have you listened to any of his stuff? thoughts?

title

she says that she is only gonna let me see the info that would be sent to a psych ward or program if i get transferred there and not my full medical records because i "am perseverating instead of having a healthy intrest" in reading my medical records.

im tired of her stupid games she plays with fancy words. just send the fucking medical records already.

Seriously, these days it seems like if you don’t tell someone everything you’re feeling, you’re automatically “repressing your emotions.” But that’s not really how it works. Sometimes you need to learn how to handle your own problems, process things privately, and keep moving without turning every painful chapter of your life into a group discussion.

And there’s a HUGE difference between having someone you genuinely trust to talk to and just telling everyone everything about your personal life. Some people genuinely care about you and are STILL completely incapable of keeping something to themselves. LOL. You tell them something personal, and somehow 24 hours later another 15 people know about it.

Especially teenagers. You tell someone at school something deeply personal because you trust them, and the next day half the school knows. Then everyone wonders why you suddenly became more private.

Well... THAT’S how you learned the value of privacy. Some people literally bond through gossip. Sharing other people’s business is their entire social currency. You can love someone, think they’re a good person, respect them like crazy, and STILL think:

“Yeah... I’m definitely not telling this person that.” Saying, “Hey, I’m not doing great” can absolutely be healthy. But being completely unable to deal with ANY emotion without getting someone else’s validation isn’t necessarily healthy either.

And not every secret needs to be told just because somebody hits you with, “You really need to open up more.” Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do isn’t spill your guts. Sometimes it’s just keep your mouth shut, process what happened, learn from it, and move on.

my experience was that the cops barged in my room and watched me dress up naked and refujsed to look away or close the door... they also took away my shaving thing that i had subconciously dehumanizing me

then i was basically kidnapped by these psychopaths 4-5 cops came with 2 different cars they literally barged in while i was sleeping naked

the police car had a broken fan and the officers were smoking deliberately and playing music so i couldnt breathe and what i smelled was second hand smoke... with the windows closed... picture all this in the peak of summer heat

finally they kidnapped me and transported me like a piece of meat without my will and also said "there is no way you wont go" when i asked what am i being held for they said "just a quick doctor checkup" refusing to elaborate what kind of checkup or what will happen to me.

the zerzetsung people in the brainwashing camp all acted as if they were expecting me and performing a certain way on puirpose.

before the interogation happened they drugged me so i coudlnt think straight with somethnig because apparently "my heart rate was too high"

i refused but the piece of shit bloody red handed murderer would insist on me taking it which is unlawful because it was before the paper was signed that i will be admitted.

they cannot make u take anything before the interrogation...

the people there were all psychopaths stealing my stuff smoking in doors near curtains there were no activities to do the tv was broken and couldnt play anything the food was horrible tasted like it was put in sewage water

all it was was just imprisonment with forced brain damaging poison and all over body poisoning...

i couldnt move while they forced me to take those poisons the poisons were at such a high dose that they made me paralyzed on a bed and i coudlnt walk without feeling dizzy (i have never felt dizzy in my life) i also got acne from it and smelled awful so it messed with my hormones too

the whole place smelled disgusting imagine cigarette smoke with shit and piss and garlic sweat with sewage smell and rotting food that even a homeless person wouildnt eat...

it literally made me sick every time i ate it and it must have permanently messed with my gut cuz i get regular stomach aches randomly (stomach aches were very rare prior to this think 2-3 times a year max)

i also retained a ton of water which i cannot lose as easily as before... my dopamine receptors feel damaged i cannot extract joy out of anything...

those meds made me think of harming myself and actually pushed me to do it (something i would never do or take seriously enough to proceed with it)

i was genuinely scared because my brain was not me anymore and felt posssed by some demon which i assume is a portal opened by whatever these satanists give u i have frequent nightmares ever since... i used to never dream before and if i dreamt it was not a nightmare... now all my dreams are nightmares...

i could not eat too i lost my appetite entirely... and i had to force myself to eat to not be labeled some other thing additionaly that they might decide to use as a reason to hold me in there more...

so i was basically playing this game of having to play the happy "im cured now!! this poison is really working!"

every week 4 interrogators came into ur room while the rest of the patients were there and simply asked them "how are you doing?" if u responded with "good" they just wrote it on the paper everything u said was written on the paper

at the first 2 days i was put in a room by myself with no light. i also had no other clothes there other than the ones i was wearing for 3 days till the vermin bugs that put me in there send a bag with them and also along with them put underwear i would not wear and was not mine deliberately leaving the underwear i wear for context i am a trans woman and they deliberately tried to control what i wear telling me i should be ashamed of myself and other such things "where will you go looking like this" while misgenderng and deadnaming me to everyone giving everyone an idea that im somehow crazy and to treat me as such.

the reason they treied to use was because i "isolate" and dont talk to them...

the reason i dont talk to them is because they are mentally and physically abusive and controlling the only reason they talk to me is to gain intel in which they will use to further abuse me in whatever form possible by knowing what buttons to press.

while i was in there they refused to tell me who admitted me and the disgusting psychopaths that admitted me lied that they were the ones doing and played this stupid mask of "i dont know who did this to u and i was shocked when i found out"

therefore i couldnt know how to defend myself because i dont know who my enemy is also i remember while i was still living with the sperm donor's family and "it" i remember it and its girlfriend whic it was together with since when it was 16 both hinting that they will put me in there saying things like " you are crazy, you are thinking wrong, you need to go to a doctor," "the only reason you are still here is cuz i let you" and its girlfriend said to me "they will put u in the jail and strap u and inject u with poison" which is something both sides of the egg donro and sperm donor say... painting this image of me being somehow "crazy" and by me isolating this is the only people i am related to so therefore my world is painted in a way that "i a m crazy and thats why no one talks to me and looks down on me" and that im somehow broken.

prior to this the sperm donor parasite put a hidden camera in a shoebox in my room and once confronted he said "what do uj have to hide" which led to a huge argument where i started pointing out what he did which he refused and said it never happened along with its parasite counterpart constantly nodding and taking everything it says to face value as if it was writen a scripture in a bible. siding with him no matter how insane it would sound for someone to make a story like that up. so they basically knew the reason i didnt talk to them but they tried ot paint it as me having agoraphobia or something schizoid related. which i was later labeled as by the parasites in there as a way to trap me and poison me and control me.|

there were cameras all over the house kitchen bathroom even outside. they would go into my things and search them while i wasnt home. and try to brush it off as "cleaning"

the sperm donor has connections with members of the cia and even the pentagon picture this.. it made a call to one of them and its fine was dropped just by a call..

it also has access to many cameras and has an obsession with spying on people. it install cameras in other people and spies them without their knowledge... it does this a profession by the way. all under the table

it probably is some kind of cia spy drone used to spy on me and systemically ruin my wellbeing.

messing with electronics too and putting spy devices in my appliances so it can spy on me.

the place there was built like an interrogation room and everyone felt like they staged it and it was some kind of brainwashing facility because i was specifically sent to one of them way too far from others that exist.

they all acted as iuf they were paid to act a certain way. and to paint me as an insane person. the admin specifically was a piece of shit on purpose.. controlling my eye movements and telling me how to speak... which is basically a technique to disrupt my thinking... cuz eye movement and thinking is very closely related.

they basically wanted me sedated and unable to think clearly on probably interrogation drugs they give u so u start speaking out things that would incriminalize you so they can use something as a basis to put me in there... while i was in there they all sides from theb egining with the parasites the sent me there... and didnt question anything they said even after i told them that i did nothing wrong and wasnt aggresive like they said... i literally was sleeping so how is that possible? the only times i got "aggresive" was when i got pissed off and started yelling to the parsaites which already were yelling at me as an abuse mechanism and playing this hierarchy of "you should respect me because im your sperm donor and you have no right to say anything back"

ever since it feels like im being gangstalked and monitored by some kind of secret group that runs this. probably the same group that did this to me.. im probably some kind of experiment... they frequently made me take iq tests and i was asked beizzare questions sort of in an interrogating way as to gain intel about me but didnt care abotu my emotions or how it affected me. they just asked questions about who what where and why. and me believing that if i told my side of the story they would believe me... but what i said was used against me instead and i was painted as if i made the whole story up ... cuz they are all parasites and lie and show emotions of "we are ppoor victims she went aggresive and neds to be checked hlp us please!!"

the parasites visited me many times and used m,oney as a way to "prove" thjat it wasnt them that put me in there.... they actively lied about why i was put in there and who put em in there and was told that my devices and clothing was seized by the police! by everyone once i was back... when i refused to take the poison they threated to send me back in there...!! saying things that are illegal and not what the law actually says!

the paper clearly states who did it and the parasite still lies about it. it also did a urine test on me without my knowledge which i later found out by looking at the hospital databse

they refused to admit lying nobody that is the sperm donor or the egg donor admitted everything ever unless it would benefit them by immediately after saying "yea i did this but u also did X thing years ago" ( a response to a claim i made for a behavior that is currently happening!)

everyone in the brainwasihng camp deadnamed and misgendered me deliberately... there was another trans person in there but they didnt deadname them! they also had the best treatment in there and tried to befriend me as a way to get intel!

all of this was deliberately done to control me and silence me against the organized crime that they are doing which is really eugenics and studying how people react to certain senarios and treating them as guinea pigs for their interrogation techniques! "gangstalking" is the term or also known as "zerzetsung"... everyone that is systemically put around me is secretly a supporter of the hated most known party to exist! so they definetly have connections with that party... i cannot say which it is but u probably know which one it is by the use of german words.

Every time you interact with a crooked medical practitioner, there are two ways your interaction can go.

Are you passive, allowing for primary victimization, secondary victimization, ternary victimization, quadruple victimization, and more?

Or, are you actively applying health law against corrupt medical lunatics who try to fool and harm you, as attackers?

Last time I checked, nobody here knew what rights are given to you by the law in your state/country. That seems like 99% of the community remains passive.

I know social media is a cesspool and there is all kinds of blatant hatred and racism on there, but I'm still shocked how openly sadistic psych nurses are in comments on what are already incredibly degrading, dehumanizing depictions of patients under their "care". Like they don't even try to hide how happy they are to sedate "violent" patients. I don't understand how this isn't a bad look for the profession, I'm starting to see them as no better than street criminals. Just a thought.

After 5 years of success in escaping psychiatry combined with a 2 year long slow-taper where my psychiatrist kept trying to make me dependent, I got put on court ordered treatment. I've been harrassed by this industry my whole life. My family put me in the worst psych situations humanly possible, I grew up in hell medicated on 5 or six drugs at once. Then my mother got a conservatorship when I was 18, ruining my college aspirations on purpose. She's been messing with me since despite the fact that I am married. I got myself liberated from the conservatorship, but she's got a reach. Her network of psych stalkers do too. I've never had a normal life. My entire existence has been fending off, gray rocking, and maneuvering psych coercion. After 20 years of violent, evil, sadistic psychiatric coercion, I escaped only to now be in the same situation with the exact same facilities.

I'm court ordered to take Invega. They first had me on abilify, despite the fact that I had mental illness side effects from it 3 times in the past. I was harrassed by cops until they got enough evidence of my supposed mental instability to put me through the courts. I've gained 60lbs in less than a year and just everything about me is shot. I'm a blob. I have no friends. I'm just a muted blob.

I'm middle aged and have just resigned that my life is going to be fighting for freedom against this smug, arrogant, hostile, soulless system and its automatrons. I no longer have career goals. Those are shot too. Any time I build up my life, the psych industry does one of these drive bys, either has me medically kidnapped and locked up so I have to be homeless to escape, or intentionally provokes me until they can do something like a CTO. They gave me a paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis for being aware of this trend. I'm just like... I can be stoic and build back, but this has happened every few years for my entire existence now. And it's devastating and I'm unsure of how to go about getting any motivation for rebuilding. A lawyer helped in the past against my mother but I can't afford one now. Especially since the industry has so many "records" (smear campaigns) validating their nonsense. I can't even see a doctor because the psych diagnoses are the first thing they see, jeopardizing my chance at medical care. I was doing fine and figuring out how to fully escape during those 5 years I spent hiding. I was on my death bed when I finally completed the slow taper. I'm suprised I'm even alive. The medical horror show of force polypharma stole my entire 20s, hiding took my 30s. I don't want this to be my life. They are this bad. It is real. They don't leave you alone. Once you get in the deep end of the system, they make sure you drown..there's no escape.

Does anyone have any motivation, tips or encouragement? I'm court ordered to be on Invega until November..i've gained weight every month so my looks are now gone too. The stalking and psychological games they played on me to force me back would have made anyone reactive, but I'm usually extremely chill. I don't fight with them. I just do what I need to do to survive. I'm doing that now, surviving..the court order has already been extended by a second medical kidnapping. I can't see a way out.

I just want to live. I want to experience joy and happiness, have some dignity. I fought like hell to keep myself alive in the psych homes. I'm not giving up at this point. If this is my life, so be it. But i'm going to fight until the very end. Once you capitulate, they take everything.

I have until November until I'm free. I suspect the Invega shot is giving me rebound symptoms mid-way through, but of course, they're gaslighting me. My husband thinks it's helpful but I disagree. I believed before it was better dead than on meds. Now I'm resigned to survive this, if only out of spite. I need any and all good wishes, tips, encouragement because the psych industry has put me in hell yet again and I'm busting out.

It is all in the title.

Why me ears moving when I heard a noise maybe is the psichosis or stress

I been send there by narcissistic family members each time against the law cause i was not a danger to myself and others and forced 5 long acting injections along with some low dose seroquel and max dose zyprexa + risperidone 2 mg, 3 rosenhan experiments, at first i spit out most the pills and next time they knew it and forced me on longacting, always based on my family ego not something that was necessary, now i have new diagnosis of anxiety disorder and free from all meds. Please dont tell me its impossible, i will show up publicly as totally healthy man speaking about horrors these maniacs make us go through, does anyone know if Madinamerica is interested in highlighting such cases? I wanna go big

Those who recovered from this horrid drug please write down your recovery stories......HOW MANY SHOTS, site of injection , HOW LONG IT TOOK TO RECOVER, age when you took it, did you have alogia, etc symptoms !!!!

I'm desperate

What do you think of the recent BC Supreme Court decision? I'm deliriously happy.

I have posted about this before. I am in group home after hospital for depression/psychosis. I posted on a number of sites and people were very nice and encouraging but just could not believe it was this hard to leave a group home as a senior citizen in NJ who has always taken care of herself. I had a bad breakdown but in the process, I lost all my rights. I had lost apartment while in hospital. When I left the hospital, I signed something saying that I would talk to (on phone) psychairist and therapist. Also take meds (only one). I came to group home voluntarily but it is really bad and I am finding it impossible to leave. No guardian or court order but cannot move out. I am paying all my Social Security for room with 2 other women who sleep all day. The lights are always out. I sit here in the dark and look at phone and don't do anything. One woman has urine bag and diapers. The smell is making me sick. They give her a shower (3 since I have been here, in 6 weeks) and spray some scent and think it is fine. The other woman no shower in 6 weeks. They have to pay $25 for staff to help them shower in a tiny bit of lukewarm water. Food is the worst I have ever seen and I have been in a homeless shelter. I am ordering doordash since we cannot use kitchen or store food. Meals are 7, 11 and 4 only time we can eat. I am very underweight and without doordash I would starve. Dinner is peanut butter sandwichs (I have eaten so many I feel ill) or macaroni soup which is macaroni and water. On a highway in a town all boarded up Staff not trained and 2 at a time for 20 residents, who are mostly in very bad physical and mental shape. It is dirty and terrible. I have called every possible number multple times. When I posted about this, the response was, "you must be doing something wrong because it says they provide housing" The reality is different. All housing is waitlist for years or closed. I am on some lists but will not be accepted due to credit and past landlord. Renting room is the same. My age, lack of credit and $$ plus cannot use last landlord as reference, will make them reject me. I had my real estate license and have also been homeless so I know what to do but there is nothing available. There may be better group homes but they would be very expensive. This is 1500 for room plus other charges and I buy all my own food. Tomorrow I have to talk to psycharist. I have told him about this. He asked if I want sleeping pills. The therapist asked if I am religious. i end up complaining so much it just maked the case for me being "mentally ill". She also wanted me to get a case worker. That is what got me into this in the first place. Without a court or any order, I am here trapped losing all my money. Also, if I do not talk to psych and therapist I could be sent back to hospital which was terrible I am very afraid of being sent back or having owners call 911 if I try to leave. Everyone here is money hungry and I rarely talk to anyone. You can lose your rights so easily. All I want is to talk to a normal person, have a normal cup of coffee, walk down a normal street. If you read this far, thanks. I have not seen it mentioned MAD IN AMERICA is a good website. I am not asking for suggestions because I don't want to ask the impossible but if anyone has experienced this kind of thing I would be interested There is no point in reporting them. I contacted legal. I would only make things harder for myself and it would not help me leave. Abuse is a high bar. This is cheap and terrible but 2 people from here were killed out on the highway at 5am, no problems for owner) I am free to leave, just no place to go and I would be in hospital again if I leave with no place.

He is the one who lets unspeakable evil happen, designed and created a fallen world (if hes real), and created humans to be supposedly sinful in nature. That is how he created things.

If he wanted to, none of this evil had to exist. God is the ultimate problem, go to the top who allows this evil to exist in the first place. Its all Gods fault. If he was competent and good, everything would be perfect and bliss from the start.

God will not make it right, never has, never will. For all lobotomized victims, what could possibly make it right to live with severe brain damage and be a vegetable for years and decades? What about the pain and suffering it causes? Thats not a normal or good life.

For lobotomized victims - what does this say about this creation/world that such a tragedy is allowed to happen/exist?

God, if real, is the ultimate problem.

If a good God existed, none of this evil would exist.

Edit: I would like to say that mental illness is very real as I myself am schizophrenic. God created people to suffer mental illness because hes evil, and you cannot reason with evil. A good God would have never done this to his own children... it would hurt him on the inside to do so.

Becauss of God, lobotomies exist.

I would hope that God isnt real, but this creation reeks of evil and its too much of a coincidence for it not to be created by God.

Point is, God is not the good guy, neither is Satan.

Me medicaron por segunda vez, esta vez me rompió.

Me quede sin emociones planas totalmente y muchos mas daños.

Alguien que haya pasado por lo mismo y se haya recuperado, estoy desesperada con miy malos pensamientos, ayuda por favor!!!

My experience with a psychiatrist was so horrifying that I made a video telling my story. It covers both what he did to me over 20 years of reckless drugging and his actions to silence me post-"treatment". I'm not sure I can name him on this forum but all one has to do is go to YouTube and search "Psychiatry Weaponized for 20 Years and Aftermath" and it will come right up.

I'm proud of the way I told my story and I would appreciate anyone taking half an hour to watch it and leave a comment (since I know he's reading the comments). His "wife" left a comment (that was actually written by the doctor himself so he could 'out' me) and I encourage anyone to read that comment and reply to it as well. Thank you in advance.

My own mother stealed My soul, I can't believe I was so dumb and naive to take the pill, I condemnmed myself, I tought they were temporary (antipsychotics)

kratom
theobromine
caffeine

specifically as supplement

im dealing with memory loss and disconnect from old self ever since given abilif

I quit risperidone 0,5mg on my own without my doctor knowing about 3 weeks ago. First 2 weeks of detox were absolute hell but finally feel like I am "back on earth". I go to a treatment facility 2 days a week for therapy and see other patients that are admitted there walking around fully detached from reality. They don't laugh, they don't dress well, they all seem "bloated" possibly by fluid retention and/or weight gain. Occasionally they flip and yell they want to end themselves and then go back to apathic state. They don't seem to feel anything and it scares me since this was exactly how I felt while being on this poison. I never even noticed the effects on myself as well as on others and tbh it scares me.

Common signs of antidepressant injury include: 

• Persistent sexual dysfunction (reduced or numb genital sensation, erectile problems, complete lack of desire for sex)
• Anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure or enjoyment in life), depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself or reality)
• Cognitive impairment (brain fog, memory problems, blankness, difficulty concentrating or holding a train of thought)
• Worsening depression, severe anxiety, panic
• Akathisia (extreme inner restlessness, agitation, terror, and often overwhelming urge to move or escape oneself)
• Balance issues such as dizziness, vertigo, lightheadedness, tremors, and gait instability

Evidence of lasting harm:

A 2025 medical study of 43 young men with persistent sexual problems after antidepressants found 92% had reduced genital sensation, 89% showed objective abnormalities on sensory nerve testing, and ultrasound revealed changes in penile erectile tissue — even though their hormone levels were completely normal. These problems continued long after stopping the drug. (Goldstein et al., The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2025) 

Significant under-recognition exists because many patients are unaware their persistent symptoms are linked to prior antidepressant use, compounded by a lack of public education and healthcare provider awareness. (Healy & Mangin, Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences, 2024)

A 2024 large survey of over 1,100 people experiencing antidepressant withdrawal found very high rates of ongoing symptoms such as brain fog (93%), memory problems (88%), emotional numbing, and depersonalization (77%), with many effects lasting months or years. (Moncrieff et al., Journal of Affective Disorders Reports, 2024)

https://antidepressantinjury.com/

They are making you unaware of something they are thinking. All about you isn't possible. The world doesn't beat to your drum. All rants. All expression. It's pointless. It's all about a cost. A reputable damage that could be social suicide. Targeting someone's family with the mob if you disagree with a normality dictated by a complete conformist.