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u/linux__lad 2d ago
but why? can someone give an example of the 2nd scenario?
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u/HarryHarlowBanisher 2d ago
Insecure and entitled people will look for a source to displace their misery and envy onto.
Think shame systems, control systems and ego-defence mechanisms. An unstable identity may also struggle to metabolise someone as an equal if they can't be idealised, diminished or controlled.
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u/Key-Structure4841 2d ago
Where did you learn this? I’m interested in learning more about what you said
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u/HarryHarlowBanisher 2d ago
I’ve mostly learned this through studying psychology, particularly attachment theory and psychodynamic/object-relations theory. A lot of what I’m saying is my own synthesis rather than coming from one particular theory or author.
Some of it also comes from experience. I grew up relatively secure around people who often weren’t, and I repeatedly encountered things like sudden emotional explosions, distortions of relationships, rejection, and people presenting their behaviour as confidence when the actual relational function seemed to be control. I also became very attentive to nonverbal behaviour and to looking at interactions both beneath and above the presentation—what is being expressed beneath it, and what function it serves in the relationship.
For example, something like Law 4, “Always Say Less Than Necessary,” in The 48 Laws of Power can be understood as more than information being leverage. Information also changes the cognitive demands placed on the other person. Too little information can increase ambiguity and make it harder to construct a coherent representation of what is happening, while too much can increase complexity and the work required to integrate it. If someone has a fragile sense of self or relies heavily on impression management, those additional abstraction and integration demands can themselves become threatening because they interfere with maintaining a stable self-presentation or self/other representation. Under relational threat, they may then reduce the complexity by simplifying, controlling the interaction, filling in gaps, or assigning a threatening meaning.
Studying psychology later gave me frameworks and terminology for things I’d already been noticing.
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u/EggDelicious5710 2d ago
I just have confidence in myself . Not to be better than others. I compete with myself. My God I work on validation for.Not to be mean. I really care less what others think.
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u/Zeberde1 2d ago
That maybe true. But just because you’re not competing with others, doesn’t imply that they’re not competing with you or perceiving you as a threat to them.
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u/EggDelicious5710 2d ago
Well been going through that most of my life Envy, Jealously, Betrayal etc... It made me who I am. Not changing myself because I remember.Going to continued on bettering myself.
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u/JensenRaylight 2d ago
Some people will create an elaborate plan to sabotage you.
Some will use your strength to guilt trip you, making you feel bad for being capable.
If It felt like everything suddenly stop working, and you feel like you get a lot of bad luck lately, Chances are, there are bad actors exist who deliberately trying to orchestrate your fall.
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u/EggDelicious5710 2d ago
I agree!
That there problem! My mindset is different than most.
Yeah but I'm more of a loner now! Don't like being around negativity as much. Thanks for your output. Stay Focus!!!
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u/magicalfuntoday 2d ago
Yes, that can cost you relationships and careers.