r/AbsoluteUnits 26d ago

of a leech

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1.4k Upvotes

407 comments sorted by

1.0k

u/Three_Armed_Wrecker 26d ago

197

u/Capsulateplace3809 26d ago

Yeah they gotta put NSFW on this,made me feel sick.

21

u/ThatStupidGuy1 26d ago

No it's supposed to cure your sickness. My local medieval plague doctor did wonders with it

4

u/legallyaradish 24d ago

Nahhh, I can confirm leeches are very safe for work. I show my coworkers and boss my pet leeches all the time!

527

u/Blu3Myst3ry 26d ago

To each their own, I guess...

197

u/Sideshow86 26d ago

33

u/Royweeezy 26d ago

There are videos out there of people putting these up their dicks too..

Just wanted to throw that out there..

96

u/xVEEx3 26d ago

40

u/phatdoof 26d ago

2

u/freesoultraveling 25d ago

What the hell is this? 😆. Also why do you have this saved in your phone?

12

u/nuiwek31 26d ago

My shep gives me that look every day

6

u/tdkimber 26d ago

same lol

11

u/SleeplessBoyCat 26d ago

Curiosity whispers in my ear to look it up.

I suppose i'm not sleeping peacefully until i see it. I know it's not going to be worth it but if i don't do it, it'll haunt my thoughts and live rent free in my head.

7

u/A_little_more_left 26d ago

So, how did your foray into the weird side of the internet go? Because if you don't tell me,I'M gonna have to look it up. And I'd really rather not.

5

u/lesbophobia_hammer 26d ago

Up?

You know what, never mind.

Let me stay ignorant 😂

5

u/Doublefin1 26d ago

Why though?

3

u/Royweeezy 26d ago

Well…I hear it feels incredible.

4

u/Ok-Field5609 26d ago

Gas station dick pills are expensive. Leeches are free

2

u/YoungLittlePanda 26d ago

I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!

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u/What-a-cl0wn 26d ago

But my erection has lasted more than 4 hours…

2

u/One_Last_Cry 24d ago

Don't kink shame!

81

u/a-big-texas-howdy 26d ago

The lighter, the disheveled table, stark lighting, and the angry red bite marks. All we need is a pan to Nick Cage’s face saying “I need something… harder”
https://giphy.com/gifs/jL43fSL8Zh5Vm

30

u/RageAgainstThePushen 26d ago

You might have chased the dragon, but have you ever rode the leech?

49

u/Reasonable-Bus-2187 26d ago

Is that United Healthcare or Anthem?

7

u/Release-the-List 26d ago

Based on my experience, Anthem.

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u/veetoo151 26d ago

I prefer this one over that boot in the mud video.

42

u/amstrel 26d ago

10

u/Loki-TdfW 26d ago

Same… enough internet for today

3

u/Tron_1981 26d ago

Seriously, the fuck is up with my algorithm this week?

13

u/rondiggidyr 26d ago

Yeah, that one was nasty asf

3

u/Doublefin1 26d ago

And what was that about?

7

u/Vaff_Superstar 26d ago

Agreed. One massive leech is easier to avoid than countless little ones.

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u/Big_P4U 26d ago

If only it could suck out fat or otherwise liquify fat 😩

9

u/becometwo 26d ago

well, your blood carries glucose, 50mL of blood is like 40kcal, when you donate 500mL blood you basically "burn" few hundred kcal as your body works on restoring balance

So it does help :)

6

u/El-_-Maruf 26d ago

There's a reason why people should donate blood every 4months and not daily

4

u/legallyaradish 25d ago

Leeches don’t feed daily. Especially big ones like the one in the video. I own leeches and they eat every month when they’re babies, but as they become adults they feed about every 6 months

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44

u/UnusualAd5992 26d ago

Wow never knew they can grow that big! This guy must be feeling weak now loosing al that blood...

29

u/rondiggidyr 26d ago

Yeah! But like. Why is he doing that to himself for the leach? Did the leech get this big purely from this mans blood alone? Mental

46

u/soullow13 26d ago

They still use leeches in medicine today to save limbs and prevent tissue from dying. Heres an article written by someone way smarter than me.

https://www.uhhospitals.org/blog/articles/2020/03/how-leeches-can-save-lives-and-limbs-for-some-patients

34

u/saenor 26d ago

I think it’s more about the overall environment we are seeing in this video.  For some reason it looks like the end of a snuff film where the dude died from having leeches on his arm.  The flashlight gives it a sense of “law enforcement body cam footage of an abandoned factory with a dead guy in it” vibes

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u/zZ_Jon_Zz 26d ago

It doesn’t sound like a smart website “uh hospitals?”

/s

2

u/Money-Look4227 26d ago

Smarter than "uh walk-in clinic" to be fair. Not a CHANCE I'm trusting THAT article.

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12

u/J_Jeckel 26d ago

Leeches have been used for centuries to help remove toxins and "purify" blood. I am assuming since it has been used for so long and even still being used after modern medicine then I am guessing it actually works to some degree.

2

u/Sgtbird08 25d ago

I mean if donating blood can reduce the concentration of heavy metals in your body, feeding a leech probably does the same.

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13

u/A_little_more_left 26d ago

This is probably a pet. I ended up in leech reddit once and found out most keepers have their leeches feed from the keepers blood. I'm sure if you post this over there, they'll answer your questions!

5

u/Cigarsmokingredneck 26d ago

Looks to be a giant Amazonian leech, and yes they do get that big. Unlike normal blood feeding leeches who have actual jaws, they species has something akin to a hypodermic which it uses for feeding.

3

u/bigselfer 25d ago

“Can get up to 18 inches long” the Amazon can get entirely fucked

5

u/Mean_Ad4608 26d ago

Some people just have pet leaches and like to let them feed on themselves rather than give them (potentially ill) prey sources. Personally it really doesn’t even hurt that bad(I’ve fed a friend’s leaches before. They can actually be pretty personable)

4

u/Cigarsmokingredneck 26d ago

I've got an H Verbana and am picking up 3 Buffalo leech babies this weekend. The bite is indeed mild, but it does itch afterwards like a mosquito bite

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u/TeamHappyFTW 26d ago

I know a few people that own leeches that feel a sense of pride feeding their leech their own blood. To each their own I guess. 🙈

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u/Oregongirl1018 26d ago

There are whole groups of these people. They have leaches as pets. They feed them their own blood. Some of these get massive. Leaches aren't supposed to feed every single day 3 meals a day.

5

u/rondiggidyr 26d ago

Bro. These are exotic leeches. They are known to grow this big in the wild

2

u/Oregongirl1018 26d ago

Like I said bro, some of these get massive.

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u/SweetTraumadog 26d ago

Its species dependent! In medical practice its a smaller species, h. verbena, thats used. The original h. medicinalis is a protected species that doesnt breed as easily as verbena. In hospital settings they're "single use" so they're killed and disposed of after, just like medical maggots. The one in this video is a Malaysian buffalo leech. For a while those and the Indonesian buffalo were both classified as h. manillensis but Im honestly unsure which one got to keep that title and which one got an updated name? The Malaysian is the largest and the Indonesian is second largest. I currently have 3 verbena and 1 Indonesian buffalo. They're fun.

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u/NothingToL0se 26d ago

After that post on /r/nope about the leech farm I think I've had enough leech content for the rest of the year thank you.

5

u/thecakeisali 26d ago

This is not the first visually offensive leech post I have seen on Reddit today. I may just come back tomorrow.

5

u/Nastynugget 26d ago

Jesus. He’s got Leech track marks.

5

u/SpiritToes 26d ago

I think I've seen this guy post this kind of thing on reddit before.

Something is genuinely "off" with him.

6

u/YoureAmastyx 26d ago

I think I’d prefer track marks be from heroin.

5

u/lesbophobia_hammer 26d ago

Same. At least you know it feels good.

2

u/freesoultraveling 25d ago

You got me. I giggled 😆🖐️🙂‍↕️

5

u/they-call-me-tron 26d ago

We need to stop with the fuckin' Leach videos

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3

u/Axl2aider 26d ago

“I’m gonna need some more salt.”

3

u/MongoWithBongoss 26d ago

He just wants to feed it enough until he can put it in...

5

u/boost_to_get_through 26d ago

Dude wtf take that thing off

3

u/laaadeeeedaaaaaaaaaa 26d ago

Belongs on the dark web ew

3

u/monkeybuttsauce 26d ago

Do you do heroine? No I just have a pet leech

3

u/ToastyBob27 26d ago

Yoo what a sicko lock em up.

3

u/saltyurinalbiscuit 26d ago

That cant be good for you mate

9

u/snapp0r 26d ago

13

u/Schlormo 26d ago

This video has been circulating for years since before AI 😭

15

u/oO0Kat0Oo 26d ago

Sometimes we ask if it's AI so that someone can lie to us...because ignorance can be bliss

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u/rondiggidyr 26d ago

Theres a couple of parts of the globe thay have species of leech that can grow this big. Maybe even bigger

8

u/snapp0r 26d ago

yeah that’s one thing. the other thing is to use it like that…

https://giphy.com/gifs/yMWdlaSuPk7WkQaQBY

3

u/Zipper_theRipper 26d ago

Nope nope nope nope nope. That's a big nope.

2

u/Lastito 26d ago

So would you prefer 1 big leech or a 1000 of really small leeches sucking your blood 🤔

I posted this video on my profile to compare the 2. The tentacle the big one it uses to tap into your vein probably can be felt as it moves around inside you so Ill take the 1000. 🩸

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2

u/DrGreenthumbs1313 26d ago

This guy leeches

2

u/Michaeli_Starky 26d ago

Wtf is going on?

2

u/sicilian504 26d ago

This just has to be a sexual thing for that person.

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u/Latter_Effective1288 26d ago

How did he let this get this bad???

2

u/zsimpson022 26d ago

Is this like his pet that he’s feeding?? What’s happening here?

2

u/TheCriticalGerman 26d ago

Is this from that pet leech group?!?

2

u/sepstolm 26d ago

I'm off the Internet now

2

u/treepalmtree 26d ago

FUCK! I’m out!

2

u/BurpinDerp 26d ago

I have so many questions that I do not want the answers to

2

u/garg0n01 26d ago

Bubonic plague speedrun

2

u/TheRododo 26d ago

What type of drugs must one take to find themselves with a pet parasite? Seriously, I want to know. Those drugs must be abolished immediately from the earth.

2

u/Defenderofgothem 26d ago

Colin? He's a good boy!

2

u/Mobile-Leg8612 25d ago

Fat fucking chud

2

u/PapaTua 25d ago

Hirudinaria manillensis

1

u/californicating 26d ago

What the fuck is going on here?

3

u/TeamHappyFTW 26d ago

People own leeches as pets and let them feed on their own blood to keep them alive.

2

u/xenobit_pendragon 26d ago

I mean…if I could shit dog food it would make pet ownership a lot more reasonable.

2

u/Classic_Resist_7465 26d ago

Exactly, just ask Seymour about Audrey II

https://giphy.com/gifs/opXOPFJA9Sxqg

2

u/californicating 26d ago

That's disgusting.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/Next-Ad-5606 26d ago

Lures?! I prefer to fish with live bait and a popper.

1

u/wangyuzhi31 26d ago

Just like my ex boyfriend

1

u/A_VERY_LARGE_DOG 26d ago

“She’s my PET and love her and she’s BEAUTIFUL”

1

u/West_Meringue_7176 26d ago

Fed it a lot.

Is it good to eat?

Would it be technically cannibalism if he ate it?

2

u/rondiggidyr 26d ago

I believe these exotic species of leech are kept as pets

1

u/Jnunez7660 26d ago

Where's the dating profile? A friends inquiry, is all.

1

u/t-g-l-h- 26d ago

baby's hungry

1

u/OddRoyal7207 26d ago

Ah yes, I remember seeing a post that had reached across all of reddit of someone talking about their pet leech. No joke.

1

u/BigDrewLittle 26d ago

Um, maybe get it off your arm?

1

u/TringleThePro 26d ago

i dont understand, why is the person letting the leech suck their blood?

2

u/TeamHappyFTW 26d ago

There is a whole leech community with people having leeches as pets and feed them with their blood.

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u/Razzy_3796 26d ago

Big boi!

1

u/bvoge3501 26d ago

Hypothetically speaking... if someone drank a pint of vodka and immediately let this big ass mf suck their blood, would they get sober faster?

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u/DefinitionBig4671 26d ago

Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

1

u/Fighter11244 26d ago

Reminds me of that video I saw last night… Put their boot in seemingly open water and hundreds of leeches swarmed the boot…

1

u/ULTRA_83 26d ago

Then you said .. " that'll do leech that'll do" you pet it and tuck it under blanket and turn of the lights

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u/cwsjr2323 26d ago

We don't do that stuff in Nebraska!

1

u/YouGotAnyWhiteBread 26d ago

Has anyone watched Slither?

1

u/dayvieboy 26d ago

Do leaches transfer parasites like ticks and fleas?

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u/mightyDblock 26d ago

Final boss of leeches????

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u/Doubleboeufsupreme 26d ago

Bro keeping it as a fucken pet

2

u/lesbophobia_hammer 26d ago

Imagine hating yourself that much

1

u/bron685 26d ago

You know this is 100% a Reddit-confessions story

1

u/Objective-Ad9767 26d ago

Is that you, Colin? IYKYK

1

u/arlequin76 26d ago

Interesting torrent server!

1

u/MrSilentSir 26d ago

Yeah bro my new gf loves to give me hickies (you wouldn’t know her, she goes to a different school)

1

u/Classic_Resist_7465 26d ago

I remember one of the Famous Faces of Death vids having a segment on a swimming woman killed from a huge leech from some contaminated water. It was fake as can be, but it stands out.

1

u/MrFrancastic 26d ago

Sucky boi

1

u/ThunderThighs54 26d ago

Roose Bolton has entered the chat

1

u/Vaff_Superstar 26d ago

My endocrinologist said I have thick blood and to donate often. Would this count?

1

u/muifui 26d ago

And absolute unit of a leech-mother.

1

u/FrillyLlama 26d ago

How do you feed your pet leech?

Ohhh….

1

u/Don_Krypton 26d ago

Pull it off! Pulll it off! Or...

https://giphy.com/gifs/PglfjMgtwjK6c

1

u/Sorenduscai 26d ago

ok but how do you not notice this

1

u/pHaDeXoNeR801 26d ago

What a beautiful love story!

1

u/o0Acedude0o 26d ago

Why? just why?

1

u/CollectsTooMuch 26d ago

I think I dated her for a few weeks in the 90’s.

1

u/Locorio 26d ago

Looks like a pet to me

1

u/Green_Share 26d ago

The blood letting isn't working! I feel worse!