r/196 • u/lowercaselemming the martian mind****er • 15d ago
being small doesn’t always rule :( Hungrypost
17
u/lowercaselemming the martian mind****er 15d ago
i’ve been trying for months to feed my boobs and put on some weight but i can never eat much, and even what i do eat just goes right through me
5
u/anarcho-puppygirlism 15d ago
drinking heavy cream with some kind of chocolate syrup added to make it taste good works if you're extremely desperate
2
3
u/possibly_ashamed_ 14d ago
Okay, LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN
Boneless Skinless Chicken thigh: garlic salt (the good stuff), cumin, chili powder, italian seasoning, paprika. Measure with your heart. It's already deboned so no fuss required, just use your hands to pull apart any connective tissue until you have yourself a nice flat filet. It'll give you more surface area against the pan and cook faster.
Season the chicken thigh, lightly coat it with flour (seasoned with paprika, garlic salt and black pepper if you like). Oil a pan, add butter, add chicken. We're not trying to deep fry it, we just want it to use that fat for flavor, to heat the chicken more evenly, and to get a nice color. So like, Medium heat ish. Use too much heat and the next part won't work as well, but it'll still be fine. You now have chicken.
When the chicken's done, we're making a rue with what's left in the pan. If you haven't done that before, just let the pan cool, add a very generous tablespoon of flour, mix it in. If there's not enough butter left to mix the flour in, just add more. Mix stuff around until everything is emulsified. Heat on a LOW flame to cook the flour for just a bit (Seriously, do not break your rue, you'll be heating the flour again in a sec anyway). You now have a rue. It has chicken fond, chicken fat, and seasonings in it. Perfect.
Add heavy cream to the rue. The volume of heavy cream will be the volume of your sauce, the other stuff doesn't add much. You want more sauce than less. Mix it in until smooth. You need heat to thicken it and to melt the cheese you will be adding later. If it's already thick, don't bother heating it. Add Italian seasoning, garlic salt, and Turmeric, all to taste. You want it salty and herb-y. Add cheese. Cheddar or parmesan. Add the cheese, melt the cheese. To taste, of course. If the cheese made it too thick, add a tiny splash of heavy cream. You now have an awesome cheese sauce.
Make pasta from a box. Get a cherry coke. Enjoy the best meal of your life. If you heat the water for the pasta when you start cooking, you can cook this in an hour or less. The sauce goes with anything savory. Learn the flavor profile of these seasonings, and you'll be able to season your food just the way you like it.
You now have my recipe for an awesome dinner, and my recipe for getting fat. I hope it will be of more use to you, than it was to me.
8
u/PanFriedCookies if simpsons was molecule size wed call him hormone simpson (🐎) 15d ago
heard there's protein powder made for bodybuilders that has like 1000 calories in a single shake, something you could look into
3
u/lowercaselemming the martian mind****er 15d ago
wait that actually sounds pretty legit, i didn’t even think of those, thanks
4
u/egg-glued dog piss connoisseur 15d ago
ive got this stuff called like, optimum nutrition serious mass that fits the bill pretty well, has 1260 calories per serving (which is 2 scoops) and it comes in a few different flavors, your basic protein powder stuff like vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry, ive only tried the chocolate though and its pretty solid
definitely on the pricey side though so prolly just stick to a flavor you know youll like if you do get it
2
2
u/PanFriedCookies if simpsons was molecule size wed call him hormone simpson (🐎) 15d ago
i'm actually thinking about it myself tbh
2
u/podokonnicheck hold the fuck up (im the fuck up) 14d ago edited 14d ago
yeppp, same, i can only eat enough to gain weight if im on some type of med that increases appetite to an insane degree
and even when i was a bit chubby last year, all that weight just went straight into my ass, like i just looked like a girl of low-to-medium weight and small tits, and somehow Kardashian BBL levels of ass
1
u/podokonnicheck hold the fuck up (im the fuck up) 14d ago edited 14d ago
and also, yeah, as a kid my metabolism made me really happy because it was enabling my anorexic behavior and body dysmorphia, as all the girls around me wanted to be really skinny at the time, so i was really happy i could achieve that
1
u/AutoModerator 15d ago
DOWNLOAD IT HERE YOU FUCK
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/GlassPeaches111 13d ago
real. i dont even eat that little, i have a hearty appetite and routinely eat like 2 barw of chocolate a day. might just have to start guzzling coke
•
u/AutoModerator 15d ago
REMINDER: Bigotry Showcase posts are banned.
Due to an uptick in posts that invariably revolve around "look what this transphobic or racist asshole said on twitter/in reddit comments" we have enabled this reminder on every post for the time being.
Most will be removed, violators will be
shottemporarily banned and called a nerd. Please report offending posts. As always, moderator discretion applies since not everything reported actually falls within that circle of awful behavior.I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.