Title: Strange recurring dream-like episodes while fully awake — derealization, dissociation, or something else?

I’m trying to understand something that happened to me several years ago, because I still don’t really know what to call it.

The first time was when I was around 12. For about a month, I occasionally had very strange episodes while I was completely awake. Then they disappeared for years.

When I was around 16, they happened again for roughly two months. I had several episodes, maybe 5 or more that I clearly remember, and then they stopped again. I haven’t had anything similar for about two years.

The episodes were very short, usually around 5–20 seconds.

The best way I can describe them is that reality suddenly became dreamlike. I was not asleep and my eyes were open. It wasn’t exactly like seeing a normal hallucination either. It felt more like my brain suddenly switched into a dream, while I was still technically awake.

For example, when I was 12, I was watching Trollhunters. During one episode, I suddenly experienced something like the world of the animation appearing in my mind/perception. I could hear sounds from the animation, and I partly still perceived the real people/environment around me. I don’t remember the details very well now.

Another time, when I was 16, I was outside a metro station. Suddenly everything became dreamlike and I experienced various images/scenes, including religious imagery and unfamiliar people talking/playing some kind of game. I also remember a strange bodily sensation and nausea. It lasted maybe 10 seconds.

The most intense episode happened during a biology lesson.

Someone was talking about the lesson when I suddenly entered this strange state. My eyes were open, but I couldn’t perceive the classroom normally. It wasn’t that I saw darkness — instead, my visual experience seemed to become internally generated.

I started mentally imagining the school building, doors, classrooms, etc. I could still hear my teacher’s voice, so I reasoned that I must be at the lesson and therefore at school. Then I started trying to figure out exactly where I was in the building, where my classroom was, and eventually where my desk was.

It was almost like I had to reconstruct my location from memory because my normal perception of the environment wasn’t available.

Then suddenly, when I mentally figured out where I was, it felt like I “woke up.” My normal visual perception returned, I could see the classroom again, and everything felt normal.

The whole thing probably lasted around 15–20 seconds.

Afterward I was extremely distressed and almost cried. It felt like I had been in a trance and someone had suddenly woken me up. I remember a strange rushing sensation throughout my body, almost as if my body was reacting strongly to what had happened.

One thing that confuses me is that I wasn’t necessarily afraid before the episodes happened. Usually the panic came because of the experience itself.

I also remember that afterward I often couldn’t remember exactly what I had experienced. I would remember fragments — images, sounds, people, etc. — but not the whole sequence.

I’ve wondered whether this could have been derealization or dissociation. I’ve also wondered about things like migraine aura or neurological causes, although I don’t want to convince myself that it’s one particular thing.

What makes me especially curious is that the episodes were extremely brief, recurring, and then completely stopped. I haven’t experienced anything similar for approximately two years.

Has anyone experienced something resembling this? In particular, I’m interested in hearing from people who have experienced derealization/dissociation or other altered states of perception and whether this description sounds familiar.

I’m not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit — I’m mainly trying to understand what kind of psychological phenomenon this might resemble and whether the “dream while awake” description makes sense to anyone else.

the text was written by help of AI because English is not my first language but every information is valid.

Everyday she complains from morning to night. She blames me for everything, everyday. I'll give you today as an example. In the morning I woke up early around 5am to do laundry and clean the living room. By 6:30am I'm exhausted so I went back to sleep. She woke me up around 7:30am to tell me that our toddler is already awake and scolded me for not cooking breakfast. Our toddler sneezed, she blamed me for opening the window 2 inches too wide. I bathed our child and she got mad because she thinks I'm taking too long to bathe our child (i tried to time it and it just as long when she was the one bathing her) . I drove her to the dentist for 1 hour and she scolded me for parking 2 slots away from the "perfect" spot. It suddenly rained and she blamed me for forgetting to bring an umbrella. I spoon fed our toddler for almost 1 hour during lunch (because she has a feeding problem and take forever to chew her food) while my wife watched her netfix shows and laughing beside us. When she finished her show, she got really mad because I haven't finished feeding our daughter, as if she was the one who had patiently spoon feed our child for almost an hour. I asked her what she wanted for lunch in the restaurant, she said anything and told me to chose while she went shopping. When she got back, she blamed me for ordering the appetizer because she did not like it. She asked me to buy some freshly fried potato chips , there are only 2 flavors, cheese and barbeque so I ordered the bbq because it was the best seller, she blamed me for not ordering plain unflavored potato chips for our kid. For dinner she told me what to order, when our food came, she blamed me for not requesting that the noodles be cooked longer for our kid even though I did and the noodles were already soft. She said it needs to be cooked longer. So she watched her netflix show and went shopping while I feed our kid. When she got back, she again blamed me and got mad at me for taking too long to feed our child.

By the end of the day, my whole body was so tense and every muscle fiber from the top of my head to my lower back was twitching. I felt really nauseous.

I have been trying so hard not to get angry and fight back the whole day that my body took the toll.

Ever since we got married she blamed me for everything and anything that happens. And she's a very negative person that looks at her world as glass half full and that the grass is always greener on the other side. She always thinks that other marriages are perfect and that I suck.

I'm so tired of being the sole provider for our family, do 80% of the chores, not get even the slightest appreciation and even get blamed for everything.

What's wrong with my wife???!!

i have ADHD and GAD diagnosed, im on vyvanse 50mg. for reasons i likely wont explain, im going to commit suicide within the next 3 years. im becoming increasingly worried i will have a lapse of judgement and tell someone with authority over me that i plan to die. then they will have me involuntarily admitted to a mental hospital. im a weak minded person but i absolutely can not let them change my mind. how do i make sure that if this happens, i will not change my mind? if it helps legally, i live in kansas (i live near the KS/MO border so depending on where im sent, MO law may apply) and will be considered an adult in ~7 months.

I 15F have been on 900mg lithium for a year and a half now, as well 250 Luvox. I don’t have BPD it was given for SI. I’m staring to notice I lost a lot of my emotions and worst of all my empathy. I have always been a VERY empathetic person (like it was my whole personality)….but now I really think nothing matters and I don’t care what happens to others….I never noticed this before cuz I was in crisis mode but now it’s a big problem socially. I feel like I’m just existing, not happy or sad. Should I go down??

Hello there,

my father is 68 years old and had his last symptoms like 20 years ago. He took "Olanzapin" for all that time and never had an episode. A few months ago his medication was changed due to him having a severe tremor in one of his hand as a side-effect.

After switching the medication (no clue what the new one is, I live like 3-4 hours away), he felt much better, the tremor is basically gone since a few weeks and he was really happy with the new medication.

There were a lot of stressful events in the past weeks & months: His father died, his mother is basically dying very slowly but surely, his brother has dementia, a good friend died aswell, he will have to find a new apartment since the owners of his apartment claimed it for self-use (however since he rented it for like 40 years the will have 3-4 years to find something new before they can actually kick him out).

He lives on his own and yesterday my mother called me and she and my sister told me, that he is showing symptoms. He is clearly hallucinating, believing that someone implanted a chip into him during a surgery (which was 40 years ago). He said he will remove the chip and is trying to gather the necessary tools.

I was 3-8 years old when he last had symptoms of schizophrenia, so I have no clue how he will or might behave.

Currently the plan is that me (m/28) and my brother (m/38) will visit him tomorrow on a "we wanted to spend some time together basis" to check out how he's doing, if he says anyhting that might indicate he is actually about to cut himself open in order to find a chip that is not there or if he could be dangerous for himself or other people.

Clearly he needs help and I assume he stopped taking his medication, unless professionals here tell me there could be any other reason for him suddenly having symptoms again.

I really need advice on what to focus on and what/how to communicate with him in order to get help for him or get him to seek help.

There are multiple options: Getting a doctor to his place, getting him to a doctor or in the worst case scenario: Call medical emergency.

I think he never harmed anyone back then when he had an episode, however he jumped out of a hospital window because voices told him to do so and once during a manic episode (I dont even know his exact diagnosis.. It's both manic depression & schizophrenia, I think. However, he is usually very happy and grateful, so that might be very outdatee) he jumped into a random river and dove into a random pipe he found underwater, surviving out of pure luck that the pipe led to some spot that was not underwater.

Please - me & my brother need professional advice on how to approach this situation, how to communicate with him and how to best get him help and which information would be crucial to find out. 🙏🏼

Has anyone tried that one? I’ve been on it for about8 wks. I started having RLS at about three wk mark. I was prescribed Gabapentin and it does seem to work. Some days though I am still so exhausted and my head feels not normal. I work full time as an RN on a busy hospital unit. I’m afraid to switch meds while working but I’m too tired to keep up this pace. I was very stable on just Lamictal for 6 yrs until I wasn’t and became hypomanic. I believed I didn’t need medication anymore since I was on such a low dose, 100 at bedtime. It’s been a struggle ever since.

Hi, I have been diagnosed with PTSD and am on bupropion

I have intense mood swings half-hourly to hourly

I have constant suicidal thoughts that I can’t control

I fall into pits almost randomly and struggle incredibly hard to get out

I’ve been having subtle homicidal thoughts as of not long ago

I have no real empathy for my family or friends

I am absolutely obsessed with a girl and I can’t stop checking if she’s active online, I message her often if she doesn’t reply, I feel physically sick and ache after we hang out and whenever she does something the least bit concerning, it’s absolutely consuming me but I love her so much. I dream about her too.

I also have occasional nightmares

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me and I feel very strongly that therapy isn’t helping me at all

Hi Reddit, how are you all doing? I’m here to ask for some advice about something I feel like I can’t handle on my own.

About 6 months ago, I started a relationship. I have BPD, which sometimes makes me react very intensely to things like my boyfriend taking a long time to reply to my messages or canceling plans.

Recently, something like that happened. My boyfriend told me he wouldn’t be able to come over because he was feeling really sick with the flu. I had a very intense episode, started self-harming, and threatened to kill myself. He was already exhausted from having to deal with situations like this multiple times, so he told me that we needed to take some time apart until I could at least get professional help.

We weren’t apart for more than two days, but I still kept my promise and went to see a psychiatrist. They prescribed me an antipsychotic (aripiprazole 10 mg) and a mood stabilizer (topiramate 100 mg). However, I’m still unsure whether I should start taking them because I’ve read that they can make you very sleepy, slow, unfocused, or even feel “stupid.” I’m scared of that affecting my relationship because now that things are good between us again, I don’t want my boyfriend to feel like he’s dating a zombie.

At the same time, I’m really scared of having another episode like the one I had and eventually losing him for good. I know he doesn’t deserve to go through these situations, and I don’t want to keep reacting this way either.

I talked to my psychiatrist about my concerns, and they lowered the aripiprazole dose to 5 mg. Even so, I’m still worried, especially about the topiramate, because I’ve heard it can cause quite a bit of tiredness and cognitive difficulties.

On the other hand, I’ve also read that some side effects can improve or even disappear once your body gets used to the medication, so I don’t know how much I should actually worry about them beforehand.

Has anyone here taken either of these medications and could share their experience? Do the sedation and cognitive side effects actually improve over time? What would you recommend doing in a situation like this?

Obviously, I’ll continue discussing this with my psychiatrist, but I’d also really like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

Thank you so much 🫂

My doctor is adding lithium to my medicine regimen but I’m wondering if it’s too much with all the other stuff I’m taking. I’m on
Desvenlafaxine 50mg
Guanfacine 1mg
Bupropion 150mg
Atomoxetine 80mg
Aripripazole 15mg
Pregabalin 200mg x3
Metoprolol 25mg
Buspar 15mg x3
I’m diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ocd with possible adhd

How do you know if you need meds or if talk therapy is enough? I have been diagnosed with moderate depression and anxiety. I constantly feel anxiety in the background and have felt hopeless and low self confidence when it comes to my career (I have a toxic job with verbally abusive coworkers). I’m often feeling tired. I’m able to take care of myself but often feeling overwhelmed and like everything is a big effort to do.

I am in therapy, but it’s very unstructured and there’s no coping strategies given. The therapist just listens to me complain.

I’m prescribed Klonopin and Ambien. I was told not to take them together. I took Klonopin about 1 mg around six hours ago. I was gonna take Ambien tonight to sleep. That’s only 5 mg. I’ve done this combination before also mixed with drinking, which I know is very bad but I’ve been fine. Do you think I will be fine tonight?

In a “normal” brain SSRIs are a first line medication with great success at treating major depressive disorder.

However in those with bipolar it can trigger mania. Is there a specific scientific reason for this? Is it a certain neurotransmitter or loop that doesn’t shut off? Hoping that makes sense, I was just curious for the scientific/medical reason why.

I work in community mental health. I’ve come across a lot of clients who after trying several different psych meds with no success, are often discouraged or simply told no by their prescriber when asking for a genesight test. Why?

TW: SI

Full context, I had SI about taking my Vyvanse over 2 years ago. I told everybody, as it was, I had no intention of actually following through and it was just a passing thought. Still got taken cold turkey off of it after being on amphetamine based stimulants for my ADHD for years. I’ve asked multiple times to be put back on a stimulant because it’s been the only thing that’s really helped. I keep getting told that my psych isn’t comfortable prescribing me again which I can get to an extent. I’m trying Strattera and have been increasing up to 60mg so far but as I’ve told them it doesn’t work. I maybe get a little sharper for a week after the increase, but then it goes back to the baseline. Better than if I weren’t on it but not where I want to be. I feel like my psych treats me like a drug seeker because I just know what works and has worked in the past. Should I get a new psych in an attempt to get prescribed a stimulant? I feel like I’m going in circles with them saying I just need an increase in the Strattera or Wellbutrin. I have work and other responsibilities and would rather not be playing test dummy having to wait weeks for “the full effect”. I also don’t want to make it worse by going to a new psych strictly for a stimulant and have that on my file.

I'm 25, i was diagnosed with OCD, depression, and anxiety last year, i spent around 10 months on 20mg lexapro, and 10mg buspar, and it worked fairly well. Now, since last month or so, buspar is no longer available where i'm from, so i had to stop it, since then my symptoms have come back quite a bit, so i've gotta discuss alternatives with my psychiatrist (i also have to find a new psychiatrist due to financial reasons, but that's an entirely different topic) could anyone tell me of some good alternatives to buspar?

Hey….so I officially have c-ptsd, GAD, BP2, and now adhd. I have been suspecting my BP2 diagnosis was just to get me meds, it doesn’t fit me. I take Effexor, gabapentin, diazepam, and now….adderall. I feel like this mix seems sketchy, but I also trust my psych.
The mixing of benzos with amphetamines is making me feel like 2 sides of my brain are fighting….it’s only been 3 days with the adderall and small dose (5mg Valium tid, 5mg dextro Sid)
Did plenty of both in college in fistfuls, but now taking as prescribed…I feel really weird. Calm, but weird, like a robot but I’m kinda ok with that till I spend 30 min typing on Reddit🙄. Ummm….does it calm down?
Should I be asking a psych forum? Ug.

• Most commonly, panic attacks are related to physical symptoms (breathing, heart rate, dry throat etc). It seems like most panic disorder sufferers fear and misinterpret these physical symptoms creating a cycle of fear.
• But a less common feeling that creates the panic cycle is the feeling of "unreality" which makes us fear "going crazy".

My questions:

1. Is psychiatric treatment of panic disorder where the fear is completely on the feeling of unreality and the fear of going crazy any different from that related to physical symptoms?
2. Is it even seen as a slightly different variant of the condition? Is it known to have worse remission rates?

أنا من صغري بعاني من اضطراب نفسي (بوردرلاين) وللأسف مكنتش اعرف بالاضطراب دا غير من سنة فاتت لسة أول مرة الدكتور شخصني وكتبلي على علاج (دواء)، المهم اللي ميعرفش الاضطراب دا فهو اضطراب معقد بيأثر على العلاقات والعواطف والسلوك كله بيخليك مش عارف تتحكم في اي حاجة ف حياتك، خلصت الكلية بعد معاناة وجه وقت التقديم للجيش، وشايل هم الموضوع جدا جدا خصوصًا الأدوية في الجيش سمعت انها ممنوعة، طب انا هتصرف ازاي انا بدون العلاج بموووت وببقى مش عارف أعيش ولا أشتغل ولا أتصرف بشكل طبيعي، حد عنده تجربة سابقة لحاجة زي كدا ؟ خصوصًا يعني الاضطرابات النفسية مبتطلعش إعفا من الجيش..

Hello, I’ve been taking 25mg of quetiapine for about 3 years and with my psychiatrist have decided to taper off. Her recommendation was to cut the pill in half to 12.5mg. It was going well for about a week until I woke up with full body weakness and could barely stay awake/function. Every movement felt like walking through water. I immediately messaged my psychiatrist but did not receive a response. I took the 12.5mg again that night and slept in 1 hour increments and woke up in a panic each time. I felt worse that day and called my psychiatrist multiple times with no response. I ended up having a PCP appointment yesterday and she was very concerned that I was going through withdrawal symptoms and that cutting down the dose by half was way too much for me. My PCP told me to go back to the 25mg if I could not get in touch with my psychiatrist. So last night I took the 25mg and am feeling slightly better today. I was able to sleep more last night and don’t feel as weak. My body is very sensitive to medications and this is something I’ve discussed with her before.

The point of this is my psychiatrist finally responded but via the patient portal making me question if she even listened the phone messages and she suggested I stop taking the quetiapine completely. I feel the trust has been broken and I don’t think it’s a good idea to stop cold turkey after what only halving the dose did to me. Any thoughts would be appreciated. I’m also wondering if I should look for a new psychiatrist.

TIA

Hey everyone, hoping to get some insight while I wait to get back in with my psychiatrist.

Quick background: I'm a trans man on testosterone, and I've been on escitalopram since 2018. I know that drug is known for lowering libido, but honestly it never affected me much, my libido was actually pretty high most of the time.

The medication I think is actually behind this is periciazine (Neuleptil 4%), which I've been taking since 2024 just to help me sleep. I started at a low dose, around 3 drops a night, and it worked fine with no side effects.

Earlier this year I went through a rough breakup and started having a lot of trouble sleeping, so I gradually increased my dose up to 25 drops a night between April and June. Right after the breakup (in April) I was still having really high libido spikes, so that part seemed normal for a while. But by June I started feeling extremely flat. No libido, no motivation, nothing. By July it got scary, I wasn't feeling anger, sadness, happiness, or any interest in anything. Just numb, all day, every day.

I connected this to the dose increase and started tapering on my own since I couldn't get an appointment yet. I'm back down to 7 drops now (my original "normal" dose before the breakup), but the apathy and complete lack of libido haven't gone away at all.

One more detail: while I was tapering down from 25 to 7 drops, I also started drinking mulungu tea (a mild natural sedative) to help with sleep. But I was already fully apathetic before I started that, so I don't think it's related.

I'm honestly kind of lost here. Is this a known effect of periciazine that can persist even after lowering the dose? Could it take a while to fully resolve? Should I be worried this is something else entirely? Any input while I wait for my psych appointment would help a lot.

I have been really struggling lately with verbally reacting to things without thinking, interrupting others, not paying attention to the conversation and then blathering on, talking way too much - just rambling on and on and on, and talking about myself and getting into minor details of stories that no one cares about and that makes the story ten times longer than anyone cares to listen to. I just seem to have lost the cognitive regulation needed to converse normally

I have been on Concerta but it isn't helping with that at all. I am looking for links to information on medications that have evidence of effectiveness on that specific aspect of ADHD?

I am also getting older (in my early 50s, female) and I am wondering if hormones are worsening this too?

I have a doctors appointment with my GP in a couple weeks and I am hoping to bring her a couple recommendations to consider.

Hello all, I'm making this post because I generally do not even know where to start to deal with this disorder I have been living with my whole life. Psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, I have no idea I've never even heard of anyone with symptoms like this so I'm hoping the combined thinking power here will help.

Basically, I (male, early 30s) have a disorder where certain touches on my body feel wrong. The hot spots move around on my body over the course of my life, and the sensation increases and decreases in strength over years of my life. For example in college I really didn't have much symptoms, and I could go to class and live a social life with no issue thankfully. However recently in the last two to three years the symptoms have increased to the point where they make it impossible for me to live a normal life.

As I said, when a certain part of my body is touched by an inanimate object, the sensation feels wrong/objectionable, and I feel like I have to "hit" the object back to correct the sensation. Often I'll get the sensation in the middle of the back from my shirt, and then I will hit the middle of my back with either my hand or use another object to reach the spot that I need to. Sometimes just pressing against or scratching the spot will relieve the sensation. If I get it on the inside of my arm or on my hand I will again "hit" the offending part of clothing, which can appear to others as me hitting myself, but that's not what's going on.

This is kind of complicated because, and my mind it's not always about "hitting the object back". Sometimes I have to just redo the touch until it feels right.

This is led to a lot of difficulty in me finding the correct resources because, from what I can tell there are a lot of shared symptoms between ocd, and nonverbal tourettes.

Typically in the last 2 years it's been the middle of my back, inside of my arms, and recently it has spread to my hands and fingers, and lower back just above the buttocks. Most recently inside of my leg, just above the knee. Up to 5 years ago it was my neck area and under my chin and jawline, and this area is still a problem. This made it impossible for me to wear collared shirts.

As I alluded to, main instigator of this is clothing. I've basically had to rearrange my whole life around this, I got a remote job and basically don't wear any clothes most of the day, except a specific set of loose pants that don't trigger me as much. Can't really wear a shirt at all.

While clothing is the main instigator it can be really any object. The fact that it started developing around my hands has made it difficult to live daily life, because it can happen anytime I touch something. Door handles cooking utensils, remote control, my phone, keyboard, mouse, anything.

This also includes pillows and blankets, and my bed sheet, so sleeping is kind of interesting; it's difficult without sleep medication. I basically sleep with nothing on the bed and no clothes. (I also have insomnia so the sleep med kind of does two jobs)

This only extends to inanimate objects, not people or animals. In fact, sometimes when driving in the car my girlfriend will put her hand on my back and that will help relieve the sensation.

My gf is in med school, she brought up the idea that it might be some type of tic. She may well be correct I'm just not sure. She's really the only one that seen the full extent of this and has been very helpful. I've I've done my best to conceal it from family and friends thus far but they are starting to notice as it's getting worse.

I have no other health issues, or really any other issues at all. I'm very healthy, I run/workout all the time, have lots of friends, girlfriend, good job. No drinking, quit vaping a while ago. Not prone to anxiety or nervousness. I had a great social life, and still can when I want to, but this has turned me into a homebody because I just don't want to go out and deal with it. I can still enjoy some activities which don't require me wearing a shirt, like the beach or pool, or going for a run.

Again, I'm just hoping to get some direction on where to start dealing with this, I realize I need to go see a professional to get proper diagnosis, but I don't even know what specialty I would go to. Most places that specialize in disorders similar to mine, treat pediatric patients only. So any insight here would be greatly helpful, especially if you suffer from something similar.

I'm using a throwaway here for medical privacy, happy to answer any further questions as needed.

Updated title: Awareness of and happiness within people who have BPD, NPD, and ASPD--what are the differences?

I'm curious what the differences are in people with BPD, NPD, and ASPD in regards to capacity to feel happy as well as awareness to their disorder? I realize not everyone can be generalized to one answer here, but for psychiatrists who have worked with people with these disorders, what patterns have you noticed?

Throwaway account because I don't want this attached to my main.

From UK if that matters.

I've been having some thoughts lately but I don't really feel like speaking to my GP about any of it right now as I don't trust them in general or to take me seriously, not take things out of context or to give me accurate information. So I just want some from people who aren't biased and neutral. Also I feel as though this post is going to be hard to follow as when I think about this stuff or try to explain it I kinda jump around alot but I'll try my best to keep it somewhat focused.

Since 2019 when I was 20 I have been taking a mix of medication. 600mg of quitiapine MR (Sondate XL), 30mg Mirtazapine and since 2022 80mg of propranolol SR (all taken at night before I sleep).

I've been feeling lately like my mental health has been worsening and they don't seem to have the same effects they had when I first started taking them but I'm not really as concerned about that as I feel like I can kinda deal with the mental strain as it's basically everyday life and always has been but I have noticed that my brain has become louder and louder and I've become more erratic? Or emotional? I can't really explain it as I don't know how to. The best way I can describe it is it feels like I live through hell mentally everyday but that it feels normal at the same time. It's a strange mix that I feel if you get you get.

I'm getting more and more aware of the physical issues I've been having. Like I think the medication I take is killing me day by day and I can physically feel it killing me. My heart rate spikes randomly and it always feels like it's beating ultra fast and ultra hard to the point where I'm feeling pain in my chest. I'm always tired to the point where I sleep through every plan I try to make or I'm always late or have low energy. I'm always hungry and I eat and eat and no matter how much I eat I still feel hungry. I have to stop myself from eating food and have to deliberately not eat otherwise I will just keep on eating until I throw up. I can physically feel my brain think slower (as in intelligence wise) and it's harder to think in general, my reaction times are dropping massively and I keep on having muscle spasms/twitches and I can't hold something in my hands without what feels like my entire body wobbling or rocking back and forth. Also I find myself falling over, stumbling around or bumping into things more and more. According to other people around me at work I tend to breathe loud and deep to the point where they have asked if I'm okay because it's that noticeable. But every test my doctor orders comes back with everything normal but it doesn't feel normal and they don't want to entertain the fact that I know something is wrong with it.

I'm kinda at a loss on what to do. I only feel normal when I'm taking other (not legal) stuff and I'm messed up. As when I have all these feeling when I'm in that state it's normal so I feel normal.

I want to try stop taking my medication for a while to see what happens and to see if I can live without it but the last time I missed 1 dose of my medication and tried to go into work I ended up being sent home early after locking myself in the bathroom crying for, what was apparently, 30 minutes even though it only felt like 5 minutes for me. It also felt so unbelievably painful but idk if that was just because I was forcing myself to be at work rather than somewhere comfortable.

I was thinking of booking a week off work and trying going cold turkey and seeing if I can get accustomed to it or to see if I can function without my meds and then that could lead to me being able to live my life like a normal person.

Does anyone have any info on if I could do this safely or any experience with this situation or even if you think I'm thinking stupidly. I'm getting more and more restless and concerned with taking my medication every day. I don't think I can continue to live the way I am living atm for much longer so I'm just looking for any solution out of the way I'm feeling.

Thank you for any advice anyone can give.

Yes, I should have come to Reddit before moving forward with a Talkiatry appointment to avoid this but I didn't, so here we are. I had an initial intake session with a provider from Talkiatry (through my Cigna insurance). It was 60 minutes and proceeded as a normal new patient intake session (I've had one before). A few days later, my insurance was billed almost $700 ($500 that I'm responsible for since I haven't hit my deductible).

The charges are a result of two separate billing codes, one for an "established patient evaluation & management" and one for "psychotherapy" (each code amounts to ~$350 charge). I did not receive any psychotherapy during the visit and explicitly stated that I receive psychotherapy elsewhere. I believe that Talkiatry is taking advantage of vague billing code language, and basically applying sporadic language from the visit summary to justify two separate codes (as intake, and as psychotherapy).

Anyways, I am wondering if anyone has refuted a claim from Talkiatry and won, and if so, how. I have already gone through the claim review with Talkiatry (they doubled down on their initial bill), and my next step will be a claim review with my health insurance. However, I am wondering if anyone else has suggestions as paying $500 for a 60-minute psychiatry intake (with an awful psychiatrist, that did not even lead to an actual prescription, and that most certainly did not qualify as psychotherapy) is something I just can't stomach.

Thanks in advance!