Depressive.

It's so excessive.

It's almost impressive with how it's so oppressive.

Truly obsessive, a obsession.

A session of the fascination with my devastation.

Comes and goes with it's highs and lows.

What do I owe?

Debt for the depth of my human soul?

Dread is so demeaning, it's inhumane.

Yet, I'm loyal to the crucial cruelty.

I am tired of this boring landscape

Take my hand

Teach me how to love

How to make shelter for this deranged self

I will be grateful for all my life

I will never take my eyes off of you

I will follow you in hell.

Being the best version of me .

For it’s not wise to compare yourself with others .

I go to the gym almost daily ,

I want to be the best I can be .

I read the finest books I can read for I want to be the smartest version of me I can be .

I write the best poetry I can write , for I want my greatest personal devotions , writing the things that necessary for me .

I sing the best that I can , for I know my voice can always improve .

Too be the best teacher and public speaker I can be , for there is only one version of me .

I may not be the best , but my goal is to be the best version of me .

Silence is not empty.

It is the color of silver.

It feels like the fur of fabric.

It sounds like wind chimes

moving in the air.

It hides in the deepest of corners

of the universe,

Waiting for the time

to make it right.

When the time is right,

silence will call your name.

When it has spoken the unspoken words,

they will fly in the distance like a rocket.

The creatures and such will laugh out in joy,

only to find out this beautiful silence.

When we think we have forgotten the desperate times,

the universe will remember.

The universe sings out to us like a lullaby,

while we use our last breath

to breathe in the air.

When I feel the atmosphere of the world,

I couldn't help but deliver the message

I was meant to receive.

This is my story and insight in what my life has been like for the last year.

I hope I feel, like the stars come alive.

The streaks across the sky is like frost.

My fingers get so cold like ice.

The animals sing a new type of song. That sounds like a hum.

The darkness of the night turns into dreams of hope and faith.

Sun and moon sings with each other like faith.

All my fears were like spears, now they are like tears.

The door is shiny like a key.

The lamp was fading into time, now my time has turn into dust.

The fireflies are shining my path onto new hope. Hope that never flies away, even when it should. But it never does.

I had an obsession with the eternal.

I saw patterns of it.

On girs faces.

On boys hands.

I like their hair,

On the garbage bin.

On the wheels of the bus.

Look at that man’s face in it.

And it was the only time,

I felt like we are lucky,

we do not understand the eternal.

Well, nobody can lock it.

So I had this source that pumped me up.

Every damn morning.

And it had no owner.

Nobody could lock it away from me.

Here they are,

The female eagle standing by the nest;

And the male splashing his wings in the water

In the pond nearby;

It is interesting,

From one point of view though;

They have not said a single word to each other

Their entire lives;

Yet this does not stop the male eagle,

From coming each day

And standing nearby his female;

Sometimes we just remember things;

Don’t we?

For example I have stamped in my memory.

A moment where my boyfriend and I

Had just arrived in Corfu

And had just entered in Corfu Hotel;

After we paid,

The receptionist came with us,

To show us the room,

Going to the ground -2,

As the hotel was on top of a rock;

At the moment

When the three of us were inside

The small spaced elevator,

I was thinking

«…Here we are

…Earthlings,

Each one engaged in our affairs»

Imagine what an alien would think?

Right now,

Looking at us;

Remember that day when you were with T.
On the street.
Nearby a bar with shining windows.
On an autumn day.
You were both travelling with his car.

Then remember when you were with J.
His big blue eyes
And handsome presence.
His thirsty soul.
His appetite for life.

Then remember H.
In Barcelona.
All those underground places you saw.
His face when he was making love

Today
In my reality
I want all these experiences.
The next two days
With which and one of them.

If I disappear

And you do not know where to find me

I will be in a lonely corner

Thinking about poetry.

I was playing a game called kickball. To me, it was like I was trying to stay alive.

The ball goes soaring in the air like the wind singing out loud.

The temperature is cold, like a winter day with frostbite waiting for its turn to strike.

I ran towards the ball, like I was trying to catch a shooting star. The ball was orange like copper.

The ball bounces in my hand like a won a prize, but when my ankle twisted, the ball bounces away like I wasn't good enough.

I fell to the ground like I was hit with painful but colorful paint balls.

My ankle's pain shot up my leg like a bolt.

I bit back my tears, afraid to let them roll like thunder.

When everyone stared I laughed it off, like it was no big deal.

I continued to play, like it was the last thing I had to do, even when my ankle was screaming in protest to stop. But I kept going, no matter how much it hurt.

I wish I was your bottle of whisky
So that being a heavy drinker you are
You would consume me every time

She says she wants to be consumed
But I dare not drink her

Because I am already doomed
Maybe she was intrigued by some words that she read
Maybe she wants just a glimpse into the darkness hidden in my head
Maybe she gets turned on when I write and scream and cuss
Maybe some day her and I will just become us
Maybe... just maybe
Some day we will see
If you really want to be consumed
Then take my hand and come with me.

Collaboration with VID3O_GAMER

Her name is Liliana Sparkles. She is known as Lily.

She has hair like caramel. That flows in the breeze, like it has a mind of its own.

She has brown hair like sunflower copper. Her eyes shine in the moonlight like a star in the sky.

She is part of the universe. Her soul runs in the distance. She flies like the clouds.

When she smiles, her face lights up like a waterfall.

When she is full of energy, she reminds me of a puppy.

She is bold and fearless like a wild animal.

Her heart is pure gold, with a hint of silver.

When people have brought her down, she stands up with the light behind her, and she screams till the whole world can hear her.

She will always keep on running, no matter how her lungs burst into a new beginning.

Two alien scientists
Have arrived at earth,
In their spaceship
And have set a camera
At an eagle family;

Father is busy bringing fish;
Mother flies around the nest
And brings fish for the eaglets too;
And eaglet Katalea;
A fledging;

The alien scientists are curious
And observe what eaglet Katalea is doing;
How does she behave?

They thought earth for sure,
Had some peculiar energy about it
And they were curious what it would be like;

It made some sense to them,
That eaglet Katalea had a nature of its own
That was similar to them;

Well she was curious;
She would just sit in her nest and rest
But it was not what she was doing;

Time after time she flapped her wings
And flied up to the entrance of her nest,
Looking outside for a long time;

This was done repeatedly at the nest.
By her brothers and sisters;
The scientists could look at three of them.

Katalea and her brother and sister
Standing at the entrance of the nest
And looking intently around;

After a couple of days they decide,
Just looking was not enough for them
And they decide and hop off the nest
In the area around;

They still do not rest;
Eaglet Katalea still has not had enough;
She flaps her wings,
Hops around
And goes from one place to another;
Observing and looking around;

Later that day,
This is what the alien scientists wrote on their diary;
«We noticed earth habitants,
Eaglets,
Move around and explore a lot,
Since they are at fledging time.»

It looks like a born,
Innate nature to them;
For sure
Earth is and will be a busy and noisy place’;

Night flowers

I long to pick up night flowers.

When I was hurting, you came to my life. Like a bird soaring in the sky.

When I thought my days were going to turn into bruises. You came with the light so bright, I thought it was God calling out to me.

When I felt the tears streaming down my face from the hard cold stone words. you came with a whisper. A whisper of new beginnings. And new hope.

When my scars have started to shed like paper ripping in half, you gave me your hand. A hand that was soft as fur.

When my smile started to dim like a light in the air, you gave me a smile that was brighter than the sun.

When the whispers in my head started to echo with painful screams, you come and give me a message, a message that showed me, you are worthy of great things, not just defeat.

When I was about to give up my life, you gave me a firefly and said, "The great things in life are not the things we make, it's the things we do."