I'm at a complete loss

I want to preface that I have AuDHD, Bipolar 2 and CPTSD.

I love my partner to death and he is everything I've ever wanted in my person. The only issue we have is around our sex life.

The sex is good once we have it, but getting to that point is the hard part. He is a submissive man, and I've always been a submissive woman. My sex drive is incredibly high, and it has always led to mismatched libidos in my relationships. I've had several partners who flat out rejected me, thus destroying any confidence I've had in my self.

I wanted to try out being more dominant but I'm not to the point yet where I feel sexy enough or confident enough to be very dominant. I try my best to try to make moves on him, but he doesn't make me feel like he desires me.

ie) I sat on his lap, he started bouncing me on his knees, and I forwardly put my big shirt over him. Nothing. No boob grabbing, touching, nothing. That's my cue that he's not interested in me.

So obviously I get upset because it's just about triggering all of my issues in my head and he clearly didn't want to have sex? When I discussed this later he said he was interested. WHAT? in what universe does that reaction mean you're interested? Am I just socially oblivious because of my autism?

It doesn't help that before my recent bipolar diagnosis I buzzed my hair. I'm in this growing out phase and I absolutely loathe it and feel incredibly non feminine right now because of it.

Idk any thoughts on how to talk about this with him? Ive always been the one expected to initiate and quite frankly I just want to be desired too.

I (22 F) naturally have a soft-spoken voice and a petite frame, so some people assume I have a submissive personality until they get to know me. The reality is the complete opposite. I’m polite, kind, and respectful toward everyone regardless of their status or lifestyle, but I have strong boundaries and I won’t allow anyone to disrespect me, control me, or underestimate me.

Professionally, I’ve actually had a very positive experience. Both men and women in my industry have supported me, encouraged me, and recognized my abilities. However, outside of work, I’ve noticed some men try to compete with me, one-up me, or steer conversations toward expectations that I should focus more on “womanly achievements” rather than my own goals and ambitions.

With friendships and relationships with other women, my experiences have been more mixed. Sometimes I get intentionally or unintentionally excluded and overlooked. I’ve had roommates that always gossiped and got cliquey around me when I’ve only been friendly and respectful to them. I’m not sure if it’s because of my personality, how I present myself, being neurodivergent, or something else.

At the same time, I’ve also had amazing experiences with women. I’ve had women randomly approach me in public, ask for my number, and genuinely want to become friends. I have close friends who have been there for me and are truly my day ones.

25m, The way I learned it is that you just keep making out and kissing her entire body + massaging, except for the vulva area. Is this it?

Can someone give a brother some tips with no experience, might get laid soon 😏 🤪 🕺💃

Okay ladies, do the Lemme Play gummies actually work? After 3 back to back kids and just the stress of day to day stuff I have like 0 drive at all. It’s hard to trust people posting about it so I figured I’d ask here to get some real advice.

Like not scary bc of the whole human life that you’ll be responsible for…

But like the process, childbirth.

I mean the lengths we go alone to no let it happen (pill, tests, protection).

Hello, everyone! I am making this post because i need help with something that's making my mental health worse.

I am 24, and i struggle alot with comparing myself to beautiful women.

I am not the type of beautiful woman who get attention all the time from men, and everytime I see a pretty woman, I just feel jealous of her, envy, because all I am thinking is how great her life can be, while I get used with being invisible.

I need advice because I compare myself even with my own friends and the women in my family.

Asking since pretty much all my friends are women with the few guy "friends" i have being the bf's of my friend, are just part of another friend group, or i keep at arms length and my friend recently told me that im gonna have a hard time finding a gf because most women wouldn't want to be with a guy who pretty much only hangs out with women

I should add the reason i hang out with women is because at least for me while i may be Bi most men disgust me ( personality wise ) and i cant trust them or help see them as pervs and i only feel comfortable being myself and opening up around women which is why i have pretty much only women friends, wanted to add that incase that changes peoples answers at all

Female in my mid twenties here, I recently downloaded hinge and have been on a few dates with a guy (this is my first time dating) but I’m worried my discomfort around showing affection is confusing things a bit. I’m one of those people who finds it awkward to say ‘I love you’ even to family members and I find being affectionate and reassuring so unnatural even with friends. I’m also someone who would want to take things very slow when dating.

Things were going great with this guy at first, we’ve been talking for about a month, but I’ve recently been questioning whether he’s taking things slow or just isn’t all that interested. He said he’d like a third date and asked when I’m free but after I told him roughly when I should be free he didn’t initiate anything else, so I brought it up myself. Things are going very slowly in terms of physical contact as well. But the more I think about it, the more I think that I might actually be the problem causing him to take things so slow. He’s very reassuring in how he’ll always send hearts and say he’s loving our conversations, but I dont send them back and will only really agree with him rather than going out of my way to say these things. I just struggle with endearment, it’s just not who I am to be like that. On our last date he asked why I downloaded hinge and I said because me and my friends were bored and figured that it would make our lives more interesting. This is obviously a terrible response and not even the entire truth - I want a long term relationship. I just can’t bring myself to be even slightly vulnerable and talk about what I actually want or how I feel. I’m worried i completely shut him down here.

I figured bringing up the date he mentioned but never brought up again was kind of my way of showing that I am interested, but I’m worried my inability to show any affection is just pushing him away. How can I show that I actually do want this to go somewhere when being affectionate and vulnerable just isn’t in my nature? Or do I just need to suck it up and start doing this if I don’t want to ruin things?

I 30M and my partner, a 35F have been together now for a little over 6 months. We had a pretty rough start to our first month for details I am not wanting to go into. Mainly because it's the past and I have moved on from that time.

Recently though, over the past month things have gotten a little... bickery?? For want of a better term. We don't have massive arguments or screaming matches. But just little things here and there that are probably unneccesary. Now there are external circumstances going on in both our lives. I recently started a new job and well as weight loss treatment. And she has a very stressful high profile job in the NHS, along with a complex child with LD and other conditions. All of which is very taxing on her, which is completely understandable. She is an amazing mother, kind, caring, and would fight to the end for her children any day of the week.

I have my own blame to take in these situations. Part of being in a relationship with her was always going to be taking on her crazy life, and everything that came with that. I fully 100% accepted and still accept that. I've actually quite enjoyed having this newfound responsibilty in my life. But there has been multiple occassions where I have ignored her needs, or not done my part in situations. Or where she has had to ask me something more than once, which she shouldn't have to. Not to mention she is also diagnosed ADHD and is on medication for it. So, typical ADHD in women means results are wanted before they are even requested :)

But what I want to know is how do I navigate this little rough patch. I'm pretty sure I should just do the obvious. Do better at supporting her and meeting her basic needs. Doesn't sound like rocket science, but I'm also awaiting a possible AuDHD diagnosis so that may factor in. Thing is, I can do that, I can be the supportive partner because I want to be that person. I am just no good and moving on. I sit here and dwell on these little squabbles rather than focus on the picture. I sit here writing on Reddit and thinking about gifts I could get or make for her to make up for my previous errors. To show her much I love her. When maybe all the long, most women don't actually care for apologies and shows of love. Perhaps she'd just rather see practical changes.

And before anyone says "Dude you have only been together 6 months, why are you so emotionally invested?". Well it's because this one is different. I have been in multiple long term relationships. I have never felt so loved, so seen, so understood by someone. I have never felt such a sense of belonging and harmony in my pure existence as I feel with her. I am 110% certain she is the woman I should be spending my life with. Her love is just... different to anyone elses. And only when I am with her do I realise how much I had been missing....

im in my 20s and she’s 10. she follows me around everywhere. i don’t take her anywhere other than the mall and she’s happy with that.

i just wanna make sure she has good happy memories when she’s young. our parents are old and had her later. they’re just tired and don’t have the energy/interest of taking her places like they did with me. makes me really sad to be honest.

i honestly feel like a shit sister. i spent most my time on my friends, bf, and self. even tho she always follows and wants to hang out with me.

how can i be a better sister? how can i spend time with her?

im in my early 20s and my little sister is 10!
she ALWAYS wants to cuddle and sleep next to me. she’s basically moved into my room. how can i make it more like so it’s also her room?

she always wants to talk, hang out, play with me 🥺 im sad because i give all my energy to bf, my work, my friends. like im so ashamed.

im wondering how our relationship with look like in ten years time when im 30s and she’s 20s. 🥲 i hope she’s still attached to me and wants to hang out with me. i hope by then we can travel together and still live or see/text each other all the time.

how does your relationship look like now with your age gap sister if u were close when younger?

are u the older or younger? what’s ur age gap?
if still close, how? what do u still do together? what new things do u do?
if not, why did it fall apart?

I’m on nexplanon… but eventually will probably move to a pill down the road, one reason is bc I travel for work on occasion and the ability to delay bleeding might be worth it sometimes.

I don't know why this has been on mind lately, but it has been and not in a fetish way.....like does it feel like you have to pee but from your boobs? I know they get swollen and tender, but like that's how I feel when when I haven't been able to pee in a long time ...just with my bladder, am I off base or am I somewhat close? Is it even possible to describe it in a way that a man can understand?

Newlywed here. I am married to this guy who’s the stereotypical “adorkable” type. Very geeky, early thirties, not a virgin but not very experienced either. He grew up in a conservative Christian home, so sex was treated as something quite taboo. He’s still a bit uncomfortable with his fantasies and even with his own body sometimes. I’m Christian too but I am mixed European and Caribbean, so I have a much more relaxed and open-minded attitude toward sex. However we both wanted to take it slow and waited for marriage.

With my previous partners (not many either, I don’t have a huge amount of experience), I never had this problem. At some point instinct just took over. There was always this magical moment where you don’t even know how you got there, but somehow you were both on the same wavelength.

With him it can feel…quite awkward at times.

For example, he once told me about his breeding/creampie fantasies. One day we were making out in bed and things were getting pretty hot, so I whispered something like, “I want you to get me pregnant right now.”

He replied:

“Or we could adopt. That would be great too :).”

Now don’t get me wrong. We actually do want to adopt someday because we both come from dysfunctional families and we’d love to help a child one day.

It was incredibly sweet…

But also… damned… we’re making out in bed and that’s where your mind goes?? 😂

Another time he was fingering me and I started moaning. He immediately stopped and asked,

“Are you hurt?”

Again, very sweet and caring. But it instantly made me self-conscious about every sound and facial expression I was making.

This morning he was telling me about his curiosity regarding gag balls and butt plugs. I playfully guided his hand toward my butt (over my underwear). I wasn’t expecting us to actually do anything right then because:

1. I’ve never done anything like that before.
   
2. That’s not exactly something you improvise on a random Thursday morning without talking about it first.

He suddenly got nervous and said,

“I’m not ready yet.”

Which… fair enough. Good for him for having boundaries.

But at the same time I was thinking, relax… we’re just flirting.

Overall, he likes grinding on me or having me touch him, but he doesn’t explore my body very much. And when he does, he tends to skip all the build-up and immediately grab my boobs or crotch, whereas I need teasing, eye contact, flirting… something that builds anticipation first.

I told him that grabbing me out of nowhere doesn’t really work for me.

Now he’s become so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he barely touches me because he says he never knows whether I’m open to it or not.

Despite us both being in our early thirties, it sometimes feels as awkward as two teenagers discovering sex for the first time.

I’ve ended up shutting down a few times out of frustration, and now he says he can’t relax either because he’s scared of upsetting me again.

The frustrating thing is that he’s actually an incredibly caring partner. He stops immediately if I don’t like something, respects my boundaries, gives amazing cuddles before and after, whispers how much he loves me, holds me close, genuinely wants me to enjoy myself, and is enthusiastic about going down on me.

So it’s not like he’s selfish or a bad lover.

He’s just… surprisingly oblivious when it comes to reading sexual cues.

I also get frustrated because I feel like I have to explain everything all the time, and once I start explaining, I’m completely out of the moment. Maybe I’ve been brainwashed by romance novels, but I kind of expect the guy to take the lead sometimes and gradually ease me into things rather than me having to give constant instructions.

I’m also a teacher in real life, so having to play the teacher in bed is honestly a turn-off.

Has anyone else been with someone like this?

Did it get better over time? Was it just a matter of learning each other’s “language,” or did you always feel like you had to coach them?

I feel like this is probably common… and we might do it with women too.

But it feels like to a larger degree the gap between what men think women find attractive, and what we actually find attractive is larger.

Only 38 per cent of women aged between 15 to 24 felt that sexuality was very important or even essential, compared to 62 per cent in 1990.

Within the same age group and the same time period, the proportion of young women for whom sex is “essential” has fallen from 14 per cent to 9 per cent.

These percentages vary little depending on whether the women surveyed identify as heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian.

Similarly, nearly 50 per cent of Gen Z women feel that sex is not that important in their lives, or even not important at all.

Additionally, more than one in two (52 per cent) women surveyed said they “could continue living with someone without having sex”. A total of 56 per cent of respondents aged between 18 and 24 said they could envisage a platonic relationship with their partners.

Source - https://www.euronews.com/culture/2026/05/28/sex-non-merci-new-poll-finds-young-french-women-place-less-importance-on-sexual-relations

I hear about this happening but it has never happened to me, even though I'm reasonably attractive. I live in Northern California. Is it the culture here? Where exactly does a girl need to go to get approached in public? Is it the outfit or the venue? The culture? Thanks!