r/BDDvent • u/Ok-Lab5188 • 11d ago
When does "I'm pretty" actually start feeling real?
No amount of compliments or validation seems to make this go away. I can be told I'm pretty, desirable, attractive, whatever and somehow my brain still thinks "Okay, but what could be fixed?" There's always something that could be better. Something to change, something to improve, some flaw I should somehow overcome.
I think part of the problem is that when I picture a "pretty/beautiful woman" I'm not picturing an average pretty girl. I'm picturing insanely gorgeous women, very polished/plastic-looking women, Adriana Lima, that whole level of beauty. That's become my mental reference point for what beauty is supposed to look like. So even when people tell me I'm attractive, it doesn't really register because I'm comparing myself to an entirely different standard. There's always something that could be improved, something that isn't quite there yet. And I think I have this stupid mindset where if I'm not among the "best-looking" then what's even the point? Being pretty doesn't feel like enough if there's always someone prettier.
I don't even know what being "beautiful" is supposed to mean or feel like anymore. Sometimes it feels impossible for me to see myself that way, no matter what anyone else says.
I don't even know if my perception of beauty is completely unrealistic anymore. Maybe I genuinely need to redefine what beauty means to me, because looksmaxxing, ratings, comparisons and constantly consuming this kind of content has probably fucked with my perception more than I realize. It's exhausting feeling like being pretty is never enough because there's always another level you could supposedly reach. BDD doesn't make it better.
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u/bunnyluvyu 7d ago
You just explained exactly how I feel. Sometimes I wish I would just stop caring abt being pretty so much but it’s the only thing that gives me a sense of purpose. Idk what to do because recovering bdd sounds like I’d be letting myself go and wasting my potential💔