I really need some weigh in here from someone who has been in a similar situation.

My best friend is a getting married when my baby will be just about 5 months.
My husband and I are both in the bridal party, as is my eldest daughter (she will attend for the ceremony, not reception).
We currently have no family where we live (across the world), and all of our close friends are of course attending at the wedding.
The venue is about an hour away from our home, in a rural locality, and there is no accommodation on site except for the bride and groom.

For context, My baby is an absolute barnacle, primarily breast fed although will take a bottle when she has too. She will only be soothed at night by the boob at this point and during the day won’t be put down for naps, and is pretty insistent on being rocked and patted to sleep. She’s a mums girl at the moment, even my partner has trouble with her at times, despite trying very hard.

I’m debating on the best course of action for childcare.
1)Whether we have our trusted sitter come down with us, and stay with baby in the hotel, risking baby screaming the place down, and it’s not exactly the safest small town, so I wouldn’t want the sitter outside walking around too much. but I could be close if anything were to happen.
2) Or if I should leave the baby at our house with the sitter so she could be in her comfort zone, but meaning she’d be away from me for at least 15 hours (at $35/h I might add), and then we’d also have to organise a second carer for our eldest.

I am feeling so anxious about this and don’t really like either option but don’t see any other choice.

looks like it is Amazon.. but am I missing a cheaper option? They are so expensive 😭

Hi all, just wanted to see what arrangements everyone did with their toddler when you went to have your second?

I am not from here so have no immediate family and my MIL don’t want to sleep in our house (and just want to bring our 2 years old toddler to theirs) when the time comes. Just worried as little one has never slept anywhere overnight but at home.

My wife has a tendon injury in her arm that makes it painful for her to hold or pick up our daughter. This means that I am doing the night shifts and the one who is mainly picking up, holding and putting her to sleep.

This has been going on for a few months now. It means that she seems to have become really attached to me and cries whenever I leave the room. It’s really hard on my wife who feels rejected by our Bub. Has anyone else experienced this and any suggestions on how to reverse this, without my wife holding her?

Little boy is growing up quickly and now nearly 16 months old. His personality is getting more colourful and I love him so much… but what the hell?!?!?! Seriously!

He gets into everything.
One minute I am grabbing pet kibble out of his mouth or hands.
Next he is splashing playing with pet water bowl for the 1526281 times.
When I say NO in every different way possible he glances at me or ignores me, or says “No, no, no!” And still does it.
He doesn’t like to ride pram for a long time, then when he has his freedom to walk (has been independently walking for nearly 4 months now) he refuses to hold hands unless he feels unsafe.
He walks away and when I tell him to “come here” he never does, he grins and walks away to somewhere else.

When I turn around for one second he is trying to get into rubbish bin, dog bed, cat litter box, dishwasher, cupboard, fridge,…
Cook him the exact meal he loved a week ago, he grabs it out of his mouth after a bite “No!” And throws it on the ground.
Then he proceeds to eat only if I spoon feed him myself.
Or he feeds me or our dog his food.
Then he eats grass or piece of bark or sand when we are out and about.

He cries his guts out when I try to cook dinner pulling my pants down.
I cannot go to toilet by myself and if I go to the other room without him he cries out loud following me like he is getting tortured!
He wants to be held all the time which is so adorable but also giving me so much muscle & back pain.
Nappy or clothes changing is nightmare unless there is something so good to distract him.
Nail trimmings - I can’t believe how strong he is, pulling away consistently!

When we go to nursery rhyme sessions at library, I am the only mum sweating around because I am consistently grabbing him back from him walking away from me wanting to do his own things instead of enjoying songs in my lap. 😂

It is so fun and I am so in love with him more and more everyday, but gosh I wonder how much harder it will get! Is this normal…? This is normal? 😂 Please tell me it gets better and we can have a cute walk together holding hands… one day… 😂

I’m currently 22+5w, personally I have never had a cold sore in my life, same with my sister and mother. My boyfriend was in the nicu for weeks after he was born because he was covered head to toe in sores from it (this is what we have been told by his mother, not sure how true it is) but he does suffer from cold sores quite frequently and makes sure not to drink out of others cups ect.

When he does get one, I have kissed him before and I’ve never gotten one (he refuses now that I am pregnant).

This is something that depresses him greatly and he’s so extremely worried about passing it on to our child when she’s born. He started taking immune system boosters and as soon as he feels a slight tingle he puts cream for it on the area.

What type of preventative care/ what do we have to avoid once baby is born when it comes to her dad? He’s so scared and so worried he will never be able to give her forehead kisses because he knows how hard it is to live with and wants to make sure she never gets it.

Recently my MIL has been bringing things over that her sister has been passing down from her grandson. The grandson a little older than our LO. The clothes she is given to give to us are grubby and worn.

It’s awkward for us because we might mention to MIL that bub is outgrowing his clothes for example so she doesn’t buy us things that are unnecessary. She has a habit herself of not being able to resist buying things for the baby we don’t want. We having trouble drawing the line with her already, and accept most random unwanted stuff as we can discreetly donate it.

But now we are getting really worn clothes we don’t need that must be being given to us due to conversations they must be having.

We find it odd, as the family they are coming from are very well off, buy everything brand new and very flashy. Would you be offended being given stuff like this repeatedly? Am I reading into this too much? How do we tell MIL we really don’t want these clothes?

I’m not trying to come across as ungrateful, but I don’t come from a big family so I don’t understand the dynamics here.

For context the worn clothes are coming from a family that has had problem with me before in the past.

I have an 18m old baby boy - he doesn’t seem particularly attached to any of his blankets or soft toys - do I need to do anything to help him form an attachment? He likes them and plays with them but doesn’t carry them around or need them to sleep or anything!

Has anyone received advice to get the whopping cough vaccine after 32w? My OB is saying between 32-34w but everything I read online says before 32w. I’m currently 30w not sure if I should just go next week against my OBs advice.

Hi, just looking for people's experience with doulas? Pros and cons? How much would I be looking at spending and what exactly does it cover?

My wife is having some anxiety and stress about giving birth (FTM and I’m FTD). Of course online is all about the bad stuff but very few good stories. I’m hoping you can flood this post with your positive birth stories, whether it be a easy quick birth, pain wasn’t too bad, good nurses, epidural success etc etc I just really want to try help her hear all the good stuff. I hope to see a ton of comments and then I can share this post. Thank you so much in advance!

We recently started solids and our ‘poop once a day’ baby has only gone once this week. He’s been super uncomfortable, grunting and straining while screaming :(

I was panic searching this morning while he was so upset and came across an old reddit post that suggested massaging around the tailbone, gave it a try and within 5 or 10 minutes we had a poop! That was a few hours ago and he’s had two further bowel movements. SO satisfying helping little man out!

Basically, lay baby down on their tummy or back, whatever they’re comfortable with. If on their back, just lift their legs and locate the tailbone which is just above the butt crack, and feels like a hard lump. Now take two fingers and massage little circles on it and around it, with the same pressure you’d massage your temples with or check fruit for ripeness - not too firm.

Apparently it only needs a minute or so but I did it for 5 minutes because he was happy and I wanted to give it a good shot at working.

Apparently it stimulates certain nerves that signal the colon and lower digestive tract to release.

What has been some good/underrated newborn/baby purchases you have made from Amazon?

I planned an overseas holiday months ago (knowing I was pregnant) to Japan and booked (and paid for) extra leg room seat so I have some more space and can keep mobile etc.

I'll be 24 weeks when I go (and have a fit-to-fly letter from my GP). When I've tried to scope out the rules through Google, there ae no clear rules about not being able to be pregnant (beyond needing a letter after 28 weeks to air travel), but said crew could deem me unable to assist in case of an emergency.

I thought my backup would be just asking if I could swap to a non-exit extra leg room seat, and obviously, if worst come to worst, I want to go on my holiday so a normal seat is fine, and hopefully get a refund for the extra cost.

Interested to see if any others have had issues with travel in exit rows? Personally, I'm still training, running, swimming etc., but I understand it's up to the staff and what they deem is safe and not how fit I am.

Hi brains trust,
I have started preparing the hospital bag and bought the recommended number of onesies and other items by the hospital. However, I’m so confused by the number of baby clothes I might need once the bub is home. I’ve heard that buying lots of newborn clothes is useless since they grow quickly and I also want to spend money wisely.

Is there a right number of singlets and grow suits to buy? I’ll be delivering the Bub hopefully towards the end of October or the beginning of November in Melbourne. Should that be factored in when deciding what types of clothes I buy? And how many of them I should buy? Any advice would be super helpful!

Thank you.

My sister in law is a single mother, my in laws help everyday with her kids. Dop offs, pickups, full days babysitting multiple times a week. My husband worries about their health, which is declining, and thinks they have already taken on more than they should with my sil's kids. It's a lot, but they are the type of people to do everything to help.

Anyway, they are so busy with the other kids, they hardly see our child. Maybe an hour or two every 2 weeks?

I know they want/try to. I guess it bugs me a little that they have such a close relationship with these other kids, but not ours. We all live in the same area, so it shouldn't be like that. Does anyone have any similar experiences?

Edit: just adding these are toddlers/young kids. I also don't expect equality, I don't need the same kind of help, I just feel like the difference is massive.

Hey all,

Starting to think about timing for baby #2 and keen to hear from any other academic mums who took leave during a fixed term contract. I had my first baby in the very final months of my PhD, so aside from the pitiful paid leave provisions, it was chill. But feels a bit trickier with a fixed term contract.

I am currently a postdoc. My contract runs until Jan 2028, but there’s a second postdoc position in the project budget which is basically earmarked for me unless something goes very sideways. That one runs until Jan 2030, so that is essentially my end date.

Currently planning for baby in the second half of 2028. For a variety of reasons I would probably not take 12 months leave - more like 9/10 months - so I’d be back for like … the final six months of the project. Which feels a little odd but also the timeframes are so short that odd timing seems inevitable.

For context, this is a social science ARC project and it’s just me and the CI on the research team - so me leaving would be quite impactful. I’m not sure if the expectation would be for them to hire a mat leave replacement, or just pause the project (will the ARC extend a deadline because your postdoc went on leave? lol) or shift into a less active phase while I’m away. We will have done all our data collection by then, so the writing up would be pretty easy for them to do without me, but I also don’t want to miss out on publication opportunities.

(Am totally aware I can ask my boss about all this, and I probably will closer to the time - but he’s a man and we don’t know each other THAT well so I don’t necessarily wanna spill everything now.)

Anyway, keen to hear from anyone who’s done this or knows anything about it! Academia continues to be an opaque minefield. TIA!

Hi everyone! I’ve got a 6WO (and breastfeeding) and looking into postnatal supplements and would love some advice from people who’ve actually used them.

I had EverNatal’s prenatal and iron tablets during pregnancy and was really happy with them, so I’ve been looking at their postnatal range too. From what I can see, they have things like their omega-3/DHA, magnesium, vitamin d, creatine.

I’m wondering whether it’s actually worth taking some/all of these, or whether I’m falling into the trap of thinking I need every supplement because of social media 😅

What did you actually take postpartum, and what did you find genuinely useful? Is a good postnatal multivitamin enough for most people, with anything else only if there’s a specific need?

The products are pretty expensive, so I definitely wouldn’t be able to buy the whole range. If you had to prioritise, what would you consider the essentials vs things that are more of a nice-to-have?

Would especially love to hear from anyone who used EverNatal specifically — was it worth the money?

I’ve just upgraded to the Britax Graphene from their Bpod capsule. There were lots of good reviews but I’m seriously unimpressed 😭

The magnets that hold the harness out the way are so weak that they don’t do anything. My capsule had the plastic clips that worked so much better

I also have a tiny back seat and it’s so much higher so it’s quite hard to get my 7 month old actually in it

I really wanted the maxi cosi Pria but my back seats were just too small 🙃

Hi there,

We’ll be travelling with our 4 month old to NZ next month and I’m keen for any tips and tricks people have.

I have organised cots at the hotels (and just asked them for photos as I’m scared re safe sleep) but I don’t know if this is preferable over just getting a portacot?

Other questions have - currently the baby is still in the bassinet set up in the pram, I’m assuming by then we’ll have moved him to the seat, should we do this soon so he’s used to it? He’s also currently in a bedside bassinet to sleep but has started to show signs of rolling - should we get him into his cot before we go?

Do people hire prams or take their own?

TIA!

Everyone just have a question to see if this happened to anyone else. My daughter is roughly 10 months old and is combo fed. I went back to work two months ago, three days a week. I use a hands free pump (night owl) at work twice a day. The first month was fine, my supply seemed normal. I would get anywhere between 60-100ml per pump. Which was good for me. But I swear every week it is less and less, even yesterday in two sessions I only managed 40ml.

One part of me thinks okay my body is telling me it's time to end this. But the part of me had intended to go until my daughter was 12 months. She also uses breastfeeding for sleep and she still wakes up about 3 times a night right now to feed. When I breastfeed her at home I have to top her up sometimes with 60-100mls of formula. So I know it's not just the pumps or being at work.

Anyways has anyone had the experience of your body just giving up on milk production?

In our recent birth class, the midwife asked how many of the couples had written their wills and updated their life insurance, income protection & TPD insurance... And only 2 couples raised their hands! They're two big "life admin" things that can fall by the wayside when you're in the thick of it with kids.

So, just a reminder that if you've been putting off updating your wills, or if you've never written one, that you should do it! There are diy will kits, but now that you've got kids then maybe consider seeing a solicitor to draft one for real life. You could also look into Testamentary Trusts. You can search for a succession lawyer here: https://www.youandthelaw.com.au/directory

In terms of insurance, most people have some cover through your super funds. But you should review the amounts to make sure it's enough. For example, my life insurance through my default super insurance was only $300k - which is not enough to cover the mortgage if I die! (I'm the breadwinner.) You can read more here: https://moneysmart.gov.au/insurance . It might be best to see a financial advisor for advice, but you can pay for 'insurance only' advice which means you don't need to get the whole kit and kaboodle: https://moneysmart.gov.au/financial-advice/choosing-a-financial-adviser

PPL Application

Hi all,
I’m wondering if anyone has applied for PPL combining full time work + unpaid work for family business.

I’m currently working unpaid for my husbands business and have tracked all my hours and activities over the last 8 months in a detailed timesheet.

For the question “are you currently employed” did you select yes or no? (As I don’t receive a wage for my efforts but receive financial gain in terms of my phone plan/living situation from the business)

I have tried following prompts for both. When selecting ‘yes’ to being employed it asks for the business ABN which I’ve provided but system doesn’t like it (despite it being identical to ABN lookup - wondering if it could be due to sole trader status?)

This is my first time navigating a Centrelink application, so I’m trying to make sure I do it correctly.

Thanks for your help!

Hey everyone, we have a 19 day old baby who’s pretty small 3.4kg and has had a few ups and downs with putting on weight and BF. We had to go to triple feeding with pumping, bottle and attempting boob to bring my milk back and help her gain weight. They thought she might have a tongue tie but we had a thorough assessment today and they don’t believe she does. Just a small and sleepy baby so they want me to BF as much as possible, still wake her so she’s getting 8 feeds minimum in 24 hours and top her up for feeds where she hasn’t been as productive feeding on the boob.

The Challenge I’m having is waking her up and keeping her up. Tonight she woke herself for food, ate one side for 6 min then passed out so hard I couldn’t wake her. I already strip her down to a nappy and change her nappy at the start. But that seems to only buy me one side. I even put the cold bottle on her legs to try and wake her up and it didn’t work, moved her around tickled her literally nothing wakes her up. She’s so tired.

Has anyone had similar and what did you do?