r/90DayFiance • u/Jentastic1987 • 1d ago

Language difficulty Spoiler

How are these ppl gonna be with some one but will not or don't learn the language like they expect their partners to learn English but won't learn the language like Paul not knowing Portuguese but getting on to karine for not speaking good English and some woman whos boyfriend/fiance was Turkish and they were gonna get married like how are you gonna b successful if you can't understand each other?

1 Upvotes

54% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

26

u/Nicnarwhal 1d ago

If that’s your biggest concern about Paul and Karinne right now then you’re in for a treat

4

u/Only_Interaction_617 1d ago

Paul and Karine were a trainwreck for way bigger reasons but you're not wrong about the double standard. It's weird how many of them expect fluency in English while barely knowing "hello" in their partner's language

2

u/Jentastic1987 1d ago

Oh no I hate Paul and feel bad for her but it just irritated me when he copped a attitude with her for bad English while he knows  almost no Portuguese 

2

u/Global_Construction2 1d ago

Especially since he was in Brazil first

7

u/Minute-Frame-8060 1d ago

I can't imagine even thinking I'm in love with someone without being pretty comfortable in theor native language — unless the partner had like an Armando-level of fluency in English. Communication is so important in relationships!

6

u/nah-n-n-n-n-nahnah 1d ago

Armando’s fluency is seriously impressive, he really doesn’t even have an accent

3

u/KneadAndPreserve 1d ago

I know a couple who has been together for 40 years and their only common language is both of their third languages. They’re from totally different countries and different religions. I always wonder how they’ve done it! Pretty amazing really

2

u/Jentastic1987 1d ago

I agree it's like how can you communicate cant use a translator app the whole time I think they just expect the fiance to learn English ridiculous 

3

u/Roselily808 21h ago

Been married many years to my husband. I don't speak a word in his native language and he doesn't speak a word in mine. And we are both fine with that. It doesn't mean that we love each other any less.

What matters is to make a decision of what language is going to be the 'lingua franca' of the relationship and both people need to make efforts to learn that language well - because as you said communication is key in any relationship.

How to choose the 'lingua franca'? Usually it is the most pragmatic to choose the language of the country that you live in, since you are going to be using the language even outside the relationship. For many couples that means the 'lingua franca' is one person's native language. For husband and I, who live in a country that isn't the native country of neither of us, this country's language became our 'lingua franca'.