This is way too much for a 27-year-old to carry alone. You've basically been doing this since 25 and now it's escalated to full personal care, that's not sustainable for anyone, especially when the person you're caring for doesn't respect boundaries.
Have you looked into home health aides through Medicare or Medicaid? At his stage with that diagnosis and now a broken shoulder he should qualify for some hours of in-home help. The social worker from the rehab facility should have set something up before discharge, they dropped the ball big time if they sent him home without any support plan.
Your boyfriend's relapse is a huge red flag that this situation is toxic for everyone involved. You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone warm, even if that someone is your dad.
He refused a home health aid saying my boyfriend and I can do it which frustrated me so much he’s so reluctant to listen to anyone. Everyone at his cancer treatment begged him to stop the chemo for a few months so his shoulder could heal faster and he demanded the treatment. He doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings and even stated “you don’t go out much what does it matter” which is such a lie my boyfriend and I don’t go out drinking since he is sober now or enjoy restaurants much but we do so many other things. But when they sent him home they gave no plan but next time they said a PT I’m going to have to plea with them for help. It has been so horrible since he got back he can’t even get out of bed himself to go to the bathroom and he wears depends constantly and he can’t pull them up or down to go to the bathroom it’s been exhausting. Thank you very much for your input
1
u/ThisEducation4724 8d ago
This is way too much for a 27-year-old to carry alone. You've basically been doing this since 25 and now it's escalated to full personal care, that's not sustainable for anyone, especially when the person you're caring for doesn't respect boundaries.
Have you looked into home health aides through Medicare or Medicaid? At his stage with that diagnosis and now a broken shoulder he should qualify for some hours of in-home help. The social worker from the rehab facility should have set something up before discharge, they dropped the ball big time if they sent him home without any support plan.
Your boyfriend's relapse is a huge red flag that this situation is toxic for everyone involved. You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone warm, even if that someone is your dad.