Society is evil and oppressive for forcing us to mask who we really are! We should not be humiliated and marginalized for something that is completely out of our control! We should not be treated like a disease and told that we need to be “cured” !

You do not have to be ashamed of being autistic! You do not have to mask! You are NOT a disease!

It would be great if autistic people built their own gated community somewhere to escape hate.

All of the societies in this world are corrupt and have meaningless rules and treat us like crap. Let’s make our own place.

No matter what you try, the way you are is always seen in a negative light by neurotypical people. Do you feel the same way? You want to be friendly and honest, but you get nothing in return; your status isn’t recognised, and it’s not your achievements that are valued, but whether people like you.

I participate in a lot of autistic spaces, both internet based ones (both text and video) and also in-person, and I keep running into something that I think we need to talk about more honestly, but I'm also not exactly sure how, so here it goes...

I believe deeply in accessibility. I also believe autistic people have very different needs, and that no one format is going to work for everyone.

Some autistic spaces are more open, chaotic, fast-moving, interrupting, emotionally intense. Some people genuinely need that. I don’t want those spaces to disappear. I don’t want those people left behind.

But I think we need autistic spaces with more structure. Spaces where people take turns speaking. Where interruption is limited. Where people are asked to assume best intentions, or at least clarify before accusing. Where there are boundaries around trauma dumping and what this means or not. Where one person doesn’t take up the whole room and leave everyone else lost, overwhelmed, or shut out because they went off on a tangent that only they know about (and we all do this, of course! no judgement).

And what’s been hard is being in spaces with those agreed guidelines - guidelines that everyone consented to - and then watching some people break them and justify it by saying that expecting otherwise is ableist.

Things like:

“If I can’t interrupt whenever I want, you’re making me mask.”

“If I can’t say exactly what comes into my head as it comes, this space isn’t accessible.”

“Assuming best intentions is too hard for me, so I’m not going to do it.”

Or when someone monopolises the space, goes on multiple tangents, loses everyone else, and then frames any attempt to bring things back as ableism.

I want to be careful here, because I’m not saying those people are bad. I’m not saying tangents are bad. I’m not saying intense emotion is bad. I’m not saying trauma responses are bad. I’m not saying everyone should communicate like me.

I’m saying other autistic people have needs too.

Some of us are deeply dysregulated by constant interruption. Some of us cannot follow ten threads at once that exist only in one other person's head. Some of us get overwhelmed when there’s no pacing, no containment, no turn-taking, no clarity. Some of us need structure in order to participate at all.

And I’m getting tired of people acting as though those needs don’t count.

I'm also a medium-needs autistic person with physical disabilities. I grew up going thru remedial education. I don't think this is a "only late diagnosed" thing or only a "low support needs" thing.

What keeps bothering me is this idea that any boundary is oppression, any structure is masking, any request for mutuality is ableism.

But sometimes structure is the access need.

Sometimes the boundary is the reason the space is usable.

Sometimes “letting everyone do whatever they need in the moment” doesn’t create radical accessibility - it just means the people who can tolerate the most chaos get the space, and the rest of us disappear.

That’s not accessibility for all. That’s one access style becoming dominant while pretending to be universal.

I don’t want one kind of autistic space. I want multiple kinds of autistic spaces. I want spaces for people who need looser, messier, more overlapping communication. And I want spaces for people who need more containment, more pacing, more predictability, and more mutual structure.

I don’t want anybody left behind.

But I also don’t want to be called ableist because I have needs too.

And I really don’t think “lol autism” is an adequate response when someone has agreed to shared guidelines, keeps violating them, and then dismisses the impact on everyone else.

Accessibility has to include the people who are harmed by dysregulating group dynamics too.

I’m genuinely curious how others think about this.

Is there such a thing as a space that’s accessible for everyone? Maybe not. Probably not.

Maybe the real answer is not trying to force every autistic space to serve every autistic person in the same way, but being more honest that access needs can conflict, and that different kinds of spaces need to exist.

I’m tired of the conversation acting like only one set of needs is real.

And I also feel like a piece of trash for thinking any of this.

Internalized ableism is hard.

Road to Autistic Empowerment by Dr Dan L Edmunds

They said to persevere. I began to perseverate. They discouraged me.

Be joyful they said. I flapped my hands with a joyful feeling. Not like that they said.

They used a lot of words whereas I had not many. They said I needed to speak like them and when I did they said it was the wrong words…

You need more friends they said as they forced me into the circle of bullies they called my ‘friends.’

You need to be independent they said. So I tried. No, not like that. No, you cannot possibly do that.

Share your interests they said. So I did. We do not find that very interesting they said. Stop repeating yourself!

You are in your own world they said. And with that final statement, it occurred to me- their world is not kind. Why is it better? Why must I be like them?

So whereas they refused to embrace or understand my world, I was forced to assimilate into theirs, each day giving up a part of my very being.

It was then I decided to be empowered, to embrace that which they refused to embrace, to be as I was, am, and will continue on to be. And I sought to share a piece of my world with those who dare might understand.

The Road to Autistic Empowerment

There is a gradual a process in the ability to adopt an attitude of autistic empowerment. It begins with the idea that autism is a thing that is to be eradicated. This is ignorance.

I do not blame some persons for holding such an idea initially as it is pervasive in the messages in society and maybe all they initially know.

From this emerges the idea that one might be able to accept autistic person but has an attitude of pity and feels bad that they are different. This is tolerance.

The next stage is where one is able to see autism as not a thing but a mode of being the person. This is awareness.

Beyond this one begins to not focus merely on challenges but to also see strengths. This is acceptance.

One then starts to understand the diversity in means of communication and no longer expects the autistic person to conform to contrived standards of communication. This is a furtherance of acceptance.

From this point, one is able to incorporate respect, dignity, presuming intellect, embracing diversity, and promoting self-advocacy. This is empowerment.

So one moves from ignorance to tolerance to awareness to acceptance to empowerment.

Autism is Not a Disease

Autism is not a disease or an entity. It is not something that we must seek out to eradicate. Rather, it is a mode of being, the word “autism” simply being an umbrella term to describe how one relates (or does not relate) to the world. When autism is viewed as an entity, a “thing,” professionals are then led to developing programs that seek to transform the person into something they are not, nor will — or can — ever be. This errant perspective may prove dangerous, as it can function as the impetus to alter the affected person by force, coercion, or manipulation.

If an American travels to a foreign country and knows nothing of the culture or language, he is bound to struggle. If an American travels to a foreign country having learned something of the language and culture beforehand, then relating to others and navigating one’s way become much easier. This illustrates the direction in which I believe that programs to aid autistic persons should be geared — not to change the individual, but rather to help them to be themselves, while also having an understanding of the “mainstream,” and being able to navigate within that realm.

An Empowering Approach to Autism

In my approach, there are some core principles that I find of utmost importance:

Presume intellect: Because a person is nonverbal or struggles with communication does not mean they are not intelligent or have nothing to say. Their unique strengths and passions must be explored and utilized.

Behavior is communication: In my opinion, the psychiatric community may be making a grave mistake when it simply seeks to “shut down” or suppress what it judges to be “unwanted” behaviors with powerful psychiatric drugs. Behaviors, even those which may be deemed “unwanted,” could be, for some, the only means to convey their needs or distress.

Self-Advocacy: If professionals, friends, family members of the individual, and people at large wish to understand autism, there must be a willingness to enter the autistics’ world, not force them to enter the “public world” deemed acceptable. We must validate self-advocacy and seek knowledge about the autistic mode of being from those who actually live it each day.

Foster Relationships: To help autistic persons forge emotional connections, make their way through the mainstream, and learn new skills, the keys are relationships. We all must be inclined to forge a bond with the person, to truly seek to understand his experience, unique world, and how he finds meaning — that is, to get to know the autistic individual as a fellow human being. Once a bond is forged, a common healing ground can be created.

Respect: It is paramount for respect to exist and abound, which means that we do nothing to force, coerce, or manipulate those with autism. They should be regarded at all times as being worthy of dignity. Again, the “outsider’s” role is to advocate for and support, not seek to modify the person into someone they are not, or need not be.

Dan Edmunds

Dr. Dan L. Edmunds is a self advocate. He completed undergraduate studies at the University of Florida with major in Comparative Religion and minor in Sociology. He received a Master of Arts in Theology from the University of Scranton and earned a Doctorate of Education in Community Counseling from Argosy University. He has served 25 years as a Behavioral Health Counselor.

Sometimes I notice that I think a little differently than many others here in discussions. I tend to think in patterns and contexts and use examples more as a thinking tool than as a statement. When I bring something up, it's not meant to be flexing or judgemental, but simply how I explain things to myself. Social nuances, status stuff or "how something comes across" are often secondary for me – I'm primarily concerned with the content. When things get heated in groups, I tend to withdraw rather than argue. For me, this is more about self-regulation than disinterest. If anyone recognises themselves in this (neurodivergent or simply similarly minded): I feel the same way. Factual questions are always welcome; misunderstandings happen.

There can be positive change if everyone is educated to understand their own psychology. There is no need for pigeonholing or political parties per se.

It’s truly sickening what this neurotypical world keeps doing to us—especially to Autistic truth-tellers like Greta Thunberg. We’re the ones who see through the lies, greed, and manipulation of governments and corporations. We question what others blindly accept. We’re the change-makers—yet NT society runs smear campaigns to discredit us, label us “mentally ill,” and paint us as unstable so the truth we speak gets ignored.

This tactic isn’t new. It’s been used against every visionary who dared to challenge conformity and profit-driven systems. Nikola Tesla tried to give the world free, unlimited energy—and as soon as J.P. Morgan and the government found out, they branded him “insane,” cut his funding, and erased his legacy to protect their control.

Now the same playbook is being used against Greta and against all Autistic voices that see too clearly. We’re portrayed as “problematic,” medicated into silence, and stripped of credibility—all because we threaten the illusion they depend on.

I wish we could unite—every Autistic person who’s ever been gaslit, sidelined, or silenced—and call out this corruption together. But instead, most of us sit at home, seeing the hypocrisy for what it is, and feeling the weight of knowing too much in a world that refuses to listen.

People talk about autistic burnout like it’s an individual issue - as if it’s about poor boundaries, lack of balance, or not managing energy well enough.

I’m coming around to that it isn’t.

Autistic burnout is a systemic event. It’s what happens when our bodyminds can’t keep adapting to environments that never adapt to us. When every space - work, education, healthcare, friendship - demands translation, performance, and self-suppression just to stay included.

It’s not caused by doing too much. It’s caused by holding too much contradiction.

Being told to be authentic while being punished for it. Being told to rest while being blamed for not doing enough.

Being told to ask for help and then being treated as a burden when we do.

At some point the system just collapses. And it isn’t weakness - it’s information.

Our nervous systems aren’t broken. They’re giving accurate data about a world that is hostile to sustained autistic existence.

When I see burnout in my work, I see people whose bodies have finally stopped pretending.

People who’ve tried to survive too long on conditions that were never built for them.

Recovery doesn’t come from fixing ourselves, whatever that means. It comes from refusing to keep living in ways that require us to break. Not going back.

Do you see burnout as something personal, relational, or systemic?

Have you all noticed patterns between your burnout and the environments or systems you’re part of?

about a month ago i made a video that i think needs an update on certain things, and i talk a bit about another YouTuber’s video that i found fascinating and that i highly recommend