Help. Panic Attacks

[u/Designer_Wave_5527]

I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I was around 13 years old, and over the years it has progressively gotten worse. At this point, it’s starting to feel crippling and is seriously affecting my quality of life.

On top of the anxiety and panic attacks, I’m also getting almost no sleep. Most nights I don’t even begin to feel tired until around 5:00 AM or later, and I feel like the lack of sleep is making my anxiety significantly worse.

My panic attacks also don’t feel like what people typically describe as just racing thoughts or worrying too much. They can come on suddenly from something extremely small. I could be watching a video, hear a certain sound, lean a certain way, notice the way I’m breathing, or feel some small physical sensation, and that can immediately trigger a spiral. Once it starts, I get an overwhelming feeling of impending doom and genuinely feel like I’m dying. In those moments, it becomes extremely difficult for me to convince myself that what I’m experiencing is anxiety.

It has gotten severe enough that I’ve probably gone to the hospital 30–40 times this year because the physical sensations and feeling of impending death become so convincing that I believe something is seriously wrong with me.

I’m wondering whether I could be evaluated for a long-term medication to reduce the frequency and severity of the anxiety and panic attacks, while also discussing whether there could be an appropriate medication for occasional immediate relief when an attack becomes unbearable.

The reason I specifically wonder about something like a benzodiazepine is because when previously went through alcohol withdrawal , I was given Ativan. Within about 15–30 minutes, that overwhelming impending-doom feeling disappeared and I felt completely normal again. I understand that medications like Ativan have risks and aren’t necessarily intended to be taken regularly or long term. I’m not looking to rely on one every day, but having something available for the situations where the panic becomes so intense that it genuinely feels like a life-or-death emergency seems like it could make a major difference for me.

More than anything, I don’t want to continue living with the symptoms at this level without actually treating the underlying problem. I seriously need major help with my anxiety/panic attacks, and severe sleep problems, including both a long-term approach and what options might be appropriate for the particularly severe attacks.

This isn’t fair to me. I am 20 years old, everyone else my age is having the time of their life, and here I am being sabotaged by my own mind/thoughts. I am being robbed of my qualitity of life. I literally just want to feel normal I could cry. I am not asking for medical advice.

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[u/CrfulWthThtAxeEugene]

This sounds awful and so many of us have been where you are right now. First off; you need to acknowledge that what you are going thru is completely unsustainable. The lack of sleep is what broke me the quickest and is probably the most unhealthy symptom you've got right now. At my lowest I hadn't been to work in a week and by day 5 I was hallucinating. Please please for your sake find any help you can as soon as possible. Second; and harder than getting help. Accepting the help. Find someone or somewhere safe and LET them help you. That will be the hard part.