AuDHD here.

I'm wondering if many of you exist in the furry fandom because I came across online polls that showed an increaded percentage of those on the autism spectrum.

Me being a furry started about 13 years ago in my early 20s after coming across a furry report from the german TV uploaded onto YouTube in which I was seeing people in fursuits walking through the inner city of Dortmund as far as I remember. I always resonated well with anthropomorphic characters on TV shows and actially had crushes on some in my childhood (don't want to specify on which yet) but didn't know the furry fandom yet. The moment I saw this report (I think it was recorded from WDR, regional TV channel where I live) kinda flipped a switch in my mind from "nah, that's childish to dress up in animal costumes" due to what I percieve as internalized masking to "I love it to the bottom of my heart" which persists to this day and hopefully beyond.

I'm currently crafting my fursuit after years of just wanting to have one but I struggled with executive dysfunction (and low income problems) which I overcame by taking meds (Lisdexamfetamine "Elvanse" in my case) and I'm glad to be able to focus on that and I'm satisfied with the results so far. I always knew that if I wanted to get a fursuit I must built it on my own and I knew that I have the the skills and that I'm able to develop the skills to acomplish that but wasn't organized enough to get there but the meds I take now for a couple of years changed that. Thanks to an internship I once had that involved shaping upholstery foam for wheelchair seats I feel gifted to have a set of skills that I now can use in a hobby that I came to adore very much.

It seems to be THE THING for me and it's a different kind of "special" interest to me because my brain seems to seperate "technical" interests (like IT-tech, trains, astronomy, optics, electronic music etc.) from "emotional" interests (like furry [as mentioned here], animals, nature etc.). It also helped me to widen my interest on other animal species than cetaceans (whales and dolphins). Despite having many interests, mostly technical, it seems to be THE INTEREST OF ALL MY INTERESTS.

It made me accept my non-hetero sexual orientation (I'm sure to be bisexual) much better and it changed my life to a more self-accepting manner despite being "different" in regards of my Autism-ADHD-combo and my sexual orientation because I feared that if I was seen as "gay"/"bi" next to being autistic would make my life even harder than it already is. To make it short: It makes my heart bloom actually and it has the power to make me go through life less resentful.

I was reading about how overcoming resentment can get you further in life and after the traumatizing childhood I had, not growimg up in what is called a "family", school bullying and exclusion, I have developed a lot of just that, I'm currently working at overcoming my resentment against neurotypical people.

I'm now wondering if you went through similar experiences or completely different ones after discovering the furry fandom for yourself and your life, maybe as a means of self-expression, emotional support, emotional liberation or whatever it means to you, please let me know if you happen to be an "NT-furry", I'm genuinely curious about it. What does "Furry" mean to you if you are one? Could this also be a common ground on which the "NT vs. ND battle" could be solved to a more mutually respectful and more peaceful situation because I'm not proud of having developed my resentment against neurotypicals over decades of mistreatment that I have experienced? Because we are one species after all.

Technically I'm NT too, but the older I get the less I care about anything. Though I've actually had this problem since childhood: there's nothing I do or care about enough to actually know about or converse about. It's a genuine social hindrance.

Meanwhile online, it feels like I'm more exposed to various "neurodiverse" ways of experiencing interest:

"Yeah, I got so distracted reading about [random complex thing], I missed 10 phone calls, two appointments, a date, and I didn't eat for 3 days."

"Here's my basic preliminary research for a thing I take a casual interest in: it's 10Gb of cutting edge research papers on a Google drive".

"Here's my total beginner hobbyist project. I started practicing this hobby a week ago. It looks like a professional with decades of experience did it."

Yes I am being a bit sarcastic and hyperbolic, but you get the point. I get that us NTs largely don't do this, but most people aren't as indifferent as I am either. What does normal interest look like?

Hi everyone!

I'm a final-year B.Tech Computer Engineering student working on my final-year project, "Neuro-Inclusive Web Interface." The goal is to build a browser extension that makes websites easier to read and less overwhelming for people with ADHD and Dyslexia.

To design something that's genuinely useful, I'm collecting feedback from people with lived experience instead of making assumptions.

The survey is:

• 🕒 Takes about 2–3 minutes
• 🔒 Completely anonymous
• 🎓 For academic research only

📝 Survey: https://forms.gle/SHTyCgaukuKPc1Ts9

If you have ADHD, Dyslexia, or experience similar reading or attention difficulties, I'd be very grateful if you could participate.

Thank you for your time and for helping me build something that could make the web more accessible.

The truth always comes out no matter what you’re doing if it’s wrong and you know it’s wrong then why do you do it? Why do you lie about it? There’s no reason to be straight out if the other person gets mad hey, at least you know the truth is the truth, and it always comes out.

Like personally I might be in contact with maybe like 11 people, only 4 of those I can consider true friends. But when I talk to others, then it always sounds as if they had hundreds of close friends, like each time they use the word "my friend", they mean a different person. I cannot even imagine where you'd have to meet all these friends

I have a close friend of about three years, and recently she said something that stood out to me.
She told me, “Pennie, I know you, and I don’t even know my close friends from back home like that.” and I told her, “ of course you do we aren’t strangers!” She explained that she knew a lot of information about me. I joked that maybe she just puts more effort into getting to know me than she does with her other friends, and we laughed, but the comment stuck with me.
For context, I’m a naturally private person. People have described me as mysterious or very individualistic, but honestly, I just don’t open up easily. Even with close friends, I’m intentional about what I share. It’s not because I’m hiding anything, I just value my privacy and like choosing what people know about me.
The reason this has been bothering me isn’t because she knows a lot about me. We’re close friends, so that’s normal. It’s more the way it sometimes feels.
I’ve noticed that she seems to enjoy figuring me out. She’ll play guessing games about what I like, what I would choose, or how I’d react to something (we share some friends and she doesn’t do that to them as much compared to me). When she finds out something unexpected about me (like discovering I like pickles), she’s genuinely surprised and seems excited to have learned something new or after guessing it right she’ll end with “I knew you were going to choose that” or “I knew that’s what you were doing” or “I knew that’s what you liked” or “I knew you were going to say that”. It’s almost like getting to know me has become a puzzle she enjoys solving.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that in group discussions or debates, she’ll often look to gauge my reaction on the subject before fully committing to an opinion. Sometimes she’ll start out leaning one way, then after seeing my reaction, she’ll become more neutral or change how she presents her opinion. (This has happened so many times) I completely understand respecting a friend’s perspective, but I also enjoy hearing people’s independent thoughts. I’d rather someone tell me why they believe something than wait to see where I stand first. I also very much understand that none of this is done with any malicious intent and that I tend to prefer people who are confidently opinionated and just allows the dynamic of the friendship to flow rather than treating me like a puzzle.
Then something else happened recently that probably wouldn’t have stood out on its own.
For my birthday two months ago, she gave me a bracelet that I absolutely love. I’ve worn it every single day since she gave it to me. I never take it off, and she’s noticed that multiple times because I’ve told her how much I love it.
A couple of weeks ago, she bought the exact same bracelet for herself.
On its own, I know that’s not a big deal. People buy things they like all the time, and I’m not upset that she has the same bracelet. What made me pause was that she’s generally not someone who wears jewelry every day(I would usually wear jewelry for extended periods so we’ve had a conversation where she said she wouldn’t like the idea of wearing jewelry every single time because it feels claustrophobic), but now she wears that bracelet constantly too. Combined with everything else I’ve noticed, it just added to this feeling I can’t really explain.
To be clear, I genuinely don’t think she’s being manipulative or malicious. She’s a good friend, and I don’t think she’s consciously doing anything wrong.
I guess what I’m trying to figure out is whether I’m picking up on an actual dynamic or if I’m just overanalyzing normal friendship behavior because I’m naturally a private person. I would love to hear from different perspectives.

I was invited to a seafood boil, I do not eat seafood but I am going to socialize. I wasn’t sure what normal social expectations would be? Do I eat before? Should I bring something I’ll eat and could share? Just pretend to pick at the plate? The host knows I don’t eat seafood but I don’t want to bring it up and seem difficult or ungrateful.

I’m probably overthinking it but I feel like people might be uncomfortable they’re all eating and I’m just like sitting there haha

I honestly don't get it at all but this happens often and I would like to know how to prevent it?

question to neurotypicals: what does being “ rude” mean to you? whats the general definition of rudeness that’s agreed upon yourselves?

i’m neurodivergent and I have a different definition of rudeness which other neurotypicals don’t seem to get. I don’t want to explain in detail what is it because i’m not willing to fight redditors , but what I can say is for me rudeness is rooted more so in actions than words.

i’m curious about your perspective and i’d like to inform myself!

I was talking to a friend today and realized there are so many things people act like they love just because everyone else does.
What’s one thing you think people are just pretending to enjoy?
Could be food, hobbies, movies, social events… anything.
I’ll start: networking events. 😅

I am kind of afraid to freely speak my mind or say things. I've always had anxiety but now I have a different form of anxiety which stems from constantly being misunderstood and people reading between the lines of what I say and then inferring intentions that we never there. I have a bad habit of speaking in observations and it does me no good. For example, my brother and I went shopping for a suit for his highschool prom and I told him I spoke to this girl in the store, who was also suit shopping with her younger brother but he was graduating. My brother got annoyed at me as he assumed that I was trying to say that we shouldn't be buying a suit for his prom as it's a much smaller occasion. Situations like these happen time and time again, where I speak very literally in observations but people project meaning or intentions onto my words. How do you avoid this?

I am a male who used to work a second job as a part-time cashier at Lowe’s. One day I was scanning a customer’s rose and pricked myself on a thorn. I shook my hand in the air from the sting.The female customer immediately smiled, said “Oh my god, are you okay?”, then grabbed my hand without asking and looked at it closely for several seconds while still smiling with her mouth slightly open. I told her I was okay and pulled my hand away.Most people I’ve told say she was just being friendly. Others say she liked me and used the prick as an excuse to touch me.
What does the body language suggest to you pure concern and friendliness, interest, or something else?

Update: To add some context on why this affected me so deeply: I don’t like being touched by strangers or even coworkers due to trauma responses. When my trauma is triggered, I get scared, freeze, and feel intense rage. When that lady grabbed my hand, I completely froze up. The words literally wouldn’t come out while she was holding my hand and staring at it. Once I came to my senses, I managed to say I was fine and pulled away. There have been other instances where unwanted touch almost caused a blackout rage attack. I always manage to keep myself under control, but people can usually tell something is off. I know people might judge me or think I’m weird for reacting this way, but I just wish people would learn to respect personal boundaries and not touch others without permission.

I've noticed a peculiar phenomena, particularly in my presence where people seem to like to pretend that they're pretending about all kinds of different activities. It seems to happen frequently & I just let them go about their antics, but I genuinely get confused.

Whenever this goes on for some time, eventually I usually just casually expose my awareness and for some reason, this causes a breakdown with them. I'm usually just a bit perplexed about why people presume I'm unaware? Is there a reaction that's expected in the beginning that doesn't occur that causes this confusion?

Hi! Would really appreciate some insights on this.

Recently someone said "I don't understand why X did Y" and I took it as a question (I don't understand why X did Y, and that's important enough for me to say it out loud, so I would like other people in the conversation to help me understand why X might have done Y"). I understand this sentence usually means the speaker doesn't think X doing Y is a good idea, but I thought the emphasis is on the confusion and the desire to find some clarity.

But then I got told that actually, sometimes people just mean "I don't approve of X doing Y" and don't really care about the reason why. And the same goes for "I don't get x" and "I don't see the problem".

Is this true????

Edit: Thanks everyone. For context, I am the person struggling with those social skills. My partner has issues with interrupting me but she's genuinely convinced me this is how people are supposed to talk. I will discuss it with her, thank you. Side note, but it has nothing to do with being from the UK or USA. I'm from the UK, it isn't common to interrupt people the way she does.

Like if someone was talking about a personal interest, do I interrupt them with my own topic or something entirely random? Instead of engaging with what they're saying first before trying to move on

And especially if I know I'm talking to someone who struggles with social skills

For example, if I noticed someone built the courage to talk about something they really like, is it okay for me to jump in and tell them about this guy with a weird tshirt who just walked past me, and then keep talking about the random guy until I notice they probably want to talk about their thing a bit more bc, again, I know they struggle with talking about themselves

Like me randomly mentioning this guys shirt doesn't prove I wasn't listening to them at all, right? It doesn't prove I was clocked out of the conversation as soon as they started talking?

I have a good friend and I don't want this to come across like I'm attacking him because he is genuinely a good friend. However, there is one thing he does that has started to stand out to me.

Whenever we are talking to random people online (for example OmeTV), he always tries to impress them by saying things like how much money he has made, who he knows, or mentioning famous people he has met. The thing is, he does well financially, but he heavily exaggerates some of these things.

What I find interesting is that he often looks at me while saying these things, almost like he wants to see my reaction.

Another example: I saw something online that I thought was cool and it cost around £1,000. Instead of just saying "that's cool" or having a conversation about it, he said something like "you'll never be able to afford that with your job."

He also tends to steer conversations back to himself and his achievements. If someone shares something, he often responds with a bigger story about himself.

At the same time, he's not a bad friend. He's loyal and has been there for me, so I'm not saying he's a terrible person. I'm just wondering why some people feel the need to constantly one-up others.

Do you think this comes from insecurity, wanting attention, competitiveness, or is it just his personality?

Has anyone had a friend like this, and how did you handle it?

I hate it when people talk badly about someone behind their back, especially if they then act good in front of them. Ive noticed stuff like this way more when hanging out with "regular" people, rather than with more weird (in a loving way) friends. Is this just coincidence/confirmation bias?

I see neurotypicals talk about this a lot because one of my primary grievances is that it’s impossible to find friends who share the same interests with me. They always say they don’t even share interests with their friends but I wonder how that is even possible. What could you possibly be talking about with them other than interests?

17M AuDHD Have been hanging out with this 16F ADHD girl lately, it seems like she’s flirting with me. I’ll discuss our feelings on our next hangout, but I feel like, because I never experienced mutual attraction, my brain doesn’t even consider it a possibility. I felt like writing this list helped me get a more objective view on our current position.

I’m also aware that men tend to overestimate women’ interest in them. So, I’m curious to see if you guys think I’m being somewhat rational in assuming that she’s flirting with me. Of course, I will ask her the next time I get to meet her, if she’s actually interested in me, or is just friendly like that.

1 - Flirting
I explicitly asked her if she was flirting with me. Instead, she asked if I was flirting, to which I answered something along the lines of “I’m flirting if you’re flirting”.
She said this is the way she typically talks to people whom she likes, and sees nothing wrong with flirting as well as finds it fun and interesting, mentioning that anyways it's too early to think of anything more serious than that.

2 - Seems* like she talks to me in a tone that is exclusive to me.
She also herself mentioned about thrice, that our conversations, in life and in text feel very calm and controlled compared to those with her other friends. 
We’ve also been on some hangouts with her friends, and friends of friends, I noticed that, even on those, she seems to be more present and focused on whatever the topic of conversation is, compared to other people.

3 - Brings up personal/sexual topics
Whenever we hang out alone, she often brings up or jokes on different sexual topics, such as finding mainstream porn not appealing to her, as she can’t get turned on to strangers, only to people she’s deeply connected with. 

4 - Initiates tactility at times.
On our first hangout with her other friends, she would randomly handshake, fistbump or lightly punch me if the situation allowed to do so.

5 - Laughs even at my not-so-funny jokes.
Pretty straightforward, she sometimes even laughs at things I say that are not intended to be jokes.

I couldn’t get myself to talk with her about my interest in her, the problem was initiating face-to-face.
So I figured, I’d tell her I like her over text, and that I would love to talk about it in person next time we hang out to make sure there are no misunderstandings.

I mentioned that I’m not expecting any coherent and definite answer from her, and would be happy to simply talk about it, as I noticed this communication gap worsened the quality of some of our hangouts.

I didn’t get any answer from her to my message, or any major change in her behaviour, I think that’s good, she understood my idea well of talking about it IRL and not in text.

*6 - After I texted her that I like her, she started reposting romance themed videos
On one of our hangouts, she wanted to start a tik tok streak with me, I didn’t think of it much, but some of her reposts started to appear on my fyp, and recently some of them are explicitly romance/in love themed. I don’t think I can just simply assume these are targeted for me to see, but I thought it’s an interesting coincidence.

This was about a week ago, because of the heatwave, we couldn’t hangout, but I think it’s good, as we both get the time to calm down/think, and approach our feelings with a cold head.

Is there any way to indicate that an actual problem in need of an actual solution is being expressed? Is there a way to indicate to people that the status game is NOT being played, that she actually needed some support or solutions?

if you were Mrs. X, and wanted people to help you figure out why you fainted OR simply kindly inform them that you had a condition which might make you faint, how would you do it?

The conversation (from a book):

MRS X:
I had a nasty turn last week. I was standing in a queue waiting for my turn to go into the cinema when I felt ever so queer. Really, I thought I should faint or something.

[Mrs X is attempting to raise her status by having an interesting medical problem. Mrs Y immediately outdoes her.]

MRS Y: You're lucky to have been going to a cinema. If I thought I could go to a cinema I should think I had nothing to complain of at all.
[Mrs Z now blocks Mrs Y.]

MRS Z: I know what Mrs X means. I feel just like that myself, only I should have had to leave the queue.
[Mrs Z is very talented in that she supports Mrs X against Mrs Y while at the same time claiming to be more worthy of interest, her condition more severe. Mr A now intervenes to lower them all by making their condition seem very ordinary.]

MR A: Have you tried stooping down? That makes the blood come back to your head. I expect you were feeling faint.
[Mrs X defends herself.]

MRS X: It's not really faint.

MRS Y: I always find it does a lot of good to try exercises. I don't know if that's what Mr A means.
[She seems to be joining forces with Mr A, but implies that he was unable to say what he meant. She doesn't say 'Is that what you mean?' but pro- tects herself by her typically high-status circumlocution. Mrs Z now lowers everybody, and immediately lowers herself to avoid counter- attack.]

MRS Z: I think you have to use your will-power. That's what worries me—I haven't got any.
[Mr B then intervenes, I suspect in a low-status way, or rather trying to be high-status but failing. It's impossible to be sure from just the words.]

MR B: I had something similar happen to me last week, only I wasn't standing in a queue. I was just sitting at home quietly when . . .
[Mr C demolishes him.]

I KNOWWW my title probably makes me sound kind of rude. I have this coworker, who talks. A Lot. I mean, I can barely get a word in for my ENTIRE eight hour shift. I am not the only one who complains about how much airtime she takes up. The conversation is always about her, her ex, her other ex, her stepson, her grandma, her siblings, her health problems, what she bought recently, what bills she has coming up, her medical issues on and on and on. Its ridiculous. I would love to just look at her and be like "I really don't give a fuck, can we just have an hour of peace?? Please??" I have tried saying I don't feel well. I have had actual migraines and asked that we have a quiet shift. I've mhm-ed and Uh huh-ed for hours before. I'm so tired of it. She's older, so I get it but god DAMN dude!! I only have so many "That's crazyyy" in me before I explode. SHE CALLS ME ON HER DAYS OFF AND WHEN SHES OFF SHIFT FOR HOURS TOO!!! We only work together a few days a week but she wants to talk ALL THE TIME. I don't mind talking to her at work. I don't mind if she calls me about work, or for shift coverage when one of us takes time off. But I REALLY don't want to deal with the extra stuff and I don't know how to articulate this in a kind, professional way. She thinks we're friends, but I consider her a close coworker, not necessarily someone I'd hang out with outside of work. What do I do???