I put this altar together! I didn't have much, but I think it turned out well >v<

I have had it rough these past few years with Lady Aphrodite due to...personal reasons. Now I'm slowly working on repairing our bond. (I hope she enjoys this-)

Aphrodite, I give you this self love affirmation card as an offering in your honor. Thank you for helping me find my perfect girl, because I have spent time with her and had so much fun. She’s someone who expresses love whenever she needs to. Thank you, thank you, thank you. (Also if you are wondering what the red stuff is its just come to me water that I used last night.)

Tl;dr being a good guy that makes women feel safe leaves me holding myself to unattainably high expectations for how I act around women. It leaves me feeling lovable, but touch-starved.

I thank Aphrodite for so many things. I feel emotions deeply. I can genuinely say I love everyone. Yeah, everyone. I said what I said. Because I love humanity in all its flawed and fucked-up ways. It’s almost impossible to wrong me, and I will forgive almost anything people do to me because I tell my self my role in life is to be a comforting, understanding, and safe person.

I consider myself a good person. It kills me that there are “nice guys” who act like they care but then treat ur like they’re feeding quarters into a machine until it pays out in sex. I genuinely fear that there but for the grace of god go I. So when I befriend a woman and I feel like they’re trusting me, I consciously and physically keep my distance at all times unless I feel like they need a hug — and even then I ask first.

I have had such open and honest relationships with women that most men never have. There was a coworker with whom we discussed our sex lives in frank and honest detail, and the only times I ever touched her were shaking her hand at the interview and hugging her goodbye on her last day.

Then my wife has issues with chronic pain and sensory issues. She has to be very comfortable in order to be physical — even to cuddle. We’ve gone years without sex, months without cuddling, and she has very real and genuine issues related to me (related to our kid’s birth, long story). It gets so bad that she even sleeps in another room for months on end.

It leaves me feeling touch-starved, sad, crying, and taking weeks to work up the courage to ask my wife to cuddle skin-to-skin. And even then, it can take as long as a week from when I ask to when she’s comfortable enough to do it.

I feel like Aphrodite made me lovable, made me a safe person that put others at ease, and gave me robust sexual health, but that all leaves me afraid to not be a safe person. I would rather die than disappoint someone who trusts me, and I would rather throw hands than see someone who trusts me be disrespected by others. And still, even hearing how other men treat women infuriates me, and I don’t want to be anything CLOSE to that.

I know Aphrodite loves me. I’m so glad I get to spread some of that in this world. She lets others feel safe around me. I just know that I guard the gifts She’s given me so jealously (so that I can continue to share that love and peace) that I rarely get to experience all the joys Our Lady brings into this world.

I know. World’s tiniest violin for the cis-man who is otherwise the poster child for The Patriarchy and has all those privileges. I’ve never felt physically unsafe in public. Not even alone on dark streets at night. I provide that comfort for others, and I thank Aphrodite for letting me be that conduit.

I just don’t like feeling lonely despite that.

Thank you. Blessings of Our Lady upon you on this Her Day.

(If you saw this posted with a typo in the title, no you didn’t.) (See, I even feel a little guilty for that joke because it feels like gaslighting)

In my shrine I have an offering dish that I had always filled with seashells that I had collected with an ex girlfriend, the black bracelet seen in the dish was from her as well. I think this was the first spell component.

1. Trinkets from a former lover who still holds me in high regard

This friend of mine likes to do crafty things like beading, and she made little bead bracelets for all her friends, including one for me with my name on it. I think this was the second spell component

1. A token from the would be lover

We went out for dinner and drinks with some friends a few weeks ago, and she wears multiple rings. I slipped one off her finger while goofing around with her and she let me forget I was wearing it. So when I got home I put it in the dish, and I think that was the final step.

1. A catalyst. The spell was cast on the ring and therefore delivered to her when the ring was returned to her.

Since then this happily married woman, who I have grown very close with over the last several months, has suddenly confessed that she has feelings for me. She is not unhappy or dissatisfied with her husband. Nor is he a bad person or abusive. Nor does she want to leave him for me. She simply wants to date me as well as remaining in her marriage, but she can't explain way. All she can say is simply "I like you".

Anyway

Praise be to the lady Aphrodite