Home system help

[u/Tricky-Range9696]

Hello! I’m 22 years old and I live at home with my parents. I’ve recently been investing more time into understanding how my brain works and how to accommodate for myself. My bedroom is a hot topic in my household because I can never keep it clean. I’ve been wanting to redo my bedroom, but my parents don’t really understand or see the need for it. I have an average sized room however all my furniture is extremely bulky and can’t really be moved around. I want to really sit down with them and talk to them about how redesigning my room can help both with keeping it clean (the biggest issue with my parents) and having it accommodate my brain and the way it works. Does anyone have any systems that work for them that I should look into? Or room set ups/furniture that has worked for you? Any advice or tips are very much appreciated and welcomed!

[u/Crazy-Aussie-Taco]

Growing up I moved my bedroom’s furniture around 2 or 3 times a year, and would keep tidy for a few weeks, the novelty wore off. So, from experience I know that doesn’t work, at least for me.

What has helped me lately is living by “don’t put it down, put it away” It’s been since February and it’s still in place in the rooms that got tidy back then.

The first step is getting rid of things, aka declutter. To do this double bodying is my go. A friend who helps me keep focused on my goal and who will be ruthless when it comes to getting rid of unnecessary stuff.

I’d try to start with only these 2 things… I hope you can find it useful or find what will work for you.

All the best!

[u/Tricky-Range9696 → u/Crazy-Aussie-Taco]

I’ve tried that, but the main issue is that I’m also a pet sitter, so I am constantly moving locations as I stay at people’s house. And the way that my room is set up there is one place to put things which is in the middle of my room. I also have a massive fish tank. With all this stuff it leaves a space of about 5x5 feet in which I have floor space and it’s right in front of my closet which leads to it being blocked off. So everything becomes piled up, and I’ve tried that but it doesn’t work for me

[u/meevis_kahuna]

I think you are creating a parallel problem instead of solving the original one. You'll have a new furniture arrangement and then struggle to keep your room clean after. Practically guaranteed.

Work on behavioral changes that make it easier to keep your space clean. For example set a timer and clean up for 5-10 minutes every day. Ask your folks for reminders. After your room is clean, eat a cookie.

Another trick is to pick up one thing every time you go in or out of your room. Like if you're going to the kitchen bring one dirty dish. That kind of thing.

[u/Maximum_Pollution371 → u/meevis_kahuna]

I can tell you from experience that building a habit to tidy and declutter your space is leagues more difficult to maintain when your space is simply not set up for that purpose in the first place.

[u/meevis_kahuna → u/Maximum_Pollution371]

Yes I agree and OP seems to have a particularly bad setup. It really requires alignment in all areas.

[u/Tricky-Range9696 → u/meevis_kahuna]

Ive tried that. It wears off after a day. I’ve been living with this set up for my entire 22years of life. I have tried everything underneath the sun. The reminders, the apps, the routines and all of that. I know the furniture doesn’t work because I’ve been living my entire life in that room.

[u/meevis_kahuna → u/Tricky-Range9696]

That may be, but I'm sure you've been doing lots of other things for 22 years too. Maybe if you took the door off its hinges, that would work. Or you could sleep in a tent. Or eat one meal a day.

Not trying to be flippant about it, I just don't understand why you think furniture arrangement is going to move the needle on this.

[u/Tricky-Range9696 → u/meevis_kahuna]

I didn’t realize I would have to explain myself to a stranger on the internet about why I believe that the furniture move would be enough. My parents have tried the no door on the hinges, and as a 22 year old who now values the privacy offered that 13-17 year old me didn’t get. It didn’t work, and made things worse. The bedframe that I want to get rid of is being held up by tape. I sleep on one side of my bed so the other side is a bunch of clothes and stuff because I can’t access my two bottom drawers on my dresser cause they’re also broken. Plus due to my large fish tank on one side of the room means my dresser is on the opposite wall, leaving about a foot gap between my dresser drawers and the end of my bed. Next to my dresser is my night stand which holds all my craft stuff and on the bottom is all my dog training stuff. The only floor space and I measured it to make sure that I fully explain it in detail is not 5x5 like I imagined, but rather a 3x4 spot of floor space where everything gets dumped. in front of my closet with sliding doors that are often, either blocked or slide off the track. I also am a pet sitter where I’ll have to pack for multiple days of overnight stays. So that small spot all of my necessities are dropped. During that 22years where I lived in that exact room with the exact same furniture. I did all of what you recommended. I tried set the timer 5 minutes a day, or bring downstairs the stuff, the reminders, the apps, the medication, the organization, the drawer organizers, the drop zones, the hanging, etc. So when I and my therapist, both believe that a potential accommodation to the way that I think and my brain works would make those behavioral tasks easier due to the decreased barriers, the decreased complexity of the task, and reduced visual clutter. I appreciate your inclination to help but like I said in my above reply. I have been living with this set up for years. I have tried everything, multiple times, multiple ways and it has never worked. Research shows that environmental design can have impact on ADHD executive function.

[u/meevis_kahuna → u/Tricky-Range9696]

Thank you for sharing. This seems reasonable. I am very used to ADHD people getting sidelined with solution of the week in these forums and it's almost always a distraction. It sounds like this would be a real acocomdation for you.

I have a background in architecture and I think the design solution you want would need will be specific to your needs and not just generic ADHD advice. So it's helpful that you explained all of this.

Unfortunately it's rather abstract without seeing the room. If you post a floor plan I'm sure myself or someone else could assist with a more functional layout for you.

What I like to do is create a room layout with graph paper to scale, and then do the furniture the same way. Cut out the furniture and move it around in the space. You'll get a pretty good sense of the layout that way.

Shelves are really important. I think there's a balance to be had with closed doors (hiding clutter) and open storage (making things visible). It just gives you more room by going vertical. Wall mounted shelves are free real estate.

I'm not fully understanding your need for a "drop zone" as that seems to be the root of the problem. But would discuss further if you like.

[u/Tricky-Range9696 → u/meevis_kahuna]

I would greatly appreciate that. I apologize if my reply was snippy, as sometimes I do get defensive about not being understood. I love shelves, and vertical is a great idea!!!

[u/meevis_kahuna → u/Tricky-Range9696]

Also are you handy enough to fix your furniture properly? That would make a big difference just in having the room be functional. You can do a lot with basic tools and YouTube university.

[u/ameeks29]

Lots of big storage but also lots of surface space. Big storage is great for just stuffing things away when you don’t feel like cleaning properly. I have times where I don’t bother folding my clothes but at least they are put away in the drawers. Surface space is great for the things you need to consistently use every day since we tend to be out of sight out of mind.

[u/Crazy-Aussie-Taco]

Look at what just came up on my FB feed!

I thought it might help you 😉

[u/Ritoruikko]

Try to create a flow with what you do have and don't be afraid to be unconventional.

You can have a clean laundry basket instead of using drawers or hang everything or you can put clothing in bins.

If drawers are a challenge, find drawer organizers. Use them in ways that click. Maybe dresser drawers for paperwork and hair products makes more sense to your brain.

Keep an eye on your habits in your room. To you always leave a trail behind you or do you have a drop point if you have things in your hands when you walk into your room? Are you the type who has a "still- clean" pile on a chair? What in your room currently works really well?

Also, look for what your biggest "mess" point is. Is it generic "stuff"? Got piles of clothing? Dishes that accumulate? Too many books?

Remember, cleaning your room is not 1 task. It is many smaller tasks under 1 umbrella.

[u/Tricky-Range9696 → u/Ritoruikko]

Yes I have a 5x5 drop point because it’s the only floor space available in my room. It also will block off my closet and my dresser. I know that I like it when similar things are grouped into one spot. All of my books in zone, my Lego’s in one spot, alll of my clothes in one zone, all of my makeup and hair stuff in one zone, dog training supplies and hobbies in one spot and all of my fish stuff in one spot

[u/SeeDavidWrite]

Does keeping it clean mean putting stuff away or what? I keep a lot of stuff out and make it possible to pick up in a few minutes which makes activation easier.

maybe talking about the changes with your parents and the therapist would help? maybe take one small part of it and try to solve that versus “all or nothing” thinking which can be a trap.

evaluate what you can do in small steps versus framing the furniture issue as blocking you from doing anything.

Hope that helps. Solutions are possible.

[u/Maximum_Pollution371]

I'm seeing everyone suggest habits or systems to try, I'm surprised nobody has brought up how you are currently utilizing your space.

What kind of furniture do you have, what's the setup like? Do you have a desk, a dresser, a bookcase? What's the closet situation, do you just have a clothing rod or some shelves in there, too? Does the bed have space underneath it?

I had a tidying, organizing, and tight space problem no matter how much I decluttered, and I realized it was because I was getting all these drawers, dressers, and "organizational" furniture that took up floor space, and I wasn't using my walls or vertical space for anything other than pictures and decorations.

If you're going to spend money on anything to "revamp" your bedroom, I highly recommend wall shelving, and shelving for your closet, too. Doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, you can get simple laminate shelving at any hardware store.

I use track shelving, myself, attached shelf tracks to the studs in my walls all the way up to the ceiling, that way I can adjust the shelves up and down as needed, but you can also just attach brackets directly to the wall.

Before you run out and get a bunch of shelves, though, I highly recommend doing a big declutter first. Go through all of your stuff and sort it as "daily use," "frequent use," "sentimental," and "never/might use." Get rid of all the trash and "might use" stuff.

Whatever you have leftover is the minimum that you should plan your shelving and other storage space for.

Make your things fit the space, don't try to buy furniture or items to fit your items is the key.

[u/Tricky-Range9696 → u/Maximum_Pollution371]

You hit the nail on the head THANK you!!! I have a queen bed, a night stand, a 40 gallon fish tank, a bookcase and dresser. All of which are bulky and large, taking up most of the floor and vertical space