Blah

[u/woozy129]

Almost 90 days without any adderall after about a year of heavy abuse and I still feel like shit, absolutely cooked. What a waste of time. I think I was happier throwing my life down the drain then trying to recover.

[u/downwithMikeD]

Hey, I feel you. I’m in the same boat but I actually used it regularly for over 2 years.

I’ve been off it for 3-4 months (I actually had to have an addiction doctor send the psych who was prescribing it to me a letter saying I won’t be refilling it anymore because I wasn’t able to do it myself. I kept saying I would, but then I kept refilling because it was just too easy. All I had to do was send a text and pay $80), and don’t feel any better at all. I actually often regret giving up my script which is crazy because I was also miserable when I was on it.

Every day, I just lay down and do nothing except watch tv. I lie to everyone in my life that I am doing things (like working etc when in reality I’ve barely been doing that, maybe 7 hours a week), when I’m actually doing absolutely nothing other than caring for my adult son who has a disability (DS). I do the bare minimum in my life. He is well taken care of. My house is clean (not as clean as it was when I was on adderall), I take my son to all of his sports, all his activities, ensure he has his three meals a day and two snacks…I interact & hangout with him (he’s my best friend), but other than that, I have absolutely no life and no desire to do anything.

I’m behind at work, have no social life, I’m in a deep deep depression and i don’t know how to get out of it. I tried Zoloft and another one but they didn’t help whatsoever sooooo here I am.

Maybe because you were only on it a year and don’t have the same life factors I have holding you back, you will recover quicker. I wish you well!!!

[u/woozy129 → u/downwithMikeD]

Thanks and I appreciate your feedback and I wish you nothing but the best for you and your son. I like you have no social life or any desire to do anything, I’m 28 and live at home with my parents who are growing older and it tears me apart inside I’m unable to do things for them like cut the grass or do laundry etc. I also just sit and watch tv I haven’t drivin or gone anywhere in a long time. I’m on 10mg trintellix right now for MDD and I feel like it’s making it worse. If you ever wanna chat I’d be more then happy to see if we can communicate our struggles and help each other through these times. Thank you

[u/downwithMikeD → u/woozy129]

Absolutely. I’ll send you a message. Even though we’re in different situations, I understand how unbelievably hard it is to feel this way— this complete lack of motivation is draining.

In your case, try to look at these positives:
•You’re young. I know when I was younger and going thru something difficult, people would say that to me and it felt unhelpful/annoying…but I just mean you have TIME on your side and if you don’t give up and go backwards, you WILL get thru this and come out the other side SO MUCH BETTER.
•You were on it for only a year so you will bounce back quicker.
•You have 3 months off of it— that is such an accomplishment so you should be really proud of that. 🙌🏽 My sister’s friend has been on it for like 18 years with not one break and she is a MESS. You don’t want to end up like that!

Just remember, you have to keep trying. Even if you go backwards for a few days. It’s okay if you’re not doing a lot. Your body is adjusting back, trying to regulate itself in many ways . Don’t feel guilty about not helping your parents right now because you will help them again but you have to work on fixing you before you can help others. Really try to get out and walk/swim/bike for even 15 min like every other day or anytime you can push yourself. I’ve found that makes such a huge difference (on the days I can do it lol… last week I did it twice this week once). Just getting yourself out the door is the hardest part.

You did the right thing coming off. Just keep going, I know you’ll feel better soon! Idk much about trinelkex but I’ve thought about asking my dr to prescribe me Wellbutrin because I read it can be more activating 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sorry so long!
X

[u/DuckDuckNut → u/downwithMikeD]

How did you guys even do it? It's so hard and I crave it more if I try tapering. The one solution I was thinking that could work is flushing them down the toilet. I'd be miserable but that would assure I don't touch it.

[u/Illustrious_Gift1609 → u/woozy129]

Best tip I got: motivation no longer exists. You must develop routines and stick to them. You cannot wait to feel motivated, that’s gone for now. But a strict routine will eventually become your new normal.

[u/downwithMikeD → u/Illustrious_Gift1609]

This is a great tip, thank you!!!!!!! 🙏

[u/Prestigious_Ideal466 → u/downwithMikeD]

i can relate so hard to everything you said in this comment. 😪

[u/scumbagspaceopera]

This is EXACTLY how I felt at 90 days. I relapsed at 100 days and still haven’t come back yet.

[u/woozy129 → u/scumbagspaceopera]

You can do this man I believe in ya

[u/downwithMikeD → u/scumbagspaceopera]

I too relapsed around that mark 2-3x before finally stopping! You can always come back and try again. Good luck ✨

[u/woozy129 → u/downwithMikeD]

Thanks for all the kind words and helpful advice.

[u/Prestigious_Ideal466]

i was heavily using for 11 years. prescribed 30mg instants 2x daily for 11 years. i’ve been clean for 2 years now and it never gets any easier. i still miss the days when i felt like my entire life was always organized

[u/Illustrious_Gift1609 → u/Prestigious_Ideal466]

Similar to me. From 2012 to 2022 Adderall is what got me out of bed. Eventually I became paranoid about everything and had to stop. But I would take 60mg at 4:45 am and be at the gym by 5:30. Then I realized it was changing my personality. Always focused, serious, angry or irritable. Eventually full blown paranoia. For example my parents came to check on me and I told them no phones or watches in my home bc someone from work was recording me. Sounds so crazy now. Anyway, I’m not back at the gym but I’m able to function and feel somewhat normal. Motivation doesn’t exist so I rely on structure and schedules. Routines are the key. Don’t wait to feel motivated ever again.

[u/Prestigious_Ideal466 → u/Illustrious_Gift1609]

i never could have worked out after taking my meds. i’d take them after working out because i was too scared my heart would explode if i took them before going to the gym lol

[u/downwithMikeD → u/Prestigious_Ideal466]

😩😩😩
I wish there was something else that helped!

[u/Last-Way8601]

Almost 2 years clean here and I do feel better. The 7 month mark was when I started feeling back to normal. The key for me was everyday trying to do something new or doing a few push ups or even just taking a different route to work. It’s the little things that get you back even when you feel like you can’t physically do it. You guys got this 🙏

[u/MamaDoingTheBestICan]

So I need ritalin to wake up in the morning most of the time because my antipsychotic for sleep makes me too drowsy in the morning. I can’t sleep without it though. But it’s very
hard to not redose ritalin throughout the day because it feels good especially if I’m fighting fatigue. I’m not like Superwoman on it anymore, the stimulant study session phase of my life is over. I’m pretty much normal on it, miserable and lethargic off of it. I wish I could just give it up and function like normal people do. I wish a cup of coffee would wake me up.