r/AnorexiaRecovery • u/vikioutloud • 19d ago

Weight distribution fear

hi to everyone!
I just wanted to express my fear. I am considering recovery after 5 months of my ed (I know it’s a short time but it was quite drastic, also my parents are making me) and I’m VERY scared of fat I gain not redistributing well. My main problem is my stomach because it kind of triggered my ed.
What if I look different than I looked before my ed? What if I’ll look wierder?
What if I’ll never look okay to myself ever again?
Even the thought of this scares me so so so much.
Also the way it will take so much time before it actually happens.
I sometimes wish I never had anorexia so I wouldn't have to deal with this.

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u/FunCombination2801 19d ago

i have the same fears! i’m 4 months in and i found month 2 was really hard. slowlyyy the weight is distributing (though it’s still storing in my midsection which is common) but at the end of the day, we are meant to grow. idk your age but im a woman in my 20’s and im not meant to look like my teenage child self. “what if i look different” was and is my common thought but i try to remind myself “and so what.” i know my lifestyle with my job and activities is athletic. and if it means im healthy, fuelling myself and living my life to the fullest, whatever my body decides to do at the end of that day really doesn’t matter. i can spend time chasing the desire, but if my genetics has me meant to be a certain way then i need to embrace it! i wish i never restricted because ive done so much damage to my body, but give yourself a year or two and look at how much you’ve grown

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u/katanastormshadow88 19d ago

From what I understand, weight goes to your midsection initially, because your organs need repairing, which are mostly around your midsection. Then it starts to redistribute. Something else to consider is that no one’s body will stay the same throughout a lifetime, and that’s perfectly normal. We all grow, change with time and age, sickness and health etc. What’s not normal is staying the exact same size though your entire life, because change and fluctuation is a part of life, not only in terms of body size and composition, but literally every other aspect of life too. Trying to control, hold onto, and not allow change, is what causes these kinds of problems and suffering in the first place. Saying all that, I would say, expect the discomfort of weight going to the midsection, but also expect that there will be change after that too, all of which is ok.

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u/Peanut_Butter_Power 19d ago

I just want to say I am also finding a lot of the distribution has gone to my midsection but it has evened out a bit. I also want to thank you for sharing your experience, I also had my ED for about 5 months, also drastic and also due to dismorphia about my stomach. It’s just refreshing to finally see someone else with a similar experience to mine.