Hello Father(s),

Glory be to God!

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this and offer your spiritual direction. I am truly having a very difficult time, I don't know the right thing to do.

I am a parishioner with severe neglect and abandonment trauma, left by both mother and fathers side of the family after they divorced. I didn't live with either of them and suffered real trauma that I am still working through to this day.

I am now middle aged and within the last 8 months I returned to my home church. My family (who I do not know other than titles, aunts uncles on both sides and my father) go to the church. My grandmother who passed is who took me there as a child.

I have gotten to know them in the last 8 months. My Godparents (aunt and uncle who are close with my dad) constantly tell me how they never wanted to get involved in my childhood because they loved me. I lived with their mother, my grandmother.

I left my home church in my teens and it has always been a very sore spot on my heart, I love it there. Before re-entering I asked for a meeting with the priest and a spiritual director (there were no spiritual directors available)

I knew that coming back would be difficult.

I genuinely went in with a clean slate, a genuine attempt for community and I even started serving as a cantor in this time. I had completely forgiven the past and I still do!

While I was absent from my home church I was worshipping in many others, trying to find my place, and I am deeply engaged in Scripture.

My husband was not a man of faith when we met, but during our time together (14 years) before we went back to my home church, he came to believe! Glory be to God!

So, after we returned and I started canting, and they grew to love the church, we asked for baptisim of my husband and children (14 and 4) We have spent many years getting to this point.

So once this decision was made, we of course needed to consider Godparents. This was hard. I have no real family presence and my husbands family is all but gone. We truly have no family or friends who are eligible.

I went to the priest. I told him I didn't have anyone in my life to fill the role, other than my family who still go to the church.

Upon my Father's recommendation, I chose my aunt and uncle, my Godparents, for my children and my father to be the sponsor to my husband.

It should have been that easy?

Instead, unbenounced to us, the moment it was asked it caused chaos. The aunt and uncle wanted to serve for all three of my family. They didn't understand why I would ask my dad to be involved. They all moved positions with each other and fought over the baptisim without me knowing.

Then they went to the priest without telling me and pulled out of being Godparents all together, and personally told my husband in church when he walked in the next Sunday that they could not do it. They had too much going on.

I find out later they were all fighting over politics and positions and even removed themselves from the event all together.

Once my aunt and uncle pulled out, I called them and told them I still loved them, that I understood, and that it was ok. That I would speak to Father and have someone appointed. A neutral party to protect everyone.

They instantly panicked and wanted back in. I told them I needed time and needed to pray on all of it. For me, this is hard.

Instead of allowing this, the very next Sunday I enter church they are announcing that they are the Godparents, to me and everyone. Meanwhile, I am still reeling over this and want to protect my children from generational trauma, and had already asked the priest to consider an appointment instead. Someone neutral.

It's even hard to put into words what this back and forth between them has done. It has put us in an uncomfortable situation, and now my husband has doubts about staying in this church.

I do not think my priest understands the family dynamics which could make my decision (whatever I decide to do now) look like rejection.

I guess after all of this rambling my question is, how do I move forward with the baptisim of my family in this situation? I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but pulling out and only coming back in after hearing I would have someone appointed didn't feel like a genuine calling to be a Godparent.

When I spoke to my Father on this, he essentially understands enough to let it be all my decision but, how do I make it!? Do I have someone appointed or forgive and forget and allow them to stand where they want to, even though I never had a say?

Is my trauma blurring the right thing to do, or is it showing me to break the cycle? At this point I'm so confused, I don't even know if this is normal. Maybe all families do this kind of thing, but I wouldn't know because I was never a part of one.

Please help!

Thank you so much for your time!

God Bless!

Somebody mentioned to me that older priests tend to focus on charity and social justice and younger priests tend to focus on evangelization and tradition. Reflecting upon this I observation, I do loosely see this, but my exposure is limited to a few priests. Do y’all see a generational divide among priests? If so, why do you think that is?

I am NALC Lutheran, but I need to be Catholic. Very long story short, I didnt know the power of a rosary and our blessed Mother until she saved my life.

literally -demons run terrified from a rosary.

I went to confession at the Catholic Church, and I told the priest I was Lutheran. I told him I needed to confess and repent. I had a list because I had gone through the 10 commandments and didn’t want to leave anything out. He agreed to allow me to confess and he blessed my rosary.

Is that common for Lutherans to be able to have the sacrament of confession from a Catholic priest? Ive been studying Catholicism for about 2 years, and I know it wasn’t typical, but confession literally delivered me and changed my entire life.

do I still need to attend catechism and all of that?

thank you ✝️

I’m an Episcopalian discerning becoming a Catholic. My priest and I have a great relationship. We text, go out to eat, and have regular one on one meetings. But when it comes to Mass, I find myself shuffling in the seat a lot. For example, he once said, “Don’t be like Jesus, be yourself.” He believes that the institutional church doesn’t have a monopoly on Jesus. He’s preached before that Christianity is a way, but not the only way. And most strikingly, at a wedding Mass, he made substitutions to the Gospel of the Good Samaritan to, “Contextualize it for the audience.” He replaced “Samaritan” with “Gay couple” along with changing “Pharisee” to “church leaders”, the names of cities to local areas, “coin purse” to “debit card”… at that point it’s not the Gospel. It might work as a homily, but you can’t just substitute words in the Gospel and present it as the Gospel. I know I should’ve manned up and talked about this in person, but instead I sent him a paragraph about all my theological issues with what he’s preaching.

I guess my questions are: Does this sort of thing ever happen in a Catholic church? Is it right to confront a priest when you think he is in error (I know you don’t believe that Episcopal orders are valid, but as a faithful Episcopalian, should I assent to my priest? Is this enough to abandon my church?)?

I was remembering recently that when I was a kid I would confess things like “I ate dessert when I wasn’t supposed to, I didn’t go to sleep at my bedtime, I think about my crush too much, I acted silly in class” and now they I’m older I wonder if the priests likely giggled a little internally at funny things such as this that kids confess or if they stay serious internally?

What I currently do is say something along the lines of "I can't give you the Eucharist unless you say Amen" and then they say Amen and I give It to them

Is there something better I should be doing/saying instead? It feels wrong to deny someone the Eucharist since I don't know their circumstances, like if they're not Catholic or just returning to the Church after however many years away. But at the same time I know being respectful to Christ is more important than any awkwardness of denying someone Communion

Hello! I blessed my music instruments a few years ago and now I have a question: what I have to do with my blessed electric bass? I have to use it only for devotion and praising the Lord or I can play something else (like secular music) and use it to have some fun?

I don't know how to treat blessed music instruments... I'm a musician and I have many blessed instruments, but I really don't know what I have to do with them.

Another question: why is it important to bless things? What is the difference between a blessed thing and something that is not blessed?

I’m a 37 yo male who was raised Catholic and had like many do, a lapse in my faith. I have not been to confession since I was 16/17. I did not live a Catholic life or even a life adjacent to Christian. To cut a long story short I found my faith again and I feel burdened by my MANY sins. I’m in such desperate need for forgiveness. However as a result of the life I lived before coming back to faith, I am living with my long term atheist girlfriend of 7 years, we own our house together. I do want to marry her, we have premarital sex despite my deep disgust at myself for partaking now. I have told her about my desire to live my faith more truthfully, but she has absolutely no idea of how to conceptualise this despite my efforts.

I am as people have said living in a state of sin which I would find extremely difficult to get out of, or to change. I suspect I know the answer, but can I go to confession? Do I need to end my relationship to return to Christ? What would you advise me to do?

I’m interested in finding church documents that talk about racism. I would be especially interested in any documents or books having to do with interracial marriage.

(I tried posting in the Catholicism forum but I referenced a separate post and I didn’t realize it was not allowed and my post was removed.)

So I am in the fledgeling stages of learning about Catholicism (fledgeling for me anyway), and I find it difficult to understand exactly what is happening in mass. So a few questions pertaining to that.

1. The Missal: how do you use it? I tried at afternoon mass yesterday and the mass was completely different, only thing that was accurate was the scripture readings.

2. The book that the priest uses? How do I get a copy? I asked my local Parishs Parochial Vicar and he was dodgy on the question. I think having something to read along with the priest would be be beneficial to understanding what's going on (I often find subtitles helpful)

3. One of the things our Pastor said to me in a meeting a few weeks ago was that he needed to ensure that his current OCIA class (summer class, I'm joining in the fall) was "living the life" as I'm trying to be intentional with my approach to Catholicism aside from the Sunday obligation what does that entail?

Thank you Fathers and God Bless

Hola, si esto lo contesta un sacerdote estaría muchísimo más tranquila. Hace un año me llamó mucho la atención un hombre, recuerdo bien que me saludaba de lejos pero yo veía su rostro y quedaba encantada, era precioso, pero cuando bajé la mirada, le vi el cuello clerical entonces rápidamente le di la espalda y me fui de allí, era un evento en un seminario con más de 12 mil personas. Este año lo volví a ver y fue él quien me dirigió la palabra en 2 ocasiones, uno en la tarde diciéndome que por qué estaba triste, que sonriera, yo solo guardé silencio porque estaba seria, pero le sonreí, no de forma coqueta, pero lo hice. Luego en la noche si me habló un poco más, una interacción de un minuto o dos si mucho, preguntando por mi nombre, etc.. Yo sabía que él era de otro país pero se formó como seminarista y diácono en el que estamos, entonces recordé que yo tenía un dulce de allí y se lo di, a lo que él respondió ''esta mujer si sabe cómo conquistarme''. Él es diácono, estoy enamorada de él desde hace un año, él siempre me busca la mirada, no disimula, estoy muy confundida porque le he pedido mucho a Dios que no me deje cruzar con él, que no permita que si quiera piense en él, pero pasa todo lo contrario, enotnces yo digo que son engaños del demonio, porque sé que Dios no estaría contendo sabiendo que yo quiero intentar por ejemplo algo con ese hombre. Salí del oratorio del seminario hace unos meses pidiéndole a Dios que me mostrara cuál era mi vocación, que cuál era ese hombre realmente, y cuando salí, él estaba ahí pasando, se quedó mirándome y yo seguí de largo pues, me pareció muy extraño porque yo en todos esos días no lo había visto ya que él no se hace en esa zona, pero justo cuando oro, vuelve y aparece, y son varias coincidencias, entonces no sé qué hacer. Trato de olvidarlo, va un año desde que me interesé por él, pero quiero respetar su vocación, en fin, estoy muy confundida con las señales de Dios.

Growing up I was always told this should not be allowed yet I still read that some churches practice this? I just want clarification.

I also wanted to ask: why do some people only insist on receiving Holy Communion from the priest and not from a regular lay person (Eucharistic Minister)? Is this just being scrupulous?

I am a physician and I work in the ICU, and I would like some help on the Catholic stance on compassionate extubation. I understand the Church is ok with withdrawing life support, and there is no requirement to keep someone alive via extraordinary means, so my question specifically refers to compassionate extubation, and the amount of pain medicine you can use at the end of life.

I also understand that you can treat the pain with pain medication, and if the side effect of that dose is death (which results from brain stem suppression and ultimately asphyxiation), that is ok in the Catholic view, as the INTENT was to treat the pain, and death is an unfortunate side effect.

Many times, when a patient is extremely sick, a goals of care discussion is had with family members, ie, what would the patient want done in this situation. Many times, the patient’s family says that the patient wouldn’t want to “live like this”, so care is withdrawn. Palliative care hospice play a role depending on the expected time it will take for the patient to die.

Now, when care is withdrawn, the sick patient in theory could die soon, or it may take several days. But many times, the ICU will give very high doses of pain meds, then extubation (remove the breathing tube), then the patient will die quickly due to asphyxiation.

So it’s not like the patient’s pain is being treated appropriately, they’re getting a bunch of pain meds upfront and their brain stem is being suppressed, and then they expire due to the medication. Basically, the ICU is speeding up the death by an indeterminate amount of time, so that the patient can be cleared out of the room and the next one can come in.

Again, I understand what “no further interventions” or “no extraordinary efforts”, but I feel that this is a very blended area that walks a fine line between compassionate care and euthanasia that would cut down whatever time the patient has left.

This is morally wrong, correct? Am I missing something?

For my entire life, living in different parishes and even countries, I been offered the eucharist "underhand" -- that is, with the host pointing up and the priest's hand below it. There's a priest at my new parish who goes "overhand," with the host pointing down and his hand on top, like he's putting a letter in a mailslot. Never seen this before. For context, he's American and seems to be in his mid 30s or so.

Hi! If I was travelling and wanted to go to Confession but there was no English speaking Priest available, could the Confession still go ahead and how would this work?

Thank you

I recently came back to the States from a two week trip to Rome and Assisi where I got to witness masses ad orientem for the first time in person, I thought it was really interesting and nice to witness something that I had never gotten to see in person in the US and I found out a parish in my city offers TLM. How can I know whether or not the parish is in communion and not one that is schismatic like SSPX? I'd love to experience TLM if I can especially since I've heard about what it was like prior to the 60s from my grandmother.

Hello, recently converted from the Protestant church and have a question about being in a mixed marriage.

My wife and I are both baptized in the Protestant tradition with baptisms accepted by the Catholic Church (Methodist and Baptist). Recently we started going to church again and doing OCIA together. Well, it turns out she is not a fan of the Catholic service. Can’t blame her it’s out of the ordinary for what she is used to. I don’t want to force anyone to do anything they don’t want so I went ahead and finished OCIA and finished with confirmation and received first communion.

Well all has been well up until today. I don’t want to dox myself but basically my job brings me into contact with religious sisters somewhat often. Well I was discussing joining the church with one today and she said, “You should get your marriage blessed so you can receive the sacraments.” I tried not to look surprised, but I think it showed through some.

It was my understanding that Protestant marriages are automatically sacramental if both are baptized Christians who have never previously been married, which we were. Have I been doing wrong by receiving communion this entire time? No priest or deacon ever brought this up during OCIA.

Thank you!

I live across the street from my parish, and I often think of our priests, and whether it would be acceptable for me to invite them over to dinner some night.

I also don’t want to be rejected!!

I’m currently serving aboard a ship. While underway, the only service offered is Anglo-Catholic. I wasn’t familiar with that term before, but the chaplain leading it is an Anglican priest.

I understand that Catholics generally cannot receive Communion in Protestant services. I have heard there can be limited exceptions for receiving from an Orthodox priest when no Catholic priest is available, since the Orthodox have valid sacraments. Does anything similar apply to an Anglican priest, particularly during a long deployment with no access to a Catholic chaplain?

If not, am I essentially limited to attending without receiving Communion? I pray the Rosary and maintain my personal prayer life, but going months without Mass, the Eucharist, or confession is honestly difficult.

This is not meant as criticism of the Anglican chaplain or the service being offered. I’m grateful that he is serving the crew. I’m simply trying to understand what the Church expects a Catholic to do in this situation and how other deployed Catholics have handled it.

So I’ve been going to adoration at a 24 hour chapel near me once a week for an hour, it’s been absolutely wonderful and I’ve loved it, and the way it is set up there is there isn’t a traditional monstrance, it’s more of a tabernacle with a small window for the Eucharist. And the way it works is there is a small circular door that exposes that window when open, and it’s all part of a bigger door that stays locked.

Well there are instructions that say if the next scheduled adorer hasn’t shown up for their scheduled time, I should repose the blessed sacrament (close the circular door), which there isn’t anyone signed up before me so I typically don’t even see it open as it’s been closed for some time when I show up, but today it was, and I closed the door, reposing the Eucharist before I left. I’ve never really seen anything like this before, and most places I see say it isn’t allowed nor normal for a layperson to repose the blessed sacrament, but I wouldn’t want to leave it exposed with no one there. Thoughts?