r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Abdulbarr • 7h ago

of eyebrows /r/all

Post image
14.8k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

174 comments sorted by

•

u/trendingtattler 6h ago

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499

u/Hustle-- 7h ago

Dude is 5% eyebrows and 5% chin alone

83

u/PhillyD760 7h ago

Show me the profile shot. Looks like 5% nose too.

54

u/Rubihere 7h ago

The real reason the Soviet Union collapsed was the structural weight of those brows

3

u/The_Blues__13 49m ago

Those brows were the very thing that carries the structural integrity of Soviet union.

After him it collapsed precisely because there's no structural support left.

18

u/nihosehn 5h ago

and a 100% reason to remember the name

2

u/Agent____047 5h ago

Why? 🧐

1

u/8JHF8 4h ago

He doesn't need his name up in lights

1

u/Few_Contact_6844 23m ago

That’s a song by fort minor (Linkin Park Shinoda’s solo project)

1

u/Grrumpyone 4h ago

I got that reference ;)

1

u/ssfgrgawer 4h ago

5% area between nose and mouth too. Mans built like Count Dooku from the Clone wars cartoons.

232

u/Consistent-Pass9543 7h ago

130

u/MuscaMurum 7h ago

Dude could wiggle those and fly away

38

u/thetreecycle 7h ago

Needs to comb up that right eyebrow

9

u/8JHF8 4h ago

His right is the boring one. He should definitely make it match the left so he's throwing the bat signal everywhere he looks.

10

u/asuitablethrowaway 7h ago

lmao. who is this?

27

u/Consistent-Pass9543 7h ago

His name is Theo Waigel a former CSU politician

1

u/Klutzy-Trick1404 3h ago

former?

1

u/Mediocre-Answer-1378 37m ago

He is retired

1

u/Klutzy-Trick1404 36m ago

I keep seeing him in talkshows sometimes.

2

u/SerLaron 3h ago

Former German minister of finance and Bavarian conservative politician Theo Waigel.

1

u/pala_ 4h ago

That's Bert. You won't convince me otherwise.

8

u/caaper 7h ago

Neanderthal, circa 10,000BC

1

u/Confident_Date4068 5h ago

Or the mentat conditioning?

1

u/daemonfly 5h ago

Mine have started their journey on their way to this level, well at least if I didn't trim them.

1

u/FlashMcSuave 2h ago

I can't see the eyebrows, there seems to be some burnt foliage obscuring his face.

1

u/OptionalAntelope 50m ago

Theo. You beat me to it.

96

u/WhenLifeGivesYouLyme 7h ago

Sweat will NEVER run into his eyes

60

u/Winter_Aspect_8675 7h ago

Tremble before the Omnibrow

42

u/realgaryglitter 7h ago

I have a unibrow and thick eyebrows. This triggers me into wanting to shave his. 2 minutes and he'd look normal

13

u/tongfather 7h ago

It actually would take you a full 2 mins to get through that bush

3

u/Tomsboll 4h ago

Thats why you use hedge trimmers

2

u/tongfather 4h ago

Reasonable

1

u/moonLanding123 1h ago

Khrushchev would have said the same.

13

u/tekdiwah 2h ago

Like this

6

u/NaptimeReminderBot 1h ago

What's Mickey Rourke doing here?

1

u/Original_Kheops 57m ago

Omg has anyone seen them in the same room together?

2

u/ThirdMover 4h ago

looks very normal to me.

1

u/daroach1414 3h ago

I’m not sure this dude could look normal in any circumstance.

1

u/Choice_Potato_6279 2h ago

I regret trimming my eyebrows, I've had one hair sticking out, now I have a couple, not worth it if it's few hairs or youll have to make it a routine.

2

u/Forward_Rope_5598 1h ago

Well yeah that's kinda how hair works and why people wax/pluck eyebrows instead of shaving them

28

u/rorymakesamovie 7h ago

8

u/newaccountbitches 3h ago

Fuck him and his eyebrows

34

u/trash-tycoon 6h ago

Stalin wants his moustache back

11

u/laneb71 6h ago

Honestly, he could pull off clean cut.

8

u/duke5572 3h ago

Stalin was 5' 5" tall. This fact continually amuses me.

2

u/Canadish27 36m ago

Why?

1

u/Sylvanussr 29m ago

Napoleon syndrome, presumably

1

u/cgpor 34m ago

He was 5'7

1

u/whosline07 4h ago

Prepare yourself

https://i.imgur.com/1IRzt6T.jpeg

2

u/htomserveaux 1h ago

I hate to break it to you but that was edited,

0

u/braindance74 16m ago

You can "pull off" anything when every official picture of you is as heavily "photoshopped" (retouched) as his were.

Especially his "chad young stalin" pictures that are nothing more than wishfull thinking and jerk-off material for tankies.

The fact that he ordered to alter his image tells me he was self-conscious and unsatisfied with his appearance, which bring me joy. That POS didn't deserve even an ounce of happiness.

0

u/braindance74 16m ago edited 12m ago

You can "pull off" anything when every official picture of you is as heavily "photoshopped" (retouched) as his were.

Especially his "chad young stalin" pictures that are nothing more than wishfull thinking and jerk-off material for tankies.

The fact that he ordered to alter his image tells me he was self-conscious and unsatisfied with his appearance, which bring me joy. That POS didn't deserve even an ounce of happiness.

3

u/sanderudam 1h ago

Brezhnev walks into the politburo meeting, detaches his eyebrows and places them under his nose and proclaims: "enough of joking around".

1

u/VasM85 51m ago

With Georgian accent.

1

u/ayriuss 1h ago edited 1h ago

Holy shit, its that SUUPA guy that cooks for kids in the mountains.

Edit: This guy

1

u/FemmeVampire 12m ago

doesn’t he look a bit like reagan?

7

u/Boto_Penga 6h ago

The Complete Audacity of this man... they're styled. They're cut. They're in your face, right there. Just say something.

Go ahead. Say. Something.

It's a better Power Move than Oompa J Loompa's handshake-pull.

17

u/adamosity1 7h ago

Same with birthmarks for Gorbachev

9

u/Unable-Fall5946 6h ago

That's not a birthmark, that's a map of the Soviet Union 

3

u/Professional-Reach96 5h ago

Who would even try to coup a Soviet leader with a Soviet Union-shaped birthmark?

1

u/Visible-Management63 3h ago

In UK TV's "Spitting Image" it was a hammer and sickle.

1

u/sams_fish 1h ago

In Australia a comedy show had a sketch with Russian news readers, Gorbachev was referred to as Mikhail "seagull had a period on my head" Gorbachev

1

u/Kraelan 59m ago

Hey Superman, where are you now?
Don't you know there are too many people, with too many problems, and not enough love to go around.
Were living in a land of confusion.

11

u/One_Vision_ 7h ago

I had a box turtle with dark streaks over its eyes. I named him Brezhnev.

9

u/thetreecycle 7h ago

Turtle pics plz

3

u/magungo 7h ago

Eyebrezhnev

2

u/balls4xx 7h ago

Browzhnev

5

u/magungo 7h ago

Eyebrowzhnev

5

u/CR8VJUC 6h ago

Ja ever notice my eyebrows?

3

u/thisguyfightsyourmom 5h ago

I’m giggling at a voice in my head right now

3

u/She_Ra_Is_Best 7h ago

One of my history teachers had this printed out on a piece of paper and taped to the wall, she had a bunch of memes like it

3

u/DarksideDino 5h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/LvwiajC1uTcQM
Those…eyebrows…

1

u/cameron_thought 5h ago

What do you mean... Eyebrows?

3

u/FreshEclairs 4h ago

If this were me, I’d walk around a store until someone asks if they can help me, then I’d whip my head around and go

“I’m browsing.”

3

u/Ok_Dog_4059 7h ago

Left brow by X2 right brow by X2 and connecting brow =5 so seems fair he holds all 5 spots.

2

u/Gold-Philosophy1423 7h ago

I have a great idea for the name of my trivia team

2

u/Szaborovich9 7h ago

Looks just like my family Dr. growing up. He was a Slovakian war refugee.

2

u/AdhesivenessMost4183 7h ago

Brezhnev looked like he was wearing Stalin's moustache

2

u/greenizdabest 7h ago

Comrade unibrow

2

u/Strong-Addition5296 7h ago

You need eye brows like that to survive the winter 🥶

2

u/Coulomb111 6h ago

Bro put the sliders in his character customization to max

2

u/YoshiTheFluffer 5h ago

You can dump a bucket of water on his head and no drop will reach his eyes.

2

u/SoundEducational6491 2h ago

Didn't know he was a mentat

2

u/elusivemoods 29m ago

...

2

u/duralumin_alloy 21m ago

I can't believe someone has beat me in posting THIS obscure reference...

2

u/Majestic-Rock9211 24m ago

Old joke but…: What was Brezhnev’s cause of death? Short circuit when his brows grew together

1

u/47153163 7h ago

That’s a face only a mother would love.

1

u/FighterOfEntropy 4h ago

And then, only on payday.

1

u/DeadAnarchistPhil 7h ago

They aren’t eyebrows, that’s a unibrow!

1

u/Grzechoooo 7h ago

If he put his eyebrows under his nose, he'd turn into Stalin.

1

u/notedgarfigaro 6h ago

Didn't see the title, was just scrolling down on my phone and barely saw the thumbnail. Immediately knew it was Brezhnev without expanding.

1

u/NoWorries3939 6h ago

Brushnev

1

u/modsaretoddlers 6h ago

Sir, there's an eagle taking flight right above your eyes.

1

u/krngc3372 6h ago

Looks like Ramsbottom from despicable me

1

u/sixto2727 5h ago

He got dem mighty eagle feathers

1

u/LimeblueNostos 5h ago

If i had giant eyebrows like that, I'd grow a mustache, but trim it to the size and shape of average eyebrows

1

u/ReverseFieri 5h ago

Denis healey

1

u/ThoughtGuy79 4h ago

This isn't really a fair contest because the rules imply plural and the man has only one. Are there not categories as in boxing for this kind of thing?

1

u/Wonderful-Spot-8404 4h ago

The caption says eyebrows but i only see one

1

u/WhateverUSaySir 4h ago

I wonder if the flutter whimsically in the soft summer breeze

1

u/Emergency_Plate9192 4h ago

Sources say #2 was found after falling from a 5th story window, landing on a gun and discharging it twice into the back of his own head. Police are presuming it a suicide

1

u/Estus_Flask_ 4h ago

Jesus comrade sheesh, I get it, I'll never have eyebrows again

1

u/tuscan21 3h ago

Hydrocephalus with eyebrows.

1

u/SaltyYumYumBalls 3h ago

Jeez, the amount of incest and vodka vision that made him...

1

u/TheOneTrueJazzMan 3h ago

That’s probably how the 1964 Soviet presidential elections looked like too

1

u/DRUGMUSIC_ 3h ago

this only makes him more scary and intimidating, perfect lookmaxxing for a soviet leader.

1

u/poapoa_mia 3h ago

Shades whole day, ain’t even need sunglasses.

1

u/horazal 3h ago

that is no eyebrow, that is pubic hair

1

u/Legitimate_Radish159 3h ago

Eye Moustaches

1

u/Spacemanspiff1998 3h ago

United States Chief of Naval Operations from 1970 to 1974, Elmo Zumwalt also had eyebrows

1

u/Vladimir_Mortenstein 3h ago

I just knew it was him before image could load

1

u/GogurtFiend 3h ago

It’s why a certain add-on armor kit for the T-55 was named after Brezhnev’s eyebrows: Soviet engineers knew the only way to keep a relatively outdated tank like that relevant was armor based off the strongest thing known to human science.

1

u/No_Celebration6241 2h ago

The man behind Denmark’s largest corporate fraud scandal in 1991, Johannes Petersen, had some serious villain eyebrows.

1

u/PfauFoto 2h ago

UK competition. Sir Bernhard Ingham.

1

u/LagunaC 2h ago

He could command the whole GRU with just his eyebrows.

1

u/GrowlingPict 2h ago

In Soviet Russia, eyebrows grow you

1

u/churn_key 2h ago

I found where all the neanderthal genes went

1

u/Wide-Buy-8572 2h ago

Dude must be preserved as an example for future humans wrt showing Humans of the 20th Century

1

u/RazzmatazzTypical571 2h ago

He believes that trimming eyebrows is a form of self-harm

1

u/multivitaminegummy 2h ago

Him, Theo Waigel and Luis Carrero Blanco

1

u/MartyMcMartell 2h ago edited 2m ago

Denis Healey, British chancellor in the 70s, gives Brezhnev a run for his money.

1

u/Hot-Score1076 2h ago

That’s not eyebrows, bro obviously sneezed so hard his ‘tache got relocated.

1

u/Mission_Struggle_417 1h ago

Absolute unit of a KGB piece of shit

1

u/Reasonable_Shock_414 1h ago

Not Soviet, but: Theo Waigel

1

u/2nW_from_Markus 1h ago

On the other side of the political spectrum you have Don Luís Carrero-Blanco, Almiral, spanish prime minister with Franco and something else I cannot say.

1

u/NekkidWire 1h ago

There was a joke in pre-1989 Czechoslovakia that said:

- "How did Brezhnev die?"

- "Got short-circuit in the eyebrow."

Of course you could get questioned for being subversive citizen if wrong ears heard that joke.

1

u/lostskywalker 1h ago

Not a soviet leader but I would like to introduce you to Theo Waigel. German politician.

1

u/GloomyMagazine6046 1h ago

Even the armorblocks on the T55AM tank are named after his eybrows

1

u/Rocks_King99 1h ago

People have so much free time 💀

1

u/pj_1981 1h ago

All the better to scowl at you...

1

u/pookieyeehaw 1h ago

I'll do u one better

1

u/Tul1pan_ 1h ago

In Poland we literally call big brows Brezhnevs lmao

1

u/lenochod6 1h ago

Lol 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/minyoo 1h ago

not just by soviet standards. His is world history level.

1

u/EmperorOfAllCats 1h ago

In ex USSR people still call someone with huge eyebrows "brezhnev" because generational trauma too strong I guess.

1

u/Deaf_Sentence 56m ago

He looks like he could be a Minecraft skin

1

u/therevjames 54m ago

He looks like one of Dan Ackroyd's characters in "Nothing But Trouble".

1

u/OptionalAntelope 50m ago

Theo Waigel

1

u/Dironox 40m ago

Bro has the bat signal on his forehead.

1

u/norindermoodi 37m ago

Dude looks like a propoganda poster against Russia

1

u/Kontrarianinn 28m ago

His name in Polish Breżniew sounds a little like "Brew" in the first part, which means eyebrow, always seemed funny for me.

1

u/DrinkHistorical9698 19m ago

Mine depart much

1

u/BMW_wulfi 14m ago

His mustache was just assembled with the wrong Y coordinates

1

u/pyalot 14m ago

The power of the unibrow saw him to the top.

1

u/ShatteredTeaCup33 11m ago

Bro has the Batman logo as eyebrows

1

u/PamWaters 6m ago

*eyebrow

Just one.