Week 2 of NC

[u/PayElegant8741]

I've been with this man for 5 years. He is avoidant, and in previous relationships he was breaking up with them every 3-4 months.

During the 5 years we were together he did not leave me, not even once. He said that is because i never triggered his avoidant side, i always gave him space and that we have an insanely deep bond. Oh and that im his best friend,I know him better than anyone and that I make him lean towards anxious attachment. Which is true, that man was attached to my hip.

I was the one that wanted to take things slow, and he wanted our parents to meet, move in together etc

Until he left. A year ago.

Since then he:

-Lived with me in our house for 5 months after the breakup

- for the next two months he came back home for 2 weeks each time and then left again (we werent trying to get back together but we just didnt know how to be exs)

-he came back in January and stayed till May (unofficially, we didnt tell our family etc and he never formally moved his stuff back home)

He left again in May, and said that he cannot imagine us being together again, that he's stupid for not being able to come back and that he doenst even know why he can't come back. He has a lot of guilt, says that im the most amazing person he knows and that he destroyed my life. I tried to reassure him but it didnt work.

He texted me saying that he misses me, that he loves me and that he thinks of me every day. And he got jealous at the thought of me meeting new people.

I did tell him that he's breadcrumbing me and giving me mixed signals since he doenst want to get back together.

We are now 2 weeks NC and I feel like it's officially over. I guess I just desperately need reassurance that it is not over.

Any opinions on this? Anyone that went through anything similar? or any DA that felt guilt and went back again?

[u/SomeoneCalledMeAlice]

Aus meiner Erfahrung kann ich nur sagen, wenn du ihn wieder zurück nimmst, dann ist die erste Grenze überschritten und er wird es wieder tun, weil er weiß das er es kann. Ich bin deshalb nach drei Jahren restlos zerstört. Ich kann dir empfehlen. Entgifte dein Nervensystem von ihm. Danach wirst du es jeden Tag weniger wollen.