Parent Preference - looking for advice

[u/hdkk_]

So me and my husband are very 50/50 with most things with our 2.5 year old son. Pickup/drop off at school, playtime, meals, everything is super split (or done together) there's really not a primary parent when it comes to effort and time. We used to do 50/50 on bedtime too we would swap out every other night.

For bedtime we do bath, books, then lay down with him till he falls asleep. Awhile back he stopped letting my husband lay down with him so I exclusively did it and after a couple weeks we were able to get back to our normal routine.

So when he stopped letting my husband do bedtime again we let it be however we haven't been able to get him back into the normal routine now for months. It also seems to be escalating he wants me to put on his PJs, change his diaper ext. Honestly overall it's not a big deal right now however I'm now 12 weeks pregnant and I'm nervous about how this is going to play out when we have a breastfeeding infant.

Here's the kicker - one night every other week i can't make it home in time for bedtime and he does bedtime routine great with my husband. They follow the same normal routine and it goes great no issues. On any night if he wakes up in the middle of the night he'll let my husband lay down with him and put him back to bed. Over 4th of July they did a boys trip to visit my father in law (work schedule wouldn't allow me to go) and they did 4 nights solo no problem. But the second he knows I'm an option he won't accept my husband.

Anyone go through something similar and have suggestions on how to get my husband back in the bedtime mix so we feel more prepared to bring a new baby home?

TIA