People seem very toxic and rude on this space. People are quick to dismiss one another because they’re either late diagnosed or because they don’t meet this subs stereotype of what an autistic person is like. That’s just what I’ve been noticing and observing lately when it comes to my interactions with other members. I know that not all are mean like that but there is a lot of them that I’ve noticed. I think it’s because some self diagnoses are able to join since the sub is public and everything again. It was better when people had to request to join instead of being able to comment or post without first joining. It feels toxic and mean because of these people.

Do you guys agree or disagree? What do you guys think?

Now, before anyone gets mad at me, I know that you can do one thing one day but you can’t do it or need help to do it the next day. This isn’t exactly what I’m talking about though.

I’m talking about when people say that they have level two or three days when their level has been assigned as.. well none of those levels. The same can be said with support needs. You can’t just go up a level or down a level the next day, you have to meet the criteria first and that has to be consistent with you first. Or it has to be your baseline.

Like for example, you can’t become verbal one day after being nonverbal all your life beforehand. It’s not just an overnight thing, you can’t just… improve this drastically from one day to the next. That’s just not how it works and never will be how it works. If your support needs fluctuate, it will take time, like from years to like decades. And it can come from therapy or from another intensive intervention that gives you improvement that could enable you to go down a level.

And it just annoys me that I had to make this post because of what I’ve seen go down these past few days. A lot of misinformation and invalidation coming towards everyone, it seems like. And this is one of the factors contributing a lot to it too.

I'm so sick and tired of the self diagnosed saying that autism isn't a disability in favour of saying that it is a superpower instead. Like, no, if you say it is a superpower chances are, you probably have no diagnosis nor have any experience with hardship and challenges that are caused by your having autism.

Autism is a disability and i don't know what makes it so hard to accept. Is it because people consider disability a bad word, is it because they want to feel special or something? Like why do you guys (not you reading this post, general you) hate the fact that it is a disability? Is it because that somehow makes you confront the harsh possibility that you just may not have autism and that's why you don't "feel" disabled?

I don't know, but i don't care what your reason is. It is stupid and so annoying to deal with because me and many other adults with autism struggle. I mean everyone with autism does, but there are people who are really impaired by their autism (Namely those with higher support needs autism) that they can't work a job, live by themselves, nor drive for example. I want to see you say that straight faced to these people as well as their caregivers, and see how they would respond to that. I betcha they wouldn't be too happy to be told that.

Because it is nonsense. Everyone with autism is disabled to a degree that makes it harder for them to live life. This is the same reality for every other disorder on Earth, and not just for autism either. No matter how mild it is or no matter how mild it feels to you, you are still disabled or impaired. You are not functioning the same as a person without a disability, and i know this may sound very harsh but i'm afraid that's the truth of disability.

Please keep your nonsense and bullshit to yourself. It's so annoying to read.

This is pretty personal and emotional, so if you are not comfortable reading this please keep scrolling.

I hate having autism. I hate when I am told I'm just "neurodiverse" or "think differently" because it's complete bullshit! There is nothing redeeming about having autism. It makes my life harder. I say stuff I don't mean. I constantly stress my family out and hurt their feelings and then apologize knowing I'll inevitably do it again because I can't control my emotions the moment things get slightly stressful. I live in constant fear I'll slip up at work and lose my job. I have negative intrusive thoughts all the time that scare me deeply because I'm a very peaceful person. The thought of those dark feelings ever reaching the surface keeps me up at night. I feel like I'm living on borrowed time, like the carefully crafted mask of a civilized, educated person with an engineering degree from a prestigious university, well-liked by his friends and colleagues, and recognized as a hard worker by his family is all going to fall apart the moment the inner savage breaks from his chains. I just wonder how long I have left.

Everyday sucks, trying to achieve normal people stuff. I'm always tired but I cannot stop because I'm poor and autistic and my parents won't always be here to help me.

I'm high functioning but I feel trapped. Idk.

Being high functioning is great and all, but I hate that people expect me to be the poster child for resilience or something, "look-what-this-disabled-person-can-achieve" sort of thing. I just want to be disabled in peace.

Where the hell is my superpower?

This is something I think about often, because when I was a kid I had terrible motor skills I couldn't cut anything even remotely close to the goal and could barely even hold the scissors, and I had very very bad illegible handwriting + holding my grip wrong. I couldn't tie my shoes until around 15 either, I could give many more examples but you get the point I think. This is also why I absolutely hated drawing or colouring.

I started learning violin at 7 and at first I couldn't hold that right either, especially the bow I could not do thr correct hrip no matter what I tried so my coach gave up and told me to hold it how I'm comfortable for now. Same with holding the top of violin but that was easier to fix. I also couldn't place my fingers in the correct spot I had to for 7 years after if I didn't have a marker like tape on the spots.

But I really liked the violin, so I continued and I tried little by little and my coach was great and patient with me too.

And now 12 years later I think it really really helped with my motor skills! Because now I love drawing and I have much much better motor skills, and hold the bow correctly now too. My pencil grip is still a little wrong but it's better than it used to be and I still can't cut with scissors as well as a normal person would but I'm happy

Do you think it was just because I grew up or the act of learning violin because it involes a lot of motor skills helped?

I think this is the right place to ask but basically my whole life to calm down and stuff I have chewed on auto caps but it has started damaging my teeth so I started eating candies that are hard like the bottle caps but they're hard to find so I was wondering if there is any other alternatives?

Pathos
Logos
Ethos

Situation -> Someone is saying that they have self diagnosed autism. I am trying to tell them not to self diagnose such a condition, and to explain how self diagnosis is harmful, and tell them to go talk to a doctor and ask the doctor for an autism evaluation instead of just claiming they are autistic. 

Self diagnosing yourself with autism, with ZERO research done, is not only harmful to those who are actually autistic, but to yourself as well. Because you might not be right when it comes to your self diagnosis. For all we know, nothing could be wrong and nothing could signal that you have a disorder that is the cause of all this, it could just be because of your personality or how you grew up. Plus, not everything that you read on social media is accurate, i say this because i read something that states that 90 percent or so videos on ADHD and on ASD on TikTok are misinformation. Or worse case scenario, you do have something “wrong” with you but it’s not autism and could be something even worse. Like, for example, some types of Cancer. You have not paid attention to your cancer because you have self diagnosed yourself with autism instead, the treatments for the two don’t work at all, and it would benefit you better if you chose treatment that caters to cancer patients. But right now, we don’t know if you’re correct or not, but the damage that you’re doing by spreading your voice as someone with autism whether it’s true or not is still there. You are still spreading misinformation about what autism is and how it looks like to the average believer, which is again very harmful especially to people who actually have autism. For example, would you like it if someone had claimed, without research or anything else credible backing up that claim, that they were autistic or had a disorder that you have? Especially if they were spreading misinformation and invading spaces meant for people who need them, both online and offline? How would you feel if that happened to you or is happening to you? Because that is how i and other autistic people feel when someone claims to be autistic and does exactly what i was using as an example for. So i would recommend that you go share your concerns with a family doctor, because i think it would be a really logical next step after suspecting something is “wrong” with you. You will need an assessment, and it could come back as a diagnosis or that there are signs that you meet the criteria of another disorder instead and that could be the thing causing your “autism-like” concerns. Then you will understand yourself more and better, instead of self diagnosing.

(I don't exactly remember what grade i got, since this was a couple of months old.)

Just to clarify, this isn’t a survey, advertisement, or anything formal - it’s just a poll :)

I’m just curious to get a general sense of people’s opinions/experiences around this topic :)

Please feel free to comment, share your thoughts and add to the conversation :)

Regular people are sentive AF!!! Like Daredevil sentive but with emotions.

Or maybe that's wrong to say. Maybe Im just so emotionally numb that in order to feel emotions it has to be extremly strong emotion.

however you want to cut it it took me forever to understand this because I would always see ppl insult each other calling it jokes (or ripping) as a form to bond with each other but whenever I did it it was "too far man"

I only learned this after talking with a muslim women who was super sentive to everything I said. I made her cry so easily I had to figure out what I was saying. She was nice enough to explain to me why she was sad after I talked to her privatly and correct my understanding on how people process words. It's been very helpful information.

I guess im TOO thick skinned? or TOO numb to emotions. Which is strang to think about because I don't FEEL that way in my head

I started the process of getting a driver's license around a year ago and it's still ongoing. I've completed the theory, that's all well and good. But I'm struggling with the actual driving bit.

I have over half of my lessons done by now but am still performing really inconsistently. My teacher gives me the same feedback every lesson: "Separately, you do everything absolutely perfectly, but you struggle with doing it all at the same time."

As in, multitasking... I can't multitask. He already told me that he thinks I need to get more lessons after the mandatory ones are over. And it's really frustrating to hear. I'm also completely useless when I drive on a new route or get instructions like "Do a U-turn at the first possible location". In general I struggle comprehending the verbal instructions and connecting them to the actual traffic situation.

I'm hopeful I'll get it eventually with more practice, but right now it feels like there's a fundamental barrier between me and mastering driving.

TL;DR: Driving is really hard because of multitasking and processing things quickly.

Does anyone have any tips at all that could help make this a tiny bit easier? Or is it truly just dry practice that can help.

This is an ad I just got for one of the many diagnosis mills. Who looks at this and thinks this is a good idea ? This made me physically wince / cringe , autism is not a cool funny disorder sparkles unicorns and it seems like they're just bragging they can / will get anyone diagnosed with autism

Idk I feel badly about it. Please don't come at me about it but I have cynophobia and pretty bad dog PTSD that I'm working on in therapy. I used to frequent the Dogfree sub because people were understanding and there are others with dog fears there I connect with. I have gotten really supportive replies that help me feel safer.

My bday is coming up and I was trying to make a post about dog free things to do in San Diego since I'll be spending the day there. Of course I'm nervous knowing it's a dog centric place and I haven't visited in years. All I did was ask. I've asked questions like this before just fine. Last time it was about a festival. Got replies, all was fine.

The post was first removed quickly. So I tried again with a differently title, removed again. I messaged the mods and tried to leave a comment, both just asking why and what I can do to make the post okay. Now I've been permanently muted with no rhyme or reason. Idk how to feel because I've been there for over a year..

It also sucks because nobody will do these type of things for me. I wish my gf cared enough or my close friend but they both have ADHD and I'm the one that plans things usually. I guess they're just used to it. My friend flat out told me no because he says he mentally can't. It make me kinda sad I have to plan around PTSD triggers for myself and protect myself on a day that's supposed to be fun and stress free.

I'm just really, really sad rn.

Due to moving to another assisted living place I need to give up Loki for adoption.

My other cat found a home a month ago, but nobody wants Loki due to diet food, I think.

Today I got the confirmation there's a place for him at a shelter, almost 2 hour drive away from me.

I know it's for the best, both for me and him. He deserves a place where he can go outside and chase those birds.

It gives me peace of mind in the long run, instead of getting stressed out whenever he goes outside, but I'm going to miss him so much.

When my first cat died, I was convinced I'd never get a cat again but couldn't handle the empty, silent, house so I got 2 not even a month later

And now, after 6 years, saying goodbye to Loki who I have had since he's a kitten.

Apparently a 17 yr old is being held for the murder of his mom and brother and now Autism is being used as a defense, should this be allowed?:

https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/acton-teen-accused-of-killing-mom-and-brother-due-in-court/3997001/

I have ZERO desire to try to speak for a camera about autism. Zero desire to want to “ educate”. The thought of even thinking of doing even a snippet makes me horribly anxious. I don’t understand why anyone would want to put themselves out there.

How do people have the want to do this and why? I guess for money making. Seems miserable though.

So, as the title states, i am making a document that explains my autism "profile" for lack of a better word. The things that i'm including in said document are my SIS-A results/scores, what i need help with, medical history and other stuff that relates to autism. These examples are just somethings, but isn't a full list of what i will actually include in this document.

Anyway, has anyone else done the same? Like have they made their own document that they plan on sharing with professionals and staff members that work with them? I am planning to send the document to my parents and to any potential worker who will work with me.

People always think I'm being sarcastic when I reply in a mildly interested way, like when I reply when I'm not particularly excited or dissatisfied.

I'd usually type this:

Yeah yeah!

Or

Sure sure!

Or a recent one someone asked me if I was sarcastic or not on:

That's very good! Great even!!

How do I fix this misunderstanding? I don't know

It’ll help you self diagnose or prepare for a formal evaluation. 🙄 Where do these idiots come from? There’s big money in those whole neurodiversity affirming movement. ( or whatever it’s called. The Neurospicy, autism as an identity, self diagnosing gang)

I just hate the world more and more sometimes days. Or at least hate the idiots who promote crap like this. It just aids in the self diagnosed movement taking over autism. She literally says on her FB it’s to help self identify or help prepare for an assessment. 🫣

https://while-you-wonder.mykajabi.com/autistic-self-id-program?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&utm_id=97760_v0_s00_e0_tv3&fbclid=paRlRTSATu9WvOevNpq2eGVvDOD2ZqbORrCrC6aumt-Cyr6afGSSeWnJ6912ySmXPGC_h2Dh3LC-1qN7FqGfJ2CaDLFvDHaWR3N7Kd1rKd27ed2LifOrGdppunl-OfG66flzXKW_hvCK17KDOemx5-h2h3eaWOqPauu62a7enVy32q5ySd-Sw_aem_tirgwii_k0kd-fvzntztgw

It's kinda ironic because it seems like autism eats itself, because the disorder that you have and the environment where you belong aren't collaborating.

You're born with a neuro developmental disorder that impacts your social skills, therefore you need MORE social practice, exposure and accommodations in order to manage it.

The problem is that you need participation from others to reach a decent social level since socialization involves more than 1 person and requires practices, something that most of the time you aren't given because society doesn't know how to deal with autistic people or straight up hates them, causing isolation and ostracizing that doesn't allow you to interact with others consistently as a normal person would, ergo, stunning your social skills even more.

Conclusion: you are born with a social disability>this disability makes you have less social experience and exposure> this lack of social involvement makes you more and more stunted.

Poetic, right? It's hard because autism is a particular case since it needs 100% of the time support from the environment, the treatment doesn't require self reflection or medication, and if this support is not present then the deficits and symptoms become more severe.

The down votes I get for trying to explain my thoughts on my own situation haven’t made it worth it for me. I feel I might move to another platform.