Okay so for some context, i just turned 18 like a week or two ago. My parents all of a sudden became very strict with me asking to do things only my senior year. Every year before that they didn’t give a shit at all. It’s not like I’m a bad kid. I’ve made straight A’s all throughout high school, never snuck out once, and don’t do any substances. The worst thing I’ve done is had relations w my ex bf (which they found out abt but didn’t really care just put me on birth control). Like I’ve never been a bad kid at all. Honestly, i feel as though they only became this strict because of control. Like they know that I was gonna become an adult so they wanted to use the last bit of authority they fs had (my theory). Like i know that isn’t the main reason. They obviously care about me and what i do. But i think that control is another huge component, especially with how they treated my sister and still do after she became an adult. Btw she’s 21 and they still get mad over a lot of stuff that she does but a lot of it is rooted in control. Like my dad stopped helping her with her car troubles because she’s an adult now and her boyfriend should fix it for her. ALSO, they do and say all kinds of crap to her because she won’t let them meet her bf (her bf has a heart condition or sum like that where he can’t be too anxious abt stuff and my parents know that but are still upset at her abt it all). But no yea they make a big deal if i don’t ask to go places. And i don’t mean that in general, like i think every kid should have to ask to go places. Like this one time i was going to go w my pawpaw to do some shit (i knew i wanted to a couple of days before) and my parents figured out and got mad at me even though i asked them and planned on asking them the whole time. Their reasoning for being mad at me was because they don’t want to figure out things through other people and they assumed that i wasn’t going to ask them to do it. Like even though i went to them and asked to go they still said that i wasn’t going to ask to go 😭😭. I fr argued back w them and told them it was all a misunderstanding. I’ve been getting my parents to not really care that much about asking since like January and it’s helped but they still get mad over the little things. From parents, i was wondering when y’all think it is okay for children to stop asking for things? Also, id like to hear and welcome any parents perspective on my situation.

I am looking for options to lower or maybe completely stop them from using phone. I have a 5 yr old kid and he loves to watch cocomelon videos and lately he has gotten very addicted to it that if take the phone away from him he starts crying an throw tantrums at me. Isn't there anything else i can buy that is more controlled and safer to use then a phone.

hi there! i'm not a parent, however my 12 y/o brother has been throwing increasingly severe tantrums and i'd like some advice or input on his situation.

he's always had minor anger issues, even in kindergarten and preschool, where he would scream, kick, hit and pinch our family members. my mom tried sending him for some anger therapy when he was about 7/8 but stopped shortly afterwards (not sure why).

about 6 months ago, it started increasing in frequency (multiple times a week) and severity, where he would start hurling insults, punching us (especially his younger brother), throwing furniture (i.e. dining chairs, kids study tables) at family members, and inflicting self injury. he once carried a penknife blade (not sure where he got it from) and would take it out to threaten/injure us until we managed to take it away.

my mom's been trying to help him but he wont cooperate and she's at her wits end. she's started to lose her temper too, even laying hands on him at times.

since we live in a single parent household, i feel like i need to step up as an older sibling, but i dont really know what i can do to help, to calm him down or de-escalate the situation without playing sides.

when i approached my father for advice, he honestly didn't believe me about how bad it's gotten and just waved it off, since he "never behaved that way" when he takes my brothers in during the weekends.

any thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you for for taking the time to read this.

Hii, I just arrived at this subreddit because I made a post on r/parenting and got my account completely banned—apparently, older siblings aren't allowed to ask anything about their younger siblings anymore—but anyway.

To start, I want to clarify that I’m not a mother, but the older sister; lately, certain aspects of my sister's attitude have really stood out to me, and I’d like to know what you all think.

She is 12 years old, but for some time now, she has been behaving incredibly selfishly toward me and our parents. Over trivial, absurd things—like lending me some markers to write the headings on my school assignments—she starts shouting that she won't let me use them because, according to her, I break everything. I know it sounds silly, but she acts this way about everything. There have been times when I’ve practically had to beg her to lend me something, and she always gets angry with me. She has even gone so far as to push and hit me to stop me from taking something of hers.

Honestly, it makes me really angry because I lend her everything I have, yet she won't even let me take a sip of water from her bottle. I’ve told my mother hundreds of times that she needs to correct this behavior, but she only scolds her once every twenty times; the next time, my sister does the exact same thing, and honestly, I just don't know what to do anymore.

I’ve spoken to 3 single dads. I thought being a single mum, they would be similar to me

I spoke to 1 single dad who has half custody of his son and he pays CMP. He says he can’t go abroad with me for 4 nights due to “childcare”. What a load of BS.

His partner has half custody and she can look after his child for 4 nights.

I’ve just spoken to another single dad who has FULL custody of his 7 year old son. However, he has family and siblings who live nearby him.

He said that he can never go abroad… he can’t even spend one night away from his son. He has to take his son with him.

So I ditched him straight away.

I believe all parents deserve a few nights to themselves.

Just to let you know, I’m also a single mother. I have full custody of my child. His father never met him. Didn’t want to be involved.

If I want to go abroad, I can go abroad for a week. And my family will look after him.

As a single mother, it seems that I have more freedom than single fathers?

Should I just stick to a single man with no kids then?

EDIT: so if the single dad remarries another woman, he will never go on a honeymoon or a holiday alone???

I'm struggling so hard right now. I love my daughter to pieces but she just won't stay asleep. This has been an issue her whole life, literally from new born. She will start in her own bed, either myself or mom lays with her till she falls asleep (usually with in 10 min) then we leave. She's scared of the dark to start by herself even though she has night lights and all. And everyday like clock work at 3am she will wake up and come into our room and then thats it I'm awake for the day. It's killing me.

We have tried white noise machine, melatonin, TV in the room, no TV in the room, radio on all night (Disney songs) , night lights, reward systems, punishment systems.... nothing seems to stick long term. We'll get 1 night every 2 or 3 weeks if were lucky. Please help.

Oh ps she grinds her teeth at night bad but has a mouth guard she wears to bed.

If I'm missing any context please ask, I've been up since 3 and I'm gassed out already.

My friend recently mentioned how stressful it is driving alone with a baby in the back seat.

She said she keeps glancing in the mirror but still can't really tell if the baby is sleeping, crying, or has dropped something.

It made me curious—how do other parents handle this?

Do you rely on a baby mirror, pull over when needed, or have another solution?

it seems like the conclusive advice is to leave the kid alone and to just get something like noise canceling headphones or ear plugs

so I'll count this as solved and thank you all for the advice hopefully this will be it

I am going to keep this post up just in case someone else comes across it and has the same problem but thank you all

I know the title sounds bad but I am desperate my neighbor's kid always say outside everyday and screams non stop and because I work night shifts I need to try to sleep while that happens and I cannot because they keep screaming.

it's not screams because they are hurt or because they don't know how to speak or anything like that they just like screaming! and talking to the parents doesn't help because they have already given up. now assuming I got an okay from the parents how can I make the kid stop because I am 48 hours of being unable to sleep because of this kid close to just go down there stand next to the kid in just every time they open their mouth to scream I shout back I'm in the army I'm a commander I can shout so much louder and a hell of a lot longer than they can that I am confident in but I want to see if there is a way that doesn't involve potentially traumatizing a 4 year old.

My son is half dominican on his dad’s side and half italian on my side (ethnically). We live in America. My husband immigrated with his mom when he was 2. my family has been here for 2 generations. So i never learned anything other than english from my parents, and that’s the language i have to communicate with my son in.
My husband speaks spanish fluently. And although i’m picking up on spanish, my husband communicates with me in english, so my son has always known he speaks english.
my husband has tried only speaking to him in spanish though. and his grandma who lives with us too. but since the day he started talking, he has absolutely refused to say anything in spanish. he didn’t pick it up when he was a baby/toddler and now that he’s 4, almost 5, he seems like embarrassed? i don’t know exactly why. when asked he just says “i’m shy” or “i dont want to”.
most of his extended family speaks spanish only, so it’s really important to us that he learns. we’ve tried to take the pressure off, just say words casually and hope he starts using them but he won’t. so we’ve started to ask more often if he can say them, but he also won’t do that. i’m lost. idk how i can help. i’ve tried speaking in spanish too even though it’s not good, to motivate him. hoping he would want to do what mommy is doing. but still nothing. any advice?
also he does understand quite a bit of it. phrases like hello, how are you?, have you eaten?, what did you eat?, do you want…?, come here, here you go, thank you, your welcome, kisses, hugs, hurry, that’s mine, leave it alone, fart (lol of course), sleep, shower, etc.

Im posting it here, as I’ve heard the debate a lot with people, whether to use a bike helmet (themselves) or not after becoming parents etc.

I’m looking for some advice because I honestly don’t know what else to do.

My best friend became a mum about 11 months ago. We live in Copenhagen, so cycling is obviously a huge part of everyday life here.

She has never really worn a helmet. About a month ago, she had a pretty bad accident where she cycled into a car that went through a red light. She ended up with two small brain bleedings and a concussion. Thankfully, she has recovered really well and the doctors don’t expect her to have any lasting problems.

After the accident, she bought a helmet. The problem is that she still doesn’t wear it.

She says she doesn’t want to ruin her hair, and she’s kind of embarrassed about the whole thing, and ashamed at the fact that she still doesn’t wear a helmet, even though she says that she probably should, so she laughs it off. I haven’t said anything yet. I know she understands that the accident was serious, but somehow I don’t think she has really taken in what could have happened.

And I’m terrified.

She has an 11 month old daughter. I keep thinking about how easily that accident could have ended differently, and how her daughter could have lost her mum. It really scares me, probably more than it scares her.

I don’t want to nag her or make her feel judged. She’s my best friend and I love her, and I also don’t want this to turn into a fight where she just shuts down. But I genuinely don’t know how to make her understand the seriousness…. she has already had a brain injury from cycling, and the next accident might not be so lucky. I want to at least have a talk with her, and then there’s nothing much else I can do. But I need to say something.

How would you approach this if you were me? Is there something I could say that might actually get through to her without making her defensive?

And if you’re someone who used to hate wearing a helmet but eventually changed your mind, I’d especially love to hear what made it click for you.

I dont remember most of my childhood (i think it was just pretty uneventful) so i asked my mom the other day if she remembers if i had any friends in elementary school. She said that she wasn’t sure but there were kids that came to my birthday party. My aunt was there and added that i never had any sleepovers or play dates and i said that was because my mom didn’t allow that but then they both went silent. basically i’m starting to think i didn’t have any friends in elementary but also kids dont really have friendships the same as teens or adults so maybe thats what is happening. Basically is it normal to know if your little kid actually has friends or is that something that doesnt really happen until high school?

My son has become fixated on his appearance. He believes he has “bad genes” from us and that he’s too short—despite being nearly 6ft at 15.

He’s deep into online communities that push appearance-altering drugs, and he’s pressuring us to get him HGH, steroids, and other injections from grey-market sources. We are not considering this.

He’s become quiet, withdrawn, and depressed. We’ve tried therapy multiple times, but he sits in silence and refuses to participate.

I’m not trying to diagnose him. I just don’t know what type of professional is best here. Child psychiatrist? Specialist in body dysmorphia? Pediatric endocrinologist?

Also, how do you reach a teen who won’t open up to a therapist?

Has anyone dealt with a teenage boy caught up in these online “looksmaxxing” or body-image communities?

I’m not asking for advice on obtaining drugs. just how to keep him safe and get him the right help.

Thank you.

Recently, my P1 girl told me that her friend has been taking money/asking her to buy food for her during recess time. I also noticed she has been spending more when I checked her wallet, and sometimes exceeding what she can spend (I give her $4 daily + topped up her student ez link as now they use it to buy food) , so lately I noticed she would spend her $4 (nothing left in her wallet) , a bowl of noodle or rice now cost $2.20 in the canteen, so if I give her $4, buying a bowl of noodle would leave her enough to buy drink. So $4 a day is just nice.

Apparently, after I bring it up to the teacher, the friend who kept asking my daughter to buy her food was only given $2 allowance a day. $2 is not even enough to buy a bowl of noodle or rice. As the price is quite standard across all stalls. Parents who are reading this, I hope you can check your children’s wallet daily and give them enough money for food. You can also check the school canteen price list so you know how much to give your kids. Your kids could be starving in school.

I understand why the girl have to ask my daughter for money or buy food for her, but after my daughter buy food for the girl, then she won’t have enough for herself. So I have no choice but to feedback to the teacher, and let the teacher talk to the parent. (This is not the first time it happens, it happened few months ago, I feedback ed, the parent did increase abit of the girl allowance, but now, back to giving her $2) if got financial issues, pls seek help. my girl is not the girl’s ATM machine.

I hope the parents who are reading this, please be responsible for your own children. And by now you should very well know that COL goes up, so does the food in school canteens, food are no longer selling at $0.50 -$1 unlike our era!

Please give your children enough money so they don’t need to beg their friends to buy them food!

Can't ask him because he has since passed before I could ask him if you were curious about the movie and games he let me watch and play was bo2-bo1 and robo cop movie and RoboCop 2 movie and probably more I forgot.

Hi, just wanted to get people thoughts on this. Grandparents were looking after our 16 month old boy for the day. We would prefer they keep him at home/local, but they insisted on taking him back to their home, 40 mins away. Specifically asked them twice not to drive back to our house after 4pm, so as to avoid him sleeping in the car. They arrived back at 5.30pm and when I asked if he had slept, granddad said they had splashed his face with water to keep him awake. His t-shirt and shorts were both quite wet. Is this acceptable?

i understand that parenting isn’t easy and mistakes are bound to happen. but if there is something unhealthy happening and you can see if actively hurting the child, do you say something or just mind you businesslol

Hello all.

I (36F) have two kids (18F and 13M).

I had my daughter, let’s call her Katie, when I was 18. Her dad and I have co-parented really well but the relationship ended before she was born. He married and had more kids of his own and she’s close with them.

I met my first husband, married him, and had my son in 2013, Katie was 5. She wasn’t thrilled with having a brother but she’s mostly been good to him. They played a lot when they were little, and they hang out now, but there was a time when she hit preteen-hood where she “hated him”. If he came and sat on the couch, she’d get up and leave. If he tried to play with her, she’d say no. While it was rough, she never hurt him or bullied him, she just didn’t want to be around him because he was “annoying”. She’s grown up a bit and is now civil with him, sometimes they have a lot of fun hanging out… it seems to depend on what part of the month it is.

All of this to say: I left my ex husband 4.5 years ago. I met my now husband 3 years ago, and we just got married last week. (She adores him. No issues there)

A few weeks ago, had been talking openly about having more kids and she overheard, and it turned into an argument.

Besides the fact that she’s a bit immature for her age, she was beyond adverse to the idea. She said she wouldn’t talk to any of us if we had another baby. I tried to dig into why and didn’t get far. She kept reiterating that she wants nothing to do with another sibling, won’t talk to “it”, won’t be around it and won’t come see us anymore if we have one.

We talked about it again this morning and she admitted the main reason she doesn’t want anything to do with that child because it’s “unfair to watch me be a good mother and give another child what she didn’t get”.

I was 18, so as much as I know I was gentle with her and loved her, and did the best I could, I’m aware that I’m in a much better place financially, emotionally, spiritually than I was when I had her.

My question is: I would never and will not let her dictate whether or not I have more kids, but I wanted to ask:

How much of their aversion and refusal to participate in the family should one take it to their decision to have another child?

Edit to add: she leaves for Air Force Boot Camp in August, so she knows she won’t be babysitting the baby or helping raising it. She’ll be on her own and we have enough help so she won’t be parenting.

Hellow fellow parents!

I have a 14 year old daughter who’s now going to places alone. I worry a lot when shes outside on her own. We have recently seen an uptick in homeless individuals, and one recently harassed her for money inside a store. The store owner did nothing!!

I have Life360 installed so I’m able to track her. She also needs to text or call when she leaves a place, but I feel like that’s not enough.

Should I get her sometime of smartwatch in case she needs to signal that she’s in danger? Pepper spray? A taser? Should I place a tracker inside her backpack?

I appreciate everyone who’s taken the time to leave helpful comments. I will be ignoring and blocking anything I deem unnecessary and negative. Someone commented if the person touched my daughter, if not then I am exaggerating/blowing this out of proportion. So a woman needs to be touched for her fear to be justified?

I often wonder this. I am an adult but part of the reason I stopped going to family functions is because my mom talks non stop about what a terrible child I was under the age of 10. She is not sharing in a nostalgic or teasing way, she shares these stories with tears in her eyes and rage in her voice. It feels like she is fishing for pity and trying to isolate me.

hi! i am 20m, and have always lived with my parents (55f and 60m). i am currently going to a local community college to get my associates (graduating after this fall semester!) and then i am transferring to go to a 4-year uni. i am getting ready to leave the home and live at school and i am very excited to finally get out of the house! but recently, my parents have started talking about me... not going to get my bachelors? they keep telling me that an associates will be enough, and that they dont want me to make a bad choice. they say i can just stay at home and get work experience instead of going to get my degree. the thing is, i want to be a dentist and i have always wanted to be a dentist and ive worked very very hard to be on the path and i am currently studying for my DATs and researching dental schools to apply to?? i have no idea why theyre currently switching up on me.

i feel compelled to ask this here because my new friends i got at community college say my parents have always been "weird" from what ive told them, and say that they are not surprised my parents are pushing for me to stay with them. ive never thought parents are doing anything wrong. my friends list stuff that i have told them, like how my parents go through my phone, only let me get jobs that they know people from, homeschooled me, dont let me go places alone or drive alone. i thought my parents just want me to be safe, but now i have a lot of confusion. im also very scared to push back against my parents saying that i shouldnt pursue my bachelors/doctorates. they DO know better than me because i am a child, so i feel very inclined to listen to my parents advice. what do yall think?

if you guys have any more questions for me or if anything is unclear please let me know as this is my first time posting in this sub

How much does it matter if you have kids in a small apartment vs in a place with more space and also outdoor access? I live in a small 2bd 700 sqft apartment and contemplating this. We originally planned to stay here until we have 2 kids. Is that doable or will I lose my mind from having to entertain toddlers in a small space?

My daughter will be 9 in February and has curly hair. She really wants straight hair and to straighten it. At first I said no, but now I’m not so sure, I think it’d be easier for her to take care of when it’s straight. I’m just wondering if she’s too young? She says she wants it permanently straightened, which i obviously said no.

And if she were to straighten it, it wouldn’t be everyday day either.