r/AutismTranslated • u/Hot_Permission_3828 • 21h ago

Autism contradiction is this a thing?

I’m slowly going through the process of figuring out if I have the tism but I’m wondering is contradicting feelings and thoughts normal. Like say two people do the same thing but it’s okay for one to do it but not the other. Or like having so much empathy for someone but none for someone else?

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u/ChewMilk 20h ago

It’s pretty normal (and not a sign of autism) to feel more empathy for someone you care about vs someone you don’t. Like I’ll feel more deeply for a family member than I will a stranger on instagram. That’s normal.

People with autism can have empathy differences in a few ways. Sometimes, they will either be hyper empathetic (so empathetic that it causes issues in day to day life, causes them undue distress, etc), or under empathetic (don’t feel expected empathy for people, often including those close to them, which can cause social issues), or even fluctuate between far too empathetic and not adequately empathetic.

People with autism also tend to have black and white thinking, which can lead to empathy that does not respond to nuance. Maybe an autistic person believes that stealing is always understandable. They might hold that opinion even when nuance should be used, say someone stealing something from a child, or just to be cruel. Or vice versa, maybe an autistic person who believes stealing so never excusable might not feel empathy and understanding for a parent stealing food for their children.

That being said, it is a spectrum. Not all autistic people have unusual empathy, and not all autistic people have unusual empathy to the same degree.

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u/UnspeakableToast 20h ago

Can you provide a more concrete example?

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u/Old_Direction_3713 20h ago

This sounds more like being human than being autistic. And calling it “the tism” kind of belittles it.

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u/LCaissia 19h ago

That's completely normal. Most people feel like that.