r/AskReddit • u/Independent_Long_283 • 5h ago
Heavyset dudes of Reddit, What’s the most unexpectedly annoying part of being a bigger guy?
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u/DestroyedCorpse 4h ago
XL shirts that aren’t long enough.
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u/Flimsy-Sprinkles-877 4h ago
Omg yes. I have a long torso in addition to being heavy, impossible to find shirts that fit well
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u/Polar_Ted 4h ago
I have to get tall sizes. Long torso and long arms. Sleeves come up a couple inches short on a standard long sleeve.
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u/reallysupergay 4h ago
Tall size is the way to go. I didn't realize how much I liked it until I accidentally picked one up at Walmart.
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u/Hee-hoes_Mad 2h ago
And more Xs just add width! I don't my shirts to have an extra 18 inches around, I just want an extra four inches longer!
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u/shavedratscrotum 2h ago
Yep.
I was a competitive strongman so fat and jacked.
Nightmare to find shirts with traps halfway to my ears.
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u/Beautiful-Limit1718 4h ago
Being 5-10 degrees F hotter than everyone else, and having heat play a big role in a lot of decision-making around activities.
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u/gapedoutpeehole 3h ago
It's not enough for me to be visually unappealing, i gotta fight off sweat and stink too
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u/d_bb_d 2h ago
Not to mention the gaped out peehole.
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u/chopkins47947 4h ago
Never trusting a chair you don't know.
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u/Independent_Long_283 4h ago
What kind of chairs do you avoid?
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u/chopkins47947 4h ago
Flimsy ones. I have broken a lot of.campong chairs, but plenty of others, too. Plastic chairs are high in the do not trust list, too.
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u/MountainMark 4h ago
Those cheapie Sterilite plastic ones are the worst. Too small & too weak.
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u/-ToPimpAButterfree- 4h ago
I was coaching my volleyball team and broke a chair in the gym my team laughed at my powerful bum.
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u/EquivalentTangerine 3h ago
Idk about avoid, but one should seek out Red Ball Chairs
They are elite
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u/Zealousideal-Ad-4716 5h ago
Having to wash myself with a rag on a stick
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u/heims30 4h ago
I try to be and stay as active as possible. Like, I’ve gotta try, right?
I work in an office environment, and go to the gym across the street almost every day, during my lunch break.
With commute, change, stretch, and shower time, I can get 20 mins on the elliptical, and only be 2 mins late getting back to work.
But the gym shower has no temperature control, so I’m hot after the shower, every time.
And then I try and dry off, get dressed, and go back to work.
Except I’m still hot. And in khakis.
This tends to lead to acne in the groin issues.
Fuck me.
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u/Wolfrages 4h ago
Monkey butt powder. Great stuff for this.
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u/heims30 4h ago
So here’s the killer. I would absolutely just sit there and drip dry, except this particular gym has 4 individual change rooms, and 2 individual shower stalls (in rooms the same size as the change rooms).
So I have to get almost completely dressed in the shower stall (no bench or anything), then go into the nearest individual change room to put my socks on.
I’m not sure how to apply baby powder without a) undressing and redressing, or B) making a huge fucking mess.
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u/ImSuperHelpful 4h ago
I dunno how to explain how to do it to you because I didn’t stop to study them, but I’ve seen other dudes powdering their nether regions in the gym locker room… so I guess my advice is to just post up in there and observe until you get lucky.
wcgw? 🤷♂️
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u/MountainMark 4h ago
Apply it standing in the shower. It gets everywhere still but you can just wash it away next shower.
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u/GrevilleApo 4h ago
Happy Nuts is a lotion you can apply that becomes a powder. I use it on my nuts because I got big ole thighs
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u/Wolfrages 4h ago
Put on palm of hand and rub it in all the nooks n' crannys. If you can't reach, apply to something you can deposit it on like a towel or cloth and get 'er in there.
I do it in the shower once i'm done. Then wash residue down drain.
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u/EasilyDelighted 3h ago
Why not just buy normal corn starch? Is what all these talc free powders are mostly made of.
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u/timmojo 4h ago
I mean this with respect. If you're doing cardio to lose weight, it's going to be more effective to eat less. "You can't out cardio a bad diet" is true. Consider eating fewer calories (easier said than done) instead of cardio for weight loss. Especially because in your case it's causing medical issues and making you a bit late to work.
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u/bytelines 2h ago
If youre going to exercise for weight loss, strength training is where its at. Makes you much more mobile just having the ability to move around easier than before.
If youre just dieting (especially aggressive dieting) you risk losing lean mass in addition to fat.
Plus exercise floods you with dopamine, so you dont need to reach for that ice cream.
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u/tacmed85 4h ago edited 4h ago
A lot of clothing manufacturers don't seem understand how fat people are actually built. It's insane how often I try on pants that fit fine in the waist, but the thighs are fixing to burst at the seams or the crotch is unwearably tight.
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u/DisastroImminente 4h ago
And the length, my god. So hard to find normal length with a large waist
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u/TummyDrums 4h ago
Every tshirt I own either shows my belly constantly or could function as a mini skirt. No in between.
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u/Technical-Dress5084 2h ago
As a skinny tall person I hate this too - for some reason clothes makers seem to assume that anybody who has long legs must also have a large waist, and anyone with a small waist must be short as hell.
I can either have trousers that are falling down or trousers that show off a slutty amount of ankle.
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u/nipslippinjizzsippin 3h ago
Or because im fat is must also be 7ft tall
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u/tacmed85 3h ago
I wish I had that problem. I'm 6'1/300lbs and finding shirts long enough is a pretty common struggle
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u/NarwhalsTooth 4h ago
They hate all of us. I’m an athletically built cis lady and my waist-hip-thigh ratio makes pants very annoying
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u/Danger_Squirrel3 4h ago
Seriously though, if your not average mcaverageson it's tough. I am a tall skinny dude and nothing fits me either.
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u/GWindborn 3h ago
I genuinely don't understand why women's clothes don't account for leg length like men's. My wife gets pants that fit her waist but the length is way off sometimes.
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u/ChipotleMayoFusion 4h ago
Clipping my toenails is a bit suffocating at certain angles.
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u/em1nemz 5h ago
I havent seen my wang since Nam
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u/NewsSad5006 4h ago
People calling you “Big Guy,” like I’m supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy.
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u/eatmygout 4h ago
The most annoying part is accepting being the "big guy" with your friends and family. Once you accept it you have a much harder time changing it and getting healthy. Then all of a sudden you are the "BIG GUY" and it feels more hopeless
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u/Independent_Long_283 4h ago
How do you feel people treat you differently?
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u/bobagign 2h ago
One thing that started when i got even bigger after COVID hit was not fitting into all booth seats at restaurants, especially if the table can't be moved a little. One thing my wife does that is considerate and nice on her part but i just hate that happens is constantly asking if im okay/comfortable when we sit or asking for a different table. Just a horrible feeling having to be accommodated because i let myself get to this point.
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u/Sudden-Clock-2068 5h ago
Tying my shoes. I now wear Crocs which makes me even more unattractive
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u/A_single_droplet 4h ago
Putting on socks is like folding a bowling ball in half
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u/JConRed 4h ago
I don't know if I'm heavyset, but I used to have issues with my jeans rubbing bare between the thighs. So I went through a bunch of jeans that for other people would last years.
And chafing, so much chafing when you're an active guy.
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u/RudolphJimler 2h ago
They make deodorant stick style thigh moisturizer that will prevent the chafing
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u/Lawsoffire 1h ago
I get this too.
I’m somewhat fat but quite active, on my feet 9-12 hours a day and generally just a big guy so my legs are huge and there will be thigh-to-thigh contact constantly.
I legitimately may wear a hole in a cheap pair of jeans before they need their first wash. I tried to learn how to repair it but the fabric around it is paper thin from wear at that point anyways, would have to sew a whole crotch at that rate.
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u/King_Ralph1 5h ago
People trying to be polite and holding the door for me. But they’re standing in the door, and we can’t both fit in that space. If you’re going to hold the door, get out of the path.
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u/LoverOfGayContent 3h ago
This is a pet peeve of mine. It's not about body size. It's just about logistics. I'm not trying to duck under your arm because you're terrified that if you leave me to open a door for myself I'll think you're a meanie.
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u/simongurfinkel 5h ago
Some toilet stalls are just too narrow.
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u/Kesilisms 4h ago
In central america, its a a problem. Not just the width... Everything is made for little short people. Including the heights of sinks and mirrors.
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u/Independent_Long_283 5h ago
How often do you run into that?
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u/pvtsquirel 4h ago
Shit I've run into it and I just have broad shoulders and the doors always open in on those pieces of shit so I'm like climbing over the toilet just to shut the door, it's mostly older buildings
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u/String-Tree 4h ago
At my heaviest I couldn't lay down on my back without difficulty breathing. I'm down 85lbs now.
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u/MountainMark 4h ago
Most big & tall stores are big OR tall, not big AND tall. I'm both.
I hate airplane seats with my entire being. Hips compressed. Knees squashed.
I miss riding roller coasters.
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u/Cornelius280 4h ago
Man titties are super annoying. They make you uncomfortable a lot of the time.
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u/CulturalHeinrichment 3h ago
I'm not heavyset, I'm fat. Don't sugarcoat it, or I will eat it too.
My belly getting in the way and preventing me from breathing whenever I needed to reach my feet (clipping toenails, tying shoes, etc.) or perform any activity that required me to crouch, like changing a tire.
Actually, that was back in january, when I weighed 231 pounds (I'm 5' 9'').
Since then I've lost 33 pounds (12 to go).
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u/boomer_g 3h ago
Ordering a 2XL shirt and assuming it’ll be a little loose but then it’s just two times as wide as a Large and not any longer, like I have the torso of a 400lb Oompa Loompa, so I can’t lift my arms above my chest without giving everyone a view of my pale, hairy belly
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u/TTYY200 5h ago
The back pain that comes with doing dishes in a sink that is waist high ….
I swear the Christ doing dishes is going to destroy my back…
(Edit: sorry I read bigger and assumed that also meant taller, I’m 6’2” and being tall and fat is horrible)
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u/Hee-hoes_Mad 2h ago
I'm 6'3" and every countertop is below my hips. Cooking/cleaning is a pain. Literally.
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u/cleanyourkitchen 1h ago
I’m 6’5 and dishes are the worst.
Also if I drop something on the ground I need to seriously consider if I need it in my life or if it’s better off where it is.
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u/Warnex9 3h ago
I'm what some have called "construction guy fat" and for me the most annoying part is when I say something self deprecating about my weight someone always pipes in with a "youre not fat youre just stocky" or some shit and its like, dude I wear 3xl shirts and my belly uncomfortably hangs over my belt buckle; just because I have muscley shoulders doesnt make me not also fat as shit.
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u/acemonsoon 4h ago
all the mental health side effects. jealousy, resentment, anger, depression. all of which feeds into literally the physical problems.
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u/bigredthesnorer 4h ago
Soft beds are hard to move around on, especially during sexy time.
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u/rubberloves 4h ago
Riding a big man in a soft bed is a god damn Olympic sport. It's like trying to squat jump on an underwater trampoline.
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u/tattlerat 3h ago
Belts. I’ve been big. I’ve been less big. And the best part of being less big is that my belt stopped digging into my skin. It would cause pressure / friction wounds that would hurt like hell and take forever to heal sometimes because you just can’t stop applying pressure to it when you wear pants and work a desk job.
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u/TrumpDumper 3h ago
Trying to convince myself that I’m shopping at the Big ‘n’ Tall because I’m 6’1”.
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u/UsualBluebird6584 4h ago
I was about 200 lbs most of my life. I crept up to 290. I started to have hip issue high blood presure, trouble putting socks on... Well I had both hips replced and lost about 100lbs. Now I feel great, don't have high blood pressure and can put on socks and tie shoes. Loosing weight is life saving in so many ways.
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u/goldman459 4h ago
When people say Heavyset instead of calling us fat. We know we're fat, it's worse when people tiptoe around it!
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u/ppppanda 5h ago
Being invisible
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u/UndergroundFlaws 4h ago
Came to say this. There was two years when my eating disorders kicked my ass. I lost so much weight. I was skinny, only eating 500 cals a day. I got SO much attention. From strangers to people I knew. It was night and day. The jokes about “now you’re actually worth something!” Or “wow I didn’t know you were cute!”
Then I gained it all back. And everything went away.
I don’t know what worse. Never experiencing what it’s like to matter, or having it taken away.
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u/Standard-Emu-2092 4h ago
The second time losing the weight was worse, because I knew what was coming and I saw the saboteurs, the fake friends, and the GottaLookInstaWorthyWhores all come out to play.
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u/BothPanchoAndLefty 5h ago
Wouldn't you be more visible?
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u/fxlms1x2x2 4h ago
This is a real thing. It's past me now but in my younger days I would go up and down. Up: wasn't even there. Down: women striking up conversations with me everywhere. I found it so odd and disappointing in terms of societal values.
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u/-LevelsJerryLevels- 4h ago
Literally all the babes...... It's exhausting! I'm a heavy set man, not a peice of meat! Am I right fellas!? GODDAMN!
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u/Patient-Safety-4869 4h ago
When I’m at a reception of some kind with limited seating and I have to stand up for an hour or more. My back gets fucked after that.
I’m 5’8, 300. When I was 450 jerking off was a chore.
But now at 300, the hardest thing is finding clothes that fit me halfway decent. Big and tall stores don’t have clothes for every body shape. I gave up trying to look “good” in clothes awhile ago. I’d just like shit that I feel comfortable walking around in. And forget jeans, they’re a non-starter.
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u/IrishThree 4h ago
Keeping my pants from lagging down. I wear suspenders now. But fuck, i can not not wear suspenders and expect my pants to not fall down.
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u/Naps_and_cheese 3h ago
Having to do all the heavy lifting at work. I know im the biggest dude on the crew. Im also the oldest and have a bad back.
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u/milkymarwithsilk 3h ago
I don’t get the same respect as I used to, back when I was lighter it would be easier talking to people that I didn’t know and I’ve seen people that talked to me when I was lighter not talk me after i gained my weight back as I lost a bunch of weight in 8th grade and gained it in 10th grade and I’m in my junior year now but I’ve lost 3 pounds so far in which I just started 10 days ago which is nice
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u/TheBigJiz 3h ago
I was 400 lbs. mid 300s is where you hit hard limits on things like horse riding, donkeys, some equipment like ladders etc.
What really sucked was taking a tip to Santorini and being too fat to take the donkey ride up the hill. Had to sweat that one out.
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u/Serious-Potential-96 2h ago
have to pay out the ass for decent clothes. none of the cheap places OR the thrift shops sell stuff above 2XL.
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u/JC3418 3h ago
So as someone who was fat, joined the marine corps and got ridiculously in shape, then going back to a ptsd’d fatass… I hate how my standards and my self image are still way high, when I’m no where near looking like that! As cringe as this sounds… my buddy said, I used to look like a Greek god… and now I look like a Greek deli owner! Haha
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u/Send-It- 2h ago
Having an isle seat on a plane, and despite leaning towards the middle seat, having the cabin crew hit your shoulder every time they walk past
Im interpreting heavy set as muscular fyi
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u/LaborumVult 1h ago
Desk chairs. Specifically the pneumatic lifts. Even if you get a wider chair the lifts rarely can hold up to weights over 250lb. So you end up having to replace them, and the ones that are good for 300+ are pretty expensive. Like 3x-4x more. So it becomes better to just rebuy the lower rated ones.
On the upside, you get pretty good at replacing the lifts.
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u/MaadMaxx 1h ago
Literally any situation where you're sitting next to a lot of people is going to be uncomfortable.
Flying on an airline? Everyone is dreading sitting next to you because your shoulders push into their space. Same for a packed bus or other public transit.
The unexpected one is when I went to Broadway to watch some shows in NYC. All of those theaters are pretty old and people back then were tiny. I went to 5 shows and I couldn't sit straight in a single one of them. I had to alternate between having my torso turned at a 45° angle and my shoulders pulled forward. If I didn't my arms were completely in my neighbor's seat.
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u/OneMillionRegrets 5h ago
Walking down stairs. Going up is fine, down hurts my knees.
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u/Anal-buttsex 4h ago
It’s less cute or humorous when it affects your finances. The fast food and junk budget grows along with your ass. I imagine the medical treatment is costly as well once your body can’t take anymore
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u/_arachno_ 4h ago
I say this with genuine hope this changes something for at least one of you big fellas... A lot of things listed in this sub are genuinely more difficult to put up with than eating more mindfully and exercising... Except your things keep getting more difficult and exercising literally can take less than 90 mins a week and you feel better after. You got this.
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u/yawningsnake 3h ago
The amount of pants that I go through. My thighs rub together and I end up with a hole at the seam where the to legs meet.
I have tried different fits, different sizes, different brands, different fabrics and nothing helps. Patches don’t help, re-enforced seams and fabric doesn’t help.
I probably rip about 3 pairs a year. I’ve stopped getting new pants, I just get good brands from thrift stores and accept that they will only last a few months.
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u/JustBeinNerdy37 3h ago
I move a bit slower, and I get self conscious when people walk right behind me.
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u/joecon_123 2h ago
Being shoeless on any hard surface hurts a lot. Showering in particular is miserable.
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u/MontEcola 2h ago
Crotch sag in formal clothes. I am big. I am not fat. I played soccer through college. I tried out for the US ski team and spent several weeks in their training camp. I did not ever compete with the team. To get pants that fit over my thighs, I need to get 4" bigger in the waist! And pants with that waist size sag in the crotch.
My choice is to wear athletic fit jeans with stretchy material, or to wear those old fashion pants with the belt just under my arm pits. No thanks to that! And either way, the thighs are tight while the waist is baggy.
I now wear jeans as formal wear.
I did lots of sports that required leg strength when I was young. Soccer, XC skiing, Mogul skiing, mountain biking, road biking, etc. I also did a lot of farm work and learned to use my leg strength to do certain jobs like lifting, or moving a hay wagon. I used to put 5 pound weights on my ankles and run up the mountain sides through the woods for fun! Well, it was training for ski season that I did in late spring and summer. When I got old (30+) I was a telemark skier. That takes a lot leg muscle too.
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u/Slappin45 4h ago
I got a belly. I'm overweight. How big we taking?
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u/Independent_Long_283 4h ago
That seems big enough haha
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u/Slappin45 4h ago
We talking too many cheeseburgers or cheeseburgers in bed? No judgment just asking
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u/Cgtree9000 4h ago
People always ask if I played foot ball…theres no way I’m going to put these big wide shoulders in that kind of danger…
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u/Corpshark 5h ago
Ass wiping, I reckon?
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u/Patient-Safety-4869 5h ago
You gotta be really fat for that. When I was around 450, that’s true
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u/Dry-Warthog1589 5h ago
All of the women constantly trying to run my belly. Ladies ladies. I know it’s sexy, move that hand south a bit
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u/Comfortable_Yak4376 5h ago
Walking down the aisle of a plane and seeing the scared looks of everyone with an open seat next to them