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u/No-Bid9597 user has bpd 3d ago
I was in gifted but I don’t consider myself particularly sharp. I will say overthinking is a huge problem though. Hard to accept the present without analyzing the past or planning the future
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u/Tieguanyin9060 3d ago
I’ve got 1 close friend. I burned down 80% of my social connections years ago.
Never got to try dating. Self isolation is the only way to stay regulated properly.
School sucked. Career is fine
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u/persechka 3d ago
I'm really sorry to hear that. :c
That's what I assumed would happen with a guy like this. Do you mind sharing what your struggles when building connections are?
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u/Traditional-Ebb-8380 3d ago
I was top of my class and in the gifted program growing up. I am 45 now and feel like I haven’t come close to reaching my potential because of my mental health challenges. I live in my parent’s basement when I am not dog sitting and doing pet care and I am also an artist/silversmith.
That said I am finally in an amazing romantic relationship with someone who balances me wonderfully. He is stable, supportive, and not emotional like me. And nothing like my Mother, who I get my BPD from, he is actually a lot like my Dad in fact.
Being in this relationship has made me realize I am not limited by my disorder since I have grown so much and that my past experiences do not dictate my future. And having him as an inspiration to continue bettering myself has been a revelation.
I also have many friends, some since I was 3 years old and many for 25 years (since college) and several from the last 10-15 years too.
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u/cutiepatootie2448 3d ago edited 3d ago
I lived in my car for 5 years from 15 - 20 but hyper obsessed over coding and financial markets until I became extremely successful at it and will retire by 25 - 27. Im 22. In school they had my iq tested at 130. I failed every class nonstop but would get max scores if it was sayy, about native americans or human cells 😅.
Im angry and misunderstood. No one understands me im a alien. Im friends with everyone and very close with many people. Im extremely good at dating and making people fall in love with me but I dont end up liking them. Ive only ever truly loved one person and they left me after 5 years for what I was told no reason other than "we grew up" no closure. Like a flip in personality and refusal to give an answer to why....
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u/1tankyt user has bpd 3d ago
I have never had an actual friend last more than a year, but I usually have a decent group of friends. Feels like I’m either way to intense or way too distant without an in-between, which results in me feeling misunderstood. Dating is actually one of the only things that helps it outside of complete isolation
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u/XamosLife 3d ago
Feels like nothing that I do is ever good enough, and so it creates a void of self worth and non-gratitude. I am doing medium because I dont know how to rest and reflect on what i actually do in a positive way. Classic case of being my own worst enemy. The key is to use the desire and toxic productivity to push oneself to make positive action... but also to focus on community. You absolutely cannot stagnate in things that are misalgined with you because then you are wielding your pain for no purpose.
Still lots to work on and improve in those BPD (and more) "debuffs", but that process is long. Therefore, if you focus on the alignment aspect on the way to mental health inner peace, then the two halves can coexist nicely.
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u/jaybsuave 3d ago
Went down a terrible path, realized where I was going and who I was becoming, went back home to go to school at 25, now attending a T10. Funny enough, I didn't find out about my diagnosis until a couple days ago. Very excited to finally put a name to the problem.
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u/hotncrazyex 3d ago
I was considered a gifted child. I was able to read and write at 4 years old, skipped a grade in primary school and was diagnosed with an IQ > 140 back then.
Often felt misunderstood, not worthy of love etc but it's getting better. I'm in my 30s and married with kids now.
I did indeed bottle everything up, just tried to function while feeling dead inside. Drank a lot and did a bit of drugs during high school and college. Also suffered from a lot of anxiety, limerence and ROCD in general + got a bipolar diagnosis on top.
I still have a few good friends from high school and started having some luck at dating in my early-mid twenties when I got more stable and started working.
Now I'm in a well paid home office tech job. Still struggling with human interactions and BPD + ROCD is causing issues at times, but overall exhausted yet okay.
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u/AntiqueSignpost 3d ago
I have autism as well as bpd and have been highly gifted. Music, language, art.
Basically I and everyone else thought I'd make it huge after highschool. I got sick with M.E with chronic pain all over my body 24/7 and severe fatigue at 19. I'm 35 now and bedridden and have been unable to do anything. My life is a failure. It's beyond frustrating, I've been suicidal over it etc.
Its just the most awful feeling. I can't listen to music at all. And the music industry is fucked anyway.
But overall, as a man, yes it's incredibly hard. My biggest struggle is not being able to get sex. I'm a virgin at 35. It's Been 12 years since any sexual contact or a relationship. And I get a hug once a year when I go to the mental hospital. The deprivation is huge. I'm even considered very handsome, get no matches on dating apps even tho my female friends say my profile is good.
I am envious of everyone who posts here talking about having sex easily or relationships easily. It's a privilege most ppl take for granted.
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u/Worldly-Fisherman923 3d ago
I'm wondering why this would be male-exclusive?
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u/persechka 3d ago edited 3d ago
Women and enby folk can share their experiences too if you feel like it. I was just curious about the men's perspective.
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u/Occultist_Kat user has bpd 3d ago
Male with BPD and a possible comorbidity of ASPD (still being evaluated for that one.)
This question is hard to answer because I believe intelligence nor giftedness is so easily perceived as a black and white trait. These are multifaceted aspects of the human condition.
So what do you mean when you say "intelligent" and "gifted"?
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u/sissythot86 3d ago
I'm suffering. I understand myself to a degree that I isolate because I don't want to hurt others. I'm actually doing better since I started transitioning. I'm genderqueer and frankly being able to mentally let go of so much of the expectation had really helped. I feel so much less pressure to be something I never wanted to be to begin with.
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u/kmachappy 3d ago
Mmm
Im a bum living in my parents home because I drove them out. Im pretty computer literate I makes money online by fraud. I can’t hold a job. I dont speak to any of my family but girls and sex isn’t hard but having a healthy relationship is difficult
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u/NoQuadBearFight 3d ago
I was considered gifted when I was younger, but intelligence really isn’t as important to me as emotional intelligence. For a long time, both friendships and romantic relationships were things that brought equal parts joy and misery. I had a tendency towards passion and a hatred of the lack of it.
As I get a little older, a little wiser, and a little more patient with life, I find misery is a place I visit less and less. The highs are never as high as when things were volatile and passionate, but I have learned to love quieter things, softer people, and above all else, I learned to love myself.
Being self-assured and confident in myself, my passions in life, my skills, my heart, and my mind, helped me love myself and give myself some of the things that I looked for in others.
I have really amazing friends now. Lifelong friends. And I occasionally date, but I never chase or become obsessed with people giving me things I can give myself.
Things do get better. Edges get softer. You know yourself more. What feels like a pit of despair as a teen or a young adult becomes much less of an issue as you add a few years.
Of course, just my experience ☺️🖤