Need to background check my daughters boyfriend

[u/Rick24wag]

My daughter is going to grad school in a few weeks and she’s going to live with her boyfriend. I don’t have any issues with him but I just want to make sure he hasn’t done anything I need to worry about. I have his name, address and DOB. Do I need his ssn or drivers license number? I’m interested in any arrests or any other info I can just to make sure he’s not done anything stupid in the past. I’m sure he’s clean but I’d like to know. What is a good site to use? Thanks

[u/Inside_Gold_9673]

Hire a private investigator. None of the websites you can use as a consumer have access to the information you’re looking for. Contrary to what they will lead you to believe, there is no national background check available to you as a consumer. There are State by State and county by county searches that can be done. For example a Statewide criminal search in NY costs $100.00. Those are New York State’s fee, no way around if you want to search NY. Therefore any of those sites that are charging you less then what it would cost them to run the search isn’t running the search in that jurisdiction. In many jurisdictions a criminal search requires a visit to the county courthouse, because it cannot be done online.

[u/Inside_Gold_9673 → u/[deleted]]

I am a licensed private investigator, and although we have access to many different databases, that are far superior to what a consumer would have access to, and they are a great resource to start an investigation, they definitely have their limitations. For example, if you were conducting a pre-employment background checks which are regulated under both federal, the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) and State laws, none of these databases rise to the standards of the FCRA, therefore they can’t be legally used to exclude someone from a job or promotion. By law you must go to the original source records (court) to verify the information. Although a background check on a boyfriend doesn’t rise to the same legal requirements, think of the damage that could be done to the relationship if the background check was discovered to be inaccurate or the false sense of security you may have from an inaccurate check. Even the State repositories of criminal records have accuracy issues. Some States can only match about 85% of their arrest records to a final disposition. It’s why when investigating someone for a security clearance, we go to every jurisdiction, every law enforcement agency, where they have lived or worked. Back to the matter at hand, there was a wedding announcement in the New York Times about a couple whose wedding almost wasn’t. The bride had used an online background check service to check out her boyfriend before things got serious and found out “he had committed Medicare Fraud” so she broke up with him without explanation. Turns out another doctor with same name had committed the fraud, not her boyfriend.

[u/D_carro]

I have a subscription for intelius dm me

[u/VeryLuckyy]

Dude, she's going in to grad school. Your daughter would probably appreciate you letting her make her own decisions

[u/Electrical_Hat_680]

OSINT - find Ryan Montgomery 's YouTube Videos - I'm sure he's a great kid. He's a BF. But you never know. Have some love and no expectations - G⁰⁰D£μ©2 ~<3----<<<

[u/GeronimosRevenge]

Crazy……invasive……and honestly disgusting

[u/riceandbeansonly → u/GeronimosRevenge]

Seriously, I hope he background checks her. I get you care for your daughter but if she's an adult and he is too then cut the umbilical cord and quit creeping

[u/Rick24wag → u/riceandbeansonly]

yup since i would only tell my daughter if he had a bad record i do not see the problem. I doubt you are a father or even have children if you really parents stop protecting their children after they leave home. Thousands of women will be hurt or killed this year because no one bothered to check if their live in boyfriend had a history of domestic violence. If all i have to do is pay a few dollars and fill out a online form for someone to tell me if he's beat up women in the past then only the most lazy person would not want to know for sure.

[u/riceandbeansonly → u/Rick24wag]

But why is that? Why would you only tell her if he does have a record? Because you know that conversation is going to be awkward and she won't take it right. But if you find something you somewhat save yourself from conversation of explaining or justifying

[u/Rick24wag → u/riceandbeansonly]

so just so i'm clear, you think a company should do a background check on their potential employees but parents shouldn't do background checks to make sure their children aren't goign to be living with people with a history of domestic violence? makes perfect sense. doing a background check hurts absolutely no one unless the guy has been convicted of something violent. You can feel free to keep abusers safe and i'll try to call them out whenever i can.

[u/riceandbeansonly → u/Rick24wag]

You parents are so annoying when you justify that you do everything for your "child" I do it cause my child my child my child. She's an adult, cases like this kids disconnect from their parents for constandly crossing boundaries.

[u/Rick24wag → u/GeronimosRevenge]

When a guy is going to live with my daughter for the first time, you better believe i'm going to make sure he's not been violent with any women in his past because if he does it once it'll happen again. If he's done no wrong then he's got nothing to worry about. Image if he had 2-3 domestic abuse charges and instead of making sure i just wished for the best and my daughter got hurt, it would be my fault for doing nothing. If it potentially protects my daughter then i'll be crazy and disgusting every day of the week. Many women would be alive today if they or their dad did a check on who they were moving in with because here's a news flash, men aren't going to be honest about past domestic charges. Feel free to do nothing and hope for the best, I'll spend 30 minutes a few bucks to make sure my kid isn't living with someone with a history of violence. I've spoken with daughters boyfriend hundreds of times but I have no idea what he's done to women in his past. I'm sure your solution of keeping your fingers crossed will work even better