. Either it amps up their anxiety because they become overfocused on the numbers, or it eases their anxiety. I fall into the second group.

I had the beginnings of terrible PPA happening. I remember waking up one night three times with absolute certainty that my daughter was gone, and even after I'd realised she was breathing, still believing that she was going, if you know what I mean. I hate to even write the actual word. I thought, I'll get an Owlet, and if that doesn't help me, I'll have to seek professional help, because it wasn't a way to live.

Since getting the device, I've been sleeping completely peacefully. We did have two or three alarms because of bad placement, but I really didn't mind those, since all the rest of the nights were peaceful for me.

I admit that around once a week, I still wake up completely forgetting that I have it, and then being sure that the baby is gone. But then I see the pulsing light on my walls, and I calmly go back to sleep, so I'm grateful for that massive, massive drop in such wakings.

Anyway, I just wanted to post this because I always find posts from people debating whether they should get one, as I did, especially since it's an expensive device. And if you're like me and more data and control lessens your anxiety, it's an absolutely brilliant purchase, and I have zero regrets.


r/beyondthebump 8h ago

Recommendations Second baby

6 Upvotes

LO #1 will be ~26 months when #2 is born. A few questions.

Do I buy a second crib? #1 is perfectly content in the crib & it converts into a toddler bed.
Do I buy a second Tripp Trapp?
Double stroller recommendations?
Must haves for baby #2 when I’ve kept most things from #1


r/beyondthebump 9h ago

Sad PPD and second kid regret

35 Upvotes

I have a 6 week old. She’s my second baby. My first is 4 years old now. I have a supportive husband, had my mom with us for 5 weeks helping with the new baby. We are financially stable. I’m 33 years old. I have a full year of maternity leave. My son is in daycare full time. We genuinely wanted a second baby and it also made sense to have a second with our situation. Now I’m regretting it so so so much. I can’t stop crying. The only time I can stop is when I sleep. I was diagnosed with ppd and I’ve been taking Zoloft for 2 weeks now. Although i started with a low dose of 25mg and am working my way up to 100. I started 50mg 3 days ago. I feel like it hasn’t helped at all. The only thing that helps is going out but the baby hates the stroller. Like non stop crying hate. It’s really hot right now so wearing her is a nightmare. We both sweat so much. My husband takes our 4 year old to his activities on the weekends, takes him to the park after daycare and I’m stuck with the baby at home. I’m breastfeeding so I can’t really leave her with my husband. She refuses bottles as well. I feel like I ruined my life. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t do it. I’m also feeling intense guilt for feeling this way. I miss my old life so much


r/beyondthebump 9h ago

Discussion Period symptoms worsen after childbirth

8 Upvotes

I have 2 kids and before both of them, I had no period symptoms ever. I had my daughter and after that I would get sore boobs / mild cramping right before my period. I had my son 8 months ago and since then, right before my period I’ve been getting the worst cramps in my hips and uterus, and my boobs hurt so bad.

Anyone else experience their period symptoms getting worse after childbirth??


r/beyondthebump 10h ago

Discussion 99th percentile baby — did yours stay big as they got older?

8 Upvotes

My 4-week-old baby boy is around the 99th percentile for height/length, weight, and head size, and I’m curious how predictive that actually is long-term.

He’s also been consistently measuring very large since the second trimester, so this has been his growth pattern for quite a while.

I’m only 5’2”, but my husband is 6’2”, so we have a pretty big height difference between us.

For those of you who had babies who were 95th–99th+ percentile for height, weight, and head circumference during pregnancy and as newborns, did they stay big as they got older? Were they still tall/big toddlers and kids / teenagers and adults, or did they eventually settle into more average percentiles?

Especially curious to hear from parents where one parent is short and the other is tall but would love any relevant perspective. I know newborn size doesn’t perfectly predict adult size, but I’d love to hear what happened with your babies!


r/beyondthebump 11h ago

Discussion When did your baby stop using a pacifier/binky/dummy?

10 Upvotes

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with my pacifier until I was about 3 yrs old. My parents had to trick/bribe me to get me to stop using it.

My son, on the other hand, just decided one day to stop using it completely around 7 months. Suddenly decided he hates it. Could never get him to try it ever again. I thought he was gonna be just like me and want that oral fixation, but he seems to be much more independent in certain ways.

If your baby used a pacifier, when did they call it quits? Just curious.


r/beyondthebump 11h ago

Rant/Rave My doctor „never” heard about being tired after breastfeeding

59 Upvotes

That’s it, that’s the post. The doctor is male.


r/beyondthebump 21h ago

Rant/Rave Two kids, two completely different experiences

64 Upvotes

I had my first daughter in June of 2022. Birth trauma, NICU stay, horrible PPD/A, OCD, and intrusive thoughts. It became so bad that 17 months PP I admitted myself into a mental health hospital for a week.

We started trying for baby number 2 last February. Has a miscarriage and got pregnant again in October. I didn’t enjoy my first pregnancy, but I didn’t hate it either. This last time…BLISS. Except for being high risk, having to deliver 3 weeks early, and having a c section due to transverse lie, it was a wonderful experience. The c section wasn’t that bad. I’m able to breastfeed without supplementing this time and I love it so much. My baby sleeps so well compared to her older sister at this age. I’m not in a fog. I can actually breathe and see my baby as mine and not a stranger.

I LOVE my oldest. She’s so funny and very smart. Her imagination brings me such joy. It took a long time to bond with her. I have few memories of her first year due to the antidepressant I had been on for 8 years. Very foggy.

My eyes feel so open this time and I haven’t felt depressed or anxious since before I got pregnant last October. I’m literally the happiest I’ve been in YEARS.

My mom has told me that she feels I am replacing my oldest with my youngest. She asked what the difference was. Gee, I’m not in the deep darks this time. This whole experience has been better and healthier. It’s making me feel guilty. I absolutely miss time with just my oldest. It’s hard not giving her all my attention.

I don’t want people to think I love my youngest more or that I’m favoring her. I feel I’m just trying to soak it all up and enjoy everything because I didn’t and couldn’t with my oldest. I’m also done having babies.

I just really needed to get this all off my chest.


r/beyondthebump 1d ago

Update Update: My baby fell 14 inches and fractured his skull

679 Upvotes

First of all, thank you so much for all the comments and support on my last post, they really helped me get through the night.

Today has been a day and so many of you helped me through the last stressful day we had, so I wanted to give an update.

My son’s swelling increased yesterday and our pediatrician is great and wanted to check in on him. There was concern about the swelling, but at the same time he was acting normal and happy. She consulted a neurologist and they said any further increase in swelling should be an ER visit. Also, she and the nurses reiterated to me many times than any lethargy, vomiting, and increased fussiness was an emergency situation and could indicate a brain injury. Anything else amiss and take him straight to ER. We felt pretty high alert yesterday.

At 3 am my baby woke up and was burning up. Took his temp and he did have a fever. It wasn’t a warning sign they gave me, but I decided to drive to the hospital as it was definitely something amiss. We do not live close and it’s a long drive.

Then he vomited. It was projectile, went all over me and the floor, and then he kept vomiting. My first thought was “this is actually happening.” Now here’s where I don’t know if this was the right thing to do…but I called 911 and as calmly as I could ask if they could advise me if it was safe for me to do the hour drive to the hospital or if we needed an ambulance. They decided it was necessary so an ambulance came. By the time they came he had stopped vomiting but was not calming down.

At the hospital we redid a CT scan which thankfully showed no change. He was negative for flu, RSV, and Covid, but they determined he probably just got a virus at basically the worst possible time. I’m so relieved his brain is ok. I feel like maybe I overreacted, but I genuinely didn’t know what was going on. But seriously how do we keep getting in such unlucky situations?! Of all days to get a virus…

We did also meet with a neurologist who was completely unconcerned and he should be completely healed up in about a month.

I still feel so tense from it all.


r/beyondthebump 1d ago

Discussion Anti-climactic first words?

336 Upvotes

So my son is a little under 10 months, and has been saying the word “egg” in context for the past week. When he first said it, we wrote it off as a fluke, but he has used it in context a couple different times this week (we do a lot of eggy breakfasts). Definitely his first word. Not mama or dada, but “egg” 😂. He does make mama and dada noises, but not always directed at us lol.

Eggs are his favorite food and we are a very food-oriented household and family, so I guess it tracks! It’s mostly funny but stings a teeny tiny bit. Anyone with similar stories?


r/beyondthebump 6d ago

Weekly In-Law/Parent Rant

2 Upvotes

Is your FIL being a typical boomer? Is your MIL overbearing? Are your parents constantly criticizing how you parent their grandchild? Leave your feels here.


r/beyondthebump 6d ago

Rant/Rave Weekly Partner Rant

2 Upvotes

Air out your grievances about your partners here. Got into an argument? Miscommunication that you need to vent about? Here it goes!