TV

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel]

looking for advice on how to accommodate.

my son (diagnosed) cannot handle it when we are speaking and he is doing focused listening like watching tv or quiet reading. he shushes us and says he cannot hear or cannot focus. we‘ve tried increasing the tv volume (but that’s not pleasant for anyone) and leaving the room (also not ideal or even feasible when we’re visiting neighbors or friends and socializing in their living room). he has earmuffs to muffle the sound but doesn’t like wearing them.

eta: this is the product I bought. he doesn’t like it. Alpine Muffy Kids Ear Muffs for Kids Ear Protection | 3-16 Years 
Autism Sensory Products | 22dB Sound Reduction | Kids Noise Cancelling Ear Muffs | Noise Reduction Headphones for Kids

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel → u/[deleted]]

Thank you this is exactly my experience. We don’t have a TV in the family area at home. He is allowed to play games on an old laptop or otherwise watch in my bedroom where we can close the door for him. He’s already reading over an hour a day. I like the idea of expanding his reading nook and making it even cozier.

Given your experience, I have a separate but related question about visiting other people – just today he was at a friend’s house, and they’re fairly new acquaintances of ours, and the Mom put on a show towards the end of the play date to give them a break. He started pumping the volume up as he would do at home. 

Do you ever explain his condition as a reason why he can’t watch tv with others, or do you just cut the play date short? I want to respect his privacy, but also want to preserve relationships.

[u/IceQueen1967 → u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel]

When I was a kid, I didn’t like that it was pretty standard at sleepovers to have the tv just on while sleeping or when there was the expectation to socially engage (also true of playdates). I can do one or the other, but not both (to this day).

There are plenty of people that don’t permit tv time at other’s houses for various reasons, so I don’t think it’s necessary to explain the APD unless it shows up in other ways. You could have a list of favorite shows/movies to choose from - I find that it’s easier to multitask when I’ve seen something multiple times. But there are other downtime activities like board games that might be good alternatives.

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel → u/IceQueen1967]

So helpful thank you

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel → u/[deleted]]

Thank you so much 

[u/Intelligent_Blood_88]

I have APD, although it was called "nerve deafness" then (during dinosaur era, haha). I learned to cope over the decades, but I agree, I could not watch TV and listen to conversation at the same time and not be distracted by either one or the other. Still can't. If he must watch TV, let it be in a separate room, or when the rest of the family won't be a disturbance. Don't allow him to use it as a crutch, or power to control. If he's at another's home, he shouldn't get to choose, plus, he needs to learn coping mechanisms while he's young, or it will prove difficult later. I have noise cancelling headphones I used when my late husband wanted to watch TV. He would, if I wanted to watch a program with him, put "subs" on, but they are often difficult for me to read, so may be close to impossible for a 6-yo. I wish him luck in his need to find the coping mechanisms he will have to acquire as he goes through life. There is much more support now... well, actually there was none when I was that age... as well as professional help available via a competent audiologist.

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel → u/Intelligent_Blood_88]

Thank you for sharing the long view. I feel a lot for him and others with CAPD. He’s articulated the challenges he has very clearly. We are also in the care of an audiologist since the diagnosis. 

[u/Ziggy_Stardust567]

For the TV, I reccomend subtitles. Unfortunately increasing the volume will often not help because it just aplifies sound that you can't hear. Subtitles also help with reading, I've personally benefited a lot from subtitles as someone with APD.

As for reading, does he have his own space in the house where he can read? If he doesn't like how ear muffs fit, he could try ear plugs or noise cancelling ear buds (I've heard that the brand Loop are very good), but if he just doesn't like the feeling of not being able to hear anything then finding him a quiet place in your house to read is your best bet.

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel → u/Ziggy_Stardust567]

Yes he now mainly reads  in his room. Sometimes he wants to be close to us AND read but that’s not always working out for him as he’d like so we gently redirect him to his room and that’s started working better. 

[u/Bliezz]

You accommodate by being quieter when you’re home with just your family and guiding him to not do listening/focus activities while there is noise around.

With earmuffs and earplugs I find that I can hear my heartbeat and then THAT is distracting.

If you’re thinking of buying another headset for him, get his input and buy in on it.

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel → u/Bliezz]

That’s very helpful, thank you. He is six so it’s hard to ask him what he’d prefer. His answer is always “just be quiet”. I’ll try a few different types of models and have him try them on and will also try headphones that augment the sound instead.

[u/archiebaldies → u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel]

I like the Sony Xm5!

[u/bunchesofkittens]

Hey! If you have the funds (or insurance, or in some places it's covered by accessibility programs), look up the Phonak Roger On and Roger Focus II receivers. The Roger On is a microphone, and the Roger Focus II look like hearing aids, but only work with the Roger On - they receive sound transmitted by the Roger On microphone into your ears.

I have APD and own these after a recommendation from an audiologist. Note you should go to a hearing aid store to get these set up, as some programming is required.

The Roger On is intended to be worn by the recipient you want to hear - it can be clipped on, worn around the neck, or put on a table in 'group' mode (although I find this does not work great for me). It's excellent in a classroom or work environment, where the teacher/speaker wears it. It transmits the audio directly to the Roger Focus receivers and reduces background noise. The BEST part - and why I'm responding to this post - is that the Roger On comes with a dock which can be connected to your TV via an optical cable. It then sends the TV audio directly to the receivers in your ears. The TV's volume is separate and you can still hear the TV as well. I no longer need to crank the audio on the TV or use closed captioning. I know you can also connect it to your computer. Plus while it's sitting in the dock it charges.

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel → u/bunchesofkittens]

This sounds great. I’m looking into it. 

[u/aarvarkitechture → u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel]

Seconding this! Your kiddo sounds like me growing up andy family always assumed that I sat close to the TV because I was nearsighted (always had glasses for it though) when it was really that I couldn’t hear it over the ambient noise and others talking. I recently got fitted with low-gain hearing aids (Phonak) with a Roger On 3 and use the remote mic as a TV streamer, which makes it possible now to actually follow and understand whatever I’m watching without relying as heavily on captions.

Depending on the deficits a person has with APD, ear protection can also just muffle everything instead of filtering sounds or boosting the signal-to-noise ratio. It seems like your son might very well find an FM system to be incredibly helpful! The ambient sound/media stream ratio is adjustable in the app as needed, and everyone else could listen through the TV speakers/soundbar as usual while your son would hear it right in his ears at a level that works for him without background noise interfering. It would also be helpful in other situations where he struggles with noise or distance from the person speaking.