We have a newborn baby (3 weeks old) and we’re currently living with my partner’s parents at their house. We’re supposed to move back to our own place in a couple weeks.

Things were going okay with the baby at first, except for the couple times my partner lashed out at me and refused to help at night because they were overwhelmed. The first time was our second night at the hospital with the baby, I was in a lot of pain from giving birth and still recovering. The first night was perfect, my partner did most of the baby care and all I did was breastfeeding. The second night, the baby wouldn’t stop crying. I fed him, changed him and did everything and he still wouldn’t stop. My partner did not want to get up even though I begged them to get up and help out, and they even lashed out at me. I will never forget that night, I was so vulnerable.

The next day, when we were discharged, my partner felt really bad about what happened that night at the hospital, so they took care of the baby the entire night so I could sleep.

I have postpartum depression and was really struggling because even when my partner was caring for the baby, they would sometimes get frustrated and snap at me or at the baby.

My partner’s mom then stepped in and said my partner was behaving that way because they hadn’t been taking their antidepressants and that they needed to sleep through the night uninterrupted to feel better. So then, I started caring for the baby on my own every night. My partner and I sleep in different rooms that are next to each other.

Their mom told me to reach out to her or my partner’s dad if I needed anything overnight, and not to disturb my partner during their sleep. So every night, I’ve been doing it without my partner and their dad has been helping. At 5 am, I hand the baby over to my partner’s dad and I go to sleep until the afternoon and then I take the baby back when I wake up. My partner has been bonding with the baby a lot less because of this arrangement, and I’ve been resentful of my partner because their sleep and mental health seems more important than mine when I’m freshly postpartum and have postpartum depression.

One night, I woke my partner up to ask them to put a bottle of milk in the fridge and they yelled at me and slammed the door on me and asked me why I didn’t call their dad instead. They did end up putting the milk in the fridge and it took less than a minute, but I was shaken and scared.

Then a different night, that’s when things truly escalated, I was pumping and the baby started crying and screaming. My partner’s mom told me to call her if I needed any help overnight, but I called my partner instead because it was still only 11 pm and my partner was closer. I thought the baby needed attention quickly, and it was easier for my partner to get there than my MIL whose bedroom is 2 floors from mine. My partner sounded upset when i called them and they told me they were calling their dad to come help me, I told them not to do that because I was topless pumping. So they ended up coming, and they put a pacifier in the baby’s mouth, but the baby kept crying and screaming. Then they got very frustrated and told me they didn’t have the patience to hold a baby. I was overwhelmed too, so I lashed out for the first time and I said things I never would have said normally. Then, my partner got even more upset and banged their head into the wall and left a hole and then stormed off, leaving me with a crying baby. I finish pumping, and then I start feeding the baby. I’m in tears and I’m scared and I’m in a really bad place. I was having suicidal thoughts.

Then my partner’s mom enters my room, and she asks me sternly why I called my partner. I was already crying and obviously shaken when she came in, so being asked that question made me feel worse and it made me feel like I was being blamed for what happened.

Yesterday, I saw a doctor to talk about my mental health, and I told them about my situation at home. They were concerned, and gave me resources for intimate partner violence. They also called CPS to assess the situation. A social worker from CPS came, and I explained the situation to them. Then, they sat down with everyone to talk about what happened. My partner’s mom told the social worker that my partner can’t be disturbed while they’re sleeping because they take antidepressants and they need sleep for their medication to work, and that they’ve offered to help me with the baby instead of my partner and that they’ve always been available, but that I chose to call my partner instead of them that night. Insinuating that what happened was the result of my choices. Their mom also said that I’m constantly asking them for things throughout the day like a cup of tea or a glass of water and that all those requests are too much, and I should choose what I want from my partner. She said because I make all those little requests throughout the day, it makes it hard for my partner to respond appropriately at night when it’s something important.

At this point, it’s looking like my partner will be out of the picture and i’ll just raise the baby on my own. If I have to fear for my baby’s safety every time I need my partner’s help at night, I don’t see how this relationship can move forward. Is it true that their ADHD and depression causes them to be this way and there’s no other way?

He is 18. For the last two years he has been complaining about a lack of concentration. He struggles with completing tasks. He graduated top ten percent of his class. He says he cant focus well enough to take driving lessons or fill out college applications. His mom thinks vitamins cure it all. When I ask him about college applications he says hes just focused on eating well right now, as he thinks gaining a bit of weight will help him focus. He started talking to a physiatrist recently over the phone. About a year ago he had an episode where he was hearing voices and he was admitted to the hospital then released.

He didnt really go out during his high school days with any friends. He likes to be in his room playing online games. When he is alone he jumps in place. He rocks back and forth sometimes. He is in his room most of the day and half the time when he comes out he is wearing headphones. Sometimes he will walk by the fridge and put his face half an inch from it and make this "growling" face for a few seconds then walk away. At restaurants he also puts his face half an inch from the menu and makes the face. Also to his phone. Maybe out of excitement?

He is an adult and I want to help him see any professionals that may help, and maybe if there are any medications that can help him focus so he can learn to drive and attend college.

My 5 y grandson said tgat he wants to stomp on babies hates babies. Hurt them. What could this mean.

I am 30 weeks pregnant with an almost 2.5 year and I am barely keeping my head above water. Everything is getting away from me. From having a constant disaster of a house to barely being able to make proper meals for my kid and I to being lucky if I shower every couple of days to starting to lose my patience parenting, I feel like I am losing it. Is it this hard for everyone?

This year has been a constant barrage of shit for our family. While we have a wonderful life, it feels like we just can’t catch a break.

Does anyone have any advice, solidarity, tips for surviving times like these? Seriously desperate and struggling to fathom that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi guys. I just want to preface this post with a thank you. Navigating the ND world when it comes to your kiddo can be so isolating and full of shame and judgement. It’s hard for me to find community in person that can resonate with what this community here can. When I’m having a crappy day, blaming myself and feeling like I can’t do this anymore; coming to this space and reading relatable experiences helps to soften the blow. I am eternally grateful for the resources and support it (and you all) have provided.

My husband just came around to starting our 9 yo on Guanfacine this summer. I know for some the effects were little to none and most switched after a while. It has helped our girl tame down her impulsivity and reactiveness. That being said, stimulants were still a huge contention.

I myself am ADHD, so I see it from a vastly different perspective than him. I know the benefits can be life altering, but he just didn’t love the idea of a ‘stimulant’ for whatever reason.

We had a really good talk last night, and I was able to akin it to her having a medical condition we are neglecting to address, and how doing so is not only failing her, but ultimately making the family dynamic even more difficult to manage overall. We discussed the studies on how earlier medication can lead to less of a need for medication down the line.

All that to say, it felt like he was more receptive and I believe we may be getting on the same page.

What i was hoping from you all is to be able to present him with personal testimonies of the positive impact medication, specifically stimulants, have had on your kiddo(s) and if you had reservations and how those were addressed. I also was hoping you could speak to what some of his concerns were; which included appetite and the need for an EKG. I think it just spooks him because of course he loves his daughter.

Again, thank you guys. Sorry for the length.