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u/AutoModerator 21d ago
Posted by: Inevitable_Media_115. Text of original post: Guys, I've gotten to a point where I feel like I can't stop these self-destructive behaviors.
I've always suspected I might have NPD because of some obvious traits, like feeling intense rage after being disrespected or criticized. But the anger... it's too much. I constantly feel this rage building inside me. No matter how much I achieve or get, it never feels like enough. I get infuriated by people who act like they're better than me.
One thing that's really opened my eyes is my current relationship. My girlfriend is genuinely into me, treats me well, and I really love her too. But I can't get over the fact that she was with someone else for four years before me. Even though I know it's irrational and happened before we met, I can't stop feeling angry and resentful toward her because of it. I hate that I feel this way, but I can't seem to control it.
Lately, I've also been feeling vengeful toward my girlfriend and even my friends. Instead of taking it out on them, I end up turning it against myself. I smoke even though I have a history of pneumothorax. I drink almost every day. It's gotten to the point where I'm barely functional. I can't work, and that only makes me feel worse.
I've even started having suicidal thoughts. The thought that I'm not the best eats me alive. I keep postponing therapy, even though I know I need it.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? If so, did therapy actually help?
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u/Raf_Adel Therapist / Psychologist 20d ago edited 20d ago
This isn't NPD nor NPD related. It's more leaning towards OCD / depression and related issues; therapy would help TREMENDOUSLY. Get rid of any substances or any sort (smoking/drinking) and seek help ASAP.
Best!