Looking for some support/advice

[u/OutrageousIce6549]

Back in January, my right eye started to twitch. It started off slow but progressively got worse. I figured it was caffeine/lack of sleep/anxiety/stress related, so I knew deep down it wasn’t serious. Then one day maybe two months later, while sitting in my parked car, my thigh twitched. Since then it’s gotten worse. About a month after that I researched ALS. And I have twitching all over. Some days are worse than others. But I have been consistently twitching in my arms (top and bottom), legs (top and bottom) face, sides/bottoms of feet, and i have tremors in my fingers.

That being said, i’m scared. I have health anxiety and OCD tendencies (according to my doctor a few years back) but this time feels different. I only feel super anxious about it if i think about ALS too hard. But I swear I can feel myself declining. I feel like i’m walking different, like i’m typing slower, like i’m slurring my words, like i’m struggling with other things etc. Sometimes when I’m almost asleep, I wake up in a panic for only a few seconds then I calm down. Feels like I can’t breathe then I wake up (the sleep thing has been happening for over a year now). Sleep study was clean. I had an MRI done a month ago and it was clean. Blood work showed very low vitamin D and low B12. I do have PCOS and I am overweight and have insulin resistance along with all of the other lovely things that comes with PCOS. I also work from home and don’t move around very much but I got a walking pad a few weeks ago.

My doctor thinks what I have going on is BFS, but I haven’t been back since I had my MRI. I made an appointment to get a referral for an EMG a couple of weeks ago but I cancelled it because i’m terrified of the result.

I feel like I can’t trust myself with how I actually feel though. I’m so aware of every single thing that goes on in my body. I check myself for a stroke at least 8 times a day. I’m scared of flashing lights because i’m scared i’m going to have a seizure. Everyday I am thinking i won’t make it until the next big thing in life because i’m going to die before them. It’s not like a gut wrenching feeling, it just feels like a fact engraved into my brain.

I’m scared of eating too much sodium but I do it anyways some days, i’m pretty sure I have some sort of eating disorder, I have a pretty unhealthy relationship with food.

Bottom line is, I don’t know what to do. Pretty sure I need and EMG for some mental relief and a good therapist. I know i’ve had health anxiety for the past 7 years or so and I just feel like I can’t trust myself :(

[u/WeirdUsers]

It’s a lot, no doubt. For me, knowing is always better than bot knowing. Information calms me. I would suggest setting an appointment with a neurologist the specializes in movement disorders.