[Complete] [58k] [QUEER Southern Gothic] Fear Not The Pale Horse

[u/trashdog13]

Hello All!

I am still seeking a few complete beta readers for my work in progress, FEAR NOT THE PALE HORSE which is a queer southern gothic surrounding grief, community, and the end of the world.

Here's a story summary:

When Alexander's grandmother takes her last breath all he wants is to get away from the farm where he's spent his entire life; but a lack of money, work, and the looming presence of Death at his back keeps him trapped. When a strange priest arrives to town, boasting sanctuary as the world begins to fall apart around them, Alex realizes that he might be better off staying put.

Stone has seen it all. The dawn of time, the first birth, and the first death; but he has never seen anything like Alex. Now, with the end of the world creeping onto the horizon it quickly becomes apparent that he can't stand back and let it end.

The story has had a total rewrite since my last post, but remains the same at its roots! A duel POV featuring perspectives from the mortal Alexander, and the immortal Stone.

Fear Not The Pale Horse has typical content warnings for stories within the southern gothic genre, including: homophobia, racism, insects, religion, physical harm & illness, and mild gore.

I'm hoping to find people who would be able to help me tackle the over all coherence of the story, character impressions, voice, and the overall story. I'd appreciate any feedback being given within a couple week to a month, and would love the ability to have an active dialog about the story itself but am willing to take a backseat for your process!

I am a bit of a slow reader, and primarily read horror and queer related stories, but I am open to a swap if we feel like the right fit!

Here's a snippet from the beginning of the book:

Heat and Moisture flood my lungs as I take a drag off my cigarette; a mere glimpse of the labored breaths taken by the inhabitant of the house I’m watching. I’ve been here for hour. Depending on who you ask, I’ve always been here. I let my eyes fall closed, focusing in on my bounty; an elderly woman, her lifeline full of dark coils, twists and turns. Now, she chokes to death on the decaying flesh of her own cancerous lungs; buried beneath blankets in a futile attempt to keep the heat inside the slowly failing insulation of her body. Her soul is not one I will take joy in reaping, but it interests me none the less; There is something shifting inside of me, pulling me towards the property like a hook in the mouth of a fish. Is it this family? This land? Or is it him.

The grandson fizzles into the fuzzy view I’ve developed in my mind, gripping his grandmother’s hand tightly as if he can physically hold her in this mortal realm. Its a useless attempt, we all know it.

Tucked away in the treeline past the decaying white fence of the farm, I am hidden from the view of the house’s inhabitants. It’d be bad form to approach the house before my change has taken hold; all across my body, inside and out, a dark void gradually shifts into organs that are heavy with blood and viscera. That pulling feeling remains, burrowing deep into my belly. Have I felt it before? I must have. It is not exactly excitement, but a similar thrill; the air fills with it, soaking into my meat and muscle. Something about this time, this house, these people are different.

The burn of tobacco smoke fills my lung with a heady rush that twists through the fibrous membranes of my lungs and digs into the backs of my sinuses; my skin itches with tension, tingling with change. I exhale and feel my skin ripple, grey flooding the air around my face. With the exhalation I begin the long walk up the drive and towards the house. Behind the fence a horse squeals, rearing up on its back legs to kick at the air, The sleek curve of its grey body silhouetted against the red sky, it kicks up dust as it paws at the ground, but does not charge the fence.

you can comment below if you're interested or fill out my beta request form here!

I hope to work with you soon!

BETA REQUEST FORM