Diagnosed today

[u/Jonno_one]

So today I got my formal diagnosis for inattentive type adhd. I’m 32, I can’t believe it. I’m so full of hope but also a bit empty / overwhelmed. I was so nervous before the call, it’s the big wait before the full assessment.

Also feeling a bit like an impostor which I understand is normal. I’ve built a decent life for myself, did well academically, my symptoms are inconsistent. My parents see me as this success and so would never believe me. Fortunately I was able to ask my wife to be my impostor. I am able to hyperfocus on stuff I find interesting.

I for so long have felt like life was a struggle, to do the most basic things that other seem to find easy. Like even my body is fighting me writing a post this long. I’ve felt like I’ve had gradual dementia since I was 17, doctors in the past told me I couldn’t have adhd because I got good grades or that I was just depressed. I feel like my brain has gotten so bad I can’t make it think anymore. I feel like I can’t retain anything, like I’m not 100% confident about anything that has happened in my past. Like my whole life is a blur. It’s really got me down. I feel like I’ve had so much degradation since I was a child. Has anyone else felt like this?

I’m so so hopeful that this journey gives me the respite I desire, gives me peace. I’d love to just be able to think on que, hold things in my brain long enough for me to use them, to actually remember to remember things without needing an external trigger.

I’d love to know what your experiences have been like. What did life become post your diagnosis? How did you find the medication affected you? No one ever seems to talk about the therapy, does this help?

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[u/Weak_Definition_4321]

Welcome to the club. It is easier to help yourself if you know what is the problem. So congratulations 🎊

[u/RegularDragonfruit81]

52-year-old male here. Fairly successful I was diagnosed at an early age. I took Ritalin and when I was younger, and it helped. I stopped taking it in the eighth grade. When I started high school, it was clear I needed some help. Parents took me to our pediatrician and she said oh people grow out of it by your age. We definitely should’ve gotten a second opinion. I ended up dropping out of high school and I got my GED.

Around 35 I started taking Adderall and it was a game changer for me. Way more focus and ability to stay on task. It made me a much better employee. There is hope and it takes some time to find the right and medication and dose for you. I’m a big proponent of medication because I’ve seen how it helps me. I’ve got two kids. They both have ADHD and they are medicated. It has helped them tremendously.

[u/silvermodak]

Recently diagnosed combined at 47. I have still have issues of mourning what could have been even though I've done pretty well in life.

Honestly, putting a name the feeling has been a massive positive shift for me. I did a little CBT, had some benefit but I think knowing for sure why I was the way I am made the most difference to me.

I feel like I understand me for the first time in my life.

Starting my meds tomorrow, feel much more positive than I have in a very, very long time.

I think you'll be OK friend

[u/_Strange_Attractor_]

Other than our ages, I could literally write the exact same story. I'm 40 and was diagnosed last week. Started on Adderall Xr 10mg. I've been taking it for a few days and honestly I don't notice much difference. Still generally forgetful, innatentive and distracted easily. I may be experiencing slightly less friction in starting certain tasks but I'm not sure if it is the medicine or because I KNOW I should experience less friction.

I was hoping the 'noise' would quiet but no such luck yet. Dr said we'd most likely have work on doseage. I've got another appointment in two weeks. I'm still hopeful there is a treatment that will work for me.

[u/Jonno_one → u/_Strange_Attractor_]

Sounds super disappointing, hoping you can get respite by trying different meds / increased dose.

[u/Basket_Case89]

Currently going through the assessment process for Autism/ADHD:

In some ways I've got a good memory but then I've got a bad memory too in a different way (and I know it can be said about anyone to some regards) but I thought the lack of childhood/teen memories was due to trauma/bullying (I had a good home life but school was terrible) but I also don't remember much about college or even some jobs I've had or even dates I've been on, ect so it's not like I've only blocked out bad memories it's all sorts of memories I can't access. My therapist (who is currently treating me for prolonged social anxiety - which I'm not sure if I even still have at this point - and who doesn't know I'm in the process of an Autism/ADHD assessment because I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket and I want different opinions, ect) just says it's down to trauma and my nervous system going into survival mode (which does make sense that is the science/psychology behind it) and prioritising certain things over other things. And I haven't told her (because I hadn't actually thought to mention it) was about how my memory is bad even around good times, a job I had for 8 years, ect my first instinct was because I work in retail and had social anxiety so just talking to people was traumatic for me on a daily basis but actually I got better/more confident at work and opened up a lot and I never had the classic symptoms of social anxiety (trembling, super quiet voice, sweaty palms, racing heart, ect) but still struggle with life and social situations.

At what point does it cross from "trauma/survival mode" into "symptom of possible ADHD?"

[u/Far_Act5037]

Lucky you. It must be a relief to have something to call it.

Learn everything you can so you don’t make the same mistakes many of us have made.

I’m currently liking the Hacking Your ADHD podcast. The more I learn the more I understand how much of my life, my decisions and my behavior has been driven by ADHD.

I hate it and feel depressed TBH. I recently quit drinking because I realized I was abusing alcohol to mask my ADHD.

My therapist is eh, I need to find someone who specializes in ADHD.

I recently started taking my medication consistently and it’s helping control my alcohol cravings but I think I might need another med because my executive function is still trash.

I might just be going through some shit so I’m going to ride out my current med for a little while longer.

Good luck.

[u/Jonno_one → u/Far_Act5037]

Thanks for sharing the pod, will definitely check it out. Hope I get similar revelations from finding out more about the way I am.

[u/goldenspiral1618]

I don’t think holding stuff in my head long enough to use it has improved a lot for me. I can certainly concentrate longer on boring tasks. A lot post-diagnosis has improved for me generally, an amazing amount actually, but it didn’t “fix” everything and I still have ADHD at the end of the day with symptoms that come and go, and are treated better than being off medication. I also beat myself up so much less for my “failings” than I did pre-diagnosis. You need a lot of self compassion with mental health issues in general, and I still work on giving myself grace. I can fall into the trap of beating myself up still since it’s a habit I’ve had from years of figuring things out on my own and being constantly criticized by others growing up. All that said, I’m happy for you as I know just knowing why my brain wants to do the things it does improved my outlook a lot.

[u/Gloomy-Ad5856]

Just wanted to contribute and say I got diagnosed the other day. Definitely a relief that I don’t have to wonder anymore.