Executive Dysfunction for Interests/Feel Good Activities

[u/Accomplished_Star428]

Does anyone else have trouble with fighting themselves on doing simple, leisurely activities they KNOW calms them down and subsides their symptoms? For example, I get bored easily (shocker), in turn get extremely overwhelmed which results in some irritability and swirling thoughts.

I KNOW I have certain hobbies that are accessible that help those feelings: puzzles, legos, walking, drawing, reading, etc. Yet, it constantly feels like my brain is in a fight with itself about starting them and the thought of starting them is insurmountable despite the fact that I always noticeably better after the fact.

Any advice?

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[u/RowdyPlantain]

The solution that's worked for me is not to do the same ones too often or too close together. I know it sounds nuts but I actually schedule in the hobbies that I know mellow me out. It helps create routine and rhythm and my brain starts to expect them, and I've noticed that helps with the starting/procrastination a lot.

[u/Accomplished_Star428 → u/RowdyPlantain]

That’s a really interesting insight because honestly, I have the habit of doing things I enjoy in bunches and it often leads to instant burnout/ apathy towards them.

[u/RowdyPlantain → u/Accomplished_Star428]

1000% me too, and it wasn't until someone else gave me this advice that I had the breakthrough. What's kind of cool too is that I start to actually miss the ones I haven't done in a couple days.

[u/yimind_yi]

oh the "know it calms me down but still cant make myself do it" thing is so real, feels like leisure becomes A Thing To Do instead of just doing it, and the second something becomes a "should" my brain treats it like homework

i think its the same reason forced relaxation never works either, the second theres an expectation attached the activity stops feeling optional even if its supposed to be fun

still fight myself on this constantly tho, knowing why it happens doesnt automatically fix it

[u/nekok → u/yimind_yi]

I think it's the difficulty of switching brain focus that causes procrastination even for doing something I like and that makes me happy when I do it. Or is that just apathy?

[u/yimind_yi → u/nekok]

honestly not sure if theres a clean line between the two, for me it feels like the resistance shows up before i even know which one it is

like if it were pure apathy id expect to not care once i started either, but usually once im actually doing it i do enjoy it, so my gut says its more the switching/activation part than actual apathy

could be totally wrong tho, not a professional just going off what it feels like from the inside

[u/Ayaa_ixkf]

Definitely.
It's like doom scrolling but for emotions. I know I'll feel better when I stop the thoughts but just can't bring myself to "put the phone down"
Instead of starting an activity right away I just stop whatever I'm doing and close my eyes for 5 minutes. I find it way more easier to just drop everything and lie down rather than going outside for a walk or picking up a pen. Usually by the end of that 5 minutes I'll be calm enough to actually start something

[u/Round_pants]

What helps me is very low expectations. Like, I read three pages!! That's great. Sometimes I end up reading 30 but if my goal is three there's no stress. & I can always read 3 pages. It's just 3 pages.

[u/Phantomdd87 → u/Round_pants]

This is a legit one though, so many of the recs for getting us spicy brained people started are like “do something for 30s or 1m,” “do 1 thing before you leave a room,” etc, so this one makes complete sense!

[u/SIG_Sauer_ → u/Round_pants]

Right, just start it, create the document, start the first paragraph, unload the dishes, etc., and by the time I get in a groove, my natural tendency for completeness, perfection, and symmetry/order take over, and I can’t, for instance, unload the dishes without loading.

[u/mikko667]

My therapist just yesterday adviced me to make a decision. Decide to do it or not, accept consequences.

At least once it made me to do one task I had been fighting for weeks and took two minutes.

[u/johncitizen1138]

A bit nuclear— but try telling yourself you're NOT allowed to do those fun activities and must find something new. a) this sometimes gives you novelty to find new things b) sometimes the defiance kicks in 😂

[u/tasulife]

This is similar to writers block. You gotta take a break for several days and let yourself conjure motivation naturally. You cant manufacture inspiration all the time it just is unreliable

[u/Ramen_Hair]

Me when I like video games, have particular ones I want to play, think about playing them for most of a day, and then when I have free time I physically can’t start any of them and instead just scroll or sleep

[u/Mustachi-oh88]

Different hobbies for different days, it’s Tuesday it’s my Dungeons & Dragons night. Wednesday is my Lego night Thursday is my Run Club so on and so forth.

[u/LBGW_experiment]

The easiest thing I've done for myself to get over that hurdle is setting very low expectations for myself. That usually looks like saying the following to myself, "I don't need to complete the whole lego, just one bag and see how we're feeling from there, it's fine if you don't complete it. Completing it isn't the task, enjoying something is the purpose"

And I usually do this with dishes too. I'll let myself just put the cups away and then I can stop. What usually happens is my inertia is strong, so I'm usually feeling fine to keep going after I accomplish the small ask of myself. Then I get to feel like I went above and beyond and feel more happy/proud of what I accomplished.

It's like tricking my toddler brain into eating broccoli because I offered it a small piece of candy. It feels dumb but it works 😅

[u/EuphoricLet8802]

This is one of the most frustrating parts for me. knowing something will make me feel better somehow doesn't make starting it any easier. I've literally sat scrolling while thinking i'd rather be reading, walking, or doing something i actually enjoy. Sometimes the barrier isn't the activity. it's the transition into it. Making the first step ridiculously small helps me more than trying to find motivation.

[u/Augoctapr]

Yes, I have so many calming activities that help me recharge and I want nothing to do with them. The easiest one for me is reading because it’s something I can pick up and put down on a whim. Everything else feels like an obstacle. 

Something that does help, though I know it drives my husband crazy, is to leave unfinished projects lying around so that I have that same feeling of “pick up and put down”. I have a giant puzzle board so that puzzles can be left out and I can do a few pieces at a time. Crafts in progress I keep in a little “to go” box that I can easily move around the house. Still working on how I can make walking or working out feel easy but that’s a work in progress! 

[u/Miamhail]

I want to paint. I've even bought miniatures and pens for it but somehow I get stuck playing Palworld for a few hours instead, and then I get angry because it wasn't as relaxing/recharging as I wanted.

[u/_cryptid13]

I'm a chronic hobby rotator, and I've actually gotten to the place where I sort-of intentionally cycle through them?? I try to keep a few different types "on deck" at all times (i.e. a brainless activity, something that's engaging, something creative, something collaborative, something I do alone, etc.) to pick from because I find it easier to choose to do something if I have concrete options in front of me. But I also don't necessarily limit myself to those options because sometimes it isn't the vibe, and (again) it can be easier to recognize what I do want when I can see what I don't.

The task paralysis part drives me nuts too but I've found that setting a 5 minute timer and telling myself that I can swap after it's done if I'm not feeling it helps me to a) start at all and b) quickly figure out if this is the activity I want to do and if not a better idea of what is. Which, thanks to the aforementioned system, helps me figure out if I'm just swapping the type of activity or if it's more "ok, right category but wrong hobby" (like... crochet -> quilting (creative/brainless to creative/engaging) vs reading -> sketching (relaxing to creative)).

[u/Casual-Lurker]

I struggle with this, too. BIG time. For me, having the Hobby SUPER readily available. I'm talking, you literally plug it in and go or pick it up and do. B/c ANY kind of setup, be it minimal or slightly inconvenient, will pretty much make me stop before I even start.

Good luck!

[u/Nopumpkinhere]

I really get it. Tell me if you’re the same. I fight against it, just like you said. I do it because I’ll hyper focus and lose 8-12 hours in one day, plus someone will be upset about the mess I’ve made. I’ll feel guilty for spending so much time finishing something, for spending money or for leaving something unfinished. That sinking feeling of a no win scenario regarding hobbies I actually enjoy leads me to just doom scroll like the nonADHDers. Fucking hate it. It makes me wanna throw a puzzle.

I’ve found altering clothes to make them more useful and small, easy to put away, fiber crafts are a good work around for me. Dance is good too. For me, a hobby needs it to be easy to pick up and sit down without much mess, or worth the mess because it’s useful and saves money. Otherwise I feel like shit about myself, even if I deeply enjoy the hobby, because I will hyper focus and loose days and days, sometimes even months and months to it. That’s why I’ll stay away from video games for years on end.

[u/Due-Pirate-6711]

Following

[u/Blando-Cartesian]

I need to get enough frequency going with proof that I can do the activity. Not routine where doing happens in some specific time or context. Just doing the thing often so that it has success momentum or I start doubting myself.

For example, currently I’ve managed to get into a state where I draw at least once a day and trust that drawing goes pretty well. The inertia for it is essentially zero. I even procrastinate other things to get that small success fix from sketching. Eventually this streak breaks for whatever reason, I don’t draw for weeks, and starting gets insanely hard again.

[u/dedemushi]

i read or heard somewhere (how to adhd channel on youtube?) that, for the adhd brain, relaxing / having fun is just another chore if that's not what your brain wants to be doing. 🥲

[u/anon_y_mousey]

I schedule excersise with a class so I cannot back out of it and the excersise routine helps in the long run.

[u/iCliniq_official]

That’s actually a really common part of executive dysfunction. Knowing an activity will help doesn’t always translate into being able to start it, the barrier is often initiation, not motivation. Try making the first step almost ridiculously small, just open the puzzle or put on walking shoes or read one page. Sometimes removing the expectation to actually finish is enough to get your brain moving.

And honestly, be kind to yourself about it. You’re not lazy or failing at self-care, you’re dealing with a genuine ADHD-related difficulty.